Cheng Suran was awakened.

What should she say? Telling the truth means hurting Ruoxian, but this is an undeniable fact. She brought Ruoxian here with a curious mind. Why? Wasn't it to find out? But now, she'd rather not know anything, not think about anything. At least this way, she could happily share good things with Ruoxian, instead of turning her joy into the other woman's pain.

Seeing her perplexed, Wen Ruoxian put up a comforting smile and said softly, "It's okay, I'm just curious."

Cheng Suran's heart battled within, struggling for a while. This day will always come. But in her imagination, she should have introduced Jiang Yu to Ruoxian openly.

"Mm..."

"Jiang Yu and I have known each other before, we had a... relationship, then separated, and then got in touch again because of work, which is the case now." Her voice was very low, obviously, it was a joy worth sharing, but saying it seemed like hiding in the shadows.

Wen Ruoxian listened quietly, and said to herself: "So that's how it is."

The gap between them disappeared. However, they didn't become closer as a result. Instead, they grew further apart. She had always believed she lost due to gender, but she hadn't realized it was time that defeated her, losing in the timing of life's events. In the end, she was one step too late.

Her smile became more and more bitter: "I thought you didn't like women, I was afraid that speaking out would disturb you, and you might even think that I am disgusting, be afraid of me, then it would be embarrassing to meet in the future, and the company..."

"I'm sorry." Cheng Suran bit her lip, her eyes gradually turning red.

"Ranran, I don't mean to blame you." Wen Ruoxian panicked immediately, walked around the bed, and walked to her side, holding her shoulders with both hands, "You don't need to apologize to me, this is my own issue."

Unexpectedly, Cheng Suran's tears fell even more fiercely, and she shook her head vigorously: "I know, I know, it's me..."

It was her villainous heart.

The more honest Ruoxian was, the more it revealed her dark and despicable side - deliberately doing these things to validate her supposed suspicions.

Before this, Cheng Suran couldn't recall how many times she had initiated hugging Ruoxian. She hugged her when she was happy, and she hugged her when she was sad. Now, upon reflection, she realized that every time she hugged Ruoxian, Ruoxian's body would turn stiff and unnatural, but she had never thought deeply about it. She also couldn't remember how many times she had told Ruoxian, "You're the most important." Over the years of their companionship, she genuinely felt that Ruoxian was important, but she had never considered that these words might have a different meaning.

If she could be more sensitive, she wouldn't be so lacking in discretion, unintentionally giving the other person hope.

"I'm sorry, Ruoxian... I'm sorry..." The more she thought about it, the more she blamed herself, Cheng Suran burst into tears.

Wen Ruoxian was heartbroken, and hurriedly wiped away the tears for her, and said seriously: "Ranran, liking someone is my own business. I like you because it's true to my feelings, and it doesn't necessarily need your response, nor does it necessarily mean we have to be together. This state, this experience, is also a kind of enjoyment for me, a process of experiencing various emotions like happiness, disappointment, excitement, or sadness. So... I should thank you, because of you, I understand that having someone in my heart is a very fortunate thing."

She held Cheng Suran's face in her hands, with soft waves in her eyes: "Besides, it's a good thing that you and her can return to each other's side. I'm happy for you."

Cheng Suran cried so hard that she couldn't speak clearly, her breathing was convulsed, and her eyes and nose were smudged red.

"Then can we still be friends?"

After asking, she felt a little regretful, how is it possible? How can they continue to be friends? They can't go back, it's not fair for Ruoxian to stay by her side for friendship's sake. She is selfish, she only thinks about herself.

"No, what I meant is... to stay in touch but not meet up often. No, that's not it... I..."

She was incoherent.

It seems that nothing is right.

"Of course, we can still be friends," Wen Ruoxian smiled and said. She understood what Ranran wanted to convey. This fool had no idea how to handle matters of the heart and would only blame herself. But seeing her so upset and self-blaming, her heart ached as well. "Whether it's in the past, present, or future, we've always been good friends."

"But it's not fair to you"

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"That's not what I meant." Cheng Suran shook her head with red eyes.

"Mm," Wen Ruoxian patted her on the back lightly, "I know."

"This incident is my fault, because I have been emotionally unstable recently, and I was impulsive, which made it difficult for you to be caught in the middle, but now I feel relieved, to tell the truth, after all, I have to face it sooner or later."

Cheng Suran murmured: "Blame me, it's my fault..."

It's her meanness.

But she couldn't say it.

Originally, she had decided that if this attempt to confirm her doubts failed, she would never be suspicious or overthink again. She planned to introduce Jiang Yu to Ruoxian confidently as her girlfriend in the future. But unexpectedly, they stumbled into confessing to each other like this, falling into a dilemma.

This is the retribution God gave her.

A mean person like her doesn't deserve a true friend.

"Don't be weird." Wen Ruoxian stroked her hair, raised her head, and blinked, forcing back the tears.

Cheng Suran closed her eyes in pain, her legs seemed unable to support her body, she wanted to lean on Wen Ruoxian's shoulder, the same as before. But she can't, and from now on she can't.

Outside the window, the quiet had settled in at some point. Only the sound of distant waves could be heard.

The night was late.

"Ranran..."

"I'll be leaving tomorrow. You have fun with them, enjoy your vacation. When I go back, we..." Wen Ruoxian's words weren't finished when suddenly a force gripped her wrist.

"Are you planning to disappear?" Cheng Suran stared at her red eyes, her tone was a little agitated, "Disappear forever, right? I won't be able to find you when I go back?"

Like a wounded and howling beast.

Pfft.

Wen Ruoxian was both distressed and amused, rubbed her head, and said comfortingly: "Why, the company is still there, I can't just leave everything behind. Don't worry, I just want to calm down a bit. If I'm not happy here, you won't be happy either. Nobody will be happy, and then there's no point in this vacation."

Cheng Suran lowered her eyes guiltily.

Unknowingly, she hurt two people.

Ruoxian was the perfect partner of their kind. Whether in appearance, personality, or talent, she was an ideal type that many sought but couldn't find. If she hadn't met Jiang Yu earlier, she wouldn't have been able to resist this charm.

But facing Ruoxian, she didn't feel infatuated or heartbroken, she just felt that this person was very compatible with her. When facing Jiang Yu, every cell in her was trembling from head to toe, clamoring frantically that she wanted her, burning all over, unable to sleep at night.

This is probably the difference between... a friend and a lover.

Cheng Suran sighed and calmed down, she knew that she was destined to hurt one of them, long-term pain is worse than short-term pain.

People always grow up slowly.

She slowly let go of Wen Ruoxian's hand, even this subconscious movement aroused a sense of guilt in her heart. So she restrained her expression and pretended to be indifferent: "Okay."

"I'm going to take a shower."

She hurried into the bathroom, clutching her pajamas.

Wen Ruoxian looked at the closed door, then looked down at the photo in her hand, finally the suppressed emotions couldn't hold back, the bitterness boiled like boiling water, and her vision gradually blurred...

....

Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=4738582

This translation is originally posted on  love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too 

That night, the two had their own concerns.

In the early hours of the morning, Cheng Suran was about to fall asleep and felt that someone was walking around the room in a daze. She was overwhelmed by drowsiness, unable to open her eyes, and then fell into a deep sleep.

Wen Ruoxian didn't fall asleep all night and got up at dawn.

The flight ticket she booked last night is at ten o'clock this morning.

After washing and tidying up lightly, she sat in the room for a while, staring intently at Cheng Suran who was sleeping soundly.

Over the years, she has peeked at Ranran sleeping countless times, but she still can't get enough of it. She fantasizes that one morning when she wakes up, she can see Ranran lying beside her, and she will pinch her nose and call her little pig.

Although this wish will never come true, as long as Cheng Suran is happy, she will be happy too.

The sun gradually rose, and it was approaching eight o'clock. Wen Ruoxian picked up the suitcase, glanced at the person on the bed reluctantly, and left quietly...

Cheng Suran was awakened by a the knocking on the door.

Opening her eyes, the sun had already reached the bedside, She got up in a daze, and called Ruoxian, but there was no response, and the room was completely silent.

The next bed was empty.

Thinking of what happened last night, Cheng Suran suddenly woke up, and her heart sank.

Where was Ruoxian?

Had she left?

—tok tok

The knocking on the door continued.

Cheng Suran didn't hesitate anymore, grabbed her phone, and was about to call Wen Ruoxian.

There were two unread WeChat messages on the screen. She clicked into them, and they were sent by Ruoxian two hours ago:

[Ranran, I've gone back. You enjoy your vacation in peace these days. I also need some time to calm down. Whatever kind of feelings there are, they're between two people. Don't feel guilty, don't blame yourself. Neither of us is at fault. Don't bear all the responsibility on your own. Rest assured, I won't disappear.]

The next message was a cute cat emoji.

Cheng Suran's boiling blood instantly settled, and as she looked at these words, her eyes suddenly welled up with a touch of bitterness.

There was another knock on the door.

"Coming..." She snapped back to reality, put down her phone, and hesitantly got out of bed to open the door. 

A familiar face met her eyes. Jiang Yu was wearing a different style of red dress from yesterday. 

Her face was made up, and her bold red lips held a faint smile. "It's almost noon, little lazy pig."

Those deep black eyes are breathtaking.

Cheng Suran's expression was vacant. She felt like a boat floating on the ocean, having weathered the storm and rain last night, then plunged into a nightmare of despair. Finally, she had waited until the calm after the storm, the clear dawn, and the moment she opened her eyes, she was back in this safe and warm harbor. It was like surviving a disaster.

At this moment, Jiang Yu was her harbor. Seeing Jiang Yu, she had so much to say—feelings of grievance, helplessness, confusion. Complex emotions surged within her.

She dove into Jiang Yu's embrace.

"Ranran?"

Jiang Yu was stunned.

"I have no more friends."

"What?"

"No friends left..." Cheng Suran buried her face in Jiang Yu's hair.

Jiang Yu furrowed her brows, glancing around the room. She saw an unmade bed with rumpled sheets and another neatly arranged bed that was empty. She had a vague sense that something had happened. Her arms hung in midair for a moment before slowly encircling Cheng Suran's waist.

Her rationality told her not to ask what had happened right now.

She held Cheng Suran tightly and whispered, "You still have me."

The person in her arms suddenly trembled, and a hot liquid splashed onto her neck and her heart tightened. "Ranran?"

"Mm."

A sob escaped from Cheng Suran's throat.

At this moment, Pei Chutong and Ruan Mu had already gone out to play. The entire third floor to the east was empty, with no one around. Sunlight streamed in from the terrace, casting dappled shadows from the potted plants.

"Shall we go inside the room?" Jiang Yu stroked her hair.

Cheng Suran nodded silently, turned around, wiped her eyes, and walked unsteadily to the sofa by the balcony. She sat cross-legged, hugging a cushion to her chest.

Having just woken up, her eyes were a bit puffy, her hair was disheveled, and she looked listless.

"Don't hug this." Jiang Yu sat down next to her, took away the pillow, stretched out her long arms, and pulled her into her arms, "Hug me."

Cheng Suran cuddled up to her softly.

There was no sign of Wen Ruoxian in the room, and there was one less suitcase. Jiang Yu probably guessed something, and didn't ask, but only hugged Cheng Suran comfortingly, waiting for her to speak up.

The air conditioner, which was running all night, blew a cool and shady wind.

The air outlet was facing the sofa, and Cheng Suran was still wearing a halter nightgown, in case she would catch a cold, Jiang Yu touched the remote control by the table and turned off the air conditioner.

—beep

The sound seemed to wake Cheng Suran. 

She nestled into Jiang Yu's arms and said, "Ruoxian has left."

"Something happened last night..."