Chapter 65: I Have Hated You Very Much For A Long Time
This translation is originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.
2023 Ver.______T/N: There will be overlapping scenes on original and new versions, if you are a first time reader, I suggest you choose one version and read it to the end before reading the other version, because reading both one after the other can be dizzying and can spoil the whole reading experience
__________
T/N: There will be overlapping scenes on original and new versions, if you are a first time reader, I suggest you choose one version and read it to the end before reading the other version, because reading both one after the other can be dizzying and can spoil the whole reading experience
__________
The weather forecast said it would snow during the day, and indeed, it turned dark in the afternoon.
The cold air casts a gloomy tone on the entire city. No matter how dazzling the high-rise buildings in the distance are painted when covered with dark clouds, they are just like a pile of cold, emotionless hard stones.
On the 27th floor of Times Media, Tian Youlan made several calls in succession. After hanging up the phone again, she flipped through the phone book on the table. She then raised her head and said to Gu Xizhi opposite, "One good news and several bad news. The good news is that Scarlett Li has finalized the script. One of the bad news is that the story is set in a university."
"University?" Gu Xizhi frowned immediately.
"I heard from her assistant that one of the so-called nationwide casting includes selecting a newcomer around twenty years old and another female lead who is an award-winning actress, not over thirty years old."
Gu Xizhi lowered her gaze, and the faint hope in her eyes diminished somewhat. Tian Youlan looked at her and said, "Do you know why I wanted to poach you from Huayu International back then?"
Gu Xizhi calmly replied, "There aren't many film actors nominated every year. I have a part that can be poached."
"That's half right." Tian Youlan put down the phone book in her hand, "Actually, I was in the same school as you back then. Maybe you don't remember me, but I remember you very deeply."
Gu Xizhi frowned, obviously surprised.
"That year, the school assigned an essay, and the essay you wrote was published in the school newspaper. I still remember the title of the essay. I think you're truly a very thoughtful and talented actress."
Gu Xizhi probably also recalled the scene at that time and fell into a moment of silent reminiscence.
Tian Youlan continued, "Compared to the Western approach that strictly appreciates the acting and drama, Eastern theater has always respected the method of experiential acting. It emphasizes becoming like gods or ghosts, where all the actors and their roles should ideally merge into one to achieve a realistic effect and evoke resonance with the audience. This rigid form of communication makes the audience change with the joys and sorrows of the drama, completely controlled by the characters, without considering themselves as rational observers. To be honest, even when I watch movies, no matter how well the characters are portrayed, as soon as I think there's a camera in front of them, I find it uninteresting. But as you said, it's quite difficult to change this situation."
Gu Xizhi nodded and asked with some confusion, "These are too theoretical things. Does it have anything to do with current movies?"
Tian Youlan smiled, "You see, although Scarlett Li wants an award-winning actress, there are plenty of award-winning actresses, but finding one under thirty who fits her role is quite rare. Even if the role fits, the schedule might not align. Even if the schedule aligns, they might not like the script."
Gu Xizhi did the math and seemed to agree with her statement, "That's true."
"When resources are limited, I don't think she'd hold on to the 'already won an award' criteria too tightly. She can use her connections to get you an audition; that shouldn't be a big issue. But you know her; she's friendly in regular life but quite peculiar when it comes to filmmaking. You can make a good impression on her in various ways outside of movies, but when it comes to filmmaking, it ultimately relies on your acting skills."
"All my competitors are award-winning actresses. Even if I'm confident in my acting skills today, it doesn't necessarily mean I can beat them to earn her favor."
"But there is one thing you have forgotten." Tian Youlan slightly curved her lips in a beautiful arc, "Scarlett Li likes to take the wrong approach."
Gu Xizhi narrowed his eyes slightly.
"Artists like to be viewed with wonder in people's eyes, and their perspectives on things are often very unique."
Tian Youlan said with a smile, "She will choose the actors herself in three days. After all, everyone has to audition and it'll depend on who impresses her the most. Anyway, I believe that being able to write theory beautifully can lead to beautiful acting. Your "Calamus" has always been the best performance in my heart, and..." There was a long pause, "Because of various reasons, her movie back then didn't use you, and with her personality, she must have felt some regret."
Gu Xizhi seemed to be touched by her words. She was silent for a long time and said seriously, "I know what to do."
Three days later.
Audition set.
"Cut." Not long after the call was stopped, the staff led an actress into the studio. Excluding the time to put on makeup and change clothes, an actor only had a limited performance time of five minutes at most.
For a script, the most suitable factor is not the performance but the actor's image and demeanor. An actor standing in front of the camera in character costume tells the director without any acting whether they can stay or not. Of course, for Scarlett Li, both factors are crucial.
At ten in the morning, Gu Xizhi was taken to the makeup room by the staff. It was then that she realized that Tian Youlan was right. Aside from the four award-winning actresses with suitable age and availability, there were six potential award-winning actresses for the auditions, and the others were actors who hadn't been nominated at any film festivals but had gained popularity on the screen in the past two years.
Things in this world can always be changed, it just depends on whether one works hard enough.
"Next, Miss Gu Xizhi."
The previous actress's audition ended, and the staff finally signaled for Gu Xizhi to enter the audition studio. It had been over two years since she appeared in front of a movie camera, but Gu Xizhi didn't seem rusty at all. As soon as she entered the studio, she found the right spot in front of the camera.
The staff on the set were all performing their duties, and the atmosphere at the audition was not relaxed. Scarlett Li looked at each actor on the set as if she was looking at a piece of merchandise. It was as if even if she had shared a bed with them in the past, at this moment, they were all strangers.
Earlier, an actor complained that the topic given by the director was too wild and arbitrary. Sure enough, seeing Gu Xizhi standing in front of the camera, Scarlett Li just glanced at her image in the camera and casually said, "You are playing a female college student who is nervous when she sees her mother crossing the road alone. Then, a truck knocks down your mother, and someone quickly tells you that your mother is dead, and you feel very sad."
It was a scene with more emotion than action, and it didn't sound complicated at all. After hearing the topic, Gu Xizhi did not act immediately, but stood there and thought. Scarlett Li looked at the camera again and said to the assistant director on the side, "It is more suitable for Xiao Yu to have long hair."
The assistant director studied her for a moment and shook his head, saying, "I think she's more like Xiao Xiao."
As he spoke, Gu Xizhi had already turned her head to face the distant camera.
The cameraman was obviously taken aback when she looked towards the camera.
The camera positions in the audition studio had been active throughout the process. Most of the actors who received the topic would directly use close-up and extreme close-up shots to complete their performances. This approach made it easier to convey the character's emotions within a limited time. Of course, it was perfectly acceptable. However, Gu Xizhi's choice to start with a long shot was somewhat unexpected.
The performance range of actors in long shots and close-ups has always been different. Long shots focus more on the expression of the external body, while close-up shots are of course reserved for facial expression changes to express the inner world.
The topic given by the director obviously focuses on "tense" and "sad" inner scenes. In the eyes of normal people, the five minutes should be reserved for close-ups to express emotions, rather than long shots.
The cameraman looked at the director. The director didn't speak, and Gu Xizhi's clear boundaries in her actions made it clear that she had entered the role.
For ordinary people, when the director assigns the role of a female college student, actors often rely on their makeup to look like a female college student and directly immerse themselves in that role. However, the characteristics of each person's image are different, just like the elderly usually walk slowly, while children are overly active.
Gu Xizhi took a few steps in front of the camera but didn't walk out of the frame. Her steps were light, and her body was relaxed. Although it was only a few steps, it made her look very vibrant.
The cameraman was stunned but immediately understood what she meant.
Yes, the symbol that a female college student should have is to be vigorous and full of energy. She did not directly regard herself as a female college student to enter the inner scenes, but first used body language to express her identity. Although there were no lines or expressions, when people present saw her performance, they immediately understood that she was a female college student at that moment.
The plot requires her to be nervous when she sees her mother crossing the street. This momentary thing in the movie lens is stretched out. It not only requires the actor's expression and eye contact to be delicate but also includes some physical reactions in certain states.
After completing her identity performance, Gu Xizhi inadvertently raised her head to look at the camera, lowered her head, and then quickly raised it again. Her pupils shrank slightly, and the relaxed expression on her face suddenly disappeared.
With a subtle expression, the viewer suddenly understood that she was frightened by something.
After this expression, Gu Xizhi glanced at the camera, making it look like she was observing something. Soon she frowned and opened her lips slightly, as if she wanted to shout something.
At that moment, her movements seemed confused, her hands clearly didn't know where to go, the lines on her face appeared tense due to her anxious emotions, and the mood of the people seemed to be tense along with her emotions.
The expression lasted for several seconds before changing to a shocked expression with pupils shrinking again. Everyone already knew that by this time the character's mother had been hit by a car.
Considering her previous performances in the earlier scenes, her acting appeared just as convincing as those of the actors who had previously delivered good performances. Therefore, this final crucial scene raised high expectations.
The so-called highlight is of course the last crying scene.
For an ordinary person, if their mother suddenly died in front of them, their emotions should be one of shock, confusion, and disbelief, followed by a frenzy of pain or an unusual silence. The people on set watched Gu Xizhi, seemingly prepared for her to break down in portraying the emotions of the character's virtual loss and hearing her cry.
Indeed, the normal way to perform in this situation is to find your mother, stand next to her, and try your best to express your pain using facial expression changes, lines, and big tears, making the character's emotions visibly apparent and deeply moving to the audience.
This is the essence of the experiential acting technique. Whatever role you want to play, you have to deeply understand the heart of that character. Feel it, and then bring everything about the character to the audience.
Everyone thought that Gu Xizhi should act this way and believed she could do it well. They all knew that at this moment, the character should be extremely sad.
But Gu Xizhi didn't do this.
Under the gaze of everyone, she turned to face the camera.
Everyone was stunned.
"What is she doing?"
"Is she still acting?"
"It doesn't look like acting, but she's not stopping, and the director hasn't stopped her."
"The atmosphere was so well set up before, but now it's suddenly off track. I don't understand."
Someone whispered.
Scarlett Li looked at the camera quietly.
Gu Xizhi faced the camera for a few seconds and then used her mental acting to consistently depict the process of her eyes gradually reddening, her eyes becoming moist, and tears falling.
Some people seemed to be moved and enlightened by her performance, but they couldn't quite put it into words.
At the same time, her body began to tremble, and her breathing seemed a bit labored, clearly appearing as if she were about to faint.
"Cut."
Scarlett Li shouted stop before she fell.
Gu Xizhi immediately stopped performing.
Scarlett Li nodded to indicate that it was okay, and then said to the staff, "Next."
The staff showed Gu Xizhi the way, and she bowed to Scarlett Li before leaving the set.
Scarlett Li took advantage of the change of actors and turned to the assistant director and said, "What were you thinking when she broke character just now?"
"As a director, I was thinking about why she thought of acting like this. As an audience, I was thinking about the communication she conveyed to me outside of the role. I thought about how I would feel if I encountered something like this."
“But a lot of people may find it baffling."
"I believe there are plenty who can appreciate this. This way of expression brings much more meaningful contemplation than simply pouring emotions into the realm of fantasy drama."
Scarlett Li turned her head and smiled. Her pretty short hair made her look smarter, "So, you're the assistant director of this film."
***
This translation is originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.
It has been cloudy and snowy for the past few days. The weather which was covered with dark clouds during the day became a bit worse at night. The howling north wind broke the fragile branches on the street. There was light snow in the sky, which fell on the wet ground and quickly disappeared.
It had been snowing for two nights, and a thick layer of pure white had accumulated on the houses and trees. Gu Xizhi was sitting in the living room watching TV, with her right hand still holding her phone even though it was in her pocket.
Advertisements kept playing on the TV, but she didn't seem to notice, her eyes always focused on the large display on the screen.
A sudden, urgent phone ringing sounded, and Gu Xizhi took out her phone, answered it, and placed it by her ear. "Director Tian."
"We have results, and it could be considered good news," the voice of Tian Yulan appeared on the other end of the phone. "The role of Yun Xiaoxiao indeed went to a newcomer, a 20-year-old university student. Scarlett Li has chosen two people for the role of Qin Shiyu, one being you and the other being She Jia, who gained fame from a palace drama. According to her assistant, She Jia was arranged by the investors and wasn't Scarlett Li's first choice. But Scarlett Li is quite satisfied with She Jia and is contemplating it. The concern now is that the investors might exert pressure."
Gu Xizhi was a little depressed, "How can investors interfere with the producer and director's selection of roles?"
"This is the general situation in the industry at the moment. I asked around and found out that the investor this time is also a film company established in the past two years. It has only invested in two movies before. It only has a certain financial strength to cooperate with Scarlett Li. The President of this film company is named Lu, and I tried to approach him through connections, but he's very hard to deal with. He doesn't even want money. I feel that it's quite troublesome to deal with him."
Gu Xizhi pondered for a moment. "What's the relationship between She Jia and him?"
"Don't think about that. It's not easy to have a producer and director as reputable as Scarlett Li this time. Do you really want to send yourself into the lion's den of the investors?"
"Then..." Gu Xizhi hesitated, "As you said, is there any other way?"
"To be honest, I find it quite puzzling too," Tian Yulan sighed. "I only found out about this Huaxing Film Company when I looked at the information. It's actually a subsidiary of Huatian Group. The chairman of Huatian Group is Qu Tingxiang, an entrepreneur who started a diamond business. For so many years, he has been exclusively focused on the diamond business, even when the real estate business was booming. I was curious why he established a film company, so I did some more research. It turns out his daughter is the renowned Golden Tripod Best Actress, Qu Xizhi."
Gu Xizhi furrowed her brow, and her expression became somewhat complicated.
"I do know Qu Xizhi to some extent. She's known for helping people. I was thinking, if she could talk to Qu Tingxiang on my behalf, the Lu family might not want to offend the chairman of the group for the sake of a woman. However, when I called her in the evening, she politely declined my request, saying that the group never interfered with the operations of its subsidiary companies. I'm really puzzled... Is it true that you have a feud with her as the rumors suggest?"
Gu Xizhi held the phone and didn't know what to say for a moment.
Tian Youlan added, "It's not easy for you to be retained by Scarlett Li among so many people, even if the possibility of missing the opportunity is only 1%. There are three ways now. The first is to find someone named Lu, but I think there's 90% he's a pervert. The second is to approach Scarlett Li, but she's still considering the role. Going to her now might irritate her. The third is to contact Qu Xizhi. However, if you indeed have a feud, let's forget I mentioned this."
Gu Xizhi thought for a long time before saying, "Let me think about it."
Even when the weather was freezing, there were still many people undeterred by the harsh weather along the riverbank.
There were people on the bridge using cameras to capture the snowy scene at night, and there were also sad people drinking wine by the bridge despite the severe cold. Most of them were couples quietly enjoying themselves. Feeling the windy and snowy night quietly.
The snow fell quietly, and the enchanting snowflakes confused the whole world. Gu Xizhi sat in the car, quietly gazing at the night view by the river. Despite the car's ample heating, the place still felt bone-chilling.
The assistant has been accompanying her to watch the night view here for half an hour. Although this place made her feel romantic at first, no matter how beautiful the place was, it would still be annoying to watch it for half an hour without doing anything.
The time had just reached nine-thirty in the evening. The assistant looked at her watch and said to Gu Xizhi, "Miss Gu, can we go?"
Gu Xizhi slowly withdrew her gaze from the river, looked up at her assistant's hopeful expression, and said, "Go to Dongpu Road."
"Okay." Hearing they were leaving this place, the assistant suddenly felt content going anywhere.
The car arrived at No. 99 Dongpu Road. Gu Xizhi sat in the car and told her assistant, "Don't say anything later. Just follow me in."
The assistant didn't know what she was going to do, she just thought it was very novel and nodded her head.
Gu Xizhi wrapped a scarf around her neck, opened the car door, and stepped out.
The address of Qu Xizhi's house was easy to remember, and with the confirmation of the house number being No.99 and the lights on inside, Gu Xizhi stood at the door without hesitation and rang the doorbell.
The doorbell rang only once before she heard footsteps approaching to open the door. Gu Xizhi's expression was somewhat serious as the door opened, but when she saw the person who opened it, she instantly relaxed.
"I'm sorry to bother you and ask you to see me so late. I have something I want to talk to you about."
After Qu Xizhi opened the door, she looked at her and then at the girl behind her, "You're making your assistant work so late with you. Won't she complain?"
The assistant immediately shook her head. Gu Xizhi glanced at her assistant, then turned her attention back to Qu Xizhi and said, "It's better for her to accompany me here at this hour."
Qu Xizhi looked at her assistant and opened the door slowly, "Then come in."
Gu Xizhi took a few steps into the house and was immediately greeted by a fluffy puppy. Paying little attention to the dog, Gu Xizhi glanced around the room. Not seeing anyone else on the first floor, she asked Qu Xizhi, "Is Miss Zhong upstairs?"
Qu Xizhi came out from the kitchen, set up a tea set, and didn't respond to her question for a while. She placed the tea set in its position before finally saying, "She's at a fashion show, she won't be back until next week."
Gu Xizhi only then focused her attention on the puppy and asked, "What kind of dog is this that you're raising?"
"It's a stray dog I found," Qu Xizhi said, pouring three cups of tea and motioning for Gu Xizhi's assistant to sit.
After the little assistant saw Qu Xizhi, she was a little confused about the direction of things. Now she only feels that it's not right to stand or sit down, and she's very nervous.
Gu Xizhi looked at her and then turned her gaze back to Qu Xizhi. "You don't have to be so polite. Since I'm here, I'll be straightforward with you." After a brief pause, she looked Qu Xizhi in the eyes and continued, "I want to act in Scarlett Li's new movie."
Qu Xizhi put down the tea set and said in a nonchalant tone, "Then you should be going to Scarlett Li about that."
"You know what I mean by looking for you."
"I don't think you appreciate my interference in your life, hindering your talents."
"Of course, you can be a complete bystander." Gu Xizhi's tone suddenly became less calm than before.“But at least don’t give me any stumbling blocks."
Qu Xizhi looked at her silently for a few seconds, then suddenly smirked sarcastically. "So, you believe that the Huaxing Film Company is actually under my control, and the President, Lu Zhenyou, follows my orders? You think I recommended She Jia to Scarlett Li on purpose, made your casting process difficult, and sought revenge on you intentionally?"
Gu Xizhi looked away and said nothing.
"I'm truly sorry if I made you feel that way," Qu Xizhi chuckled softly. "I admit that my father's decision to establish a film company was due to my strong persuasion. I also acknowledge that I facilitated Huaxing's investment in Scarlett Li's film. However, my father has always believed in specialization in one's field. He thought that Huaxing's current President, Lu Zhenyou, could manage the company much better than me. So, I've always known very little about the company's operational matters. I couldn't have imagined that an investor would interfere with the director's casting decisions. You must understand that I was once an actress and couldn't engage in such unethical actions against the industry's rules."
Gu Xizhi lowered her gaze, but after a moment she looked up and said unwillingly, "But I don't think you, a dignified young lady of the Qu family, can't do anything to the president of a subsidiary company of your own group. You are simply trying to dismiss Tian Youlan."
"Yes." Qu Xizhi did not deny it, "I was perfunctory with her. If I wasn't perfunctory with her, how could you be here now?"
She didn't hide anything at all. This made Gu Xizhi somewhat agitated, "You clearly didn't want to see me, but you made me come here. What are you trying to do?"
"What do you think?" Qu Xizhi retorted.
Gu Xizhi looked at her, as if not daring to believe, her expression especially disappointed.
The little assistant standing aside had already been dumbfounded. Now the two of them were facing each other, and there was a peculiar and eerie atmosphere in the air. She suddenly felt that...if she didn't leave, she would die without a burial place if she knew too much.
"I...I'm sorry, my boyfriend is sick and waiting for me in the hospital, so I'll leave now." She quickly turned and opened the door to escape.
The sound of the door closing rang out. Gu Xizhi calmed her emotions for a moment, then gathered her courage to raise her head and look at her. "I don't mind being compared to She Jia, but I at least need a fair environment. You tell me, what do you want?"
"Stay tonight," Qu Xizhi's gaze fell lightly on her, and she said it casually.
Gu Xizhi seemed like she hadn't heard clearly, or maybe she didn't understand, "What did you say?"
"You heard me."
Gu Xizhi frowned, as if she couldn't believe it, but quickly put all her expression aside and smiled sarcastically, then turned and walked towards the door.
"What are you in a hurry for?" Qu Xizhi walked up behind her. "I'll ask you one question. Why didn't you go to Lu Zhenyou but came to me?"
Gu Xizhi stopped and curled her lips, smiling weakly, "Originally, I thought that even if we couldn't even be friends, you could at least treat me like a stranger. When Tian Youlan told me that you refused to help, I wondered why you were so indifferent to me. Even if you have no connection to Huaxing, even if you know nothing about She Jia's situation, you wouldn't be so unfeeling towards a stranger, but you are especially antagonistic towards me. I want to know why."
"Like this," Qu Xizhi looked at her retreating figure, her voice nonchalant, "Do you understand now?"
"I understand," Gu Xizhi's voice sounded somewhat numb. She turned to look at Qu Xizhi, her expression very calm. "I'm sorry for getting so emotional earlier. In the beginning, I thought maybe it was because of something I did wrong that made you dislike me. I even wanted to have a good conversation with you to ease any resentment. But now it seems that's not necessary. You just want to humiliate me. Of course, this humiliation has nothing to do with resentment, as resentment is typically based on caring, and you've long hated me."
Qu Xizhi looked directly into her eyes with her eyes lowered, and after a while, she said, "Wonderful conclusion." She smiled, her expression was indifferent, "Yes, I have hated you very much for a long time.
Her eyes felt a bit dry, and Gu Xizhi clutched her clothes, maintaining a calm tone. "Let's pretend I never came tonight. Forgive me for humiliating myself. Please forget about the movie too." She strode quickly towards the door.
"Gu Xizhi." Qu Xizhi glanced at her back, "I'll ask you again, why didn't you go to Lu Zhenyou but came to me?"
Gu Xizhi looked at the thick night outside the window and said slowly, "I have said everything that needs to be said. I'm already like this, please let me go."
Her thin figure blended into the wind and snow, gradually disappearing into the darkness.
….
In the evening.
Times Media 27th floor.
"Mr. Lin, why don't I treat you to a meal tonight? You invite Mr. Lu over, and let's go together... hello, hello?"
The phone was hung up. Tian Youlan looked at the hung up phone and thought for a moment before standing up and packing her things, "Never mind, since Director Li is conflicted between you and She Jia, we will go directly to the producer."
Several days had passed since the actors' auditions, and today was the day when Scarlett Li would give her decision. However, the information Tian Youlan had received from her assistant earlier was that Scarlett Li intended to choose either Gu Xizhi or She Jia. This news brought both joy and worry and at this moment, Tian Youlan couldn't sit still any longer.
After hearing this, Gu Xizhi stood up from the sofa. After walking a few steps, Tian Youlan's phone rang again.
"Hello." Tian Youlan answered the call while picking up her bag to head towards the door. She hadn't passed the sofa when she stopped and looked at Gu Xizhi's back. "Really?"
Gu Xizhi turned to look at her.
Tian Youlan, who was listening to the phone, seemed to be in a good mood, "Oh, really." Her tone was very polite, "That's great, thank you for telling me the good news. I will treat you to dinner another day."
"Okay, okay, thank you."
After hanging up the phone, Tian Youlan looked at Gu Xizhi in silence for a while, and then smiled at Gu Xizhi inexplicably, "She Jia voluntarily gave up the lead role in this drama and chose to play a supporting actress. Is this because God opened her eyes?"
Gu Xizhi frowned, "Why?"
"I don't know." Tian Youlan shrugged, her eyes full of smiles, "The news just now said that Scarlett Li has already finalized the cast and confirmed that you and the new actor, Sun Xi, will receive one month of training in musical instruments and dance. You'll soon receive Scarlett Li's notice."
Gu Xizhi was probably too surprised, so she still asked, "Is it true?"
Tian Youlan smiled and patted her shoulder, "Get ready."
Snowflakes fell freely in the sky, and the soft, feather-like snowflakes were tinted with a gentle color by the dim streetlights.
Gu Xizhi looked up at the falling snowflakes outside the floor-to-ceiling glass window and said to Tian Youlan beside her, "Director Tian, it's March now."
Tian Youlan smiled and said, "Yes, it still snows in March.
Gu Xizhi looked at the snowflakes quietly, "This is the last snow this year."
