Chapter 97
Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=1363950 This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com
After Qin Teng and Shi Yunyang left, the living room became spacious again.
"Qin Wanshu, why does every word you say move me?" Zuo Qinghuan leaned her head on Qin Wanshu's thigh, enjoying this intimate posture.
"Silly." Qin Wanshu caressed Zuo Qinghuan's face resting on her thigh. Zuo Qinghuan's features were elegant, with bright eyes always carrying a hopeful gleam. Buddha said, "Five hundred glances in exchange for this life's fleeting encounter." What kind of connections from past lives brought about the companionship of this life?
"Qin Wanshu, I want to become better." Zuo Qinghuan felt a strong desire in her heart. She wanted to improve herself and soar together with Qin Wanshu. She knew she was just a butterfly emerging from a caterpillar, while Qin Wanshu was an eagle. It might seem audacious for a butterfly to pursue an eagle, but perhaps one day the butterfly's wings could stir up a whirlwind.
"You will." Qin Wanshu nodded with a smile. Zuo Qinghuan possessed an incomparable ability: the ability to self-improve and learn, always striving to change the status quo, full of vibrant vitality.
"I'm serious." Zuo Qinghuan looked earnestly at Qin Wanshu.
"I know. Zuo Qinghuan has always been excellent in my eyes." Zuo Qinghuan had been diligently studying, like learning tea appreciation, from initially knowing nothing to now being able to discern several types of tea. This progress was evident. Sometimes, Qin Wanshu feared Zuo Qinghuan's rapid progress. Dependence on someone stronger stems from weakness. But once she becomes strong, this dependence might diminish. So Qin Wanshu didn't teach Zuo Qinghuan too much, preferring to maintain the feeling of being relied upon.
"Qin Wanshu, I don't like feeling small in their eyes. It makes me feel terrible, like I'm a vine entwined around you, absorbing your nutrients." Zuo Qinghuan expressed her melancholy.
"People are accustomed to judging others by their own values. If they are not a fish how could they know the joy of a fish? They are not me, so they have no right to speak. I'm fine as long as you think I'm good enough." Qin Wanshu comforted her.
Zuo Qinghuan laughed. If Qin Wanshu lived in ancient times, she would surely be a talented orator like Su Qin, with her eloquence and persuasive power spanning six kingdoms.
"Qin Wanshu, you're so amazing." Zuo Qinghuan sincerely exclaimed.
"Ji Shengzi raised fighting roosters for the emperor. After ten days, the emperor asked, 'Are the roosters ready for battle?' He said, 'Not yet, they are still arrogant and relying on their strength.' Ten days later, he asked again, and he said, 'Not yet, they are still responding to the scenery.'"
Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=1363950 This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com
"After ten more days, he asked again, and he said, 'Not yet. They still glare fiercely and are full of arrogance.' Ten days later, he asked again, and he said, 'It's almost time. Although the roosters may crow, they have no change. They appear like wooden roosters, their virtue complete. Other roosters dare not respond and instead flee.' Qin Wanshu suddenly told a story to Zuo Qinghuan."*
*From 齊物論 (Qí wù lùn/Equality of Things), the second chapter of 莊子 (Zhuangzi) - a collection of Taoist doctrines written by Zhuangzi and his disciples
"Huh?" Zuo Qinghuan didn't quite understand the meaning of this ancient text.
"When one reaches a certain level, that is a state of strong spirit. Once one's spirit is strong, they have nothing to fear. You'll understand in the future." Qin Wanshu had a broad knowledge of ancient studies, but she especially admired Taoism, advocating the use of Tao to control techniques.
Zuo Qinghuan listened with partial understanding.
….
"Qin Teng, what do I lack compared to Zuo Qinghuan?" Shi Yunyang came out, still dissatisfied, asking Qin Teng. What's the big deal about not understanding? Love isn't everything.
"You excel in everything compared to Zuo Qinghuan, except for one thing. You can't give my sister what she wants." Shi Yunyang was good in every aspect, except she lacked a heart. Such a woman, who spent her whole life not understanding what love is, might never make the giving party happy.
"What does she want?" Shi Yunyang frowned.
"Selfless love." Although Zuo Qinghuan's match with her sister was somewhat forced, she still genuinely loved her sister. At least she was a woman her sister could easily control.
"Ha, selfless love. Qin Teng, I don't know why, but hearing these words from your mouth feels particularly ridiculous." Shi Yunyang left these words behind, stepped on the accelerator harshly, and left Qin Teng. Shi Yunyang was in a bad mood. Although she was used to being heartless and playing games with love, being told this by Qin Wanshu was one thing, but who was Qin Teng to say such things?
Qin Teng's face turned pale.
….
"Don't you think our destinies are surprisingly similar?" Li Xin patted the shoulder of the absent-minded Zuo Qinghuan and asked.
"Hm?" Zuo Qinghuan was somewhat dazed.
"We were both mistresses, then not mistresses, and we liked people who divorced almost at the same time. Now we both live happily together. Our destinies seem oddly similar." Li Xin felt she must have a connection with Zuo Qinghuan from their past lives. Otherwise, how could they meet in this life and have such similar life experiences?
"I didn't notice, but now that you mention it, it does seem like that." Zuo Qinghuan nodded. However, she felt that Li Xin and Yan Ruown's path might be a bit easier. They didn't have external conflicts like her and Qin Wanshu. Although she had internal and external worries, they were one-sided.
"Qin Wanshu gives everything for you, so why do you still have this anxious look?" Li Xin couldn't help but envy Zuo Qinghuan and Qin Wanshu. At least they had mutual feelings, unlike her, Yan Ruowen felt as dense as wood, only just showing signs of awakening.
"She's just too good, that's why I'm afraid. If one day, she'll find me not good enough. How can I make myself better?" Zuo Qinghuan asked Li Xin.
"When you were climbing the Himalayas that is Qin Wanshu, you didn't seem afraid. Why are you feeling inferior now?" Li Xin raised an eyebrow in response. After recently interacting with Qin Wanshu a few times, she increasingly felt the woman's excellence and strength. Even Yan Ruowen, who was usually very clueless about women, couldn't stop praising her, showing how extraordinary she was. Spending time with such a woman day in and day out would naturally create pressure and feelings of inferiority for Zuo Qinghuan. Li Xin completely understood. Such a woman was clearly not meant to be loved but admired.
"This is this and that is that." How can the mindset at the beginning be compared to now? Back then, it was just a mischievous intention to tease the sexually indifferent Qin Wanshu. Who knew it would entangle her so deeply? Truly, it's a self-made disaster, but Zuo Qinghuan doesn't regret meeting Qin Wanshu at all.
"As long as Qin Wanshu likes you, nothing else matters." Li Xin saw love issues as relatively simple. In her view, mutual affection was all that mattered; everything else was not a problem.
"Do you and Yan Ruowen have common topics, common interests?" Zuo Qinghuan asked.
"Common topics, what are those? Common interests, does bedroom activities count?" It's not easy for Ruowen, that workaholic, to have some time to spend with her temporarily, especially since she doesn't have much free time after returning to work as a doctor. Li Xin is someone with a head full of messy ideas, occasionally trying to add some romance to the relationship with the wooden block Yan. Although the wooden block’s reaction now is much better than before, she still falls far short of the standard of a normal woman. The news says there will be shooting stars tonight; it would be so romantic if they could make wishes together under the shooting stars. However, with Ruowen's severe lack of romantic spirit, she probably won't accompany her to the mountains to watch the shooting stars and stargaze…
"Alright, asking you is just a waste of time. Your brain's depth probably only knows about romance and leisure." Indeed, it was a mistake to ask Li Xin. Her brain is filled with all sorts of nonsense, yet she manages to be a top doctor; it's truly unfair.
"You'd better overcome your own psychology. If you can't, your pressure will only increase, and unequal feelings can sometimes be very painful." Li Xin patted Zuo Qinghuan's shoulder again. The gap is there; unless it can be reduced, it's better not to dwell on it selectively. Otherwise, these negative emotions will sooner or later be transmitted to the other party, and over time, they will also feel annoyed. It might not be easy for Zuo Qinghuan to overcome her inner demons, but outsiders can't really help. She'll have to overcome them on her own.
"I know," Zuo Qinghuan sighed softly.
"How did you manage to anger your grandfather again?" Lin Jingxian asked her eldest son, Qin Yu, who is usually sensible.
"Grandpa suddenly asked me what complex seal script was engraved on that antique seal. I'm not like Wanshu, who has been interested in these things since childhood, so I couldn't recognize it." Qin Yu also felt extremely innocent. Besides Wanshu, he was his grandfather's most beloved grandson. Lately, he had been called to his grandfather's study every other day to look at antiques. His scalp was numb by now. Qin Yu felt that if his precious sister didn't come back soon, he would be driven crazy by his grandfather. Grandpa couldn't do without Wanshu. The so-called kindred spirits are hard to find, and for the sake of this kindred spirit, Qin Yu felt that it was only a matter of time before his grandfather compromised. Wanshu probably anticipated this early on. Among the few people in the Qin family who knew about it, they all remained silent about Wanshu's matters. They neither supported nor opposed. In fact, the Qin family was quite open-minded.
Sure enough, it was for this reason that he got angry again. Her father-in-law had been angry more times recently than he had been in all the years she had been married into the Qin family. She only hoped that Wanshu can come back soon.
Author's Note:
"Ji Shengzi raised fighting roosters for the emperor. After ten days, the emperor asked, 'Are the roosters ready for battle?' He said, 'Not yet, they are still arrogant and relying on their strength.' Ten days later, he asked again, and he said, 'Not yet, they are still responding to the scenery.'"
"After ten more days, he asked again, and he said, 'Not yet. They still glare fiercely and are full of arrogance.' Ten days later, he asked again, and he said, 'It's almost time. Although the roosters may crow, they have no change. They appear like wooden roosters, their virtue complete. Other roosters dare not respond and instead flee.' - an excerpt from Zhuangzi; motionless wooden rooster
