Chapter 5: Ponder
Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=5821232
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com
Lin Qingyi ignored Bai Wenxi's astonished expression. In fact, she also felt that she had been somewhat emotional in handling things today, but she did not feel regretful. Her thoughts still lingered on Qin Shiyue. She wondered if Qin Shiyue, often mocked for being a vase who lacks acting skills, was still not used to it. Was she really so easily flustered by her? Or was it that her role as a rival made Qin Shiyue particularly sensitive?
Qin Shiyue took several deep breaths to calm herself down. When she finally stepped out of the dance floor and looked around, she could not find Kong Huizhi’s figure anywhere. Qin Shiyue instantly felt dejected. She suddenly felt like a joke, competing with others like a rooster over a woman, only to lose and end up embarrassed and pathetic. She had tried to gain a little attention from Kong Huizhi but seemed completely irrelevant. She was left like a fool, vainly performing her solo act.
Qin Shiyue's fighting spirit and pride had both been extinguished, leaving her wilted like a withered flower.
"Let's go back," she said. Everything at the banquet had lost its charm, and Qin Shiyue no longer wished to stay.
"Alright, I will say goodbye to Sister Xiran, and then we can head back." Qin Shiyue's manager, Fang Xinhua, had never agreed with Qin Shiyue attending today's charity ball. She felt that since Qin Shiyue was divorced, it was better to avoid her ex-wife whenever possible; otherwise, the sadness was only her own. When one is unloved, no matter how much you do, it would be in vain.
Fang Xinhua was the manager specially hired by Qin Shilan for her younger sister. She was ten years older than Qin Shiyue, had strong public relations skills, a steady personality, and handled matters methodically. All the major resources Qin Shiyue had at her disposal were carefully checked by her before being accepted.
Qin Shiyue's popularity relied not only on the resources provided by Qin Shilan but also on the effective operations of her reliable manager, Fang Xinhua.
Since Qin Shiyue arrived at this banquet, Fang Xinhua had been somewhat on edge, fearing that Qin Shiyue might do something irrational for Kong Huizhi and end up on the hot searches as a public laughingstock the next day. Fortunately, Qin Shiyue remained rational, and tonight passed without incident.
But just dancing with Lin Qingyi alone would probably land them a new hot search. For Shiyue, such a hot search was not a bad thing. However, for Lin Qingyi, who always had an excellent reputation, associating with Shiyue was not a wise move. Fang Xinhua was quite surprised that Lin Qingyi would dance with Qin Shiyue.
Speaking of which, the manager Fang Xinhua envied most in the industry was Bai Wenxi. An artist like Lin Qingyi, who cherished her reputation, had no scandals and had high standards and pursuits, was the best and most worry-free to manage. She rarely engaged in hype yet remained very popular, with many loyal fans and good public appeal. This was unique in the entertainment industry.
Her little master was a typical example of being popular despite negative publicity. The main issue was her lack of professional competence, which was the root of the criticism she faced. Her acting skills were always ridiculed. However, her exceptional looks made her highly resilient in the entertainment industry, maintaining a high level of popularity with countless fans who adored her appearance. Additionally, being a wealthy and beautiful woman, she was accustomed to wearing various high-end luxury brands from a young age, effortlessly carrying them off. This made her a favorite of major luxury brands due to her strong ability to drive sales. As a result, she held many high-quality endorsements and was very lucrative, making acting seem more like a side job to maintain her popularity.
With her little flower's strong earning power, Fang Xinhua enjoyed the benefits but had to constantly monitor her little flower's public image. She ensured that necessary hot searches were addressed, and those that needed to be removed were done so promptly. Fang Xinhua knew that some negative points could exist, but there could not be any fatal, principle-based flaws. Therefore, the most criticized points about Qin Shiyue were her poor acting skills and being the number one vase in the entertainment industry. Other criticisms were minor and insignificant.
After Fang Xinhua said goodbye to the hostess of the banquet, they left the charity ball.
In the nanny car, Qin Shiyue was unusually downcast, which worried Fang Xinhua. Qin Shiyue was the type whose emotions came and went quickly, but at this moment, her mood was even lower than before they arrived. Such a depressed state was rare, and the divorce from Kong Huizhi had taken a significant toll on her.
When Fang Xinhua first learned that Qin Shiyue agreed to divorce Kong Huizhi, she was quite happy, thinking that she had finally let go. It was not that Kong Huizhi was bad; having had limited interactions with her, Fang Xinhua's impression of Kong Huizhi was actually quite good. She was beautiful, gentle, and gracious. The only downside was that Kong Huizhi did not love Qin Shiyue. Love cannot be forced, and it was better to let go than to force it.
"Are you okay?" Fang Xinhua gently patted Qin Shiyue's shoulder and asked with concern.
Qin Shiyue shook her head. She knew that her mood could not be resolved by others, and talking about it would only add to their burden. She thought she had been sad enough the past few days but realized she could still feel even sadder.
"I will push back your schedule. Take a few days off and have a proper rest." Qin Shiyue no longer needed her elder sister to provide resources, as many good opportunities and projects now came to her on their own. Even though Fang Xinhua carefully selected and filtered out many jobs for her, Qin Shiyue still had a considerable workload due to her high popularity. Fortunately, Fang Xinhua's scheduling allowed her ample time for each project. This was because Qin Shiyue had little ambition, and she had a highly capable and doting elder sister. Compared to other female stars with similar fame, her career was more like a leisure mode.
Qin Shilan had once instructed Fang Xinhua, "If Shiyue wants to take on work, let her. If she doesn't, it's fine. As long as she's happy."
Fang Xinhua often felt that, rather than just being Qin Shiyue's manager, she was more like a half-nanny hired by Qin Shilan to keep her younger sister happy. But she had to admit, Boss Qin truly adored her sister, almost treating her like a daughter.
Qin Shiyue nodded, knowing she wouldn't be in the mood to work for the next few days.
Just as she thought of Boss Qin, Fang Xinhua received a text from Qin Shilan.
[Keep an eye on Shiyue's mood and comfort her,] Qin Shilan, noticing her sister's early departure from the event due to low spirits, texted her sister's manager with instructions.
[Don't worry, Boss Qin, I'll take good care of her.] Fang Xinhua immediately replied.
Qin Shiyue did not go back to her parents' house but instead went to the house that her sister had given her when she married Kong Huizhi.
The place was empty; this "home" had never felt like a home. She knew Kong Huizhi would probably never come back.
"I'll stay with you," Fang Xinhua said, seeing Qin Shiyue blankly staring at the sofa in the living room. She felt uneasy and thought it was better to stay with her.
"No, you can go back first. I want to be alone for a while. I promise I will be fine," Qin Shiyue said. She thought that she was merely sad and wouldn’t fall into despair over someone who did not love her. It was not worth it. She had to accept the reality that Kong Huizhi did not love her and would never come to love her.
"Then call me anytime if you need anything or want to talk," Fang Xinhua said, thinking that Qin Shiyue might indeed need solitude. Kong Huizhi's desire for a divorce had not been sudden, and she believed Qin Shiyue had been somewhat prepared for this day, so she wouldn’t be completely unable to cope.
Qin Shiyue nodded.
"Then I will leave first," Fang Xinhua said, though still somewhat concerned. However, when it came to matters of the heart, unless one came to terms with it, others could do little to help.
Qin Shiyue nodded again.
After Fang Xinhua left, Qin Shiyue buried her face in her hands. Now that she was alone, she finally allowed herself to cry and feel the sadness.
This was the third time Kong Huizhi had proposed a divorce. She had rejected the previous two, but this time her pride forced her to agree. As she recalled Kong Huizhi’s words, her heart still ached as if pricked by needles.
"Shiyue, my feelings for you as a sister won’t change. I hope you can have your own life and pursuits, rather than making your pursuit of me your entire life," Kong Huizhi had earnestly advised Qin Shiyue. She felt that Qin Shiyue did not truly love her but had merely turned loving her into a habit. Without other pursuits in her life, she had made Kong Huizhi her sole goal.
Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=5821232
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com
"I have been working hard and taking on many jobs. I didn’t make you my whole life…" Qin Shiyue instinctively defended herself.
"Do you really like your work? Have you truly put your best effort into it? What are your interests and hobbies? Besides pursuing me, what have you persistently worked towards? Besides your looks, what else are you proud of?" Kong Huizhi asked Qin Shiyue several questions in a row. She didn’t want Qin Shiyue to focus on her anymore. She hoped Qin Shiyue would make efforts for her own life instead of living aimlessly.
Qin Shiyue could not answer any of the questions.
The questions seemed to reflect Kong Huizhi’s disdain and disapproval. Qin Shiyue began to take these thoughts seriously and felt increasingly fearful and anxious as she pondered them.
Author's Note:
The vase will counterattack in the future.
