Chapter 77: I Just Want To Apologize On Behalf Of My Mother
Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=3614052
This translation is originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.
When the Young Master was in a good mood, her adorable and clever appearance was no different from that of an ordinary family's little girl, looking as if she were gentle and easy to bully.
But when the Young Master was in a bad mood, the ferocity and murderous aura around her were enough to make people shudder with fear.
Even He Ziyi, her own father, was momentarily stunned by her, unable to react for a moment.
Beside him, Madame Liu, after being slapped by Meng Chang'an, suddenly came to her senses. How could she, in a fit of anger, forget that this little devil was not only He Ziyi's daughter but also the Young Master of the Demonic Sect?
Madame Liu felt deeply annoyed and could not help but cover her cheek as she looked pitifully at He Ziyi beside her. Yet, to her surprise, she saw that he showed no concern for her injury and still kept his gaze fixed on Meng Chang'an.
That deep and sorrowful expression in his eyes seemed as if he were looking through the person before him, thinking of someone else.
After so many years of maintaining a courteous but distant marriage, how could Madame Liu not guess the source of the pain in He Ziyi's eyes? How could she not realize who he was thinking of at this moment?
At this point, Madame Liu could no longer contain the anger burning in her heart. She dared not provoke the Young Master Meng, who was brimming with murderous intent, so she could only vent her frustration on the silent He Ziyi.
“Look at the things your precious daughter is saying! Fine, I have no right to interfere with what happens between her and her mother, but do they have the right to harm and humiliate you? Is it that you, He Ziyi, owe them mother and daughter something by fate? That mother disregarded ethics and hurt you back then, and now her daughter wants to harm your son. Are you just going to sit by and do nothing? He Ziyi, when did you become such a coward?”
Bringing up past events tore open the wounds buried deep in everyone’s hearts—wounds that could never truly heal.
When Meng Chang'an saw the pain on He Ziyi's face that he could no longer conceal, most of the anger in her heart dissipated, leaving only a heavy sense of guilt.
"That is enough."
Not giving Madame Liu another chance to press aggressively, He Ziyi suppressed his voice and gave a low rebuke. He then turned his head and said to the dazed disciple beside him, "Ye Chi, take Changping back to the guest room to rest."
Ye Chi's slight drunkenness had long since been scared away during the tense confrontation between Madame Liu and the Young Master. Rarely seeing the Young Master lose her temper, he was momentarily unsure whether to leave or stay. Now that He Ziyi had spoken, Ye Chi felt relieved and quickly responded, "Yes, this disciple will take his leave at once."
Before the Madame could continue speaking, Ye Chi had already carried He Changping and fled as if escaping, afraid of being dragged into this conflict.
Upon realizing He Ziyi's intent to protect that little devil, Madame Liu's jealousy clouded her judgment. Remembering what the sect disciples had said about the Princess and that little devil being inseparable, some suspicions in Madame Liu's heart seemed to have solidified. Overwhelmed with anger, she could not help but seize the moment to stir trouble, raising her voice to angrily shout on the spot:
"He Ziyi! Are you not being far too biased? Chang'an is your daughter, but does that mean Changping is not your son? You favor her so much that you disregard ethics and completely ignore Changping's lifelong happiness?"
"Have you said enough? Since when did you become like a jealous shrew, fabricating nonsense out of thin air?"
He Ziyi suppressed the anger and irritation in his heart. After letting out a low growl, he slightly softened his tone and scolded, "Enough! Stop embarrassing yourself outside Her Highness’ room. Go back and rest now. Chang'an already said that Her Highness is resting and dislikes being disturbed. Can you stop this nonsense and avoid waking Her Highness? If you do not want the entire He family to be buried with you, do not bring up today's reckless words again."
It was only after He Ziyi's warning that Madame Liu realized how out of line her words and actions had been today.
Indeed, the one inside was, after all, a daughter of the Heavens. Serving a ruler was as dangerous as serving a tiger. How could they dare to assume the role of "parents" in front of the Princess?
After so much noise, there was still no movement from inside the room, nor had the lights been lit. While Madame Liu felt regretful, she also felt somewhat relieved. At least their loud argument had not disturbed the Princess, sparing her the humiliation of exposing their family's disgrace in front of the Princess. She merely gave Meng Chang'an a deep glance, said nothing more, and left with a swish of her sleeves.
After all, since Changping had already been taken elsewhere, what use would it be for her to stay here and rack her brain trying to enter the room?
"Girl, are you still angry?"
Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=3614052
This translation is originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.
After Madame Liu walked away, He Ziyi approached the door. He smiled faintly at Young Master Meng, who was now lowering her head in silence, fidgeting with her fingers. Gently patting her shoulder, he comforted her, "She has always been blunt. What she said just now were merely angry words spoken in the heat of the moment. Do not take them seriously or let them weigh on your mind."
Meng Chang'an could be angry at Madame Liu, but she could not bring herself to be angry at her father.
After all, he had already driven away his wife for her sake and stayed behind to comfort her, an "outsider." How could she possibly show him a cold face in return?
Thinking of this, Meng Chang'an finally lifted her head and, in a soft voice, asked He Ziyi, "Father, do you think it is wrong to like a woman?"
Perhaps it was the confusion and struggle in the Young Master's eyes at this moment, much like a confused child seeking answers. She looked to her elder for guidance, which made He Ziyi unable to dismiss her words as a joke or a simple question. He couldn't simply tell her whether it was right or wrong, as doing so would not ease the confusion in her eyes.
He Ziyi did not answer her directly. Instead, he gently coaxed, "Chang'an, how about you stay and talk with father for a while?"
The Young Master only hesitated for a moment before nodding in agreement, "Alright, but we cannot go too far. I promised to stay by Her Highness' side and cannot break my word."
He Ziyi did not force her. Instead, he led her to sit casually on the steps in the corridor and gazed up at the starry sky.
There were no dark clouds to obscure the night tonight. The sky was dotted with countless stars, making it the perfect time to enjoy the night view.
He Ziyi felt inadequate as a father. He had not accompanied his daughter through her growth, could not understand her thoughts, and had even neglected his son's feelings. His mind was constantly preoccupied with the endless disputes in the martial world, leaving him with little opportunity to sit down and have a proper conversation with his children.
At the banquet, Changping had told him that he and the Princess were merely in a sovereign-subject relationship. However, he had thought of it as drunken talk, assuming that there was some disagreement between the young couple. He even agreed to Madame Liu's foolish idea of getting Changping drunk and sending him back to the Princess' room first, hoping that the couple would quarrel at first but reconcile later in bed.
Who would have thought that it would end up angering Chang'an?
The banquet had yet to disperse, and the Princess' guards were still enjoying drinks at the table. For now, the small courtyard remained undisturbed, peaceful and quiet.
What happened between the siblings in the capital was unknown to He Ziyi, and he was also unaware of the events that took place between them and the Princess. Neither of the siblings seemed willing to open up to him, so to this day, he still had no idea what these children were up to.
However, some emotions were simply impossible to hide. No matter how little he understood his children, it wasn't difficult to sense something from the girl's expression.
He Ziyi didn't know where to begin. Thinking back on his own unforgettable experiences when he was young, he couldn't help but sigh lightly and absentmindedly ask, "Chang'an, how has your mother... been these past few years?"
Meng Chang'an did not expect him to ask about her mother as soon as he spoke. She paused for a moment, then quickly regained her composure, lowering her head as she replied, "Mm, she is doing well. You need not worry too much about her."
Upon hearing this, He Ziyi could not help but smile with relief and sighed, "That is good. I knew that only like this would she be a bit happier."
When the Young Master was little, everyone had thought of her as an ignorant child, and no one wanted to explain why her parents had separated.
Her parents had never spoken to her about the events of the past. Her master and aunt also refused to tell her about the relationship between her parents. Other godmothers and elders also kept silent about those unpleasant matters from the past. However, no matter how small a child is, they are always curious about their parents' affairs. Since no close elder was willing to tell her, she could only secretly gather bits and pieces of information about her parents' past through indirect hints from other insiders from the sect.
Complicated emotions cannot simply be divided into right or wrong, but in a child's world, there is only the simple distinction of right and wrong, good and bad. She did not understand those complex emotions. Moreover, she often witnessed the close relationship between her mother and that woman. As an uninformed child, she once believed that it was that woman who had broken apart her once-happy family. Over time, resentment grew and festered in her heart. Even after growing up and learning the truth, she could not help but still harbor resentment towards the two.
She had thought that she was not the only one, but also her father must have hated them. However, she never expected to see her father looking so pleased at this moment.
When the past was brought up again, it was the first time she saw her father's attitude so clearly. Amidst her surprise, the Young Master's emotions became incredibly complicated. However, she still forced herself to suppress the sadness and, following her thoughts, asked a question that had been buried in her heart for years: "Father... do you not hate mother?"
At this moment, He Zi'yi's gaze was still fixed on the starry sky, as if he was looking through the stars at the face he had long missed. He did not notice the complicated expression in the Young Master's eyes. He simply smiled calmly and asked in return, "Hate? Why would I hate her?"
"Just like... hate her for loving a woman, hate her for abandoning her husband and children..."
The child from back then had now grown into an adult. If no one taught her what love and affection were, it was inevitable that she would feel confused when encountering love and affection that she did not understand.
Just like when she earlier asked whether liking women was right or wrong, her confusion and helplessness were clear.
But matters of love and affection, how could they be explained by a simple right or wrong?
What kind of father he had been, he knew it himself, yet he still hoped to take this rare opportunity to truly be a father, to patiently teach his child, and to guide her well.
Even if the price was to uncover the deep wounds in his heart, what did it matter?
"Chang'an, do you know, back then your mother and I were brought together because of the grudges of the previous generation? She had someone in her heart, but because of those old grievances, she had no choice but to marry me. From the beginning, our union was never pure love. It was just a marriage formed out of interest. How could a false act become true? It was my fault for being foolish, lost in the illusion of mutual respect. I mistakenly believed that she might have feelings for me, and even foolishly hoped to turn the false act into something real, thus overlooking the pain in her heart..."
Thinking of this, He Ziyi could not help but let out a helpless sigh.
"Moreover, you and your brother were both born out of an accident. In fact, after parting ways with your mother, knowing that she still chose to bear you both, I was already deeply moved. How could I hate her? The fact that we met was already a rare fate. What we failed to have was simply that our bond was not yet complete. How could I dare to wish for a lifetime together? A melon that is forced to grow will not be sweet. Rather than forcing ourselves to endure mutual torment in the later years of our lives, it is better to part ways early, which would be good for both of us. Perhaps when we meet again, we can be like old friends, toasting and enjoying each other's company."
When He Ziyi first heard Meng Muxin being mentioned tonight, the pain that had been clearly visible on his face had long since dissipated, leaving only a light and gentle smile.
"So, you see, it does not matter whether a person loves a man or a woman, there is nothing wrong with it. The Buddhist teachings say all beings are born equal. No matter whether the person loved is a man or a woman, as long as the love is sincere, and no one is forced against their will, there is nothing wrong with it. Why is it that a man can love a woman, but a woman cannot? In love, whether the other person is a man or a woman is never the point. What matters is whether the fate between the two is strong enough. Moreover, who can control emotions? Your mother simply fell in love with a woman; in truth, she did nothing wrong. So, you should not be angry with your mother or that person for this anymore."
If that is the case, then what significance do the resentment toward her mother and the guilt toward her father hold after all these years?
She could not let go of the knot in her heart all these years, and she dared not continue the conversation on this topic. It was not until what he was saying stopped that she absentmindedly asked, "Then, if one day I end up loving a woman like my mother, would you be disappointed?"
Upon hearing this, only then did He ZiYi dare to confirm that Madame Liu's earlier guess was not groundless.
Seeing her being so honest, He Ziyi could not help but raise his hand to gently pat the Young Master's head, rubbing it lightly. He spoke in a soft tone, "Silly girl, what is there to be disappointed about? As long as it is someone you like, whether a man or woman, your father will always support you. However… you must understand, the people of the imperial family… are not someone we can provoke easily."
What He Ziyi said, Meng Chang'an also knew very well.
If in this life, she was not a man, no matter whether there was still some imaginary marital connection between the Princess and her elder brother, as long as she lived under the imperial land, she would certainly never obtain a legitimate title to stand by the Princess. After all, that old emperor was not as understanding as her father.
Meng Chang'an felt a sense of loss in her heart, but she did not show it. She only forced a smile and replied, "Father, you need not worry about this. I will not cause trouble for myself."
After saying this, without waiting for He Ziyi to say anything more, the Young Master had already let down her guard. She rested her head on He Ziyi's knee, acting as if they were an ordinary father and daughter. She lay there quietly for a moment before muttering softly,
"Father... I am sorry..."
He Ziyi was stunned for a moment by the Young Master's sudden apology, but he continued to gently caress her head, soothingly asking, "Silly girl, what do you have to apologize to me for?"
Meng Chang'an closed her eyes, hiding the unbearable moisture in her gaze. She whispered,
"I... I just want to apologize on behalf of my mother..."
The sorrow in her words seemed to penetrate through his knee and reach He Ziyi's heart.
With that, the smile at the corner of He Ziyi's mouth gradually faded, leaving behind only a deep bitterness.
"Silly girl, you do not owe me, and she does not owe me either. There is no need for an apology. As long as everyone is living better than before, that is enough."
Perhaps if this person had resentment or hatred, the Young Master might have felt a little better. But the fact that this person held no grudges and no regrets made the Young Master feel even more uncomfortable inside.
Unfortunately, there was not much time left for the father and daughter to have their heart-to-heart. The banquet was already coming to an end, and everyone had begun to leave. The servants had also returned to the courtyard to wait
With the increasing number of people, it was no longer appropriate for them to sit there in the corridor, talking as if no one else were around. He Ziyi did not linger in the Princess' courtyard. After bidding Chang'an farewell, he quietly withdrew.
"Alright, go back and rest."
It was already late, and the Young Master did not wish to stay outside any longer. After He Ziyi's figure disappeared at the end of the corridor, she finally hid her frustration, lowered her head, and reopened the Princess' door.
Unexpectedly, as soon as she entered, her wrist was immediately seized by someone.
As the Young Master instinctively raised her hand in defense, she was startled by the fragrance coming from the person hidden in the shadows.
That familiar scent made it easy for the Young Master to recognize the person's identity.
Thus, she retracted the hand that was about to fall on the Princess' neck and said helplessly, "Your Highness, why are you hiding yourself here?"
Unfortunately, she still did not hear the Princess' response for a long time. It was only after a moment that she realized the palm on her wrist was chillingly cold.
At this, the Young Master became somewhat irritated. She immediately grabbed the Princess' two hands and shoved the cold hands into her own embrace, gritting her teeth as she asked, "How long have you been hiding here? Are you cold?"
Author’s Note:
This humble author has already repented and is diligently writing. She says she wants to leave a message...
