Chapter 117: Rely On
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.
The drama had not aired yet, so the fans in the livestream room only knew a little about the story. As for the general viewers, they knew nothing at all. But when they heard how Xi Mo described Ding'e’s feelings for Deng Sui, some people left comments saying they suddenly felt something stir in their hearts.
Passersby were saying, “Why did Ruan Yesheng sound so gentle when she said that?”
At first, everyone was focused on the male and female leads, but now quite a few started getting curious about the character Ding'e.
Xi Mo continued, “Ding'e was like light to Deng Sui since they were young, but also like a shadow that followed her everywhere. The shadow secretly kept things from Deng Sui in the dark, but at the same time, it also lit her way. In the end, it burned out for her. Once the light goes out, both the light and the shadow disappear.”
The host knew how to follow up right away and said with surprise, “Sounds like I just heard a big spoiler. Ruanruan, you said ‘burned out’. Did you just accidentally reveal Ding'e’s ending?”
Xi Mo smiled, “It wasn’t an accident. I said it on purpose.”
Before the wrap party started, Lin Qitang gathered the main crew and talked about the general direction of what they would say later on stage.
Because the character Ding'e did not have much attention early on, and Ruan Yesheng’s popularity had not come back yet either, but this character was very important in the drama, Lin Qitang specially reminded Xi Mo to make use of Ding'e’s ending, and even encouraged her to tell the audience in advance what would happen to Ding'e.
“On purpose?” The host smiled and asked her, “Won’t Director Lin get mad?”
Xi Mo said, “Ding’e isn’t popular enough right now. I said something for hype, to attract more attention. The words I said were all approved by the crew.”
The people in the livestream room were confused by this move at first, but then when they reacted, they all started laughing like crazy.
“Hahahahahahaha why is Ruan Yesheng so blunt? She even said that out loud?”
“Hahahahahahaha too cute, I’m a fan now!”
“Okay okay okay, I’ll give you popularity!”
Xi Mo was thoughtful. She had seen too many tricks in the entertainment industry, so she already knew that the audience wasn’t interested in those fake, scripted speeches anymore. Everyone actually understood the intentions behind things like that, so why pretend? Instead of acting like she accidentally let something slip, it was better to be honest. That worked even better.
The host handed the mic to Lin Qitang. “Director Lin, Ruanruan said you gave permission? Let’s confirm it.”
Lin Qitang was a sly one too. He knew this was a great chance, so he laughed out loud and said, “Yes, I did give permission. From now on, we’ll be counting on everyone to support Ding’e.”
The host asked Lin Qitang a few more questions, then walked back over to Ruan Yesheng. “Just now we heard what Ding’e means to Deng Sui. Now let’s ask, what does Deng Sui think about Ding’e?”
Ruan Yesheng didn’t hesitate at all and answered calmly, “Even though Ding’e is Deng Sui’s shadow, her servant, Deng Sui never really saw Ding’e as a shadow. To Deng Sui, she was her light. In the end she watched it go out, but that bit of light still stayed. It hid deep in Deng Sui’s heart, and in the lonely days of Deng Sui’s life later on, it lit up that small corner of her heart.”
Even though there were several actors standing between them, she stood in the middle, and Xi Mo was far off to the side. But while she spoke, she leaned forward a little.
Her eyes glanced over, focused right on Xi Mo.
As if she was speaking just for Xi Mo.
Her gaze was as soft as flowing water.
Because it was a livestream, this gaze was caught by the close-up camera and shown in the livestream screen. Some of Xi Mo’s fans were all dumbfounded.
What’s going on?
Their goddess had gone to so many events, but she had never looked at anyone else with this kind of expression during interactions on stage.
Someone quietly shipped them and commented, “Ruan Yesheng answered so straight just now, but the way Xi Mo’s looking at her now is kinda bent. I’m gonna ship it first!”
But there were just too many people in the livestream. All kinds of fans were gathered. These kinds of niche comments quickly got drowned in the loud waves of fans screaming out love and support, so they didn’t really cause any stir.
The host said, “Looks like our Deng Sui really treats Ding’e too well. We’re really looking forward to seeing that deep bond between master and servant once Sui Ting airs!”
As soon as she heard the words "deep bond between master and servant," Xi Mo got suspicious. Lin Qitang had probably discussed things with the host beforehand. That kind of phrasing sounded exactly like something Lin Qitang would say.
Not only that, but the host also kept nudging her to interact with Ruan Yesheng. And with more interaction happening onstage, the audience’s attention slowly turned toward the two of them.
Shen Qingbie was watching the livestream with great interest and didn’t hold back at all when it came to sending gifts.
When she saw something funny, she reached out without thinking and patted to the side. “A’Yu, come look at this.”
But she only hit air.
Shen Qingbie froze for a second. Holding her tablet, she glanced at the chair beside her. Empty.
A’Yu wasn’t there. She hadn’t come to see her in several days.
Suddenly, Shen Qingbie felt something off in her chest.
She couldn’t say exactly what that feeling was, only that it felt strange and unfamiliar. She awkwardly looked back at the livestream screen.
“Look at what?” someone suddenly answered from behind.
Shen Qingbie jumped and turned around. Standing behind her chair, leaning down slightly to look at her, was Yu An.
Yu An wore a light gray and pink scarf. Her aura was cool and distant, yet mixed with a gentle softness.
Yu An had beautiful features. Many celebrities could not compare, but she worked behind the scenes all year round and knew how to keep a low profile. Her kind of beauty wasn’t showy like a celebrity’s—it was like a rose growing up a shady wall covered in vines.
Shen Qingbie: “…”
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Yu An asked her.
Shen Qingbie stared at her in a daze for quite a while. Then her eyes slowly turned red, and her lips pouted slightly, like she was trying to hold back her frustration. She held it in, held it in, until her cheeks puffed up like a bun full of grievance.
Yu An had never seen her like this before and was a little stunned. She leaned in closer. She was about to say something, but then realized she was being too nervous. So she calmly stepped back a little and asked, “What’s wrong? Are you mad?”
Shen Qingbie held it in for a while before forcing the words out, one at a time: “Why didn’t you come see me?”
Yu An: “…”
She was at a loss for words.
Because honestly, she didn’t know either. She didn’t know why she hadn’t gone to see her. Lately, whenever she saw Shen Qingbie, her heart would race, and she’d feel hot and flustered. It made Yu An realize she was hiding an uneasiness, so she needed time to calm down.
“I was busy with work.” Yu An walked around behind her and naturally sat down next to Shen Qingbie. She had always been used to sitting like that before. Then she reached out and took Shen Qingbie’s tablet, noticing she was watching the Sui Ting crew’s wrapbup banquet livestream.
“Then why did you suddenly decide to come see me now?” Shen Qingbie still looked a bit angry. Even though the moment she saw Yu An, most of that anger had already faded.
“I was scared you would say something dumb without me around,” Yu An said as she looked at her. “Did you say anything you shouldn’t have?”
The anger that had died down suddenly started bubbling up again.
“You really don’t trust me that much?” Shen Qingbie huffed.
Yu An sighed. “That’s right. I don’t trust you.”
Shen Qingbie didn’t catch the hidden meaning in her words. She thought Yu An was doubting her work ability, so she huffed and took a big gulp of the hot water her assistant had brought earlier. “I didn’t say anything wrong, okay? Everyone in the crew gets along with me just fine, and no gossip reporters made anything up. Even without you around, I’m doing perfectly great. You can just go find your flashy coquettish stars. Big-shot Manager Yu, all your artists are amazing. How would you even have time to bother with someone like me?”
Yu An looked at her and gave a soft laugh. She glanced down at the livestream and saw that Shen Qingbie, using the alternate account called “Do You Know What Is Dang Dang Dang Dang Dang Dang?” had sent an endless stream of gifts. Her gift total ranked first across the whole stream.
“You spent that much money?” Yu An asked while casually chatting with her.
“I spent my own money. It’s not like I spent yours,” Shen Qingbie said. “I was enjoying the livestream, so I sent gifts. You’ve got no right to tell me what to do.”
“You can spend mine too. You know my password anyway.” Yu An looked at her and asked, “So who do you like watching in the stream?”
Shen Qingbie couldn’t resist the bait and blurted out, “Of course it’s Xi Mo and Ruanruan!”
“You call Ruan Yesheng ‘Ruanruan’?” Yu An stared closely at her.
“I... I can’t?” Shen Qingbie panicked a little. She knew A'Yu was sharp and was afraid she'd notice something. “People online all call her Ruanruan. Why can’t I call her Ruanruan too?”
“Of course you can.”
Yu An nodded and opened the page to register a new alternate account too. The username she picked was: “Of Course I Know What Dang Dang Dang Dang Dang Dang Is.”
Then, while Xi Mo and Ruan Yesheng were interacting on stage, she used that account to start sending gifts. And just like before, she only sent the most expensive top-ranking ones. Because those top-tier gifts were so pricey, her points on the gift leaderboard soared quickly.
The livestream chat went crazy again. People were amazed that the rich double-supporter fan from the mines had come back.
But some sharp-eyed viewers quickly noticed something off: “Wait a second, one account is called ‘Do You Know,’ and the other one is called ‘Of Course I Know.’ They’re two different accounts! And both are on the leaderboard!”
“What?! That rich fan made another account just to send gifts? Rich people really know how to have fun! Poor people cry in the corner!”
Yu An sent even more gifts. Her rank shot up fast, and soon, she reached number one.
Now on the gift leaderboard, number one was Yu An’s “Of Course I Know What Dang Dang Dang Dang Dang Dang Is.”
Number two was Shen Qingbie’s “Do You Know What Is Dang Dang Dang Dang Dang Dang?”
“Why are you sending gifts too?” Shen Qingbie watched from the side, completely stunned.
“You said you liked them both, right?” Yu An said. “So I’m just sending a little too.”
Shen Qingbie felt deeply moved. Her face slowly lit up with a smile again. Even though she had been mad earlier, when she thought about it more, she realized A'Yu really did treat her very well. She said she liked watching Ruanruan and Xi Mo, and A'Yu immediately came over to throw money and support them for her.
A'Yu always just wanted her to be happy.
"Feeling better now?" Yu An noticed the change in Shen Qingbie’s face, and her own mood lifted a lot.
Shen Qingbie nodded. But she didn’t stay happy for long. All of a sudden, she got upset again. "Why are you first place on the gift board? You pushed me down! That’s not okay! I want to be first! I don’t want to be under you!"
Yu An: "..."
…What kind of nonsense is she saying now?
She looked at Shen Qingbie, her face full of mixed feelings.
Shen Qingbie didn’t even notice. She pointed at the tablet screen with one hand, and shook Yu An with the other. "Look! You went past me! You should be under me, not above me! Do you understand?"
Yu An’s eyes curved with a smile right away. She said, "Got it. If you say you should be on top, then you're on top."
Shen Qingbie quickly grabbed the tablet back. She used her little alt account, "Do You Know What Dang Dang Dang Dang Dang Dang Is," to throw a bunch of gift storms again. When she saw her name back at the top of the gift board, pushing Yu An’s "Of Course I Know What Dang Dang Dang Dang Dang Dang Is" back to second place, she was finally satisfied.
The livestream for the wrap party ended perfectly. As expected, it shot to the hot search and stayed there. Because of that, Xi Mo and Yan Mu also trended. But they were already famous, so it wasn’t surprising.
Lin Qitang saw how well the livestream turned out and knew the goal was reached. He couldn’t stop smiling.
When the lunch banquet started, the mood was lively. Everyone clinked glasses and toasted non-stop. Ruan Yesheng and Xi Mo sat at the same table, and many people came over to toast them. Especially Ruan Yesheng—groups of people took turns toasting her. But each time, she only took a symbolic sip.
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.
In the past, whenever Xi Mo sat down somewhere, others always treated her with respect. When it came to toasting, of course it couldn’t be avoided. But she could always control how much she drank. She’d just smile and take a tiny sip, and the other person wouldn’t feel like they lost face—because who dared to push her?
So thanks to her, Ruan Yesheng never had to suffer.
But actors without enough fame didn’t have that kind of luck. They still had to drink.
Someone high up from the producer’s side came over. He toasted Ruan Yesheng first. Ruan Yesheng barely drank any, but the higher-up still stayed polite and didn’t say anything.
He didn’t dare mess with Xi Mo, and especially not with Xi Mo’s father, Xi Ji. Celebrities might not know much about Xi Ji’s background, but as someone in the business world, he was especially afraid of Xi Ji’s methods.
Xi Ji eats people and doesn't even spit out the bones.
When he saw Xi Mo sitting next to Ruan Yesheng, he poured another glass and handed it over. "Miss Ruan, let me have a drink with you."
Xi Mo stood up, holding her own glass. "Thank you, Mr. Zhang."
Now that she was appearing in public as Ruan Yesheng, Xi Mo had to be careful in everything. All her past pride and arrogance had to be hidden away, so she would not leave behind any problems for Ruan Yesheng’s future.
She drank a little more than Ruan Yesheng today. Her cheeks were slightly red, like blooming peach blossoms. And Ruan Yesheng’s original face was already incredibly charming—after drinking, she looked even more alluring.
That Mr. Zhang kept staring at her. “Miss Ruan, now that you’ve returned to the scene, what are your plans next? I heard you haven’t signed with any company yet?”
“Yes, not yet. I’m still considering.” Xi Mo was annoyed by him, but she still had to act like she was being patient.
“Miss Ruan, you—”
Mr. Zhang wanted to keep talking, but Ruan Yesheng stood up and took the wine glass from Xi Mo’s hand. She said to him, “I’m sorry, she’s going back with me this afternoon. We’re meeting my father tonight. My dad doesn’t like it when people show up drunk in front of him, so she can’t drink anymore. I hope you understand.”
Once Mr. Zhang heard her mention Xi Ji, he stiffened right away and gave a stiff smile. “No problem at all. I’ll finish mine. Miss Ruan, feel free. Miss Xi, you too.”
He finished the glass quickly, then slipped away awkwardly.
Xi Mo and Ruan Yesheng sat back down. Xi Mo let out a breath of relief, but then frowned and looked at Ruan Yesheng.
Ruan Yesheng didn’t understand why she was being looked at like that. She ladled a bowl of soup for both of them and said, “Drink some hot soup to warm up. I tried it earlier. It’s really tasty. I don’t know what they put in it, but it’s really good.”
Xi Mo scooped up a spoonful of soup and took a sip, but her eyes stayed fixed on Ruan Yesheng.
While sipping her soup, Ruan Yesheng smiled and said softly, “What’s wrong? Are you unhappy again?”
Xi Mo glanced at the other actors at the table, then looked away. She knew this was not the right place to talk, so she only said, “It’s nothing. It’s a bit stuffy here. I saw a garden behind the hotel. Let’s take a walk after the meal.”
After finishing their soup and sitting a while longer, the two got up and left.
Gu Qisong stood not far away, watching. When he saw them leave, he quietly followed behind.
Ruan Yesheng walked over and said to him, “You don’t need to follow us. We’re just going for a walk in the garden behind. It’s nothing. Have you eaten yet? Go eat first.”
Gu Qisong hesitated for a moment, then nodded.
Ruan Yesheng could more or less guess that Xi Mo probably had something she wanted to say but held back at the table. There were too many people there, so it made sense to find a quieter place. And with Gu Qisong there, it would only be more awkward.
The two walked into the garden behind the hotel. It was not a large place, but the hotel had fixed it up nicely. There were flowers, trees, and patches of lawn, with a small gravel path running through the middle. At the end of the path were several private rooms next to a small pavilion.
The private rooms here were peaceful and obviously expensive.
They strolled along the path. The cold night wind brushed against their faces, cooling down the heat left from the wine.
“Are you cold?” Xi Mo asked.
“No. It was too stuffy inside. It feels much fresher out here.” Ruan Yesheng enjoyed this quiet time alone with Xi Mo. There were not many people here now, so she wanted to make the most of it. Once the banquet ended, the garden would likely get crowded.
“Here,” Xi Mo said, noticing that Ruan Yesheng was not wearing gloves. She took off her own and handed them over.
Ruan Yesheng looked at her but did not take them.
"Do you want me to put them on for you?" Xi Mo glanced at her and said.
Ruan Yesheng played along and teased, "If you're willing to help me put them on, then of course I'm happy to let you."
Xi Mo looked at her for a moment, then stopped. She pinched Ruan Yesheng's wrist and started putting the gloves on her. Her tone softened a lot. "Why did you go out without gloves? It's freezing. I always wore gloves back then. They were my hands, after all. You should at least learn from me. Otherwise, all that hand cream's wasted."
"I forgot." Ruan Yesheng felt a bit warm. She wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or Xi Mo holding her hand like this. "I’ll remember next time. I’ll make sure to protect your hands."
Xi Mo replied at once, "I’m not telling you to wear gloves just to protect my hands."
After a pause, she said softly, "...It’s cold."
Ruan Yesheng couldn’t help but smile. She had already figured out what Xi Mo meant. That talk about protecting her hands was just a cover. What she really cared about was whether Ruan Yesheng was cold.
After helping her put on the gloves, Xi Mo stuffed her own hands into the coat pockets and walked with her head slightly lowered.
"Did you want to talk to me about something?" Ruan Yesheng asked in a low voice.
They walked for a while before Xi Mo said, "I'm not happy."
Ruan Yesheng laughed. "You're unhappy all the time. What's so new about it that you had to come out here to say it?"
"That Mr. Zhang." Xi Mo turned her face slightly, frowning. "There are a lot of people like him. Do you know how hard it is to fight for resources sometimes? Some higher-ups use that as leverage to control actors. Drinking is one of the light things. And you—without a company, without a reliable manager—if you want to get resources later on, you'll have to deal with them yourself. You..."
"Of course I know." Ruan Yesheng lowered her eyes. "When Mr. Zhang was talking to me earlier, he told me to say hello to your dad. He seemed pretty intimidated by him. Good thing I mentioned your dad to block the drink."
"Today you could use my dad's name to get out of drinking, but what about next time?" Xi Mo asked. "If we really switch back later, you'll be on your own. What're you gonna do then?"
"You're upset because you're worried about me, right?" Ruan Yesheng said with a bright smile.
Xi Mo didn’t say anything.
Ruan Yesheng touched her neck, which was getting warm. She looked at Xi Mo and said a little awkwardly, "I used to be signed to an agency. But you know, I left the industry after that. The company kept offering me roles, but I couldn't take them. I felt guilty about it. I didn’t fulfill the contract properly and had to pay a penalty. Luckily, the company was generous and didn’t make a fuss. We ended on good terms. Now that I’m back, I know how important an agency is. But once you sign, there are lots of restrictions. I need to be careful. The companies trying to sign me now… none of them really suit me. My drama hasn’t aired yet, and I don’t have any leverage. The good ones wouldn’t look at me."
"Come to my agency," Xi Mo blurted out. "I'll have Lu Qingming sign you. You can name your own terms. Lu Qingming listens to me. No one would dare mess with you."
Ruan Yesheng stared at her, stunned. "..."
Xi Mo: "..."
Ruan Yesheng hesitated. "I remember seeing online that your agency’s biggest investor is your dad. Back when you debuted, people kept saying that no one dared to look down on you because of him. That’s how you landed big productions right away. Now you can decide who the agency signs—so your dad really is behind it?"
"It’s true," Xi Mo admitted. "Let them talk. I’ve got a dad I can count on. Do they? No. People who don’t have a good dad always say relying on your dad is a bad thing."
Ruan Yesheng smiled, but there was a touch of loneliness in it. "Your dad’s great. Being able to rely on your dad is a really good thing. I… I’m jealous."
Xi Mo looked at her smile and couldn’t help thinking of the photo frame she once saw in Ruan Yesheng’s house.
A photo of a young Ruan Yesheng with her parents.
But now, where were Ruan Yesheng’s parents?
Why had they never shown up?
She had been living as Ruan Yesheng for months now, but Ruan Yesheng’s parents seemed not to exist. No phone calls, no letters, not even a single message.
“Do you feel lonely?” Xi Mo stared at Ruan Yesheng.
Ruan Yesheng’s heart was pounding wildly. Her whole body grew hotter, and her thoughts seemed to float aimlessly from Xi Mo’s question. She felt flushed and light-headed.
“I know you’ve always been very independent,” Xi Mo’s voice grew softer, “but… have you ever wanted someone to rely on?”
A thin layer of mist seemed to blur Ruan Yesheng’s vision. Even though Xi Mo was standing right in front of her, her figure looked hazy, like a double image.
“I mean, if someone wanted to be your support, would you lean on them?” Xi Mo sounded a bit uneasy.
That question buzzed in Ruan Yesheng’s ears. Cold sweat broke out across her neck, and her whole body felt feverish. She blinked hard, reached out with both arms, and hugged Xi Mo. Her entire body went limp, almost clinging onto her.
Her cheeks were flushed, and she murmured, “Xi Mo… mm…”
She rarely called Xi Mo’s name like that in public, afraid someone might overhear. But now, she said it, her voice full of helplessness, as if she was truly seeking comfort.
Xi Mo sensed something was wrong. She quickly hugged her back. Ruan Yesheng collapsed into her arms, her cheek pressing against her, her voice trembling, “Xi Mo, I… I feel uncomfortable… something’s wrong…”
Xi Mo wrapped one arm around her and reached to touch her neck—only to find it drenched in hot sweat.
Author’s Note:
Qingqing, the characters I write don’t really care about who is on top or bottom. It is all mutual—give and take—so stop overthinking it. [.
Wood block asked Ruanruan if she would lean on someone, and the next moment Ruanruan leaned right onto her. [.
Don’t panic. This is just a normal big turning point. I have been writing quite a lot recently. Of course, as fellow members of the cutest organization in the universe, if you could drop some ratings and comments to water me with love and support, that would be even better~
