Chapter 29:Sometimes, You Make My Heart Ache
Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=5310224
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com
About her uncle, back when her mother got sick, the family had no money. The money came from her uncle. Even though her aunt strongly disagreed and made a big fuss, in the end, they still managed to borrow it.
Later, after her mother died, her uncle also tried his best to help, and he never said anything about it.
Now, he was on the verge of death, with half his body already buried in the yellow earth, yet he could not even afford a coffin. Just thinking about it felt both sad and ridiculous.
Ji Lianxing felt really bitter. If she could, she truly wanted to repay him. After all, he was her only family left.
As for money, it was impossible to go ask Jiang Shu again. If she really opened her mouth, then she would be a real beggar.
Ji Lianxing felt extremely blocked up inside. She hated the iron not becoming steel*. She hated Ji Siyu’s lazy and entitled attitude. If Ji Siyu had shown even a bit of ambition over the years, if he had just worked any kind of job, they would not be in this mess, eating off the elders at home.
*being disappointed for failing to meet expectations.
Back at the workplace, Ji Lianxing went to ask her supervisor for leave. She had decided to return home early the next morning.
After that, she was absent-minded the whole time. Her head kept drifting to thoughts of her uncle.
The way her uncle was now, reminded her of her mother. It was a similar feeling—life reaching its end, people leaving, and she could do nothing. They were going to another world, and no matter how she tried to hold on, she could not pull them back.
Is money really all-powerful? From Ji Siyu’s tone on the phone just now, it sounded like even a million wouldn’t be enough to turn things around.
"Looks like it’s about to rain." Someone in the office said.
Ji Lianxing looked out the window. A few patches of dark clouds drifted over from the other side of the city. They pressed down low, covering the tall buildings. It felt heavy and suffocating, like the weight was sitting right on her chest. It was going to rain, even though just moments ago, the sky had been clear.
In just a minute or two, the heavy clods pressed down, then—rain came pouring down from the sky like a waterfall.
Her phone finally popped up a late notification: [According to the weather staation, heavy rain is expected from the 5th to the 7th of this month. Thunderstorms are likely between 4 p.m. and 10 p.m. today. Please take proper precautions.]
Ji Lianxing swiped the message away and set her phone on the desk, feeling a real headache. A bolt of lightning split across the gray-black sky like peanut roots torn from the dirt, clutching the whole city tight.
Boom—boom!!!
A few timid girls in the office covered their ears and let out small, restrained screams.
Ji Lianxing took a sip of water to calm herself. The sky was tricky and strange—autumn thunderstorms showed up without warning, totally impossible to predict.
Thunder roaring and the sky going dark during the day—it really was scary. But when she used to live in the small town, she often saw thunderstorms like this around this time of year. It was nothing new to her.
Just then, her phone lit up. Someone called, but it only flashed once before hanging up. This time, it wasn’t the annoying Ji Siyu—it was Jiang Shu.
[Can you come up?] Another message popped up.
Go up? Now? During work hours? She had just twenty minutes left before her department meeting.
[What is it, President Jiang?] Ji Lianxing replied.
Ten minutes passed, and Jiang Shu still didn’t reply.
There were only ten minutes left before the meeting. Ji Lianxing had always put work first, but in the end, she still chose Jiang Shu over the meeting.
She told her team leader she wasn’t feeling well and took time off, then headed straight for the 28th floor.
She was a bit worried about Jiang Shu, even though she didn’t understand why she was being called upstairs during work hours.
Standing in the elevator, Ji Lianxing was a little out of it. When did it start, she wondered? Even if they were just lovers, something between her and Jiang Shu had started to tangle together. What used to be untouchable had now deeply soaked into her life.
If things kept going this way—was it good, or bad?
She soon reached the 28th floor. Without greeting the receptionist, Ji Lianxing headed straight to Jiang Shu’s office.
The moment she opened the door, she saw Jiang Shu sitting in her chair, her face buried in her palms. Her expression couldn’t be seen.
“President Jiang?”
Jiang Shu looked up. Her lips were pale, and her eyes held a fear she couldn’t hide.
“What’s wrong?” Ji Lianxing ran toward her.
“Don’t come over!” Jiang Shu shouted to stop her. She was covering her face with one hand, like she didn’t want Ji Lianxing to see her clearly.
“President Jiang?”
“Don’t talk yet.” Jiang Shu ordered her.
Ji Lianxing stopped and stood where she was. She quietly looked at Jiang Shu. She had never seen her like this before.
It seemed like she was avoiding something, afraid of something, hiding something. What exactly was it? Ji Lianxing really wanted to know, but if Jiang Shu did not want to say it, no one would ever know.
The big office felt empty and lonely. The dark clouds outside made the room even dimmer. Under the grey light, Jiang Shu’s figure looked small and helpless. She sat beside the desk, as if something had trapped her. A thick cocoon seemed to wrap around her shoulders, and her face showed some pain.
“President Jiang...” Ji Lianxing asked her softly.
Jiang Shu shook her head and still would not let Ji Lianxing come close.
Outside the glass window, lightning flashed again. This time it was stronger than before, like a huge clap of thunder would follow any second.
Fear showed in Jiang Shu’s eyes. Then, lightning flashed again. Jiang Shu’s shoulders trembled slightly. Ji Lianxing noticed it.
She reacted in just one second—Jiang Shu was afraid of thunder. And it was not the normal kind of fear.
Just seconds before the thunder roared, Ji Lianxing ignored her warning and rushed over to hug her. It was her first time hugging Jiang Shu on her own. When she touched Jiang Shu’s hand, she felt how cold her palm was. Her whole body was slightly shaking. The fear on her face was not fake.
“Don’t be scared.” Ji Lianxing held her close. Jiang Shu did not push her away. “You’re afraid of thunder?”
“A little.” Just as she spoke, thunder rumbled outside. Jiang Shu closed her eyes. Flashes of images came to her mind—night, heavy rain, a car accident, and his body covered in blood.
“I’m fine.”
While saying she was fine, her face was pale as paper. Ji Lianxing looked at the cold sweat on her forehead and reached out to wipe it, comforting her, “Don’t be scared. It’s okay to be afraid. I’m here with you. I’ll protect you. You’re safe now.”
Ji Lianxing held her tightly. Jiang Shu leaned into Ji Lianxing’s arms and felt the warmth of her embrace. Hearing her gentle voice, Jiang Shu slowly calmed down. At least for now, she felt safe. The bad images in her head were soon pushed away, leaving only her heavy breathing. She took a few deep breaths, trying hard to settle her emotions.
“It’s always like this when there’s thunder and rain. I’ll think of my brother.”
Jiang Shu’s brother—Ji Lianxing had heard about him, but never met him.
“He died. He died on a night of lightning and pouring rain. To be exact, both of us should’ve died that night. Or maybe... the one who should’ve died was me.”
Ji Lianxing just listened. She did not ask anything. In this kind of situation, she had no idea where to start.
It was death again. And it sounded like an accident. She understood that kind of feeling—when a loved one passed away before you, whether it was your fault or not, the guilt would stay in your heart forever. Like her own mother—whenever she went to the hospital, Ji Lianxing would think of her. That kind of connection had seeped into her bones. It would stay with her until the day she herself was buried.
“President Jiang, don’t be afraid.” Ji Lianxing patted Jiang Shu’s shoulder and spoke softly, “What’s in the past should stay in the past.”
“It has passed, but now and then, it still comes back like this.” Jiang Shu closed her eyes and felt the warmth in Ji Lianxing’s embrace. There was a light fragrance, the scent of fig. That smell eased her fear.
Jiang Shu leaned into Ji Lianxing’s arms and sighed quietly. She remembered her brother’s death. The guilt kept knocking on her heart, making her feel that the argument they had that night had been so unnecessary.
“Calm down first. Try to settle your emotions, President Jiang.”
Ji Lianxing guided Jiang Shu to sit on the sofa and gently patted her back.
“President Jiang, life is hard, and death comes without warning. I just got a call from Ji Siyu. My uncle probably will not make it. It should be within these next couple of days.” Her tone was calm, like a quiet surrender after giving up struggling. “If he dies, that means I’ll have no more family left in this world. The last time was my mother. She left the same way. So I understand how you feel.”
Ji Lianxing swallowed down her own emotions and smiled at Jiang Shu. “I’ll go home tomorrow, and after that, I might not have a home to go back to anymore.”
Their eyes met. Jiang Shu looked into hers and saw deep sorrow in those pure, clear eyes. She did not know what this girl had gone through, but her life must have been very bitter.
Jiang Shu’s mood gradually calmed. Holding hands with Ji Lianxing, she used her cold palm to exchange for warmth—the warmth that Ji Lianxing gave her.
“It’s alright, President Jiang. Next time it thunders, don’t be afraid. I’ll be by your side.”
Jiang Shu was a little moved. Ji Lianxing’s eyes were too sincere. That kind of genuine honesty touched her heart.
“What if you’re not by my side?” Jiang Shu asked.
“Then look straight at the sky. Face your fear. If I’m still in N City, I’ll look at the sky with you. That means I’ll be right by your side.”
She would look at the sky with her—Jiang Shu thought, with that thought in mind, maybe it would not be so scary after all.
“Thank you, little hedgehog.”
Jiang Shu suddenly thought of what Li Xiangyan had said at noon. She found it completely ridiculous. If a canary fell in love with its benefactor, then that canary must be stupid beyond belief.
And now she was thinking of another question—could a benefactor ever fall for a canary?
Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=5310224
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com
She did not know why this question popped into her head. It just appeared, without her even digging into the reason. After two seconds, Jiang Shu rejected the idea. She believed no benefactor would be foolish enough to fall in love with a plaything. Others would not. She definitely would not.
Rain was still falling outside. The air carried a chill. Ji Lianxing sat beside Jiang Shu, tightly holding her hand.
Jiang Shu’s fingers were fair and slender. This kind of touch was something Ji Lianxing had never dared to dream of before.
She stared at Jiang Shu’s fingertips, dazed. The neatly trimmed nails had a healthy pink hue around the edges, with a few cute little half-moons on the nail beds.
Jiang Shu’s hand was no longer cold, but Ji Lianxing did not want to let go.
She thought, just now, maybe she had been needed for a brief moment. Then… could she be the one who needed Jiang Shu for a little while now?
“President Jiang.” Ji Lianxing lowered her head.
“Mm?” Jiang Shu turned to look at her. Her long hair fell, covering half of her thin face.
“I… I want a hug too. Is that okay?”
Jiang Shu froze for a second, then smiled. “Of course it is.”
She opened her arms and gave Ji Lianxing a solid, genuine hug.
Ji Lianxing curled up in Jiang Shu’s embrace. Her arms wrapped around Jiang Shu’s neck, and she closed her eyes. She wanted to rest for a while.
She was a little tired. She still had no idea where she could borrow the fifty thousand yuan for her uncle. If he died without even a proper grave, Ji Lianxing felt she might carry that guilt for the rest of her life.
As for Ji Siyu—that bastard was completely unreliable. Even if she sold him off, he would not be worth twenty cents.
“Little hedgehog, are you feeling sad?”
Ji Lianxing did not speak. She just nodded in Jiang Shu’s arms.
“Do you feel like life is too hard?”
Ji Lianxing nodded, then shook her head.
“Let me hold you properly.” Jiang Shu hugged her tighter and whispered next to her ear, “Does it feel better when I hold you like this?”
Ji Lianxing still did not speak, but she nodded again.
Her hands were hanging around Jiang Shu’s neck, and Jiang Shu felt a ticklish feeling in her heart.
“Sometimes, you make my heart ache.” Jiang Shu held her waist and leaned closer, placing a kiss on the tip of her ear.
The warm breath entered Ji Lianxing’s ear, spreading warmth around the edges, and the fig-like scent drifted gently in the air.
Ji Lianxing’s hands around Jiang Shu’s neck tightened slightly. She leaned in close, half her face pressed against Jiang Shu’s.
That thought popped up again—if they were not just a kept relationship but a real couple instead, how nice would that be?
If they were, she could openly express her feelings. She would surely kiss her, move even closer to her.
“President Jiang, there is nothing worth feeling sorry for.” She held back her emotions, but her voice still trembled a little. “Let’s just hug.”
To Ji Lianxing, the hug was enough. She was afraid—afraid of falling into Jiang Shu’s whirlpool and never being able to get out.
