Chapter 142: Letter
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.
Ruan Yesheng thought back to the old days in college, already feeling a bit emotional. Now hearing Xi Mo say things were not the same anymore, her heartbeat grew faster. The past memories and the warmth of now mixed together, full of mixed feelings.
“What is different?” Ruan Yesheng sighed in her heart, yet still didn’t forget to seize every chance to tease this block of wood.
Though teasing the block of wood didn’t always work, she always enjoyed it. But now she felt she failed more often than before. She felt Xi Mo’s thoughts were getting harder to read, and sometimes Xi Mo’s replies were so direct, it left Ruan Yesheng at a loss.
Could this be the feeling of failing to tease the block of wood, only to be hit back head-on by the block of wood instead?
It didn’t hurt, it was soft and sweet.
She liked it so much.
“Many things are not the same.” Xi Mo kept it vague.
Ruan Yesheng was already ready not to get an answer. She looked at Xi Mo and smiled.
With Zhou Wenxu and the others still around, even if Xi Mo wanted to answer, she would not say it here. For now, finding the gifts and letters was most important.
“The marks I made on the gifts weren’t drawn, but sealed with wax.” To make the search faster, Ruan Yesheng described the details of her gifts carefully: “Four gifts, all not very big.”
She said this, then glanced around the shelves for a moment, and finally picked out one gift box from a storage bin on top.
This gift box had already been checked by Zhou Wenxu and the others. A small tick mark could be seen at the corner. Ruan Yesheng brought the gift box to Xi Mo and said, “My four packages are about this size. After unwrapping the package, each one has another box inside. The wax seal is on the inner box. As long as you find the wax seal, then compare the design, that will be enough.”
Xi Mo glanced at her sideways. “Didn't you not say before you had forgotten? You said you could not even remember how many letters you wrote. How is it that now you can say so clearly the size, the details, the place of the wax seal?”
Ruan Yesheng smiled. “What I said then was just angry words.”
Those gifts and letters carried all her love in her youth.
How could she not remember.
They were carved into her bones.
She even clearly remembers the unease each time she sent them. She worried if Xi Mo would dislike them after receiving. She worried if Xi Mo would feel annoyed when reading the letters.
But along with the nerves, she still held that burning hope, hoping Xi Mo could receive her feelings.
Xi Mo looked at Ruan Yesheng for a moment. Then she took the gift box Ruan Yesheng had handed her, walked over, and gave detailed instructions to Zhou Wenxu and the others. She told them to remember the size of the target gift box, and to watch for wax seals with the same mark as before.
In the end, Xi Mo added, “After you find the inner box with the wax seal, don’t open it to see the gift inside. Just bring the inner box to me.”
Zhou Wenxu caught on and said, “Don’t worry, I understand. This is Miss Ruan’s gift for you. You want to open it first. I promise once I see the inner box with the wax seal, I’ll bring it to you right away.”
Xi Mo: “…”
Zhou Wenxu, tell me why you suddenly understand again?!
What do you understand?!
After finishing her instructions, Xi Mo went back to Ruan Yesheng and said, “They will look for the gifts. We will go there to look for the letters. The letters are harder to find. There are too many. Just right, you as the one who wrote them are here, you can tell them apart.”
“Okay.” Ruan Yesheng nodded.
The two entered the room where the letters were kept. Xi Mo asked Ruan Yesheng, “In total, how many letters? Now you can finally say it, right?”
“Seventeen in total.” Ruan Yesheng smiled.
Xi Mo: “…”
…So many.
She had not read even one. They were drowned in that sea of letters.
Regret rose in Xi Mo’s heart again. She only wished she could quickly find those letters Ruan Yesheng had written for her back then.
The two took down a transparent storage box from the shelf and poured the letters inside onto the table. Then they sat down side by side, searching one by one. Ruan Yesheng only needed to glance at the surface of each envelope. She picked up a letter, looked quickly, and if it was not hers, she put it back into the storage box in order.
While checking envelopes, Ruan Yesheng said, “My envelopes have no signature, and no wax seal.”
“Then how should I find them?” Xi Mo was a bit anxious. “Is it that kind of common envelope? Are there pictures or words on it? What color? Or is it just a plain white envelope?”
Ruan Yesheng knew her own envelopes. Even without a name on them, she could pick them out at once.
But Xi Mo was different. If the envelopes had no mark at all, she would have no way to start.
She could not let everything depend on Ruan Yesheng. With such a huge number of envelopes, it would surely be a heavy burden for Ruan Yesheng. Right now, Xi Mo wished she could be like Ruan Yesheng, able to clearly know the features of those seventeen letters.
Ruan Yesheng said, “Don’t worry. The envelopes are easy to recognize. Seventeen letters, all with flowers I drew on them.”
That was unexpected for Xi Mo. She said, “You drew them?”
She remembered that back in university, Ruan Yesheng did not know how to draw. She remembered it well.
Because once the dance club Ruan Yesheng belonged to needed a poster for a performance. Song Ran from the club asked around, but no one could do it. Ruan Yesheng even laughed and said her drawing looked like dog scratches. Xi Mo was right there beside her at that time and heard it clearly.
Luckily, Ruan Yesheng had many connections and asked a senior from the art school for help. The senior not only finished the poster, he even framed it and carried the half-person-high frame himself to deliver it to the dance club.
Ruan Yesheng said, “I don’t know how to draw, so first I paid a friend from the art school to sketch on white paper. Then I copied slowly onto white envelopes, stroke by stroke. It was just an imitation. The lines all shook. I wasted many envelopes at first.”
Xi Mo pictured it in her mind, and she could feel the effort behind it. She said, “For every envelope, you had to draw many times?”
Ruan Yesheng smiled. “If I did not draw many times, it would not work. Either I drew wrong, or the color went out of the lines. I really have no art sense. My friend drew so well, and when I copied, it still turned out like that. I really embarrassed him.”
“…That is still pretty good.”
“You never saw it. How do you know it is pretty good?” Ruan Yesheng blinked.
“You were that serious.” Xi Mo said, “Of course it is good.”
Ruan Yesheng felt that her words were sweet today, and she liked it a lot. She said, “If you see the original, then see my copy, you will know what ‘too awful to look at’ means.”
“Were all seventeen letters with the same flower?” Xi Mo asked.
Ruan Yesheng shook her head. “No. Every letter had a different flower.”
“What kinds then?”
“Flowers of the 24 Solar Terms*.”
*flowers that symbolize the 24 Seasonal changes every time the sun travels 15 degrees on the ecliptic longitude.
“What is that?” Xi Mo frowned.
She felt Ruan Yesheng always knew some strange knowledge.
“The 24 Solar Terms each have a flower that matches them.” Ruan Yesheng explained to her: “For example, Start of Spring is Winter jasmine, Awakening of Insects is Rose, Cold Dew is Osmanthus, and so on. But there are several different versions of this saying. I only drew one kind. Also, I wrote the solar term names on the envelopes, so they should be easy to tell apart.”
Xi Mo opened her phone and searched the flowers online. Sure enough, there was such a thing as solar term flowers. Following Ruan Yesheng’s words, she found a detailed chart. It even had very clear pictures, easy to understand at one glance.
She memorized the looks of those flowers quietly, using them as a base to find the envelopes.
They searched for half an hour. The letters in the storage box were all dumped out and packed back in again. The process was boring, but the two stayed patient.
Ruan Yesheng left in the middle, went downstairs to pour water. She carried a tray with many cups, first sending them to Mr. Two and the others working in the gift room. Then she brought the last two into the letter room.
Ruan Yesheng handed Xi Mo a cup, then sat beside her to rest a bit.
Her eyes swept around casually and landed on a brand-new box on the ground near the table, full of letters inside.
Xi Mo noticed her looking and said: “In the afternoon, Lu Qingming came by and brought me something. He brought these letters along today. After giving them, he left right away. You were still napping then, so I didn’t tell you.”
Ruan Yesheng said: “These are recent fan letters?”
Xi Mo held the cup and drank a sip: “Mm, these are the ones that just arrived at the company. I just got back, I haven’t read them yet.”
“So they haven’t been put into the storage boxes yet. These storage boxes are sorted by the time the letters were received?” Ruan Yesheng’s gaze stayed on the box filled with envelopes.
“More or less. Every time Lu Qingming sorts a batch, he brings them for me to see. I just look at some at random, then put them into the boxes, placed on the shelves in order.”
Xi Mo pointed as she spoke: “The order starts from that wall. The closer to that side, the earlier the time. The more you go this way, the later the time.”
Ruan Yesheng looked at the box a few more times.
One letter stood out. It was stuffed until it bulged.
So thick a letter?
This person can really write.
Because the letters in the box were stacked sideways, that fat letter was so heavy it leaned left and pressed down the pile beside it, showing part of another envelope under it.
…That envelope.
Ruan Yesheng’s heart stirred. She walked to the box, bent down, and picked up that thickest letter.
The moment she saw the full envelope, surprise rose in her eyes. She held it in her hand and studied it closely.
There was no sender’s name. Only three neat little words in the lower left corner: Beginning of Winter.
In the middle, it said: "To Xi Mo."
The words "To Xi Mo" were round and chubby, cute yet a bit clumsy. They stood in sharp contrast with the two words Beginning of Winter in the lower left corner, clearly not written by the same hand.
When Ruan Yesheng saw this letter, her shock was plain.
She really had not thought that this letter would be written to Xi Mo by Shen Qingbie.
Shen Qingbie was bold indeed, daring to secretly write to Xi Mo as a fan. But then again, since she once secretly sent flowers as a fan, her writing letters was not so strange.
What made Ruan Yesheng connect it to Shen Qingbie was not only because the handwriting on the envelope was distinct and looked much like hers. After all, there could be many people in the world with similar handwriting. That could not be taken as proof.
The key point was the envelope itself.
On it was a cluster of Yellow Cassia flowers.
Among the twenty-four solar terms flowers, it stood for Beginning of Winter.
The flower language of Yellow Cassia was kindness, friendship, and lasting bonds. It was often given to friends to express ties of friendship.
Ruan Yesheng stared at this envelope. The bright yellow petals bloomed on the white paper, dazzling and vivid, yet clumsy and poor in skill.
This flower was so familiar that she recognized it the moment she saw it.
Because it was her own drawing.
Back in university, when Ruan Yesheng planned to write her first letter to Xi Mo, she knew Xi Mo often received many letters. She worried her envelope would get lost in that pile and look the same as the rest, so she hoped her own envelope could be one of a kind, and best if it could form a whole series.
After much thought, Ruan Yesheng decided to draw the envelopes herself.
But she didn't know how to draw. She bought a stack of plain white envelopes, then went to a friend at the art academy, paid a good amount of money, and explained in detail that she needed drawings of flowers for the 24 Solar Terms. After her friend finished designing them all, she copied them onto the white envelopes one by one.
This way, her envelopes would be special, different from anyone else’s.
She thought when Xi Mo received the first one, she might not notice. But if later on, Xi Mo found more and more envelopes with the same style, she should take note.
Besides, Ruan Yesheng knew well that Xi Mo had some obsessive habits.
Once, during a class meeting to discuss a performance, the mood was relaxed, and their classmates sat around chatting. The class monitor bought a box of cola and set it on the table.
Among the cans, one had been placed upside down, bottom facing up.
Xi Mo endured it for a while, but in the end she walked up to take a can. At the same time, she quietly turned that upside-down can right side up. Everyone else was busy talking and noticed nothing. Only Ruan Yesheng caught Xi Mo’s little move, and she almost died laughing inside.
She leaned closer and teased Xi Mo: “Don’t you usually avoid drinking cola? That's odd.”
Xi Mo shot her a cold glance. “I want to drink today.”
And with a stern face, she actually finished the whole can of cola.
Because of this, Ruan Yesheng felt that when Xi Mo kept receiving envelopes with flowers of the 24 Solar Terms, maybe later on Xi Mo would think about collecting them all.
After all, there were 24 terms. If one was missing, Xi Mo would feel uncomfortable.
But in the end, Ruan Yesheng’s plan still failed.
Xi Mo never even saw those envelopes.
After Ruan Yesheng sent the seventeenth letter, she never wrote again. The last seven flower envelopes stayed with her.
Later, when she became famous with ‘Sound Of Steps’, she once found those seven envelopes again. She remembered her university days, and her emotions rose. She suddenly wanted to write to Xi Mo again, but she did not know how to start, so she only sat at the desk in a daze.
Just then Shen Qingbie came over. She saw those envelopes on the desk, felt they were interesting, and asked where they came from.
At that time, Ruan Yesheng thought she would probably have no more ties with Xi Mo in the future. She could not write a letter now, and even less possible later. Since Shen Qingbie liked them, she gave her three, and one of them was the one with the Yellow Cassia flower.
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.
Shen Qingbie actually kept it until now, and even used her envelope to write to Xi Mo.
Xi Mo stood beside Ruan Yesheng, watching her expression change, and asked: “Why take this letter? What is special about it?”
She glanced at the envelope and said: “Just that the handwriting looks cute.”
If Shen Qingbie knew Xi Mo praised her handwriting as cute, she would be thrilled enough to fly to the sky and rush out of the solar system.
“Because the handwriting is cute.” Ruan Yesheng pulled back her thoughts and smiled. “And this one is so thick, the letter inside must be very long.”
"Because the writing is cute." Ruan Yesheng put her thoughts away, smiled, and said, "Also, it's so thick, the letters inside must be really long."
Xi Mo looked at the Yellow Cassia and "Beginning of Winter" on the envelope, thinking that Ruan Yesheng's envelopes were also flowers for the solar terms, and said, "If this wasn't just sent to the company recently, and was in the storage box, I might think I found your letter."
Many fans decorate envelopes, Xi Mo wasn't surprised. The Yellow Cassia here was drawn on, looked serious, but looking closely, the strokes were crooked, the lines shook, it was clearly drawn by someone not good at art.
But the structure of the flowers was very clear, the composition very clever, probably drawn by an amateur copying a professional, matching Ruan Yesheng's description.
"My handwriting isn't like this." Ruan Yesheng smiled.
Xi Mo said, "The 'Beginning of Winter' in the lower left corner is pretty like your handwriting. Are your envelopes similar to this?"
"Yeah, about the same." Ruan Yesheng was a bit guilty, "You can look for my envelopes using this style, it'll be easier to tell them apart."
Xi Mo felt much relieved, "With this reference envelope, I know how to find them."
"Do you want to read this letter?" Ruan Yesheng was a bit curious, wondering what Shen Qingbie had written.
No wonder Shen Qingbie posted on Weibo recently, saying she felt so nervous, so nervous, and even posted a photo of a pen.
Fans didn’t know what Shen Qingbie meant, thinking she ran into some trouble while filming, and comforted her in the comments, saying Qingqing, don’t be nervous, we will always support you.
Now Ruan Yesheng understood, it was that day Shen Qingbie wrote to Xi Mo.
Xi Mo wanted to find Ruan Yesheng’s letters quickly, and didn’t have time or mood to read them, but she watched Ruan Yesheng’s expression. She felt Ruan Yesheng was very interested in this letter, thinking she wanted to see it, and said, "Since you picked it out, then take a look."
"Can I read it?" Ruan Yesheng asked softly.
Before, when she was in the crew as Xi Mo, sometimes she would meet some fans, and they gave her many letters. But she only collected them, never opened them, and called Xi Mo to open them herself.
After all, letters are private, she couldn’t open them without permission.
Xi Mo was now even more sure Ruan Yesheng was curious about this letter, and said, "Of course you can."
"Thank you." Ruan Yesheng smiled sincerely.
Xi Mo took out the stack of papers from the envelope, unfolded them, and they looked together.
There were eight full sheets. Ruan Yesheng really admired Shen Qingbie, she talked a lot, and the letter was incredibly long.
The first page began: "Hello Xi Mo, I am your dear little fan."
Ruan Yesheng: "…"
Xi Mo felt something was off and said, "This person’s tone, and handwriting, is so similar to the fan who gave us flowers at the hospital last time. I remember that fan was your friend?"
"I don’t know either." Ruan Yesheng pretended to be clueless. "Maybe it's just a coincidence."
Xi Mo didn’t say anything else, and continued reading.
Shen Qingbie wrote a lot of nonsense at the start of the letter, mostly praising Xi Mo. She said she had liked Xi Mo’s movies for many years, and Xi Mo’s acting in those movies was basically a perfect textbook-level performance. Thousands of words, all kinds of praise.
Ruan Yesheng kept reading and wanted to laugh. Shen Qingbie really knew how to flatter, what a world-moving dear little fan.
But later, the letter started going off track.
Many fans, when writing letters, would include things about their studies or work, troubles and joys. Reading those letters was like seeing their lives, and Xi Mo was already used to it.
Shen Qingbie wrote in the letter, "I have a friend who met some troubles."
Everyone knows, if someone starts with “I have a friend” and says something, there’s a big chance that friend doesn’t exist, and that friend is actually herself.
Shen Qingbie continued, "That friend, she has a closest sister."
Even though Ruan Yesheng always heard Shen Qingbie say they two are good, really good sisters, she could tell from Shen Qingbie's words now, the "closest sister" she mentioned here was not her.
It should be referring to Yu An.
Author's Note:
Ruanruan: You said you were going to find my letters, how come you found Shen Qingbie's.
Shen Qingbie: Surprised huh! It's me! [No wonder you learned Northeast dialect on that variety show, Qingqing.]
Xi Mo: "…"
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