Chapter 46: Can't Hide

Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=5821232
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com

As soon as the two managers left, Qin Shiyue unconsciously looked at Lin Qingyi. She saw Lin Qingyi smile at her again. The smile bloomed with charm, like spring water rippling.

Qin Shiyue felt she suddenly returned to last night’s atmosphere, and the little deer in her heart was about to break free again. She realized that just now, because others were present, Lin Qingyi had held back and did not tease her in front of outsiders. Now that everyone else was gone, she might expose her true nature without restraint.

Lin Qingyi leaned toward her. Qin Shiyue felt her heart was as noisy as a busy market. Every time before, when the room door closed, this woman loved to touch her after getting close. Even though it was all teasing, she seemed to have Stockholm syndrome. Now, not only did she not resist, but she even began to expect what Lin Qingyi would do to her. She even thought, maybe today she would not fight back. Wherever Lin Qingyi wanted to touch, she would let her. That way Lin Qingyi could touch her longer. Realizing she had such a shameful thought, Qin Shiyue was shocked. Had she become this greedy for a woman? It's over. Qin Shiyue felt she was really going to die.

Lin Qingyi was again very close to Qin Shiyue, but this time she did not reach out to play with her hair, or touch her neck and face.

Qin Shiyue’s expectation fell through. This woman actually did not make a move this time, and she felt a strange loss in her heart.

“Why do you suddenly want to eat lychees?” Lin Qingyi was still very close to Qin Shiyue. Her lips neared Qin Shiyue’s ear, and she asked casually with some curiosity.

Qin Shiyue felt her ears were more sensitive than ever before, as if every single cell on them had entered battle mode, like grass and trees all becoming soldiers. Even the slight warm breath from Lin Qingyi’s words brought a shivering, tingling feeling to her. She could avoid this kind of disturbance, but she could not bear to. She even thought that if she leaned just a few millimeters closer, she might be able to touch her lips. This thought seemed like it was possessed by a demon, but her reason and sense of shame restrained it. She had to stay reserved, not take the initiative to throw herself at her. Throwing herself at someone never ended well.

“Yesterday when I saw you dressed like a lychee, I thought it’s been a long time since I had lychees. Now it’s the season for lychees again. Is it not okay to suddenly want to eat them?” Qin Shiyue said with confidence, not denying that wanting lychees was related to the woman in front of her.

Qin Shiyue admitting that eating lychees was connected to her made Lin Qingyi even more pleased.

“Do you just want to eat lychees, or do you want to do it with a woman?” At this moment, Lin Qingyi reached out to brush Qin Shiyue’s golden bangs, tucking them behind her ear. Her fingertips touched Qin Shiyue’s ear.

The unintentional touch to her ear brought a sudden tingling that almost made Qin Shiyue’s body tremble. Lin Qingyi’s words were even more blunt and bold, making Qin Shiyue’s face instantly turn red. Are straight women this direct? Even if you see through it, don’t say it out loud, okay? How was she supposed to answer? If she said yes, wouldn’t that mean admitting she had improper thoughts about her?

But in fact, she really did want to. It seemed she could not hide it anymore.

To hell with it.

“It is that I want to do it. After all, I have not done it with a woman for too long. Having some need is normal. Besides, filming every day, in a situation where resources are lacking, even a sow can compare to Diao Chan*. The only woman with decent looks I can get close to is you. We act together every day. I cannot avoid having a transfer of feelings toward the you in the play. What, do you want to do it with me?” Qin Shiyue reached out to hold Lin Qingyi’s waist, pulling her body close to herself. Qin Shiyue remembered that at that ball, Lin Qingyi had also once held her and pulled her close. Truly, times change, thirty years east of the river, thirty years west of the river**”.

*The complete phrase was: After 3 years being in the military (mandatory military training), a sow will be as beautiful as Diao Chan. Meaning after being deprived or seldom seeing the opposite sex, anyone will look beautiful. Diao Chan is one of the Four Beauties of ancient China, known for her beauty and her role in the historical novel Romance of the Three Kingdoms.

**Situations change with time; fortunes or positions can reverse.

The moment her body was tightly held and pressed to Qin Shiyue, Lin Qingyi’s body trembled a little, and her heart also had thousands of deer running wildly. But Qin Shiyue’s words made Lin Qingyi instantly calm and clear. Because she was not sure if Qin Shiyue was doing this because she felt empty and lonely after losing in love and wanted to find someone to comfort her, or maybe she really had a transfer of feelings from the play. After all, actors getting into character and developing feelings for the person in the play is not rare.

Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=5821232
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com

No matter which one it was, Lin Qingyi could not accept it. She admitted that she was the one who liked first and even the one who first teased Qin Shiyue, but the return she wanted was absolutely not these two kinds. She was not a beggar for feelings. What she wanted was equal feelings from Qin Shiyue, definitely not to be a substitute to pass Qin Shiyue’s empty time and satisfy her physical needs. Even if she was not a substitute, if it was only feelings born from acting, Lin Qingyi would not be glad. In her view, this kind of feeling was not reliable. Maybe when the play ended, the feeling would end too.

So at this moment, Lin Qingyi doubted that Qin Shiyue’s taste had really changed. It was very possible that it was just a certain time, a certain environment, that made a temporary dependence and liking. This kind of liking was not stable and not solid. At this moment, Lin Qingyi suddenly hated acting opposite Qin Shiyue. Since when had her charm become so low that she needed to use a play to make the other develop feelings? What she wanted was for Qin Shiyue to completely like her as a person.

Lin Qingyi was originally a very proud woman.

“A play is just a play. Little Boss Qin, don’t get too into it.” Lin Qingyi let out a light laugh, then Qin Shiyue pushed her away.

It was clearly the same smile, but it was not the same anymore. It still bloomed with charm, but earlier it grew like a lotus, now it grew like an ice flower, so cold that Qin Shiyue felt a bit uncomfortable and even a bit wronged. Clearly, she was the one always teasing her, yet now she reminded her not to get too into the act.

This feeling of being wronged and uncomfortable made Qin Shiyue realize that she really had foolishly gotten too into the act. A straight woman like Lin Qingyi, who flirts with you then makes you stay clear-headed, is really too annoying. But she clearly had said from the start that she was straight. It was Qin Shiyue herself who insisted on having improper thoughts about her.

Thinking about it again and again, Qin Shiyue got angry at herself. Was she so deprived of women that she had gone crazy? Any random straight woman could make her greedy, but that person basically did not even see her.

Alright, don’t get into the act, then don’t get into the act.

If she got into it again, she was just a fool. Qin Shiyue fiercely warned herself in her heart: what good end is there in liking a straight woman? Qin Shiyue already felt that this understanding came too late. She felt her end was already bad. She had a kind of feeling like losing a love.

Even though she had not even started the love. Not only had she gotten into the act, she even added to the act. She seemed doomed to never become a good actress. But Lin Qingyi was a natural-born good actress, because several times, she had even once thought the other also liked her a little.

Qin Shiyue looked at Lin Qingyi at this moment, looking as cold and as out of reach as when they first met, and thought, this must be her truest face.

To reduce Qin Shiyue from developing too many feelings toward the version of herself in the drama, Lin Qingyi did not deliberately tease Qin Shiyue as she had before. She wanted to wait until the filming ended before talking about it. In fact, she was not cold to Qin Shiyue; she still treated Qin Shiyue as the most special, but she no longer actively acted ambiguous or tried to seduce her.

But when there is a comparison, there is a gap.

Qin Shiyue felt that Lin Qingyi might have noticed she had improper thoughts about her, so she was now drawing a line and not letting her sink too deep. This made Qin Shiyue feel extremely bitter. Maybe it was because Lin Qingyi’s attitude had been ambiguous before, making her fall fast, and by the time she realized it, she was already stuck deep in the mud. The obvious sense of loss made her unable to accept it. She even felt that it hurt her more than when she used to like Kong Huizhi. Kong Huizhi had never responded to her, but Lin Qingyi had once made her feel hopeful. She had once tasted that ambiguous, heart-hooking feeling, a feeling so close to love.

The two managers were also puzzled. Clearly, the ambiguity and liking between the two had been heating up, as if it was about to reach its ignition point, ready to catch fire at any moment. But somehow, the two suddenly cooled down sharply, returning to a sixty-degree state.

It was still obvious that they both liked each other quite a bit, but there was some strange awkwardness between them, as if both were holding back.

Fang Xinhua and Bai Wenxi were confused. They were both obviously single, so what was there to hold back? Wouldn’t it be better to happily fall in love?

….

Lin Qingyi’s clear and firm rejection made Kong Huizhi have no choice but to give up. She comforted herself, at least she had confessed and tried, so she could have no regrets. But when she thought about the goddess getting together with her ex-wife, it still felt very complicated.

Kong Huizhi pressed the elevator button, ready to go upstairs. As soon as she entered, and when the elevator door was about to close, someone held it. The doors opened again.

When Kong Huizhi saw clearly the woman outside smiling at her, her pupils unconsciously widened, and her heart fell into a panic.

Why was Qin Shilan appearing here? Was she here to settle scores with her? She knew Qin Shilan would not just let it go.

After the panic, Kong Huizhi finally reacted. She wanted to close the elevator door and not let this woman in, but it was already too late. The woman had already entered the elevator.

Kong Huizhi felt the space suddenly become cramped and unconsciously backed into the corner.

“Are you that surprised to see me?” Qin Shilan showed the gentlest, kindest smile, but her former sister-in-law shrank into the corner. For a moment, Qin Shilan felt like she was an evil witch.

But Qin Shilan did not think Kong Huizhi was that timid. Dumping her cute sister could still be forgiven, but being so eager to find the next good one, wasn't that a provocation to her?

“What do you want to do?” Kong Huizhi asked, pretending to be calm. She felt she had no reason to fear this woman, but in her heart, she could not help but raise every defense she had.

Qin Shilan’s body got closer and closer. Kong Huizhi was locked into a corner of the elevator with nowhere to retreat.

“Are you very afraid of me?” Qin Shilan asked softly, using the gentlest voice. She always thought she was gentle and could not understand why Kong Huizhi was so afraid of her. Could it be that when they were young, she had seen her two faces and could not wear a mask in front of her, so she felt uneasy?

“I am just worried you will use some method against me again. Now you really don’t have to waste your energy for your sister. She likes Lin Qingyi now, not me.” At this moment, Kong Huizhi felt glad that Qin Shiyue had already transferred her feelings. Otherwise, this crazy woman Qin Shilan definitely would not let her go.

“I know.” That was one of the reasons why she could now appear here with peace of mind and no burden.

“Then why do you still want to appear here?” Qin Shilan was the person Kong Huizhi least wanted to see. Since she did not need to stand up for Qin Shiyue, it seemed she had no reason to be here.

“Because of you.” Saying this made Qin Shilan feel very good.

Maybe it was because the secret had been held in for too long, and the feeling of being able to say it without restraint felt too good.

Author's Note: 

There’s a small theater on Weibo*

Red envelopes will be dropped randomly.

*Tried to dig this small theater out but unfortunately Weibo has a feature where user can hide posts older than six months, this chapter was in 2022, so no can do.