Chapter 177: Testing The Waters
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.
Xi Mo felt Ruan Yesheng’s warmth and weight on her shoulder.
Because when Ruan Yesheng buried herself on her shoulder, her cheek faced inward. So when Ruan Yesheng talked, her breath almost blew on Xi Mo’s neck. Xi Mo could feel the heat in Ruan Yesheng’s breath. Ruan Yesheng’s hair was soft and it brushed on the skin of her neck. It felt more and more itchy.
Thump.
Thump thump.
Xi Mo felt like her heartbeat got loud fast. It sounded in her ears. At first it was thump thump and it got faster. Then it became messy like it was out of her control.
Ruan Yesheng loved the smell on Xi Mo. When she wished her a Merry Christmas Eve, she couldn’t help but hold her tighter. There was even a small rubbing touch.
She didn’t have many chances to hug Xi Mo.
Right now was rare, so she used this holiday wish as a chance to hug her a little longer.
Ruan Yesheng thought greedily.
Xi Mo felt Ruan Yesheng move, and her own hand that hung stiff in the air moved too without control. Her hand slowly dropped and landed on Ruan Yesheng’s body. Her hand pressed on her.
One hand rested on Ruan Yesheng’s back, and the other held her waist.
The feeling of that touch came through the clothes. Ruan Yesheng felt a shock in her heart. She got a little dazed. Was Xi Mo hugging her back on purpose?
Xi Mo also tightened her arms and held Ruan Yesheng in her arms, steady and gentle. She answered Ruan Yesheng’s wish in a low voice. She said, “Yesheng, Merry Christmas Eve.”
Ruan Yesheng froze even more.
“Then do you like… the gift I gave you?” Xi Mo asked in a careful way. “I know I didn’t think well enough. It’s true you can’t wear it to the ceremony in the short term, but in private… you can wear it.”
“I like it,” Ruan Yesheng answered without pause.
How could she not like it?
She liked it so much she felt like she could die from it.
She liked this gift.
She liked Xi Mo.
Ruan Yesheng liked everything about Xi Mo. Even when Xi Mo looked unhappy, she still thought it was cute.
Her love inside swelled and filled her chest, almost so full she could hardly breathe. It hurt so much, she wanted to shout it out loud, right in front of Xi Mo. Maybe then she could take a little breath.
But she was scared.
What if…
What if Xi Mo only saw her as the best, closest friend? Xi Mo had very few friends, which meant when she truly trusted someone, she would give her all to that friend.
Ruan Yesheng wasn’t overly confident, but from all the signs, she concluded she must be Xi Mo’s true friend, maybe the only one. She could feel Xi Mo’s care. Otherwise, why would Xi Mo even give her a top luxury brand necklace as a Christmas Eve gift?
Was this how Xi Mo treated true friends?
Or… could it be that Xi Mo actually… might like her too?
Ruan Yesheng’s thoughts raced. The idea that Xi Mo might like her made her heart leap.
Two thoughts fought in her mind.
One thought encouraged her: “What are you hesitating for? She must like you. Otherwise, why is she always so good to you, so special to you? Why give you a top luxury necklace on Christmas Eve and say she wants to give you the most expensive?”
Ruan Yesheng felt restless. Her whole body was on fire.
But another thought poured cold water on her: “No doubt, you’re definitely her closest friend. She treats you the best. But she’s a total straight girl, a big wooden block. This is just how she treats her best friends. Giving a top luxury necklace is also just because she wants to be good to you. The necklace is expensive, sure, but considering her wealth, it’s nothing. For her, it might be just an ordinary gift. Don’t overthink it. If you confess, how will she continue acting around you? Right now, things are comfortable. You can tease her sometimes. Isn’t that enough? Why risk the awkwardness after a confession?”
Ruan Yesheng shivered, and the warmth in her body slowly cooled.
“You… just like it.” Xi Mo didn’t know what Ruan Yesheng was thinking. Seeing Ruan Yesheng happy with the Christmas Eve gift, she seemed relieved.
Ruan Yesheng didn’t let go, holding her tight.
“No matter what you give me, I’ll like it,” Ruan Yesheng said softly, tortured by the two thoughts. “You don’t need to worry about your gift not being good enough. To me, it’s all the best.”
“Mm,” Xi Mo murmured.
After a while, Ruan Yesheng sighed quietly and let go of Xi Mo. She wanted to keep hugging her, but holding too long might make Xi Mo feel strange.
Xi Mo pulled her hands back, unsure where to put them, letting them hang stiffly by her sides. Just now, it felt so good to have her hands on Ruan Yesheng, now the arms felt empty, and it was a little uncomfortable.
Ruan Yesheng sat on the edge of the bed, holding the necklace box like a treasure. Xi Mo walked over and sat beside her.
“I want to ask your opinion on something,” Ruan Yesheng said, thinking to test Xi Mo a bit, see how she feels about same-sex relationships.
“What is it?” Xi Mo asked.
“It’s just… a new movie is looking for me. They want me to play the female lead.” There was no such offer at all, but Ruan Yesheng made it up on the spot. Her acting was natural, and it sounded real.
“If a new project comes to you first, that’s good.” Xi Mo was happy for her, but she still started worrying. “Which director? What’s the lineup like? Did you get the script? But if the director isn’t good, or the script is weak, my advice is don’t take it. It will affect your future. Every work an actor takes will follow them all their life. Don’t act in a bad movie.”
Xi Mo’s words were blunt but sincere. She was truly thinking for Ruan Yesheng.
Ruan Yesheng couldn’t say too much since she made it up. And Xi Mo had a logical mind. If she talked more, she might slip. So she just said vaguely, “Actually, it’s… a lesbian movie.”
Xi Mo: “…”
“Do you think I can act in a lesbian movie?” Ruan Yesheng’s heart beat fast. She sent out a little test. “Am I suitable?”
But the real meaning in her heart was something else.
Do you think I can be your girlfriend?
Am I suitable?
She just couldn’t say it.
“That’s not about whether you’re suitable or not.” Xi Mo’s tone was a bit stiff, but her expression was serious as she explained, “Lesbian movies nowadays can’t pass the censorship. Even if you shot it, it couldn’t be released here, or at best could be sent abroad for festivals. It wouldn’t really help your career. Yes, there are some good same-sex themed films overseas that even won awards, but in our environment, it’s impossible.”
As she spoke, she seemed to sigh. The censorship system was exhausting sometimes. The best film market shouldn’t it be open to all kinds of stories? Why put on so many chains and restrictions?
Ruan Yesheng wasn’t surprised by Xi Mo’s answer. This was exactly the kind of advice Xi Mo would give her, every word considering her future carefully.
“Then what do you think about lesbian-themed movies?” Ruan Yesheng’s heart raced as she continued testing. “Not from the perspective of an actor’s career, just personally, as a viewer, would you be okay watching a lesbian movie? Would you feel… feel…”
She hesitated over her words. “Would you feel uninterested? Or maybe uncomfortable… with this kind of story?”
Xi Mo: “…”
“Did I ask something that made you uncomfortable?” Ruan Yesheng noticed Xi Mo’s odd expression and felt suddenly anxious.
“No.” Xi Mo’s gaze drifted slightly. “You’re asking about my personal feelings, right? Honestly… I’ve never watched a lesbian-themed film. I know some titles, some are quite famous, the leads are excellent, even won international awards, but I’ve never actually watched the full story. I can’t really give you a personal feeling about it.”
Ruan Yesheng’s heart skipped a beat.
Xi Mo has never watched a lesbian-themed movie in the real sense.
Ruan Yesheng always knows that Xi Mo likes to enjoy excellent movies. She even made a movie room at home. Inside, she keeps many films she thinks are classics. She watches them in her free time and she can learn different good acting skills from them.
Xi Mo values learning. She watches many great award-winning movies to see where their strengths are and why they can win awards. But she has never watched any award-winning lesbian-themed film.
Does this mean she resists this kind of feeling deep in her heart, so she doesn’t watch this kind of theme?
Ruan Yesheng panics. She doesn’t want her test to give her this kind of answer.
“Don't… you like this kind of theme?” Ruan Yesheng quickly asks. “You feel you can’t accept it, so you never watch it?”
“Not really.” Xi Mo is almost on pins and needles and she hurries to explain. “I don’t avoid any theme. Truly good works shouldn’t be limited or judged by their theme. That kind of bias is wrong. As long as the content is good enough, it deserves to be enjoyed. It’s just that there are too many good movies, and I don’t have endless time. So I haven’t watched… lesbian-themed ones.”
When Ruan Yesheng hears that Xi Mo doesn’t avoid it, she lets out a long breath.
…Thank goodness.
But she’s still nervous.
Xi Mo is an actress, and she’s an excellent one. Her attitude toward all kinds of film and TV themes must be open, because this is her job. As long as the work is good, she will respect it.
But if this kind of feeling falls on herself, and it touches her personal feelings, then it becomes a different kind of question.
Many straight women watch lesbian movies, or Baihe comics, or Baihe novels. As long as they think the content is good, it’s fine. But they still can’t like women in real life or date women.
These are two completely different feelings and ideas.
“Yesheng.” Xi Mo turns her face and looks at Ruan Yesheng. “Why… are you asking me this question?”
“I just got that kind of movie offer. I saw the theme and felt like chatting with you about it.” Ruan Yesheng keeps a calm face and smiles with narrowed eyes.
“…Mm.” Xi Mo nods.
“Then I won’t take it.” Ruan Yesheng naturally wipes away the movie offer that doesn’t exist and says, “The production team isn’t strong. If it was an excellent team trying for awards, then even if it can’t be shown at home and only goes to show abroad, it would still be nice. But they don’t have that skill. You’re right. I should pick good projects.”
“You don’t need to worry about resources.” Xi Mo thinks she’s anxious about having few offers now and quickly says, “You’ll have a lot of good resources later. Didn’t Pei Tingquan say he’d introduce some to you? His projects are all big ones. Focus on filming Gu Ru’s movie first. You won’t have any trouble with your schedule later.”
“Okay.” Ruan Yesheng smiles.
Xi Mo glances at the necklace box on her lap and says, “Act well. When you stand on the award stage in the future, your value will rise with the tide. By then, who will dare say you can’t borrow high-end brand necklaces? Those brands will come to you on their own and rush to invite you to be their ambassador.”
“Hope your words come true.” Ruan Yesheng feels her comfort is always so cute, and she smiles with bright eyes.
“Your looks and your aura fit high-end brand endorsements very well.” Xi Mo studies her face and says, “Those brands will choose you.”
Ruan Yesheng smiled and her eyes curved.
But in her heart, a voice asks,
Will you choose me?
Xi Mo.
They sit on the side of the bed and chat. It’s Christmas Eve, and both their phones get all kinds of Christmas Eve blessings.
The “Shanghai sisters who love each other” group is even lively, because Shen Qingbie finally has time to show up.
Shen Qingbie comes in with a big sticker greeting: “Sisters, Merry Christmas Eve!”
Lin Tingshuang responds first: “Sister Qingqing, Merry Christmas Eve.”
Ruan Yesheng types: “Merry Christmas Eve.”
Xi Mo saw that Ruan Yesheng replied, and she also sent a polite blessing.
Shen Qingbie was over the moon when she saw Xi Mo wish her a Merry Christmas Eve. She then posted a few food photos to show what she was eating. The filter she used made the food look very tasty, and there were some Christmas decorations around it. It seemed like someone set it up with care.
Knowing Shen Qingbie’s personality, she would not set these up herself. Ruan Yesheng knew this must be Yu An preparing it for her.
Yu An then showed up: “Merry Christmas Eve, everyone. Merry Christmas.”
Not long after, Lin Tingyu also came: “Merry Christmas Eve. A’Shuang, I left a gift for you before I left. Did you see it?”
Lin Tingshuang was very happy: “I saw it. Beijing is cold, so wear more.”
Lin Tingyu: “Okay. You also take good care of yourself. If anything happens, tell Auntie anytime. I will bring you something tasty when I come back.”
Lin Tingshuang: “Are you and Jiajia staying in the same hotel?”
Lin Tingyu: “Yes, my room is next to hers.”
Lin Tingshuang: “Then don’t bully Jiajia.”
Cui Jiayu could not stand it: “…Pfft, she wouldn't dare, even if she had ten guts.”
Back at Heizhugou, Ruan Yesheng already heard Cui Jiayu say she would follow to Beijing to keep an eye out and see if Yang Zhen would follow too. Lin Tingyu also said she would go to Beijing and wanted to see if she could work with Gu Ru’s team on publicity.
“Tingyu, you and Jiajia already got to Beijing?” Ruan Yesheng typed fast: “Why did you not tell me and Xi Mo? We can have dinner together.”
Lin Tingyu: “We just arrived not long ago, it's too late, we thought your script table read is tiring, so we didn't contact you, we just told you here. Tomorrow I'll go to Director Gu to talk about the promotion, then we'll eat together. Do you and Xi Mo have time?”
Ruan Yesheng: “We have time at noon and at night. Jiajia, come too.”
Cui Jiayu: “That's good, I'll go to your place and look around, see if there's any clue. You didn't find any strange person following you or anything wrong, right?”
Ruan Yesheng: “Not for now. It's calm.”
Cui Jiayu: “Then don't lower your guard, you must watch if there's anything unusual near you, but don't be too nervous. I'm here, if you find anything then tell me at once.”
Ruan Yesheng: “Thank you Jiajia.”
Xi Mo spoke little inside, she only sat at the side and watched Ruan Yesheng type and watched her smile.
“Shanghai sisters who love each other” became lively, and after that Shen Qingbie still wasn't satisfied, so she made a video call to Ruan Yesheng.
Ruan Yesheng picked it up, and on the screen Shen Qingbie's lively face came close. She wore a red reindeer antler decoration with a strong Christmas feeling. Her skin was snow white, she looked beautiful and radiant.
"Ruanruan." Shen Qingbie greeted, moving the camera to the food and chattering non-stop: "Yu An and I are having a late-night snack. Poor me, I haven't had a late-night snack in so long. Tonight's Christmas Eve, I can finally relax a bit, so I wanted something tasty. At first Yu An wouldn't agree, only let me sip porridge. It was so bland, I even got sick of it. I begged her for a while, then she finally let me have these snacks. But I can't eat too much, just a little of each, or Yu An will get mad."
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.
She moved the camera to Yu An: "Yu An, say hi to Ruanruan."
Yu An also wore red reindeer antlers, looking serious, but the antlers made her cutely contrast with her usual seriousness. She smiled at the camera and waved: "Ruanruan."
Ruan Yesheng waved back, then moved her phone to Xi Mo, wrapping an arm around her shoulder: "Xi Mo, say hi."
Xi Mo: "…"
Shen Qingbie was surprised and happy: "Xi Mo, you're here too? Wait, is this Ruanruan your hotel room, or Xi Mo's?"
Ruan Yesheng: "My room."
"So you’re both in the same room now?" Shen Qingbie laughed. In the 'Shanghai sisters who love each other' chat earlier, she hardly saw Xi Mo speak, so she didn’t know their situation.
Xi Mo quickly explained: "I came to give Yesheng her Christmas Eve gift, not to sleep together."
Shen Qingbie: "…"
Yu An: "…"
Ruan Yesheng: "…"
Xi Mo suddenly got tongue-tied: "…"
What am I even explaining!?
Am I sick?!
"Oh, I didn’t say… that you and Ruanruan are sleeping together." Shen Qingbie was confused, not sure why Xi Mo jumped in, but hearing Xi Mo mention a gift made her curious: "What Christmas Eve gifts did you give each other?"
Ruan Yesheng laughed inside, saying aloud: "I gave her a hand-knitted sweater, though it’s not done yet. Waiting for her to pick the style before starting."
"As for Xi Mo…" She was secretly thrilled: "She gave me a necklace."
"Show me, is it nearby?" Shen Qingbie hurriedly asked. "What’s the necklace like?"
"Can I show it to Qingqing?" Ruan Yesheng asked Xi Mo.
Xi Mo nodded.
Ruan Yesheng brought the camera close to the necklace, giving Shen Qingbie a close-up. Shen Qingbie saw the brand and design and was shocked: "This isn’t even out yet, Xi Mo actually gave you this? That's very generous!"
Ruan Yesheng’s lips curled, a faint trace of pride showing. Xi Mo gave it to her.
Shen Qingbie held her left hand up to the camera, wiggling her fingers: "Ruanruan, look at the Christmas Eve gift Yu An gave me, a ring. Pretty, right?"
Ruan Yesheng noticed the ring on Shen Qingbie’s left pinky. It was delicate, and while the brand wasn’t visible, the craftsmanship showed it must be valuable.
"It's pretty." Ruan Yesheng smiled.
But she found it a bit odd. Few people give rings as Christmas Eve gifts unless they’re a couple, since rings carry a very sensitive meaning..
Of course, some people just like wearing rings, sometimes several on one hand. Yan Mu plays music and usually wears a bunch of decorative rings. In that case, friends giving each other rings makes sense, just catering to their tastes.
But Shen Qingbie isn’t normally the type to wear rings, except for events where accessories are necessary. So why did Yu An pick a ring as her Christmas Eve gift? Was it meant for Shen Qingbie to wear to some gala, just as decoration?
Ruan Yesheng couldn’t really ask that, since it was Shen Qingbie and Yu An’s private business. Even as a friend, she shouldn’t pry too much.
Shen Qingbie, clearly excited after receiving the gift, wiggled her pinky and admitted in front of Ruan Yesheng and Xi Mo: "Actually, I wanted to buy this ring myself, but Yu An saw it and paid for it, saying it could be my Christmas Eve gift. She couldn’t think of anything else, saw I needed it, and bought it."
Ruan Yesheng found it stranger and stranger: "You’ve never bought a ring yourself before, right? The rings you wear to events are all gifts from brands. Why suddenly buy one? You usually don’t wear rings."
Yu An stayed quiet, head lowered.
Shen Qingbie waved her hand, complaining: "I wear it to block the reporters. You don’t know, lately the entertainment reporters have gone crazy, always asking when Qingqing will date, if she’s planning to, or if she’s already dating, going in circles. I have to keep saying no, not planning, not dating, and it’s really annoying. I just wanted a ring on my pinky to show my single stance. Every time they ask, I flash the ring, showing I’m single. Over time, they should get it. As long as I don’t take the ring off my pinky, they’ll understand."
Ruan Yesheng: "…"
Only Shen Qingbie could have such a bizarre and roundabout way of thinking.
Wearing a pinky ring does signal singlehood. But in the entertainment world, lots of stars wear rings, on any finger, sometimes all fingers, and for them, the hidden meaning of a ring isn’t that important.
Shen Qingbie, though, never wears rings except for events. So suddenly wearing one on her pinky, while claiming it’s for singlehood, kind of makes sense. Whether the reporters will play along, though, is another matter.
Yu An lifted her head, helpless: "She insisted on this ring, couldn’t stop her."
Ruan Yesheng smiled: "If Qingqing wants to wear it, let her."
But she thought ahead and said to Yu An as her manager: "This could cause problems later. If Qingqing keeps wearing a pinky ring and keeps saying it’s for singlehood, over time, reporters might tag her with that label. Her pinky ring equals being single. If someday she gets bored and stops wearing it, the reporters will overanalyze, think she’s dropped the singlehood stance and is dating, and of course rumors will start."
"I was thinking the same," Yu An frowned. "She can play now, but I’m worried she won’t know when to stop later."
"Shen Qingbie has had lots of rumors, never publicly admitted, all for publicity, not real," Xi Mo said calmly. "But the more those rumors exist, the more media will cling to her love life for content. If she insists on wearing the pinky ring to show singlehood, it separates her from the rumors. But the moment she stops wearing it, reporters will see it as a huge change. Hot searches are inevitable, and they’ll assume she’s dating. Whether your company wants the attention from this kind of hot search is up to you."
Shen Qingbie was thrilled to hear Xi Mo speak: "Xi Mo, so you actually pay attention to my image in front of the reporters?"
Xi Mo: "…"
"Thanks, Xi Mo." Yu An felt the sincerity and goodwill in Xi Mo’s analysis. She said, "The company’s direction is set. Before, to boost attention, every new drama had to pair Qingqing in fake rumors. But now she’s stable, I’m against using those rumors anymore. We won’t set them up for her again."
"Then she should be careful with that pinky ring," Xi Mo suggested. "Either don’t wear it, or if she does, it’ll be hard to take off unless she’s really ready to date and doesn’t care about going public."
Yu An frowned slightly.
Shen Qingbie, who had been proud of her genius idea for the pinky ring, now heard Yu An, Ruan Yesheng, and Xi Mo seriously analyzing it. She felt like they thought her plan was silly. Like an eggplant hit by frost, she pouted: "You think I shouldn’t wear it? But I really want to. I think this method is perfect for dealing with reporters’ old questions."
"If you really want to wear it, just play around with it," Yu An said, at her wit’s end.
When she saw Shen Qingbie about to buy the ring, even knowing this pinky-ring-singlehood plan wasn’t great, she went along and paid for it without a word.
"It’s not playing, I’m serious!" Shen Qingbie said. "My idea to wear a pinky ring isn’t sudden. The reporters keep asking me about dating and marriage. I hate it. I’m a staunch advocate of singlehood, I don’t like anyone, never have, and won’t get married. My mom divorced because of domestic abuse. I fear marriage and dating. If I ever date, I’ll be a pig."
Yu An: "…"
She felt like a thousand arrows had pierced her chest, almost bleeding everywhere.
When Xi Mo heard Shen Qingbie’s words, her eyes froze.
Shen Qingbie’s mom divorced because of domestic abuse?
This long rant of hers, Xi Mo had seen it somewhere. It felt familiar. She remembered a fan letter that mentioned the same thing. Was it a coincidence?
"Don’t talk like it’s final." Ruan Yesheng saw Shen Qingbie getting serious and hurried to say with a smile, "Or if you date later, you’ll be a pig."
"I won’t date." Shen Qingbie shook her pinky ring again. "I, Shen Qingbie, will stay single till I die. You’re all here, be my witnesses."
Yu An: "…"
How could she like this foolish girl?
She… felt like crashing her head somewhere.
Shen Qingbie’s decision to wear the pinky ring couldn’t be pulled back even with eight bulls. Yu An didn’t plan to talk her out of it anymore, so let her be. Shen Qingbie brightened up again and happily showed Ruan Yesheng and Xi Mo the gift she had given Yu An.
She gave Yu An a pair of earrings.
Yu An was wearing them now, a tiny sparkle at her earlobe, like bright stars.
"All your Christmas Eve gifts, a necklace, a ring, earrings…" Ruan Yesheng let out a self‑mocking smile. "My hand‑knitted sweater got overshadowed. It’s too cheap, I can’t show it."
"Who said that?" Xi Mo frowned at once, unhappy. "I only want the hand‑knitted sweater."
Ruan Yesheng looked at her and smiled.
It was late, and the four of them ended the video call.
Yu An took off the red reindeer antler headband, her mood heavy.
"A’Yu, what's wrong?" Shen Qingbie asked her. "Weren't you just chatting happily with Ruanruan and Xi Mo? Why do you look unhappy?"
"I'm not unhappy, I also like chatting with Ruanruan and Xi Mo," Yu An said, glancing at the ring on Shen Qingbie's pinky finger. She asked softly, "Are you really not planning to… date?"
Shen Qingbie nodded. "The company used to make rumors about me. It really upset me. I'm not used to that way. But I know it's just the company's way to boost my popularity. I have to cooperate. But in real life, my real love choices are my own. I really don’t have thoughts of dating, and I don’t plan to marry."
"We won’t make rumors about you anymore," Yu An said with lowered brows. "When we created scandals, I… felt very bad too. But it was the company's big plan. At that time, I couldn’t decide alone. But from now on, I promise I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want."
Her voice grew softer, her eyes even a little red. "You don’t want to keep selling your old image, and I won’t force you. That really is tiring for you. Luckily, the variety show went well, many fans noticed your real life is different from what the media shows. This contrast can help you gradually break free from the old image and be your true self in front of the media. Qingqing, from now on, you can do whatever you want. I will talk to the company."
"A’Yu." Shen Qingbie sensed something was wrong with Yu An. "Did I make you angry again? Are you just saying that out of anger?"
Yu An lifted her eyes, gazing at her. "I mean it."
Shen Qingbie was taken aback.
A’Yu’s eyes looked so gentle.
“But you still can’t eat too much. Let’s keep it at a level that can satisfy your craving and also won’t hurt your body, alright?” Yu An said in a soft voice. “As an artist, body control is important. We can’t drop this rule, and it’s also good for your health.”
“…A’Yu.” Shen Qingbie felt touched for no reason. She walked over and hugged Yu An. “Okay.”
Shen Qingbie’s hand pressed on Yu An’s back, and the ring on her pinky seemed a bit hard against the touch.
Yu An felt the cold from that ring and held her tighter.
If Shen Qingbie didn’t want to date, then she wouldn’t. As long as Shen Qingbie… is happy.
Even though Shen Qingbie would not like her, Shen Qingbie also said she would stay single in the future. That meant no one else could have Shen Qingbie either. When Yu An thought of that, her sadness eased a little.
It was fine if she just kept looking at her like this.
“A’Yu, will you date in the future?” Shen Qingbie murmured. “Will you get married?”
Yu An froze a little. “Why are you asking this?”
“I don’t want to date, and I don’t want to marry.” Shen Qingbie could not hold it in and said the thoughts she kept for a long time, with shame. “But I also hope you won’t date, and won’t marry. We can stay good sisters all our lives. Am… am I being selfish?”
Yu An: “…”
Qingqing… what does that mean?
Yu An felt her heart turn cold then warm, warm then cold again. She could not figure out what Shen Qingbie was thinking at all.
But when she heard Shen Qingbie’s wish, her heartbeat sounded like drums.
“I… can also not date anyone else, and not marry anyone else,” Yu An said. Her usual logic fell apart, and she spoke almost without thinking. “We can… stay like this and live our whole life.”
She was a genius manager, good with words, and she did not make the sentence absolute.
She wouldn't date others, and she wouldn't marry others.
But it didn’t affect the desire deep in her heart to date Shen Qingbie, and even to marry her. Because Shen Qingbie isn't others.
And she knew this silly Qingqing would not hear the hidden meaning.
Sure enough, Shen Qingbie brightened up. She let go of the hug and looked at her. “Really?”
“Really.” Yu An nodded with a smile.
“Then I will buy you a single ring too,” Shen Qingbie said. “You can wear it on your pinky like me?”
“No.” Yu An refused coldly.
Shen Qingbie: “…”
Okay then. If A’Yu doesn't want it, she doesn't want it.
But she was so happy. A’Yu actually agreed to this.
This was the thing that troubled her for a long time. She hoped A’Yu would not date and would not marry, but she was also scared that she was being selfish and meddling in Yu An’s life. She even wrote about it in a fan letter to Xi Mo.
She never thought that on this Christmas Eve, A’Yu would give her such a big surprise.
Sure enough, A’Yu was her closest sister in this world.
“But you… can buy me a ring,” Yu An said, her eyes turning a little as she changed her words. “I just don’t want to wear it on my pinky. It is too showy. I will just keep it.”
“No problem.” Shen Qingbie thought it made sense. A’Yu was very low-key. She giggled. “I will buy you a ring tomorrow. The most beautiful kind.”
Yu An’s lips curved. She hid her smile.
…Little fool.
….
Xi Mo went back to her room. After taking a shower, she leaned on her bed.
She had no sleepiness at all, so she picked up her tablet and opened the browser. She did not know why, but she started browsing things like “Which classic award-winning lesbian movies are good,” and then she picked the one with the best reviews and started watching it.
As she watched, she felt the filming was very good.
The atmosphere between the two female leads was handled very well. With several details, she could feel the deep feelings between the two.
The more she watched, the more she felt something subtle.
A woman falling in love with a woman was actually… quite beautiful.
Xi Mo sank into the movie and watched with focus.
When she had watched almost half, Ruan Yesheng sent her a message:
“Xi Mo, I have some thoughts about the movie. I want to discuss something with you about ‘Seeing This Letter Is Like Meeting You In Person.’ Are you free?”
“I’m free.” Xi Mo put down the tablet at once and picked up her phone to type. “Go ahead.”
Ruan Yesheng also sat at her bedside. She was a little nervous. She could not sleep at all. Two voices kept fighting in her mind. One voice hinted that maybe Xi Mo liked her. The other voice told her not to overthink.
She could not hold it anymore and wanted to test Xi Mo.
“It is about ‘Seeing This Letter Is Like Meeting You In Person.’ Don’t you think it feels like a lesbian movie that made everything very subtle just to pass review?”
Xi Mo: “…”
Ruan Yesheng rushed to keep typing. Her words looked very serious, as if she was only thinking hard for the role.
“I just feel unsure about the emotional understanding between the two characters. Because Yu Miao and Xiao Ruojin, the two female leads, their feelings for each other in the movie are very deep, but never stated. And there are many scenes of them together, like shopping, eating, gardening together, small daily things. Even though these parts are short, they feel very natural, like they are… lovers. Director Gu did not explain how she wanted us to act it. I don’t know if she wants us to act love or friendship.”
She asked, “Xi Mo, how do you understand it? Can you tell me? Before filming starts, we need to find the emotional basis of the characters. I feel like I haven’t found it. I’m a little lost. Can you help me?”
Xi Mo stared at Ruan Yesheng’s message for a long time before she replied, “...I’m also not sure how Gu Ru wants us to act. The emotional setting in this script is very vague.”
“Then what do you think the feeling between Yu Miao and Xiao Ruojin is more like?” Ruan Yesheng tried again. “I think it is like love. What about you?”
“…I don’t know.” Xi Mo replied. “We can ask Gu Ru.”
Ruan Yesheng looked at the message on the screen and sighed.
“Alright.” She typed back. “Then we can only ask the director. I don’t have anything else. You were about to sleep, right? I didn’t bother you?”
“You didn’t.” Xi Mo answered at once. “I wasn’t sleeping. I was watching a movie.”
“What movie?”
“Just an art film.” Xi Mo started sweating for no reason. She gave Ruan Yesheng the name of a very famous art film. “Revisiting A Classic.”
Ruan Yesheng believed it, thinking it was really the movie Xi Mo said.
“It is indeed a classic. It is worth watching again. Then keep watching, but don’t watch too late. You need to sleep. You can continue tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“Good night, Xi Mo.” Ruan Yesheng sent her a voice message.
Xi Mo also used voice to tell Ruan Yesheng good night.
Ruan Yesheng lay down, but she still tossed and turned.
Xi Mo kept watching the movie and couldn’t sleep either.
So the next day, both of them woke up late.
Author's Note:
Ruanruan pulled the petals one by one. “She likes me. She only sees me as her best friend. She likes me. She only sees me as her best friend. She likes me…”
Xi Mo: “I’m actually a lesbian.”
Shen Qingbie: “I’m a pig!”
Yu An: “I’m not angry. As long as I can get the ring. It is close enough to wearing a wedding ring with the little fool.”
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