Chapter 190: Snow Kiss
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.
“Who said I’m scared?” Xi Mo snorted softly.
But inside, she felt empty for no reason, and also a little uneasy. Things have been calm lately. Lin Tingyu and Cui Jiayu had stayed in Beijing for some time, and they hadn’t found any clues about Yang Zhen. She and Ruan Yesheng had both fully thrown themselves into the film shoot. Yet when she had free time like now and looked at Ruan Yesheng, she would sometimes fall into a strange worry.
Was it because of these past six months of unbelievable experiences, and the hidden dangers lurking in the dark, that she had become like this? Maybe she needed to keep herself busy all the time, so she could shift her attention.
“You really seem a bit distracted.” Ruan Yesheng was observant and noticed Xi Mo’s change. Her tone turned more serious.
Xi Mo glanced at the ground and didn’t answer right away.
Ruan Yesheng studied her face and said softly, “Do you have something on your mind?”
Xi Mo shook her head.
After a long while, she said, “I don’t have anything on my mind. I’m just afraid something might happen.”
“There won’t.” Ruan Yesheng knew what Xi Mo was worried about and comforted her gently. “We’re all safe. There are so many people on set. Even if someone is watching from behind, they won’t dare act in front of so many people. But…”
Ruan Yesheng shifted her words slightly. “After we wrap and go back to private time, we do need to be more careful.”
“Did you notice something?” Xi Mo lowered her voice.
“It’s just a feeling.” Ruan Yesheng smiled.
At that moment, Gu Ru called Ruan Yesheng over to prepare for blocking. Ruan Yesheng answered quickly, reminded Xi Mo of a few things, then walked briskly toward Gu Ru.
Xi Mo sat quietly and watched Ruan Yesheng move around in the set with Gu Ru.
The set was Yu Miao’s old rented house, full of a sense of age. Gu Ru had very high demands for set design and lighting. Even a small prop placement could hide her intention. Because she was so careful, when all the staff were in place, the lights were set, and positions were ready, the image on the camera monitor looked vivid and natural, as if Yu Miao had truly come alive in this moment of reality.
Ruan Yesheng leaned against the windowsill and looked at the withered flower pot there. The camera pushed in for a close-up of her eyes. There wasn’t much light in them. But when she looked at the dead flowers, there was still a trace of final reluctance. The light shifted with the camera, and her eyes were half bright, half dark.
She was beautiful.
Yu Miao was also portrayed as beautiful at this moment. Sadly, this was Yu Miao’s last life moment. She would end everything in her most beautiful state.
Ruan Yesheng leaned closer and kissed the withered petals, whispering, “Goodbye. Never… see you again.”
So the Yu Miao in the story severed her connection with life.
This was Yu Miao’s first death scene. She was tortured by inner pain and had fallen completely into despair. In this timeline, she hadn’t met Xiao Ruojin yet, hadn’t written letters with her, and hadn’t received Xiao Ruojin’s encouragement. This goodbye was only a farewell to her lonely self.
The report said Yu Miao cut her wrist and killed herself. Gu Ru didn’t shoot any direct wrist-cutting scenes. She only filmed a close-up of Yu Miao leaning against the window. Gu Ru pursued visual beauty, and her death aesthetics were heartbreaking.
Ruan Yesheng wore a red dress. Her head slowly drooped, and her long hair fell down, covering her thin shoulders.
Xi Mo watched her. For a moment, it felt like she was seeing Yu Miao’s first death. For another moment, she vaguely remembered the life-and-death moments she and Ruan Yesheng had experienced together. This death wasn’t witnessed by Xiao Ruojin in person. She could only piece together half-true records through reports three years later. But Xi Mo, who played Xiao Ruojin, saw it. Yet she wasn’t looking at Yu Miao. She was only looking at Ruan Yesheng.
Ruan Yesheng closed her eyes.
Yu Miao died.
Xi Mo’s heart tightened suddenly. She almost uncontrollably stood up and took a few steps forward. When she realized she was just on set, she relaxed slightly, forced herself to calm down, stepped back, and sat down again. But her hand subconsciously pressed against her chest.
Everything in front of her was required by the script. It was all fake.
But… what if something really happened to Ruan Yesheng?
Xi Mo resisted this thought, yet she couldn’t stop herself from thinking.
Ruan Yesheng’s death scenes were filmed smoothly. As the day neared its end, snow began to fall in the evening, drifting down thickly, as if a heavy snowfall was coming.
Gu Ru was very happy. She had been waiting for this snow for a long time. With this snow exterior, the most important emotional turning-point scene in her mind could be filmed. She gathered Ruan Yesheng and Xi Mo after wrap and told them to prepare well for tomorrow’s kiss scene. If the snow reached the expected thickness, filming would begin.
The film wouldn’t show an actual kissing shot. But Gu Ru wanted the traces of something that had naturally existed. The final approved footage could have no kiss, but the kiss had to have existed. Other traces would record it and convey it to viewers who understood these visual details, through another subtle editing method.
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.
After Gu Ru left, Xi Mo still felt dazed, unable to describe the feeling.
She and Ruan Yesheng were about to film a kiss scene?
She had been mentally prepared before. The whole crew was waiting for this snow. But when the snow truly arrived, it still felt unreal.
“What are you spacing out for?” Ruan Yesheng smiled and tugged her arm.
Xi Mo snapped back.
“Are you nervous?” Ruan Yesheng tilted her head slightly. “Because of our… kiss scene?”
Her last word carried a bit of ambiguity, the ending tone lightly rising.
“…No.” Xi Mo steadied herself and said, “This is just work. I won’t be nervous because of work.”
“Then what would make you nervous?” Ruan Yesheng asked.
Xi Mo looked at her and didn’t answer, but she already had an answer in her heart.
When she watched Ruan Yesheng perform those death scenes today, she was nervous.
She would be nervous because of Ruan Yesheng.
Even if those things weren’t real.
Seeing her stunned, Ruan Yesheng patted her shoulder and turned away.
“Wait, where are you going?” Xi Mo suddenly felt afraid she would leave and quickly called out.
Ruan Yesheng looked at her with more amusement. “We wrapped. Of course I’m going to eat dinner. Aren’t you coming?”
Xi Mo felt a bit awkward but still followed quickly.
Ruan Yesheng naturally linked arms with her. “The weather forecast seems accurate. Tomorrow there willl definitely be thick snow.”
“The weather forecast?” Xi Mo frowned.
Ruan Yesheng glanced at her. “I’ve been checking the weather forecast every day lately.”
Xi Mo: “…”
“What about you?” Ruan Yesheng said. “Have you… been checking it too?”
Xi Mo seemed to hear the expectation in her words but didn’t know how to answer.
The next day, just like the forecast Ruan Yesheng mentioned, the snow was deep. Outside Xiao Ruojin’s villa garden set, everything was already a bright white. Gu Ru specifically told everyone to protect the garden and not step on it casually. She needed a completely intact, untouched pure white world.
Today’s important kiss scene took place in Xiao Ruojin’s garden. In the timeline, three years later, Xiao Ruojin saved Yu Miao for the first time through letters. Yu Miao didn’t kill herself like in the original timeline. She continued living and gradually walked out of the shadows with Xiao Ruojin’s help.
When a person has new hope, even if that spark is weak and trembling, they will still try to hold on.
Xiao Ruojin was Yu Miao’s hope.
Because the time track changed, Yu Miao met Xiao Ruojin from three years earlier. That Xiao Ruojin didn’t know what had happened. But through getting along with Yu Miao, she gradually fell in love with her. Every moment she spent with Yu Miao flowed with time and was etched into the memories of Xiao Ruojin three years later, carving layers of heartbeats. Those overlapping images in her mind switched like a film, yet she couldn’t tell the truth through letters.
Yu Miao wrote to the Xiao Ruojin from three years later. “I’m drawing a manhua. One character falls in love with someone, but she isn’t sure if the other person likes her too. How should I continue drawing it?”
The Xiao Ruojin from three years later replied firmly. “The other person definitely likes her.”
Yu Miao felt happy reading it and also wanted to laugh. “Why are you so sure?”
Xiao Ruojin didn’t explain directly and spoke in circles. “Because I just know.”
Yu Miao felt a bit down. “But she doesn’t know if the other person really knows. Sometimes she feels it’s love. Sometimes she’s afraid it’s just friendship.”
Xiao Ruojin acted as her love advisor and said seriously. “Draw a scene where she goes and kisses the other person. See if the other person responds. If they kiss back, it’s love. If they run away, it’s not.”
Yu Miao was startled, but her eyes lit up like flowers in bloom. “She doesn’t dare. If the other person could kiss her first, that would be great.”
Xiao Ruojin replied cryptically. “Maybe… they will? It depends on how you want to draw it.”
After this letter exchange with Xiao Ruojin from three years later, the scene of Yu Miao and Xiao Ruojin from three years earlier in the garden followed. Snow fell heavily. The white snow covered the flowers Xiao Ruojin planted, only faintly showing leaves beneath the crystal surface. Many flowers withered in winter, but some seasonal ones still bloomed.
Yu Miao and Xiao Ruojin lay side by side in the snow. There was nothing around them, only snow.
The scene belonged only to the two of them, lonely and quiet.
“I used to think winter had no flowers. Even if there were, I couldn’t see them.” Yu Miao watched the falling snowflakes and said. “But in your garden, even in winter, so many flowers are blooming.”
“Next spring, there will be even more.” Xiao Ruojin from three years earlier knew Yu Miao’s medical history and always encouraged her quietly. “You can come anytime.”
“I will.” Yu Miao turned her face and looked at Xiao Ruojin.
Ruan Yesheng turned in the snow and looked at Xi Mo, saying Yu Miao’s line. “I will.”
Her gaze was calm and shimmering, like frozen ice and flowing water at the same time. These two feelings blended perfectly, like a rose slowly blooming in ice and snow.
Xiao Ruojin from three years earlier was moved for Yu Miao.
At this moment, Xi Mo also gazed at Ruan Yesheng the same way. She said, “I’ll plant more flowers. Next year, the year after, and every season after that. You’ll see different views.”
“Okay.” Ruan Yesheng smiled.
She lay in the snow. Her hair was a bit messy and dusted with snow.
Here, Xiao Ruojin saw Yu Miao like this and raised her hand to tidy her. So Xi Mo reached out, her fingers touching Ruan Yesheng’s cheek, gently brushing the snow from her hair.
Xi Mo’s fingertips were cold, but her breath was hot, turning into white mist.
The distance between them in the snow was so close, maybe only the distance where their breaths touched.
—She doesn’t dare. If the other person could kiss her first, that would be great.
—Maybe… they will? It depends on how you want to draw it.
In the script, after the reply from Xiao Ruojin three years later echoed, Xiao Ruojin from three years earlier kissed Yu Miao.
Ruan Yesheng and Xi Mo looked at each other in the white snow. Xi Mo’s hand brushing away the snow slowly turned into stroking her hair.
The camera cut to a close-up of Xi Mo’s eyes. Her gaze looked like melting snow water.
Ruan Yesheng looked into her eyes and remembered a sentence she once read somewhere.
If someone loves you, besides love, when they look at you, there will also be desire. But it’s a clean and pure desire.
This love makes desire no longer a beast, but a natural surge of emotion.
Ruan Yesheng had never seen this kind of loving yet desirous gaze in Xi Mo before. For a moment, she wasn’t sure if Xi Mo was acting. Her heart pounded wildly.
Snow fell on their hair and long lashes, then melted from their body heat.
The cold winter wind howled by their ears, making the snowfield seem even quieter.
Amid Ruan Yesheng’s racing heartbeat, Xi Mo’s hand slid down from her hair to her face. She leaned closer and kissed her lips.
