Chapter 79: Caring

Qin Shiyue hugged herself. She didn’t know how long Lin Qingyi had been gone, and she didn’t know how long she had cried. The moisture in her eyes slowly drained away. Eyes without enough moisture began to feel sore and painful. The tear marks on her face were not fully dry yet, and her eyes were badly red and swollen. But the physical discomfort was far less than the pain in her heart. She felt as if her heart had been pierced by a burning steel wire. Lin Qingyi’s words were stuck and burning at her chest.

Clearly, she was the one in the wrong. Clearly, she lacked self-awareness. Clearly, Lin Qingyi was not wrong. But Qin Shiyue was still very sad. She even began to hate herself. Even though she felt she wasn’t liked that much by Lin Qingyi, that understanding also made her sad. Still, she couldn’t bear to let her emotions spread outward to Lin Qingyi. She forced her emotions inward and pushed herself into a cold, dark corner. She felt all of this was self-inflicted. If only she were a bit more capable, a bit more useful, maybe the result would be different. Knowing clearly that she wasn’t good enough, yet still holding onto luck, only made her look even more foolish.

After Qin Shiyue blamed everything on herself, she began to worry about Lin Qingyi who had left. She worried Lin Qingyi would keep being angry with her. She worried that after seeing her true nature clearly, Lin Qingyi would stop liking her, or even break up. These thoughts made Qin Shiyue feel panicked.

Qin Shiyue wanted to find her phone, but the more anxious she got, the less she could find it. She cried again in panic. She felt she couldn’t do anything right and had messed everything up. Just like Lin Qingyi said, without her sister, she was nothing.

Just as Qin Shiyue was giving up on herself, there was movement at the door again.

It was close to evening. The sky outside had already grown dim, and the room was even darker.

Lin Qingyi opened the door and saw that the room was dark. It wasn’t pitch-black, but it wasn’t hard to guess that Qin Shiyue inside likely had no energy to care about the surroundings. Thinking that someone had been sad the whole time since she left, her heart softened again. She felt that what she said earlier really was a bit too much.

Qin Shiyue heard the sound and immediately looked toward the door. The moment it opened, outside light seeped in. Seeing Lin Qingyi, she felt that a bit of light also seeped into her heart that was full of cold darkness. Seeing Lin Qingyi come back, she was clearly happy, but her tears fell even harder.

The room was too dark. Lin Qingyi could only see Qin Shiyue’s outline and couldn’t see her expression or face clearly. After she turned on the light, she saw Qin Shiyue’s face covered in tears, her eyes badly red and swollen, and her nose also bright red. She didn’t know how long Qin Shiyue had cried. Maybe she had been crying nonstop since she left. Thinking that Qin Shiyue had cried for a full four or five hours, Lin Qingyi felt extreme heartache.

“Baby.” Lin Qingyi didn’t even have time to take off her shoes. She quickly walked into the living room and pulled the tear-soaked Qin Shiyue into her arms.

Hearing Lin Qingyi call her Baby, Qin Shiyue knew Lin Qingyi hadn’t given up on her. Only then did her heart truly come back to life. Qin Shiyue tightly hugged Lin Qingyi in return. At this moment, she felt that as long as Lin Qingyi still liked her, nothing else mattered.

“I won’t act anymore. I won’t act anymore. Don’t be angry with me again. Let’s make up, okay?” Qin Shiyue cried as she spoke, choking as she took the initiative and asked to reconcile.

“I’m not angry anymore. Let’s make up.” Lin Qingyi gently soothed Qin Shiyue’s head, letting her lean on her shoulder, and said softly.

The gentle words and warm embrace were like the most effective painkiller. The moment it was injected, it eased the pain of her heart that had been cramped into a tight ball. Her heart, no longer hurting so badly, slowly began to relax again, little by little.

Qin Shiyue was more greedy for the warmth Lin Qingyi gave her than ever before. She hugged Lin Qingyi even tighter.

Lin Qingyi knew that at this moment, no comforting words were better than her embrace to calm Qin Shiyue. She could feel that Qin Shiyue was afraid of losing her. So she had made her this uneasy. Lin Qingyi felt a bit guilty. Even if Qin Shiyue was wrong, her own attitude should have been gentler. She shouldn’t have left her behind.

After a long time, Qin Shiyue’s crying finally stopped, and her emotions gradually calmed down.

“I really won’t act anymore.” After calming down, Qin Shiyue said it again. She had completely given up on this double female lead drama. Even in the future, she wouldn’t ask Lin Qingyi to act with her again. The same sadness and self-humiliation was something she didn’t want to experience a second time.

Hearing Qin Shiyue say again that she wouldn’t act, it was like a child who had made a mistake repeatedly promising not to do it again. Lin Qingyi felt a stab in her chest and felt heartache again. She knew Qin Shiyue might not be mature enough, but she wasn’t unreasonable. If spoken to properly, she would listen. But when Lin Qingyi was angry, she said such hurtful words.

“Baby, I’m sorry. I was too harsh on you. There should’ve been a better way to solve this.” Lin Qingyi apologized to Qin Shiyue. She wouldn’t allow herself to make the same mistake a second time.

Qin Shiyue didn’t expect Lin Qingyi to take the initiative to apologize. She knew Lin Qingyi wasn’t wrong. But the way Lin Qingyi had spoken without mercy still made her feel uncared for. At this moment, Lin Qingyi’s apology made Qin Shiyue truly feel that Lin Qingyi cared about her. Lin Qingyi’s care was more important to Qin Shiyue than anything else. At this moment, her heart finally felt relieved. It wasn’t that Lin Qingyi didn’t care. It was that she herself had been too willful.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I really deserved to be scolded. Knowing clearly my acting skills are bad, yet still willfully grabbing other people’s resources, that really was lacking self-awareness. I won’t do this again. As long as you’re not angry with me, I’m very happy.” Qin Shiyue buried her face in Lin Qingyi’s shoulder and quietly reflected on her mistakes.

“Actually, I’m not completely without fault either. After leaving, I seriously thought about it. Before, I only considered myself and didn’t think about you. Acting in this drama really would help you a lot. I should help you. If you really want to act in this drama, then act. I’ll act with you.” Lin Qingyi told Qin Shiyue her decision.

She actually agreed? Qin Shiyue was extremely shocked, followed by joy and emotion. She didn’t know what made Lin Qingyi change her mind. She knew Lin Qingyi didn’t want to act with her, but Lin Qingyi was willing to make such a big concession for her sake. The meaning of Lin Qingyi’s compromise had already gone far beyond this matter itself. To Qin Shiyue, this was a huge and unexpected surprise.

Even though this surprise hit her, Qin Shiyue wasn’t as hot-headed as before. She was calmer than earlier. She knew Lin Qingyi was accommodating her. But she could no longer accept that accommodation without thinking, like before. She didn’t want to become Lin Qingyi’s burden. Lin Qingyi, who was with her, should become better, not worse because of her. With Lin Qingyi’s sacrifice as contrast, Qin Shiyue now realized how childish, willful, and selfish her earlier behavior was. She even felt a kind of shame with nowhere to hide.

“I wanted to act before because once filming starts, it lasts more than half a year. If I didn’t film with you, I’d definitely have other work. Then we wouldn’t be together. We’d see each other less and be apart more. We just started dating, and I couldn’t bear to be apart from you. That’s why I wanted to work with you. And you were filming a dual female lead drama with another woman. I was a bit jealous. Now I’ve thought it through. I also feel it’s better to separate feelings from work.” Qin Shiyue explained her original intention for grabbing the female lead. Thinking about it now, she really wasn’t mature. After this, Qin Shiyue warned herself to learn from this lesson and not be so emotion-driven again.

Lin Qingyi kissed Qin Shiyue’s temple. Qin Shiyue cared about her so much, yet she hadn’t understood her feelings at all back then and had been so harsh. No wonder her eyes were swollen from crying. She must have been extremely sad.

“Mm. Then this time we won’t separate. We’ll act together. I think accompanying the person you like as they grow is a happy thing, and also a very challenging thing.” This decision did have an element of accommodation at first, but at this moment, Lin Qingyi felt more willingness in her heart.

Qin Shiyue shook her head. Lin Qingyi being willing to change her decision for her was already a huge surprise and joy. She couldn’t be greedy anymore. Qin Shiyue’s thoughts were completely different from before. She still hoped to have the chance to act with Lin Qingyi one day. But she hoped that day would come because her own ability was enough, enough to match Lin Qingyi, not because of Lin Qingyi’s accommodation.

Lin Qingyi felt that Qin Shiyue probably still wanted to act with her. This refusal was more likely because she felt embarrassed. After all, what Lin Qingyi had said earlier was indeed too harsh, and Qin Shiyue’s pride had been hurt, so she couldn’t step down yet. This matter was settled like this. Once the contract was signed, Qin Shiyue would feel more at ease. Lin Qingyi would give her a good step to come down.

Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=5821232
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com

“In the future, you need to discuss things like this with me first. Don’t act first and report later again, letting me be the last to know. That makes me feel not respected and not trusted by you.” Lin Qingyi felt that a big part of her anger earlier was because Qin Shiyue had hidden such a big matter from her.

“How would I dare to do that again?” Qin Shiyue said softly. Thinking about that scene still made her scared.

“Was I really very fierce back then?” Lin Qingyi asked.

Qin Shiyue felt Lin Qingyi wasn’t fierce. She was cold. Her expression was cold, her tone was cold, and her words were like cold arrows, arrow after arrow hitting her heart, almost shooting it into a honeycomb. Experiencing that once was enough to be afraid. She didn’t dare make Lin Qingyi angry again.

“When you’re angry with me in the future, you can go to another room. You can ignore me. But don’t leave, okay?” Compared to Lin Qingyi being angry, Qin Shiyue seemed more afraid of her leaving. That made her feel abandoned and even caused wild thoughts.

“Mm, I won’t.” Lin Qingyi thought that even if Qin Shiyue hadn’t asked, she would still pay attention to this.

A couple after the rain clears seemed to care about each other more than before the quarrel.

At night, Qin Shiyue clung to Lin Qingyi as they lay on the bed together. From the time Lin Qingyi came back until now, she had almost been glued to her. But her eyes were very sore from crying too long in the afternoon, so she had to close them to let them feel better.

“My eyes hurt.” After closing her eyes, Qin Shiyue acted spoiled toward Lin Qingyi.

“I’ll massage them for you.” Lin Qingyi gently rubbed Qin Shiyue’s badly swollen eyes with her fingertips.

Lin Qingyi’s soothing touch made Qin Shiyue’s eyelids and heart feel extremely comfortable and peaceful.

“Lin Qingyi.” Qin Shiyue murmured softly.

“Mm?” Lin Qingyi responded gently.

“You’re the best Lin Qingyi in the world.” The Lin Qingyi who cared about her and was willing to change her decision for her was the best Lin Qingyi in the world.

Hearing this, Lin Qingyi curved her lips. Such an easily satisfied silly Baby. She wasn’t as good as Qin Shiyue thought.

Maybe she cried too much and got too tired. Or maybe her emotions had finally completely relaxed. Or maybe Lin Qingyi’s care gave her an unprecedented sense of security. Qin Shiyue felt sleepiness wash over her, and her eyelids grew heavier and heavier.

Qin Shiyue soon fell asleep. Her arms were still wrapped around Lin Qingyi’s waist.

Lin Qingyi looked at Qin Shiyue in her arms. She knew very clearly that compared to acting, she cared more about Qin Shiyue. Because at this moment, her heart felt very calm, unlike the anxiety she felt when she left earlier.

Author's Note:

Obviously, Qin Shiyue voluntarily withdrew and did not act in this drama.

Lin Qingyi saved both her career and the beauty. Sometimes, taking a step back lets you gain more.

Random red envelopes will be dropped.