Chapter 201: Indulgence
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.
As soon as Ruan Yesheng finished speaking, the car fell silent.
Xi Mo's expression seemed to harden slightly. She glanced at her, then fixed her gaze on the road ahead and said, "...Okay."
Ruan Yesheng turned her head and looked out the car window. The air outside seemed to be frozen with heavy frost, and the whole world felt heavy. However, she felt that her heart was even heavier, and there was a nameless panic hidden in the cracks of her heart.
After taking a shower, Ruan Yesheng received a call from Yan Tinghuan. Yan Tinghuan's first question was, "Ruanruan, when are you coming back?"
"I'll be home tomorrow night," Ruan Yesheng replied with a smile.
Yan Tinghuan sounded very regretful: "Ai, I have a ticket for tomorrow afternoon, we won't be able to meet."
"It's alright." Ruan Yesheng sat by the bed, “We can meet after the new year. Come to my house for a meal. We haven’t seen each other for many days.”
Yan Tinghuan muttered unhappily, "It's impossible after the New Year. I can't come back until after the Cold Food Festival*."
*寒食节 (Hánshà Jié) a day before Qingming Festival where people only eat cold food usually around April 3-4. Qingming Festival (清明节/QÄ«ngmÃng Jié) is a day to remember and honor the dead, aka Tomb Sweeping Day.
The Cold Food Festival is the day before the Qingming Festival. Ruan Yesheng probably guessed what was going on and asked, "Are you going to stay in your hometown for so long this time?"
"Yes. They're having a big Cicada Festival this year, so I have to stay in my hometown to train. I can't go anywhere. My family said if I dare to leave before the festival ends, they'll give me a good fruit to eat*. I don't want that."
*ironic/sarcastic risk warning, where doing something will not end up with good consequences
The Cicada Festival was indeed a momentous event for Yan Tinghuan. Ruan Yesheng knew she wasn't joking, so she comforted her, saying, "Then train hard, win first place, and I'll celebrate with you when you get back."
Yan Tinghuan often talks nonsense and exaggerates a lot. No one knows whether what she says is true or false: "Although I’m the top seed in our family and the hope of the whole family, I think it is still very difficult to get the top spot. Top five should be okay."
"No matter what your ranking is, I'll celebrate with you," Ruan Yesheng said with a smile. Yan Tinghuan's family has been raising cicadas for generations, and there are many ancient customs associated with it. The importance of rankings is completely different from that of exams today. Ruan Yesheng didn't understand, but she respects it.
"Our Ruanruan is the best." Yan Tinghuan acted coquettish for a while, but her voice turned serious as she said, “Most of my training is in isolation. There is no signal. You may not be able to contact me. I...”
Ruan Yesheng immediately understood what Yan Tinghuan's call was really about.
Yan Tinghuan was worried about her.
“It’s alright, Xi Mo has bodyguards here. If I stay with her, the bodyguards can keep an eye on her.” Ruan Yesheng said in a low voice.
“With all this trouble you’ve gotten yourself into, what good are ordinary bodyguards? You need someone who can really fight.” Yan Tinghuan sighed. “Have you forgotten what kind of person Ding Qihong is? She… I don’t think she’s an ordinary person. She’s something else entirely.”
Ruan Yesheng's mind was suddenly filled with memories of Ding Qihong at the hotel. She felt a chill run down her spine and instinctively sat up straight.
“Here’s what we’ll do: try not to be alone. When you’re on set, go to places with lots of people and pay close attention to anything that seems off. If you notice anything wrong, text or email me. I’ll be able to check it once I have a signal.” Yan Tinghuan was still thinking on the other end of the phone: “If I can analyze your recent situation and find anything particularly abnormal, I’ll come back for a visit.”
“That won’t do,” Ruan Yesheng said hastily.
"That's all we can do for now. At worst, I’ll just eat a few good fruits. Urgent matters need urgent methods." Yan Tinghuan said this with lingering fear, indicating that she had experienced the so-called "good fruits" before.
Ruan Yesheng was still silent. Yan Tinghuan urged her, “If you don’t speak, I take it as you agree. Remember to report to me often.”
“…Okay.” Ruan Yesheng could only say, “Don’t worry, take care of your health during training.”
"There's nothing to take care of, I’m used to it." Yan Tinghuan added, "By the way, while I was away, I left the search to Cui Jiashu. We had a lead at a hospital in Changsha last time, and although there was no progress afterward, Cui Jiashu has been keeping an eye on things. She has people in several possible cities, not just Changsha. She'll notify us immediately if there's any news."
Ruan Yesheng’s eyes dimmed, “I understand.”
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.
Perhaps because she was thinking about losing contact with her soon, Yan Tinghuan was very reluctant to part ways. She chatted with Ruan Yesheng on the phone for a long time before hanging up.
Ruan Yesheng sat on the edge of the bed in a daze for a while, then lifted the covers and went to sleep.
She had a dream. The dream was heavier than the winter night. It pressed on her making it hard for her to breathe.
The next day was the crew’s last work day of the year. Gu Ru didn’t arrange much work. At noon, the whole crew had a meal together and it was very lively. Ruan Yesheng, Xi Mo, Li Siran, and Gu Ru sat at the same table where a steaming hot pot of mutton was served.
Gu Cen also came, saying she would wait for Li Siran to finish work because she had something to say. Gu Ru got angry and scolded her again. Gu Cen didn't care and just laughed. In the end, Gu Ru stopped scolding and told her to help staff give out new year gifts. Gu Cen went happily, not feeling she was doing errands.
Li Siran watched for a while. She wanted to speak but stopped. In the end she walked to Gu Ru and said carefully, “Director Gu, can I help give out gifts?”
She was afraid others would think she was nosy or trying to curry favor, so she barely dared to look at Gu Ru when she spoke.
"Okay." Gu Ru nodded, glanced at her, and didn't say anything more.
Li Siran subconsciously breathed a sigh of relief and went at once.
The year's work came to an end with the greeting "See you next year." By the time Ruan Yesheng and Xi Mo landed in Shanghai, it was already night. Ruan Yesheng wanted Gu Qisong to take Xi Mo home to rest as soon as possible, but Xi Mo insisted on going with her to take Ruan Yesheng back first. Ruan Yesheng couldn't refuse her, so she agreed.
Once downstairs, Gu Qisong said, "You can go upstairs to talk; I'll wait downstairs."
Xi Mo: "..."
Do I look that unwilling to leave?!
Ruan Yesheng glanced at Xi Mo's speechless expression, then smiled and asked, "Want to go upstairs?"
"Let me walk you to your door, just in case there are bad guys in the elevator." Xi Mo said with a straight face, "But I won't go inside."
“If there are bad guys, can the two of us beat them?” Ruan Yesheng teased her.
Xi Mo: "..."
She glanced at Gu Qisong silently.
Gu Qisong said, “You can go inside to talk. I’ll wait outside.”
Xi Mo: "..."
In the end, Gu Qisong escorted the two upstairs. Gu Qisong stood outside the door, and after Xi Mo and Ruan Yesheng went inside, he closed the door. In the bright light, Xi Mo scanned the furniture around her and said, "Shall I help you clean up?"
“It’s fine. Just some dust. I’ll clean it soon.” Ruan Yesheng said, “Gu Qisong is still waiting outside.”
“You probably don’t like having him come into the house, I’ll tell him to wait in the car. It’s warmer.”
“No need.” Ruan Yesheng walked to her, “Go back and sleep. You’re tired.”
"I'm not tired." Xi Mo's gaze remained fixed on her.
"Do you know what I'm thinking right now?" Ruan Yesheng asked, staring at her.
"What?"
Ruan Yesheng raised her eyes and met Xi Mo's gaze. If eyes could be as thin as silk, then this meeting seemed to create an inseparable entanglement in an instant.
She said softly, "I'm thinking about what excuse I should give you to stay the night."
Xi Mo paused for a moment. Then she took two steps forward, getting closer to Ruan Yesheng, and said, "...Any excuse will do."
Ruan Yesheng smiled and said, "For example, my stomach hurts, my hand hurts, I can hurt anywhere, and I want to find someone to stay and help me out."
“These excuses are all good. You can find me.” Xi Mo raised her hand and pointed to herself.
Ruan Yesheng's smile deepened, and she reached out to grab Xi Mo's hand: "I really want to do this, but I'm also a little afraid that I might be too willful or indulgent."
Xi Mo felt the warmth of her palm, squeezed it back, and guessed what Ruan Yesheng was going to say. She immediately said, "Willful? Indulgent? I have never felt these things from you."
"Really?" Ruan Yesheng's lips curled up slightly.
“If there is, then you are pretending.” Xi Mo saw through her, “Sometimes I think you are too rational inside, like now.”
Having been seen through, Ruan Yesheng didn't feel embarrassed at all. Instead, she asked with interest, "Why do you think that?"
Xi Mo said, “Because you are trying to control your thoughts with your reason. And these thoughts are what you want, but you are suppressing these desires. A truly rational person is not without desires; her desires can be very strong, but the key is that she tries to control herself and suppress these thoughts. And you call these indulgences, perhaps in order to avoid them, because indulgence may not be a good thing for you, and you force yourself to avoid it like a flood or a beast.”
Ruan Yesheng smiled and didn't deny it.
"Is indulgence really bad for you?" Xi Mo asked her.
“And what about you? I think you don’t like indulgence,” Ruan Yesheng countered.
“I don’t like to indulge myself, I’m afraid I’ll lose my sense of proportion and be manipulated by others,” Xi Mo said earnestly. “But I like you to indulge a little.”
“You have double standards.” Ruan Yesheng smiled.
“Yes, I have.” Xi Mo said, “Maybe like this, you don’t need to weigh and endure too much. Endurance is good, but it brings more pain. If someone can endure a lot, she must have suffered a lot.”
When she looks at Ruan Yesheng now, her gaze is always gentle and tolerant. She says, “So you can be indulgent in front of me. And I can also... I mean, even if I lose control one day, you won’t take advantage of me.”
Ruan Yesheng moved closer. Their lips were almost touching, “You can also, what?”
Xi Mo stood straight at first. She looked down at Ruan Yesheng’s trembling lashes. Her heart trembled too. She moved her lips closer.
Between them, only one layer of warm breath.
“...indulge.” Xi Mo said softly.
Ruan Yesheng chuckled softly.
She said, "Xi Mo, I’m not the same as before. I'm very greedy now, and the fact that we're in a relationship makes it even easier for my greed to be satisfied. I know that if you can do that, you won't reject me, which makes me very happy, but also worried."
Xi Mo’s breath was light then heavy as she stared at her.
Ruan Yesheng continued, "I'm afraid that... I'll be reluctant to let you go now, and I'll be reluctant to let you go tomorrow. Time will just drag on like this, and tomorrow is New Year's Eve. You have a lot of things to do, and I don’t want you to rush. I don’t want you to be troubled. I’m afraid I can't control my greed.” Ruan Yesheng said openly.
"I understand." After a moment, Xi Mo said, "...Okay."
Ruan Yesheng moved closer and kissed her lips.
Xi Mo's lips trembled, she moved forward, but Ruan Yesheng pulled back and said, “Be careful on the way.”
Xi Mo humphed, leaned in and gave Ruan Yesheng a rather forceful kiss on the lips, before saying, "I'm leaving."
Ruan Yesheng laughed so hard she could barely stand up straight, realizing her worries were justified; if she indulged her greed, she would surely become addicted. When Xi Mo bent down, her eyes lifted. Their gazes met again. She quickly said, “Remember to call me.”
“Okay.” Ruan Yesheng smiled and sent her to the door.
Gu Qisong walked to the elevator. Xi Mo looked back at Ruan Yesheng, then left.
After that, Ruan Yesheng cleaned the house. By the time she finished showering and went to bed, it was already very late. She tried sending a message, “Are you asleep?”
Xi Mo replied instantly: "No."
Only then did Ruan Yesheng feel relieved enough to dial Xi Mo's number. Xi Mo answered quickly and said, "Finished?”
"Not yet, I'll continue tidying up tomorrow."
"Don't go out alone tomorrow. Order online and have the supermarket deliver it. If you're worried about the quality control, give me a shopping list and I'll have someone buy it and deliver it to your door. After everyone leaves, you can open the door and bring them in." Xi Mo's tone was very natural, but her words revealed her concern about Ruan Yesheng being alone.
In this regard, Ruan Yesheng was very obedient and cautious, so she said, "Okay, I'll just order online. Don't worry, I promise I won't go out, and I won't open the door for anyone."
Then, she leaned against the headboard, adjusted to a more comfortable position, and began to hum a song contentedly: "Little bunny, be good, open the door, open it quickly, I want to come in. No, no, I won't open it, Xi Mo isn't back, I won't open it for anyone."
Xi Mo chuckled on the phone, then immediately suppressed it, cleared her throat, and said, "Nonsense."
The two chatted idly, saying whatever came to mind. Ruan Yesheng brought up what Yan Tinghuan had said on the phone earlier that day, and Xi Mo's mood turned somber. She asked, "Where is Yan Tinghuan's hometown? Is it okay for you to tell me?"
“Of course it’s okay,” Ruan Yesheng said. “Her family is from Wuyuan, Jiangxi.”
"Wuyuan? Oh, that's not particularly far from Shanghai."
"You're not calculating the shortest time it would take her to get back, are you?"
"…No."
"You are."
"…I am."
Author's Note:
It's no wonder people like to read sweet stories sometimes. Actually, writing sweet stories is quite enjoyable and good for mental and physical health.
But I like to hide something inside when it's sweet, so that when everyone revisits it, they'll cry, oh, I mean... cry from sweetness, mm, mm.
