Chapter 81: Bobbing
Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=5821232
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com
Qin Shiyue's words made Lin Qingyi's heart feel like a piece of driftwood suddenly encountering a turbulent current, bobbing up and down, uneasy.
"You really don't want to act with me anymore?" Lin Qingyi's hand covered Qin Shiyue's face, gently stroking her skin. Looking at Qin Shiyue's still swollen eyes, she asked seriously.
Qin Shiyue looked back at the eyes that were gazing at her. She especially loved Lin Qingyi's eyes. They were like a lake that was too full and rich, like a lake seemingly ready to overflow, clear yet deep, shimmering with light, both profound and lively. Lin Qingyi's eyes looked exceptionally intelligent and confident, so beautiful and captivating. Qin Shiyue especially loved the way those intelligent and beautiful eyes looked at her, like now, when she effortlessly filled Lin Qingyi’s entire gaze. This feeling of being noticed and cared for by someone she liked filled her with heartfelt joy and satisfaction.
It wasn’t that she didn't want to, it was that she couldn't
Qin Shiyue felt that since falling in love with Lin Qingyi, her mind seemed to have undergone a second development. She had become more sensitive and perceptive towards people and things than before. By not acting, she could let Lin Qingyi know that she had self-respect and a sense of shame. It could also make Lin Qingyi feel a small emotional debt toward her. If she acted, it would be Lin Qingyi compromising for her, and she would probably never escape the humiliation and shame of being compromised for, only feeling an even stronger sense of indebtedness towards Lin Qingyi.
Rather than feeling indebted to Lin Qingyi, she seemed to prefer that Lin Qingyi owe her. This was probably a little trick Qin Shiyue learned in this relationship.
"Mm, I'm not acting anymore." Qin Shiyue said casually, as if she no longer cared about the matter.
“Are you still caring about what I said?” Lin Qingyi deeply understood the meaning of words spoken are water poured out. Poured water is hard to take back.
"Just a little bit." She didn't care at all, and Lin Qingyi certainly wouldn't believe her. However, Qin Shiyue only wanted to reveal a small part, like the portion of an iceberg visible above the water. She didn't want Lin Qingyi to know the majority hidden beneath. She knew that part wasn't Lin Qingyi's responsibility; most of the problems and emotions stemmed from herself. Lin Qingyi's words were merely the last straw that broke the camel's back. The biggest problem was her own incompetence, and the anger and resentment she felt towards it.
"Baby, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said those things to you." Lin Qingyi felt guilty and apologized again. Those words, given the context and emotions, were like poisoned arrows, incredibly hurtful, even though there were clearly better ways to resolve the situation.
"It's understandable that you were angry. It's normal that your tone was a bit harsh when you were angry. Besides, what you said wasn't wrong. I was upset and bothered because I agreed with everything you said. If I thought you were talking nonsense, I wouldn't have minded. Right is right, and I'm not an unreasonable person. I wasn't angry with you; I was more angry with myself." Lin Qingyi's attitude and departure at the time made her feel unloved, which was the most painful part. Later, when Lin Qingyi was willing to compromise for her, her mindset completely changed. Lin Qingyi knew she wasn't good enough, but she was still willing to like and accept her imperfections. That was her greatest privilege.
“Silly baby, even if I’m right, I shouldn’t have said it in that situation and under those emotions. The same words can have completely different meanings in different contexts and with different emotions. I was probably just venting my emotions rather than actually solving the problem.” Lin Qingyi felt that no matter what kind of conflict she had with Qin Shiyue next time, she should never say hurtful things so easily again.
"People are naturally swayed by their emotions, and you're not a saint. If you keep saying this, I'll feel very ashamed, because I'm clearly more wrong than you are. Let's not discuss this anymore," Qin Shiyue pleaded, the topic making her feel ashamed.
"How about I don't act in this one and we choose a script that's more suitable for us?" Lin Qingyi suggested. Qin Shiyue had already turned down this role, so perhaps it wouldn't be bad to work together on a script that wasn't too difficult.
"How can that be? This script is so good, and it's directed by Director Zhang. How can you let go of such a great opportunity? Otherwise, people will definitely think I'm the one who caused your downfall. I can forgive you for acting impulsively before, but I'm sober now, and I don't want to take the blame for that." Qin Shiyue became anxious when she heard Lin Qingyi say she wouldn't act in the movie, and immediately objected.
"Even a tyrannical emperor can sacrifice the country to win a beauty's smile, so I'm only taking a drama. It doesn't seem like a big deal," Lin Qingyi said, seemingly unconcerned.
"Anyway, it just won't work. If you're with me, you can only become better than before, not worse. I want to see my girlfriend win an international Best Actress award. When you become an international Best Actress, I'll benefit from your success. I want to be the woman behind a successful woman, a virtuous woman, not a troublemaker." Qin Shiyue, who had already decided not to act with Lin Qingyi until her acting skills were more mature, was just as excited as if she herself wanted to win an international Best Actress award when she thought about Lin Qingyi having the chance. She knew that a more successful Lin Qingyi would be even more charming, and a more outstanding Lin Qingyi would belong exclusively to her. Just thinking about it made her vanity explode.
As Lin Qingyi watched Qin Shiyue speak, her eyes sparkled, as if she herself were about to win an international Best Actress award. Lin Qingyi couldn't help but smile. She also believed that a more successful version of herself would likely attract Qin Shiyue's attention even more. Thinking this way, her thoughts seemed to calm down, and she felt less conflicted.
"International Best Actress, does your family run the show? You think you can just take it like that?" Lin Qingyi couldn't guarantee that she could win it, even though she had high expectations for herself.
"It doesn't matter whether you get it this time or not, it's just a matter of time anyway." Qin Shiyue had a lot of confidence in Lin Qingyi's acting skills.
Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=5821232
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com
"You have that much confidence in me?” Lin Qingyi asked, raising an eyebrow.
"That's a must, I have such good eyesight," Qin Shiyue said proudly.
Lin Qingyi thought in her heart that in the past, she felt more than ten times that Qin Shiyue had no eyesight.
"Lin Qingyi, I don't want to be a stumbling block that makes you hesitate. I want to be a jewel in your heart. As long as I can always hang in your heart, that's enough." Qin Shiyue pushed Lin Qingyi down onto the sofa and looked down at her. Even if she could never catch up with her, she hoped that no matter how high Lin Qingyi climbed, she would still be a woman she could push down.
"You are in my heart." Lin Qingyi looked at Qin Shiyue with tender eyes, her lips curving into a smile that exuded endless charm. If she weren't the one in her heart, how could she pull her heart so easily, make folds and wrinkles in it, all because of her?
Upon hearing this, Qin Shiyue couldn't help but break into a bright and captivating smile, even her still swollen eyes looked as sweet as peaches. Qin Shiyue leaned down and kissed Lin Qingyi, starting from her forehead and moving down the bridge of her nose.
"Baby... I just came back from outside..." Lin Qingyi reached out to stop Qin Shiyue, trying to resist. But her body melted even faster than before, like an ice cream taken out under the scorching July sun, already showing signs of melting before the packaging was even fully unpacked.
"You still smell so good." Qin Shiyue continued kissing Lin Qingyi.
Doing it after a conflict seemed to feel even more intense. From the living room, to the bathroom, and finally in the bedroom, they left traces of their love.
"I'm going to die." Lin Qingyi felt that Qin Shiyue was much more domineering than usual today. Even begging for mercy didn't work. Her voice was almost hoarse and her body was about to fall apart.
"Then I'll bring you back to life." Having yielded in the real world, Qin Shiyue unconsciously wanted to get her revenge in bed. Today, she wanted to see Lin Qingyi begging for mercy even more than usual.
"Qin Shiyue!" Lin Qingyi called out Qin Shiyue's full name, warning her not to continue, but her voice was too soft and hoarse at the moment. It was clear that she had overused her voice too much, so her warning had no power at all.
"Call me baby," Qin Shiyue corrected.
"Then baby be good, sister is tired." Someone is too lustful today. What kind of baby is this lustful?
"Okay, I'll be good." Qin Shiyue kissed Lin Qingyi's forehead and agreed, and indeed did not continue to torment Lin Qingyi.
Qin Shiyue earnestly told Lin Qingyi that she wanted to change her career path and that she wanted to be closer to Lin Qingyi.
Lin Qingyi would support any decision Qin Shiyue made after careful consideration. She picked out two passable scripts from the pile of bad scripts Qin Shiyue had received.
Qin Shiyue chose the script she preferred to act in from the two scripts.
Before joining the film crew, Lin Qingyi helped Qin Shiyue study the script and taught her some acting techniques. These techniques were effective in quickly improving Qin Shiyue's acting skills, which were currently quite poor. They allowed her to achieve a standardized performance in the shortest amount of time, a barely passable level of acting. However, to elevate an acting style to a higher level, or even reach a certain level of artistry, requires talent and comprehension. If one's talent and comprehension are average, then continuous practice, training, and experience are necessary.
Lin Qingyi was somewhat worried that after experiencing the benefits of standardized performance techniques, Qin Shiyue might become too reliant on them. However, that was something to consider later; the immediate priority was for Qin Shiyue to first reach a passing score.
During the day, Qin Shiyue would study scripts and acting with her beloved, filled with love and admiration, and then spend her nights indulging in wild pleasures. For her, these moments were incredibly fulfilling and blissful, yet fleeting.
Lin Qingyi was about to join the filming crew.
Author's Note:
They had to focus on their own careers.
Red envelopes will drop randomly.
