Chapter 227: Everlasting Resentment

Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=2188414

This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.

Hearing this, Xi Mo's heart ached. She also understood why they could never find even the slightest trace of Yezi back then. There was no body in the fire ruins or nearby. After searching for so many years, they still never found anyone who might have been Yezi.

Yezi had been so young at the time. She was taken to Southeast Asia by a mentally unstable kidnapper. She could not come back, nor did she have any chance to contact anyone in China.

Jian Ye stared at Xi Mo on the floor and said, "From then on, my hell began. When that nanny thought I was Jian Ye, she beat me, cursed me, and tortured me in every way. I was often hungry and had no food. When she became confused again and thought I was the young lady she had raised, I could receive a very short period of care. At those times, I could eat. She would change me into clean clothes, teach me to read and write, and tell me stories. Every second of every day, I lived in fear. Even when I was eating, I was afraid she would get angry. I was afraid she would suddenly change back and become the person who tortured me again. I hoped to get even a tiny bit of pity from her. I hoped she would not hurt me. I hoped the time she treated me well could last a little longer. I hoped the time she stayed confused could last a little longer. So... so I forced myself to call her 'Mom.'"

As Jian Ye said this, both her hands gripped Xi Mo's arm with hatred. The pain made Xi Mo wince, but she didn't struggle. She silently endured it.

Compared to everything Jian Ye had suffered, Xi Mo felt that this little pain of hers was like dust. Her eyes reddened as she looked at Jian Ye.

Jian Ye looked back at her. Her eyes were full of spreading bloodshot veins.

"And... and I was afraid calling her 'Mom' didn't sound real enough. I was afraid she couldn't feel my feelings, so I brainwashed myself. I kept telling myself that this kidnapper was my 'Mom.' If I called her 'Mom,' maybe I would have food to eat! Back then, the only thing in my head was... I wanted to eat. Sister, do you know... do you know what it feels like to be so hungry that you start hallucinating? You'll never know!"

Tears welled up in Xi Mo's eyes.

"Mom treated me so well. My mom was the only one I had. But... but just so I could eat, I had to call that person 'Mom' and brainwash myself into treating her as my 'Mom.'" Tears also filled Jian Ye's eyes. "Mom's spirit in heaven must be so disappointed in me! It was me. It was me... who betrayed Mom!"

"...She wouldn't." Xi Mo said through tears. "Mom wouldn't blame you. You did it to stay alive... to stay alive. You did nothing wrong."

"Back then, I really wanted to stay alive." Jian Ye said, trembling. "I grew up beside that person, living a life that was hell for a while, then suddenly normal for a short time. I think I went crazy too. I was no longer the child who knew nothing and only wanted to survive. I had more understanding and more feelings. That kind of life became more and more painful. I thought, if only I could die. If I died, I wouldn't hurt like this anymore. What was the point of living like this? But that person wouldn't let me die. She thought her young lady had already died once. She wouldn't let this fake one die a second time. She saved me and stopped me from killing myself. One day, she started telling me about your life in China. By then, you had already become somewhat famous. You played the younger versions of protagonists in TV dramas and movies, or the daughters or younger sisters of the main characters. It was very easy to find news about you. She even made me watch the scenes you acted in."

Xi Mo shivered. Knowing how much that nanny hated her, she could roughly guess what the nanny had told Jian Ye.

Jian Ye fixed her cold gaze on Xi Mo's face.

"That person let me go to school. She thought her young lady should go to school. Even if the school she could afford wasn't good, there were schools run by Chinese people there, so I had the chance to attend. But when she had an episode, she thought someone like Jian Ye didn't deserve an education, so I had to keep taking leave. It went on like that until I finally dropped out. While you were attending famous schools, taking all kinds of expensive tutoring classes, and receiving piano lessons from top teachers, my education was a complete mess. I don't even dare say I received a proper education. After going home, I might still get beaten and scolded. While you played the daughters of main characters in those TV dramas and movies, I was being beaten by that crazy nanny. I cried and called her 'Mom,' but it was useless. While you were living the life of a pampered Young Miss of the Xi family, I might have been punished by being starved! Why? We were kidnapped together! We were both Mom's daughters! When I was first brought to the Xi family to live with you, everyone in the Xi family treated me as the Second Young Miss too! So why am I the one who had to live this kind of life in Southeast Asia for so many years? Is that fair? Why me? Why only me!"

"Why... only me."

Jian Ye's eyes were bloodshot as she stared at Xi Mo.

Xi Mo's face was covered in tears. The pain in her heart had reached its limit. Curled up on the floor in agony, tears rolled down her cheeks onto the cheap wooden floor.

That nanny had planted hatred inside Jian Ye, then let her continue living by relying on that hatred. Now that hatred seemed to gather in Jian Ye's eyes and take shape.

She said, "I once longed for the day I could return to China and meet you. But at some point, I started hating you. I couldn't control myself, and I hated myself for that. Later, that person got sick and died. I was left alone. I looked for work, but nobody would hire me. Even when I asked for very, very little pay, they were afraid I'd scare my coworkers. So in the end, I could only do the hardest, most exhausting jobs that nobody else wanted."

...Scare her coworkers.

Xi Mo trembled even harder. Looking at the mask Jian Ye had never taken off, she urgently said, "Yezi... can you... can you let me see your face?"

Jian Ye smiled again. The smile was cold to the bone.

"I don't even dare look at my own face. Are you sure you want to?"

Xi Mo felt a sharp pain in her heart. She nodded with all her strength, tears pouring down even faster. Before, she had thought Yezi always wore a baseball cap and mask to hide her identity and avoid being found. But now it was clearly... much more than that. Especially since Jian Ye was wearing a high-necked shirt, as though she was hiding something.

Jian Ye took off her mask and looked at Xi Mo coldly.

When Xi Mo saw Jian Ye's face, she completely broke down and burst into tears.

"We were both in that fire. You weren't burned, but I was disfigured, and my body suffered burns in many places. You acted in so many well-reviewed and box office hit movies, won Best Actress awards, and got to choose which scripts and advertisements suited you. As for me, not only was my job at the very bottom, it had no security at all. I had to worry whether this meal cost a little too much. I had to save every bit I could."

Xi Mo cried so hard she could barely speak.

"Yezi... don't be afraid. Come back with me. I'll immediately find the best doctors for you and have burn reconstruction surgery. It's still not too late. I know this can never make up for what you've suffered, but we'll do it one step at a time. We'll start with the reconstruction. I'll stay with you. I'm sorry. I didn't know... I didn't know you went through all this. Please give me a chance. I'll stop all my work and stay with you during your treatment. It can definitely be repaired. Believe me. Medicine is very advanced now. There are so many good doctors and hospitals in the world. It can definitely be done."

"I don't want any more reconstruction surgeries!" Jian Ye shouted. "I've had enough! I've had enough of the pain from recovering after surgery, enough of infections and complications after surgery! Ever since that fire left me badly burned, my body has had lasting problems. Reconstruction surgery only makes me suffer even more! With burns over such a large area, how long would it take before I'm fully repaired?!"

Xi Mo lowered her head and cried. Thinking back to Jian Ye's face just now, she could indeed see signs of surgery, but the results were poor.

Yezi didn't have money for those surgeries. Someone had to be helping her.

Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=2188414

This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.

"When I was barely surviving over there by myself, Gu Qisong went to Southeast Asia on a long-term assignment. That's when I met him. During that time, he helped me a lot. Later, Gu Qisong returned to China. I thought he'd never come back, but one day he came to see me and said he had retired from the military and was staying for good. Gu Qisong paid for my reconstruction surgeries. I went through many operations like that, but I always got infections, and the results were never good. I was in so much pain. Lying in the hospital bed, I wondered if the world could just end. If it couldn't end, then could half the people in the world die? I wanted to be in that half. I wanted so badly to die. If one day I opened my eyes and found I was dead, that would be wonderful. Gu Qisong told me not to give up and to keep going with the reconstruction. Easy for him to say! I've had enough of all of this!"

As she spoke, Jian Ye leaned closer to Xi Mo again.

"Until last year, I saw one of your advertisements. You were so famous that even over there I could see your ads. The luxury jewelry you endorsed hung around your neck. It was so dazzling, so beautiful."

Xi Mo cried so hard she could no longer speak.

Jian Ye smiled.

"I watched that advertisement for a very, very long time. At the time, I thought, Sister, it would be nice if you died."