Chapter 18: Heart-breaking

"It was just some empty wine bottles. I've been through a divorce, and my mood wasn't great."

They sat down.

Lin Ni just heard Lu Xici's words without any waves, and she glanced at her more.

"Do you mind telling me the details? Maybe I can help you."

She has turned back into the caring big sister again.

Lu Xici shrugged in her heart, she's really watertight.

She replied casually.

"It's nothing special. If there's no more love, just leave."

This is a fact, Lu Xici’s ideal fact.

Lin Ni just laughed.

The tables turned on her today, feeling quite uncomfortable.

Lu Xici seemed completely on guard, making herself seem like it was unnecessary to send the assistant away.

She should be even more careful with future tests.

* * *

"A'Mei, do you know what you're saying?" Jun Youning received another call from her sister.

Fortunately, her work is relatively leisurely, so she can skip an extra hour or two of work at lunchtime.

Then she listened to the results that Jun Youyue compiled throughout the night.

To be precise, she read it since Jun Youyue wouldn't speak such a long passage to her.

She had typed it in advance and handed the phone to her when she arrived at the hotel.

Jun Youning looked at the large text that looked like a thesis and read it patiently.

Then she stared at Jun Youyue, looking left and right, up and down, carefully for several minutes, and almost took her sister's hand and sent her to a certain hospital.

"Mm." Jun Youyue took a sip of the tea provided by the restaurant.

"I'm not kidding." She added extremely seriously.

When she went back last night, she didn't close her eyes all night and went through all the details of their married life.

In the end, she concluded that Lu Xici truly had a drinking problem and would black out even after waking up.

In fact, there were signs from the very beginning.

Jun Youyue remembers that it was October four years ago.

Although it is autumn, the air is still very hot.

The air conditioning in the institute was not as powerful as the matrimonial house prepared by the Lu family, so Jun Youyue started going back to the matrimonial house every now and then.

In fact, she didn't want to go back at all.

Getting married was an act of desperation.

If she hadn't accepted the charcoal* sent by the Lu family in the snow, her fate might have been labeled as "academic fraud."

*lifeline

Her younger aunt was like this. Perfect experiment data suddenly went wrong, nearly causing harm to a group of people and almost getting her expelled from the research institute, with everyone pointing fingers at her.

Her uncle was like this. A paper crafted word by word, pouring heart and soul into it, was unjustly labeled as plagiarism from above, leading to his suspension, and then he vanished and cut off contact.

Her mother disappeared, and the family experienced a series of such blows, creating chaos.

At that time, she had just obtained the qualification to enter the research institute, became a low-level researcher, and was about to start struggling.

Facing such setbacks, let alone keeping her job, her life might have been at risk.

Her younger aunt went insane, now residing in a mental hospital arranged by the Lu family, holding utensils every day, imagining herself conducting experiments. Her uncle still had no news to this day, much like her mother, and, likely, things weren't looking good.

In September, one after another, the people close to Jun Youyue met misfortunes, greatly affecting her mental and emotional state.

It's like being kept in the dark.

It was pitch black all around, and the instigator could not be seen. All that could be heard was the deafening sound of drums, which pierced her eardrums.

One after another, it was Jun Youyue's inner defense that was shattered.

She hid in the spare small house of Jun's family and refused to go out. She stayed there for several days.

She continued her experiment day and night. If she stopped for even a minute, she would start to feel anxious and have heart palpitations, making her life very miserable.

At that time, she even refused to open the curtains, as if the darkness could give her a sense of security.

The light represents the passage of time and the possible verdict on her fate.

Lu Xici appeared at that time and knocked on her door.

"It's me, Lu Xici. I should be able to help you. I want to help you. Jun Youyue, can you open the door?"

This is probably what Lu Xici said.

Maybe she said something else, but Jun Youyue couldn't recall.

She entered Jun Youyue's house with the drafted contract and told her her plan in a few words.

Jun Youyue knew about the Lu family.

It was several decades ago when the Lu family and the Jun family had competitive cooperative relations.

But that was last century's matter. Later, with the rise of the internet, the Lu family changed direction, and the Jun family's biggest rival also changed.

Of course, she knew the Lu family's status in the institute, and it was easy to keep a low-level researcher like her who had accomplished nothing.

So she agreed to Lu Xici's request.

"What do you want?" Jun Youyue knew that she couldn't take such a benefit in vain.

Even though she and Lu Xici were old acquaintances, and they had played together in their childhood, it wasn't enough of a reason or repayment to help her out.

"I just want to help you." Lu Xici lowered her eyes and did not look into Jun Youyue's eyes when she replied.

Her eyelashes were long enough to cover her half-open eyes, but they couldn't block the dazzling innocence shining in those peach-blossom eyes.

Whether it was the contract she brought or her words without any hidden intentions, they were like a pair of scissors, tearing apart the gloom that had covered Jun Youyue, breaking the darkness, and letting the light in.

Looking back now, maybe she had fallen since that day.

Jun Youyue did not write this sentence in her thesis-like memoir but repeated it in her heart several times.

She felt that she owed something to Lu Xici.

Lu Xici helped her so much, but she couldn't give her anything in return.

What was she after? Was it the childhood friendship they shared?

So Jun Youyue didn't want to go back to the matrimonial house because she didn't know how to face Lu Xici, so she was subconsciously escaping.

As for what Lu Xici was after, she had an answer on that mid-October night.

After finally stalling until she could no longer delay, Jun Youyue slowly opened the door to the house.

She stood in the living room for a while, looking at the decorations that were completely different from the Jun family and felt a bitter taste in her heart.

And Lu Xici, who still had a touch of girlishness, heard the commotion and came down the stairs. Her first words were, "Why are you in my house?"

Jun Youyue remembered that she glanced at her.

At that time, Lu Xici was twenty years old, her features still had a hint of a young girl's innocence, not fully matured, but you could still see the potential for beauty. Her features were exquisitely shaped, but there was a lack of charm.

Her cheeks were very red, quite adorable.

That was Jun Youyue's impression at the time. Now it seemed most likely due to the flush from alcohol.

"We're married." Jun Youyue said concisely.

Lu Xici let out a long oh, walked around her, tilted her head, and seemed to be sizing her up.

"So, you're my wife. You're really beautiful, and I really like you."

After saying that, without any hesitation, Lu Xici raised her head, grabbed Jun Youyue's hand, and kissed it.

This straightforward confession stunned Jun Youyue, not to mention the excitement that Lu Xici's next actions brought to her.

From her fingertips to the back of her hand, they were kissed all over by her friend-turned-wife.

By the time she realized what was happening, Lu Xici was about to stick out her tongue against her knuckles.

If she hadn't dodged quickly, her finger would have been caught in Lu Xici's mouth.

Seeing her withdraw her finger, Lu Xici didn't seem upset. She took a step forward, tiptoed, and directly hooked onto Jun Youyue's neck.

Their bodies were pressed together, so hot that it hurt.

"Wife~" She left a loud kiss on Jun Youyue's collarbone and then gave her a sweet smile.

Jun Youyue stiffened.

For this title, for this action, and for this smile as bright as the sun.

Her smile was infused with the fragrance of roses from Lu Xici's shower gel, and it didn't have a hint of cloying sweetness.

Jun Youyue was stunned by this beautiful appearance and even ignored her unnatural expression and the faint smell of alcohol on her body.

It turns out that Lu Xici didn't care about anything else but her.

Lu Xici likes her.

Feeling guilty, Jun Youyue didn't reject Lu Xici's approach.

Rather, because of those ambiguous touches, her heart raced faster than before, and she felt a strange emotion filled with joy and anticipation.

She no longer refused Lu Xici's touch.

If she had been more rational at that time, perhaps she could have noticed Lu Xici's slightly tipsy state, and maybe the two of them wouldn't have ended up in such a strained situation today.

It’s a pity that there is no regret medicine in the world.

Jun Youning read the analysis written by her sister again under her very serious gaze, ignoring the excessive show of affection in the middle.

Jun Youning sighed when she saw the end.

She had thought her sister's personality was unique enough, but she hadn't expected to encounter someone even more weirder.

Now she knows where the misunderstanding lies.

But Jun Youning still felt that something wasn't quite right.

Even if Lu Xici had blackouts, she shouldn't forget everything about their daily interactions, right?

Lu Xici was quite young, and both her body and mind were in good condition. If her memory had issues, how could she act in movies and memorize lines?

"What about during the day? She can't possibly be drunk during the day as well, right?"

Jun Youyue raised her head and glanced at Jun Youning. "Busy."

The look she gave Jun Youning seemed to say: Jiejie, you are my biological sister, don’t you know how busy I am?

Jun Youning was choked.

"Wait, really? You don't see each other during the day? No matter how busy you two are, you should still make time to go on a date or something, right?"

There was obvious confusion on Jun Youyue's face.

Just before she could ask what kind of dates they should have, Jun Youning made a gesture to stop her from speaking and dramatically put her hand to her forehead.

"Let me sort it out. So, you two have been married for three years. You think you like her very much and she likes you very much, but your communication is limited to things in the evening?"

After her sister said this, Jun Youyue gradually realized that something was wrong.

However, in her mind, this didn't seem to be a problem.

The difference between couples and friends was that they could do certain things that couldn't be described, right?

Then she and Lu Xici have done it so many times. They are a couple in love, which is very logical.

But Jun Youning's attitude was too strange, causing Jun Youyue, who had been very confident, to waver and doubt herself.

Jun Youyue turned her head and received Jun Youning's death stare for two minutes.

"Mm, it's not just in the evenings," Jun Youyue admitted, feeling unusually self-conscious.

During the day, she and Lu Xici would occasionally stay at home, like during the Lunar New Year.

They even squatted together in the garden, waiting for beetles. She wasn't sure if that counted as a date.

"Then tell me what you two do during the day." Jun Youning leaned back on her chair and folded her arms. Her posture was very much like the homeroom teacher of Jun Youyue's junior class.

When a student did something wrong, and the homeroom teacher went to reprimand them, listening to the unconvincing explanations of the children, the expression was like this.

Jun Youyue had never been reprimanded, but she saw her classmates being reprimanded, and the scene was still fresh in her memory.

Her sister suddenly became terrifying. Jun Youyue instinctively shrank her neck.

"...Looking at flowers?" After a while, Jun Youyue managed to utter a sentence.

"Do you talk?"

Jun Youyue shook her head.

"Hold hands?"

Jun Youyue shook her head.

"Hug?"

Jun Youyue shook her head three times and her eyes turned red.

Was it that she didn't want to? She had moved closer to indicate her interest, but Lu Xici had simply sat aside, creating distance between them.

Thinking about it, she still felt aggrieved. She really wanted to hug Lu Xici.

"But she put a scarf on me."

"That was her initiative, what about your attitude?!"

Jun Youyue could only respond with silence.

"What kind of relationship is this?!" 

Seeing how miserable she looked, Jun Youning finally couldn't hold back. 

"This isn't having a girlfriend or a wife! 

This is having a fuck buddy!!"

Author's Note:

Jun Youning, my internet mouth substitute* 

*new term coined by netizens to express their gratitude to those netizens who can express their feelings for them. Like 'This is  exactly what I wanted to say'