Chapter 20: Protagonist's Avoidance
"Can you consider me?"
Lin Ni's voice had an imperceptible tremor.
She spoke word by word, dragging out the whole sentence for a long time.
It's as if thunder was born from the distant sky, rushed in, and then exploded in Lu Xici's mind.
She took a sip of tea calmly at first.
Her movements were smooth and her expression was as usual.
Lin Ni thought for a moment that she didn't hear clearly, or that she had guessed long ago but remained indifferent, feeling a bit disappointed.
Silence is the most direct judgment for a confession.
Lin Ni wasn't discouraged at all.
Just when she was about to offer a way out to Lu Xici and end this topic, Lu Xici suddenly coughed.
It was as if she had finally realized something, took a deep breath, and choked on water.
The teacup almost fell from her hand.
"Are you okay?" Lin Ni instinctively jumped up and took the tissue. She wanted to wipe Lu Xici's mouth and pat her back.
But Lu Xici raised her hand to stop her actions.
Lin Ni very politely withdrew her hand, but her eyes still showed a worried look.
She didn't even feel too disappointed about Lu Xici's rejection.
After all, Lin Ni had prepared for the long term, and she felt like she had just started pursuing Lu Xici.
No matter how cold or rejected she might be, Lin Ni thought it was normal, and she could endure it.
Even Lu Xici had endured those years in her marriage. It was just another rejection, no big deal.
After Lu Xici coughed, she leaned back in her chair, looking like a fish that had lost its dreams, with lifeless eyes.
She had actually guessed it right.
What should she do now? Lu Xici stared blankly at the chandelier on the ceiling, feeling a bit lost.
She was certain that she didn't have romantic feelings for Lin Ni.
Lin Ni was her friend, almost like a mentor on her acting journey.
Lu Xici had a deep friendship for her, some admiration, but simply no romantic love.
Objectively speaking, Lin Ni had no flaws.
Being a double Best Actress winner meant she was exceptionally talented and had outstanding looks.
But no matter how excellent she was, it couldn't change the fact that Lu Xici didn't have romantic feelings for her.
Could Lin Ni be unaware of this?
As an actress, the primary job was to read people and situations.
Lu Xici wasn't putting on much of a facade in front of her friends, so if she had romantic feelings, even if she didn't express them, they would have been evident in her eyes.
Just like Lu Xici had a sense of Lin Ni's feelings for her.
Lin Ni must be aware.
She chose to confess today, most likely triggered by what she had said.
Lu Xici was regretting it now, deeply regretting it.
Why did she have to pierce that window paper*?
*捅破那层窗户纸 (tǒng pò nà céng chuānghùzhǐ) metaphor for ruining delicate, easily breakable situation/relationship, once broken it would be hard to fix
She didn't want their relationship to deteriorate or grow distant because of this, but a failed confession might make it challenging to remain friends.
Just like Ye Qiu from her university days.
They agreed that they could still be friends without being a couple, but later on, the two of them gradually lost contact.
"Senior Lin." Lu Xici composed herself, intending to have a proper conversation about this matter.
She still hoped to continue this friendship, but if Lin Ni couldn't accept it, she would have to regretfully move on.
When Lin Ni heard this address, her heart skipped a beat. After they met, Lin Ni had discouraged such a formal address.
Lu Xici always used to call her "Lin-jie" or occasionally playfully referred to her as "Movie Queen Lin." The address change now indicated that Lu Xici had made a decision.
"Stop," Lin Ni interrupted Lu Xici before being completely rejected. "Let me speak first, okay?"
"I know my confession was sudden for you, and it may be a bit... hard to accept."
Lin Ni looked extremely serious. She focused on Lu Xici without hiding the emotions in her eyes. It was evident that her affection was shining brightly, almost blinding.
Lu Xici avoided eye contact. She didn't have a response to Lin Ni, and she couldn't accept this one-sided affection so openly.
"You've just come out of a previous marriage and may not be ready to start a new relationship. You may not like me and may not want to accept my confession. But I just want a chance."
Lin Ni's words were so precise as if she had seen through Lu Xici. Her words were cautious as if this confession were the most important thing in the world.
Lu Xici was involuntarily drawn into her words.
"What chance?" she asked softly.
"A chance to pursue you. Give me some time, at least, let's try. Can we?"
Lin Ni's unwavering determination was incredibly attractive, and it turned Lu Xici's head to meet her eyes.
She saw a woman even more mature and steadfast than herself.
Anyone, regardless of their gender or orientation, couldn't help but be moved by the gaze of such a mature and charismatic woman.
Besides, Lu Xici was naturally drawn to this type of woman.
She stared at Lin Ni for a long time, her gaze unwavering.
It was only when she momentarily lost herself in Lin Ni's face that she caught a glimpse of Jun Youyue's expression.
That person had the same kind of determination and stability, moving steadily towards a goal without giving up.
People like this, as long as they were willing, could achieve anything, no matter how challenging the circumstances, no matter how thorny the path.
But Lu Xici couldn't.
She lacked a certain passion, a drive to fight for most things in life.
Put it nicely, she was content with what life threw her way; put it less nicely, she was lacking in ambition.
The only thing she had ever truly pursued was her love for Jun Youyue, and that had consumed her heart, ultimately leading to a divorce agreement.
Even acting could only be considered half-hearted.
Who knows, maybe she will retire from the industry tomorrow and happily inherit her family's wealth.
This moment of contemplation only strengthened Lu Xici's resolve to reject Lin Ni.
She couldn't agree to Lin Ni's pursuit under the possibility that she might be seen as a substitute for someone else.
It would be unfair and hurtful to Lin Ni.
"Lin-jie, I still can't forget her." Lu Xici's lips moved slightly, but she couldn't bring herself to say Jun Youyue's name, not even her title as an ex-wife.
This vague reference made sense to Lin Ni.
"And I..."
"I don't care." Lin Ni interrupted Lu Xici before she could finish, her fierce determination in her eyes growing stronger, like a wild beast almost devouring Lu Xici.
"Even if it's a replacement," Lin Ni continued, "as long as it gives me this chance." She was confident that she could make Lu Xici fall for her, Lin Ni, and not see her as someone else.
As long as Lu Xici agreed.
"Why?" Lu Xici didn't understand. What made her so special? Why would a successful person go out of their way to beg and please her?
"Then why can't you forget?" Lin Ni kept her gaze fixed on Lu Xici, afraid she might run away. In her mind, she replayed the images of Lu Xici she had seen in the past.
Sitting on a swing, a teenage girl with red lips and white teeth.
She gently raised her eyes in Lin Ni's direction and smiled sweetly.
The afternoon sun gently pierced through the thick clouds, casting light over her.
She was bathed in a golden glow, making her shine like something otherworldly, completely out of place in the mundane world.
At that moment, Lin Ni saw a delicate deer, as pure as snow and lotus, well-protected, and untainted.
Later, she struck up a conversation with her and got to know her.
In these small moments, Lin Ni discovered her caring and considerate nature.
She would prepare birthday cards filled with blessings and hand-picked exquisite gifts for her on her own birthday.
If she was away filming and encountered rain, she would greet her, or send necessities through her household servants.
If she ever fell ill or got injured, her concern was always the first to arrive.
Perhaps, aside from that initial captivating glance, Lin Ni's affection had grown during their everyday interactions.
It had taken root in her heart and had become unshakable.
Why couldn't she forget?
After all, Jun Youyue couldn't talk, couldn't provide companionship, let alone give the love Lu Xici desired. It was just because she liked her.
Love was a wild beast, born from instinct. There was no need for elaborate explanations.
Lu Xici understood that now, but she still thought Lin Ni was crazy for saying, "Even if it's a replacement."
"I'm sorry," Lu Xici got up. She needed time to calm down, and she wanted to give Lin Ni more time to think.
"I, I might need some time to think. I have some things to take care of, so I'll leave for now."
"Alright," Lin Ni sat in her chair, feeling a bit dazed for the first time as she watched Lu Xici almost flee.
Had she done something wrong, been too insistent? But she thought she had made herself clear. She just wanted a chance.
Yet, Lu Xici had still left.
Her departure felt like a thousand tiny silver needles pricking at Lin Ni's heart, leaving her feeling a bit hurt.
The leading lady had left, and the supporting role arrived late.
Lin Ni stared at the food on the table, lost in thought until the steam had dissipated.
Back in her hotel room, Lu Xici finally took a deep breath.
Auntie Liu had checked the room for Lu Xici while they were eating, and she had discreetly taken away the alcohol she had hidden.
Lu Xici rummaged through several cabinets but didn't find the alcohol she was looking for. Instead, she discovered a bottle of milk in the fridge.
She reluctantly poured the cold milk into a wine glass, raised the glass, and pressed it against her forehead.
The chill helped clear her mind for a moment.
Her phone rang again.
Lu Xici sighed, picked up her phone, and opened the message.
It was her mother, who had sent her a contact. She was certain that Lu Xici would be interested in this person.
Lu Xici glanced at the person's profile. It read: Shang Shixu, 28 years old, female, with a bachelor's degree in physics from Peking University and acceptance into a prestigious overseas Ivy League school for her master's degree.
As someone who finds intellectuals attractive, Lu Xici was genuinely intrigued by Miss Shang.
She reviewed the education section of the resume several times and didn't even ask for a photo. Instead, she asked her mother to send over the contact information.
It just so happened that she needed something to distract her attention, and this person had arrived at the perfect time.
Lu Xici sent a friend request to the unfamiliar WeChat contact.
Blind dates and being confessed to by a friend were two entirely different things.
The former can be more casual. They are all strangers anyway, and everyone is just trying to get along. If it didn't work out, they could part ways without any obligations.
If the latter is not handled carefully, it will severely hurt a friend's feelings.
The other person instantly accepted the friend request.
Lu Xici gazed at the glacier-themed profile picture and felt a strange sense of familiarity. She shook her head, not wanting to dwell on thoughts about a certain person.
[Miss Shang, hello.] She greeted "Shang Shixu".
Author's Note:
Lin Ni: You can eat substitute meals
Lu Xici: I won’t eat!
Auntie Liu: You don’t want to drink
Jun Youyue: No, she wants to! Let her drink!
Prize-winning guessing game, who is Shang Shixu?
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I wish you all a Happy New Year! May all your wishes come true in the new year!
After careful consideration, I've decided to strive to finish what's known as the "v-top list." This means that this story will either have a reverse v or be marked as completed. You'll get to read a bit more for free, but additional updates will have to wait.
I see that everyone is urging me to post. Once they are posted, won’t they just end where they are? At least you have to water again, ah, no, let me write nine chapters, okay?