Chapter 83: Original Version
This translation is originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.
Gu Xizhi spent the whole night in the cold. When the door opened at dawn, it woke her up from her position by the bed. She raised her head and Shen Ya appeared at the door. Gu Xizhi squeezed Qu Xizhi's hand and tightened it involuntarily.
"The nurse will come over later, don't hinder their work. Moreover, you should know by now that doing this all night is useless. When she gets better, we'll go to Italy, and you shouldn't look for her anymore."
Gu Xizhi listened to what he said, then her eyes slowly fell towards Qu Xizhi.
She didn't stop trying to communicate with her last night, but she was completely unresponsive from beginning to end. Later she also felt frustrated, that’s why she let herself be invaded by trapped thoughts, but now when she heard Shen Ya say this, she became unwilling again.
"It's not up to you to decide whether I'd look for her or not. You are just engaged, it's strange how you act like you can be in charge of everything for her, besides, if you won't interfere with the nurse's work here, of course, I won't either. "
Shen Ya nodded lightly, "I want to see how long you can hold on."
Just as he finished speaking, Gu Xizhi's phone vibrated in her pocket. She looked down, thought for a moment, and then freed one hand to answer the call. "Hello?"
The person on the other end jumped anxiously, "Xiao Jing, what are you doing? You're refusing a multi-million contract. Do you want to pay compensation to the company until your next life? Also, do you even know how much work you have? Where are you?"
Gu Xizhi looked at her watch, "I'll go tomorrow, I'm busy now."
"This is life and death!" Lili said immediately, "Boss Tian and the investors are waiting for you in the office, if you don't show up within an hour, I'll be the first to be fired, Xiao Jing, please know what's important, forget about me, what matters is can you play this battle evenly?"
Gu Xizhi remained silent for a moment and said, "Wait for me, I'll be there shortly."
After hanging up the phone, she raised her head, glanced at Shen Ya, and then stood up. Then she whispered into Qu Xizhi's ear, "I'll be back to see you very soon. This is the last time. You must wait for me."
Qu Xizhi remained completely silent throughout.
In life, many matters are beyond one's control. The entire day, Gu Xizhi was moved around like a puppet. When work ended at nine o'clock in the evening, Gu Xizhi rushed back to the hospital on the thirteenth floor. While she had anticipated that entering Qu Xizhi's room again would be difficult, she never expected that there would be no need to enter at all.
"I'm sorry, miss. The patient in that room left this morning, and I don't know where they went."
As the nurse spoke with an apologetic expression and finished her sentence, Gu Xizhi stared in shock, her mouth open, and for a long while, she couldn't say a single word.
At ten o'clock in the evening, the city streets were desolate. Gu Xizhi parked her car on the roadside, sat in the driver's seat, held her phone, and waited in silence. After a while, a call finally came through, and Gu Xizhi answered it immediately, but the outcome was unsatisfactory again.
After listening to the other person finish speaking, Gu Xizhi let out a slight sigh and said, "Continue searching, give it your best, no matter how long it takes."
The person on the phone probably gave a positive answer, and Gu Xizhi then threw the phone aside.
At the end of the year, Gu Xizhi continued to work in a restless and busy atmosphere. Whenever she had free time, she would drive to the outskirts of Qu's mansion to wait, even though she had no hope of seeing the person she was waiting for and never expected to enter that villa.
The arrival of the Lunar New Year in early February filled the city with joy. "Black and White Feathers" was released on New Year's Day according to its original schedule. The days that were supposed to be for rest and family reunions became twice as busy for Gu Xizhi due to work arrangements and movie promotions. On the morning of the eighth day of the Lunar New Year, just as Gu Xizhi had lain down to rest at 4 a.m., a hurried but hopeful ringtone shattered her drowsiness.
"What? Qu Xizhi is not in the city?" Gu Xizhi asked while taking notes with paper and pen. "Tell me the address."
After a long pause, Gu Xizhi said, "Why did you call me if you don't know the address?"
The other person said something, and Gu Xizhi's expression immediately became serious. "Are you sure he bought two tickets to Italy for tomorrow morning?"
There was a quick response, and Gu Xizhi held the phone for a while before saying, "Understood." Then, she hung up the phone.
As soon as the call ended, another call came in. Gu Xizhi looked at the time wearily but then changed her mind about hanging up.
This translation is originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com please read it there. and check out other stories too.
"Xiao Jing," after she answered Lili earnestly said, "I just confirmed the award ceremony location. It's tonight at 7 o'clock at the International Center Opera House. Rest well, and leave at 2 this afternoon."
Gu Xizhi just responded casually, "Okay."
At domestic film festivals, the Golden Tripod, Golden Palm, and Golden Phoenix Tree awards are often compared due to regional factors, but their quality has always been quite similar.
This time "Black and White Feather" was nominated for seven awards, including Best Feature Film, Best Director, and two Best Actress awards. Therefore, before the awards ceremony began, the news of the two actresses competing for the Best Actress became the media's top headline. Unfortunately, since the earthquake, Qu Xizhi has been very low-key, and we haven't seen her in either film promotion or charity activities. Therefore, everyone's attention has shifted to Gu Xizhi.
At four o'clock in the afternoon, Gu Xizhi checked into the hotel. Before getting dressed, a bunch of branded sponsored clothes were brought over. Gu Xizhi quickly noticed a stylish and lively red evening gown and signaled for them to keep it. After looking at the unfamiliar and bold red dress for a while, she hesitated but decided to keep it along with a nude-colored dress from the same brand.
The evening event started at seven o'clock, and all the guests who walked the red carpet took their seats. Without any surprise, Qu Xizhi, also nominated for Best Actress, was not present at the venue. This left the media reporters who had been waiting since early morning disappointed. The subject matter of "Black and White Feathers" which had no chance to be released in mainland China, and the cuts made to intimate scenes had piqued the interest of the media. The questions from the media almost drowned out those directed at Gu Xizhi in the interview area, and it was only thanks to the timely intervention of the director, Scarlett Li, and the nominee for Best Supporting Actress, She Jia, who were present, that the awkwardness was avoided.
Just as predicted by the internet and the media, this year's Golden Phoenix Tree Award became the home ground for "Black and White Feathers" due to the presence of Scarlett Li. They had already won the prestigious international award that symbolizes a lifetime achievement, and wherever Li Scarlett Li appeared, it seems like a king arrived.
In the audience seats, Gu Xizhi and Scarlett Li sat next to each other. After the screening of the nominated Best Actress work, when the announcement of the Best Actress award was imminent, Scarlett Li suddenly said, "This should be my last film. I hope you all do well."
Amid the noise in the seats, Gu Xizhi didn't hear very clearly, but after a while, she understood what Scarlett Li meant and said, "Sister Jia, your talent would be wasted if you don't make movies."
"Like climbing a mountain, once you've reached the summit, no matter how beautiful the scenery ahead is, it won't be as beautiful as the mountaintop. It's better to go somewhere else to enjoy the view."
Gu Xizhi nodded after a long while, "I hope you can see the most beautiful scenery on the other road."
Scarlett Li turned her head and gently patted her shoulder, "Get ready for the award. Qin Shiyu is the most beautiful scenery in the film, and it will remain the most beautiful scenery."
Gu Xizhi just lowered her head and looked at her phone, which remained silent.
On the stage, various colorful lights created a dazzling visual experience. The male and female hosts were dressed in elegant black and white attire, and their humorous hosting style kept the atmosphere lighthearted and not too serious.
"We all know that the Golden Phoenix Tree's Best Actor has always been a male idol, but what about the Best Actress?"
The young female host smiled as she directed the microphone toward the audience. However, the fans in the audience seats didn't respond with "goddess" as expected. Instead, they shouted the names of their supported actresses.
"Mm, I heard it, I heard it all." The host returned to the center of the stage and smiled at the camera, "It seems the competition for Best Actress this time is fierce. I can't decide who the Best Actress is; we'll have to ask the judges. Now, please welcome Mr. Lu Guangyi, the President of Phoenix Media Group, and our previous Golden Phoenix Tree Awards Best Actress, Miss Jia Yun, to announce the award winners."
The lighting and music immediately pushed the atmosphere to a climax. A middle-aged man and a beautiful woman walked out of the entrance area amidst applause. The woman walked elegantly to the stage with the support of the man. After taking the envelope with the list, they stood in the center of the stage.
The applause gradually faded, and the two presenters looked at the list of winners. The man motioned to the woman to read it out, and the woman did not beat around the bush. She faced the camera and said, "It is an honor to announce the Best Actress of this year's Golden Phoenix Tree Awards. I want to say that this year’s Best Actress is not only a goddess in my heart but also a well-deserved movie queen. I watched her starring role in "Black and White Feathers" three times in a theater..."
At this point, the applause from the audience had already swallowed up her voice, and she paused for a moment before continuing, "I watched it three times in the theater and fell in love with the character she played, and just now I made a bet with our Movie King Xiao Ji in the audience. I said both Xizhis portrayed their roles so well that it's hard to determine who did better. So, we each placed our bets. Whoever loses will treat the other to dinner."
The live camera cut to Xiao Ji in the audience, and then quickly returned to Jia Yun.
"So, I want to say," Jia Yun smiled as she looked towards Xiao Ji's position in the audience, "Movie King, this time you've lost."
The camera lingered on Xiao Ji for a long time. Xiao Ji just nodded and smiled at the camera without revealing the answer.
"Okay, to enjoy the Movie King's treat sooner, I won't keep you in suspense any longer." The camera cut back to Jia Yun and she put down the list and faced the camera with a sweet smile. "Now I announce, this year's Golden Phoenix Tree Awards, Best Actress is..."
The lights focused on the three nominated actresses, and three close-ups were cut out on the big screen.
Gu Xizhi, like the other two actresses who had already been determined to lose, had a gentle smile and a calm expression on her face.
This time, she felt really calm.
The camera returned to Jia Yun, and her gaze was unabashedly directed at Gu Xizhi. Her voice was loud, and her words were clear, "She is here today, and she is the one who portrayed Qin Shiyu. Miss Gu Xizhi."
"Gu Xizhi, Miss Gu Xizhi, congratulations." The male host immediately took over the words and applauded, and then the audience burst into unprecedented applause.
The big screen switched to a close-up of Gu Xizhi. With her young and elegant short hair and wearing a knee-length crimson gown, Gu Xizhi sat in her original spot, nodded, and quickly stood up to bow to the surroundings, looking very composed and calm.
If this had happened three years ago, she would have been overjoyed and uncontrollably excited, but this was already three years later.
As one saying goes, fame should come early, if it comes too late, happiness also becomes less joyful.
If you wait too long for something, most likely it is no longer what you originally wanted.
"Okay, Miss Gu Xizhi, please come to the stage to accept the award."
On the big screen, a film clip was replayed, and then the triumphant music sounded. Gu Xizhi embraced those beside her in gratitude, and then she walked out from her seat, taking lively and brisk steps toward the stage.
This time, the lights and camera focused solely on her. Gu Xizhi received the award from Jia Yun, and after expressing her gratitude, she walked to the microphone at the host's signal to give her acceptance speech.
"Thank you for the kind words, Miss Jia Yun. I almost didn't dare to come up here with all that praise."
She said in a teasing tone and gestured toward Jia Yun, who was about to leave.
Jia Yun smiled and made a victory gesture.
The applause gradually subsided, and the lights changed their angles. The hosts and presenters stepped down from the stage, and various cameras focused on the sole remaining protagonist on the stage. Under the spotlight, her makeup was exquisite, and her youthful aura was undeniable.
"I am very happy to receive this long-awaited award. This opportunity is rare, it may take a few minutes of the organizer's time for me to share some thoughts from the heart. But before that, I'd like to say some routine words.'"
She held the trophy firmly in her hand, she was smiling, but very calm.
At moments like this, it seemed there was no fear of wasting the camera. Every time she spoke, the audience seats resounded with countless camera shutter sounds.
Amid the countless gazes, Gu Xizhi focused on Scarlett Li in the audience below, said, "I thank Director Scarlett Li for choosing me as her leading actress among so many actors, and I thank her for giving me the role of Qin Shiyu. The quality of an actor's performance is not unrelated to the character she interprets. This time, the four actresses nominated for Best Actress are all excellent. I don't want to receive this award because I'm better than them, but because the character I was given has a more powerful charm. I am very grateful that Director Li entrusted this role to me in the beginning, and also for her guidance during the filming process. Without Director Li, there would definitely be no Gu Xizhi standing on the stage today."
Onstage, Gu Xizhi gave a deep bow to Scarlett Li in the audience, and the camera shifted to capture Scarlett Li's serene smile.
"And now, I'd like to express my gratitude to the judges who voted for me," Gu Xizhi turned her attention back to the judges, continuing, "I'm approaching thirty this year, and I've been in this industry for nearly a decade. This marks my fourth nomination for Best Actress. I want to extend my thanks to the judges for closing a chapter of my youthful years, filled with battles and defeats before I hit the age of thirty."
Bowing in greeting, the audience burst into applause.
The live LED TV broadcast outside the cultural center piqued the interest of passersby. They finally decided to pause and watch the award presentation for Best Actress.
The close-up camera once again focused on Gu Xizhi. She held the trophy and directly addressed the camera as if she were talking to it.
"The third bow is dedicated to you." She bowed deeply to the camera, and when she raised her head, her smile remained composed, but the live audience sensed an underlying tension.
"Even though you didn't come, I know you must be watching."
The shutter sounds increased, and the camera once again turned to her. Her meaningful words made the people in the audience who were initially playing with their phones concentrate on the stage, their expressions becoming curious and focused.
"I bow to you because I know that if it weren't for you, I wouldn't even have had the opportunity for the first two bows." She kept looking directly into the camera. "When I met you at the age of twenty-six, I was still living in a world of confusion. Both my work and my relationships were particularly unsuccessful. You may not have been my first love, but you were the best love I've ever encountered. Your thoughtfulness even made me..."
When she mentioned the word "love," the audience suddenly realized and erupted into enthusiastic applause. Gu Xizhi's voice was drowned out, and it took a moment before she continued, smiling at the camera.
"Whether it's your excellence or your efforts towards me, it made me feel like you were unattainably superior, and I could only stand in the shadow of your greatness, forever an ordinary person who could never catch up to you. Four years ago, I was like dust, not daring to hope to walk side by side with you again. But four years later, to keep up with your pace, I put the cart before the horse and worked hard to match your love. I guess I've never disliked you, I just didn't dare to allow myself to like you. It's also because of this fear that this feeling was filled with so much hesitation and passivity."
The audience was particularly interested in this kind of heartwarming revelation, and as soon as she finished speaking, the hall erupted once again in enthusiastic applause.
"Lili once asked me a question, roughly asking if I would be willing to exchange you for superstar status," her tone always sounded as if she was speaking to someone else. "It's obvious that, without you, all the achievements mean nothing to me. Because in the past, these were just ladders to get closer to you. But if there's no one at the top of the ladder, what's the point of climbing up to such a cold place?"
She shook the trophy in her hand and said, "I like this very much, just because you have one too. I wanted to use it to shorten the distance between us, but in the end, I realized that I was wrong."
The enthusiastic applause intensified the atmosphere in the venue. Some were already whispering and discussing the object of her confession. After the applause subsided, Gu Xizhi could finally hear her own voice through the microphone.
"The reason why it's been so tortuous between us is simply because I saw you as too powerful. All along, you've been like an unattainable fairy tale to me. I've lived in your shadow from beginning to end. I didn't even dare to wear red, but the truth is, you're just an ordinary person with your own strengths and flaws, and I should have my own beautiful scenery, a kind of scenery that truly belongs to me."
She paused for a moment before adding, "I like you, and I'm willing to become better, and not necessarily in a narrow sense. So from today onwards, I no longer want to endlessly chase after films, just like I won't be pursuing shadows anymore."
After this statement, the audience below started buzzing with discussions. The news of the Best Actress winner announcing her retirement from acting right after receiving the award left the audience in shock for a moment, and the camera shutters captured the surprise.
"What I've been given is unforgettable, and there's no way to switch one's affection after loving someone. I only hope for another chance, to be loved like an ordinary person, to be loved like there's another 'me' in the world."
She looked sincerely into the camera. "I don't intend to say your name and trouble your undecided life. I just hope that wherever you are in the world, when you see me, hear me, you might change your mind and stay."
She clasped her hands together, her expression pious.
Although the audience was stunned, they still gave her encouraging applause.
At the same time, online media went almost crazy.
In her last Weibo post, which was just a repost, thousands of comments flooded in within a minute:
"Zhizhi, have you gone crazy? Is this a confession?"
"Ah ah ah ah, the Best Actress looks so beautiful!"
"Confession to whom?"
"Congratulations on winning Best Actress!"
Several hours later at the airport.
"Miss Gu, may I ask whether the person you confess your love to at tonight's award ceremony is a man or a woman?"
"Miss Gu Xizhi, did you just announce your retirement tonight? Are you really not going to make movies anymore?"
"Miss Gu, Miss Gu, there are speculations that you and the character Qin Shiyu from the movie are both gay, which is why you portrayed the role so convincingly. Is this true?"
Countless media reporters blocked Gu Xizhi's car, making it impossible to move forward. Helplessly, Lili said to the driver, "Turn around now. There are too many reporters; we can't go to the airport."
Gu Xizhi immediately said, "No, I have to go back tonight. It's getting late, and I won't make it to the plane."
"You've seen it too, there are so many reporters at every gate now, and we were surrounded in the past. It's impossible to catch the flight."
"I must go back tonight." Gu Xizhi looked at the time and emphasized, "You know I have to go to the airport early tomorrow."
"Let's drive to a neighboring city to catch a flight." Lili said dejectedly, "But the flight time may not be suitable."
Gu Xizhi looked at the rearview mirror, where the reporters were left far behind, and she wearily rested her head.
When they arrived in the neighboring city, it was already 1 a.m. The closest flight had taken off an hour ago, and the next one was scheduled for 6:30 a.m. the next day. Helpless, Gu Xizhi arranged for her companions to rest and booked a 6:30 a.m. flight.
In the early morning of the cold 12th Lunar Month*, it was still dark at around 6 a.m. in the airport's dimly lit corner. Most people were bundled up in thick down jackets. After a hard-fought boarding process, Gu Xizhi contacted Liang Huan once again. This time, her voice was notably clear.
*the term used was θ ζ (lan yue) which means 12th Lunar Month which is around mid-February before the Lunar New Year, MT translated it as December and I missed the error. Sorry for the confusion ππ and thanks to Poms (commenter #5 ☺️) for pointing this out π»π₯°
"Xiao Jing, Anda, and I are already at the airport. Don't worry, if we see Shen Ya and Qu Xizhi later, we will definitely intercept them."
"I won't thank you again," Gu Xizhi checked the time, "I'll call you as soon as I get off the plane. Please make sure to stop Qu Xizhi."
"I will."
The plane sounded a reminder to turn off phones. Gu Xizhi hesitated before finally putting her phone down, gazing at the faint flickers of light outside the window in the deep darkness.
Morning, 7:30.
Airport waiting area.
Liang Ying was constantly moving around at the security checkpoint. Anda, feeling worried, picked her up and brought her back to her seat. Liang Huan, who had been waiting for a long time, said to Anda and Liang Ying, "It's 7:30; their plane should have taken off. Why can't we see them yet?"
Anda checked the time and said, "Let's wait a bit longer."
While talking, Liang Ying tilted her head and looked toward the entrance of the airport's west gate, tugging on Anda's sleeve, "Dad, Dad, Xiao A'Qu, and Big Cannon Fodder are here."
7:40.
Gu Xizhi got off the plane as soon as it landed and called Liang Huan immediately. The other party answered the call quickly but sounded apologetic.
"Sorry, Xiao Jing, I..."
Gu Xizhi was stunned, "Has she left?"
"The plane took off two minutes ago."
Gu Xizhi suddenly stopped.
It was a slightly sunny morning, a little after 7 o'clock. Gu Xizhi turned around to look at the planes taking off, her gaze finally settling on the distant horizon illuminated by the sun.
The horizon is where the sky meets the earth, and it's also the end of heaven and earth. In ancient times, people called it the "Tianya".
Gu Xizhi stared at it for a long time before reluctantly picking up her phone, "Did you talk to her?"
"Shen Ya has many people around her. If she doesn't want to talk, countless mouths can answer for her."
Gu Xizhi was silent for a while, then nodded slowly, "I understand, thank you."
Early in the morning, the airport waiting area was filled with boarding announcements, and a thin mist enveloped the greenery outside the airport, creating a relatively peaceful atmosphere.
Gu Xizhi walked out of the waiting area alone and hailed a taxi. The taxi driver initially had the city news playing, but when he saw a passenger, he switched to a light melody.
The driver was a middle-aged man. Even though Gu Xizhi wore sunglasses, he recognized her at a glance.
"Miss Gu, where would you like to go?"
Gu Xizhi looked up at him in slight surprise, then smiled politely and said, "Just keep going ahead."
"Okay." The driver accelerated and said nothing more.
The refreshing morning air was invigorating, and as the traffic started to build up along the way during the morning rush hour, it became a vibrant cityscape. The city was so vast and bustling, and the people on the streets had diverse emotions. The myriad expressions of the world made every individual's joys and sorrows seem insignificant.
The taxi continued straight for a while before Gu Xizhi spoke, "Go to the riverside."
"Okay." the driver replied with a smile. "But I should remind you, today is Valentine's Day. It should be more busy by the riverside once the sun rises a bit higher."
Gu Xizhi smiled and nodded, "Thank you, I understand."
On a chilly morning by the river, there were only elderly people exercising and taking leisurely walks. Occasionally, young people pass by, most of them busy with their journeys. After paying the fare, Gu Xizhi said goodbye to the driver. When she turned around, the sun, which was already after 8 o'clock, cast its golden light on the river, enveloping the homes of countless people along the river and creating a picturesque scene.
An elderly couple supported each other as they slowly descended from the bridge. The golden sunlight bathed their completely white hair, creating a serene and timeless scene.
Gu Xizhi watched the two of them walk away and finally ascended the bridge.
The vast river looks quiet because there are few people disturbing it. Cruise ships are docked on the shore. The cold and tall buildings in the distance exude a touch of warmth in the sun. The huge new poster of the ellato building is still attracting the attention of the whole city. The woman in the picture is wearing a long silver dress studded with diamonds, with a bright and charming smile and a dignified and elegant posture.
Living in the camera for too long often blurs the line between real humanity and flawless fantasies.
Gu Xizhi looked at her for a long time, took out her phone, and sent a message to a long-unused phone number, facing the sunlight.
"Peach blossoms bloom in March, chrysanthemums in September, each waiting for its own time."
"I still want to wait."
T/N: there's an alternate version where parts changed after the line above.
Not long after sending the message, the sound of someone else's phone receiving a message rang in Gu Xizhi's ears. She casually glanced at the person beside her, and her gaze once again turned to the vast river.
After about two seconds, Gu Xizhi's gaze gradually shifted away from the river, her expression appearing somewhat complex.
Another two seconds passed, and Gu Xizhi clenched her hands, slowly turning her head towards the person beside her.
Over the quiet city, countless pink and blue balloons suddenly floated in the sky. A stunning woman stood on the bridge just two meters away from her. She wore a warm beige coat on her upper body, and the red rootless shoes under her feet, along with her vibrant red lips, were like the brightest colors of winter.
She smiled at Gu Xizhi, and her smile became even more radiant due to its sweetness.
"Gu Xizhi, Happy Valentine's Day."
Rows of neatly arranged bi-colored balloons formed a huge heart shape due to their carefully orchestrated sequence. Those delicate and lightweight objects rose higher and higher with the wind, gradually blanketing the sky over the city.
More and more people stopped to look up, and more and more people pointed in surprise.
They carry love and float to an unknown distance as if the other end is still on a distant horizon.
Gu Xizhi watched them as they searched for that place called "Tianya." A long time later, she raised an excited smile and said, "I just made a wish."
Someone answered her, "What wish?"
"I hope that from now on, every year at this time, I can be here to talk to you..."
She stared at her, "Can we still be here on Valentine's Day next year?"
Qu Xizhi smiled as she walked the path that bridged all the distances between them.
The river swept on, leaving a beautiful echo in the distant air.
That echo consisted of just one word.
"Okay."
And I'm so glad she didn't have to retire on acting because of love, I mean I get the sentiment but that just proves that she really can't get over Miss Qu's shadow because Qu never really want her to retire and in this state, nothing was resolved and even if they get together again, she might have found another aspect to feel inferior about and they will both get back to the same spot.
In this aspect, I liked the revised version where Miss Gu's change and growth didn't solely depend on Miss Qu