"Professor, have a drink~."

"Yes, thank you."

Jae-hee calmly received a glass of alcohol from the representative of the department. It was the first night of the College of Education's field trip, and Jae-hee, who belonged to the younger group, drank and engaged in conversations with the students, trying to match their energy. She thought the way the student council members seamlessly integrated into the atmosphere between the professors was no different from before or now.

Jae-hee's college days were only 6 or 7 years ago, so this atmosphere was still familiar to her. Most undergraduate students didn't prefer socializing with professors over drinks, but Jae-hee was an exception. While she was strict in exams, her classes were humorous and witty, earning her the love of her students. Moreover, unbeknownst to herself, Jae-hee, renowned as a goddess of beauty, was undoubtedly one of the central figures in this space. Gathering courage, the representative of the College of Education spoke up among the watchful eyes of the student council.

"Um, by the way, did your wife say it's okay?"

"Are you talking about staying out overnight like this?"

"Oh, uh... yes."

"It's okay if we communicate in advance. We're both busy, after all."

Knowing that she had married a well-known figure, Jae-hee was aware that students were interested in her. But seeing their ears perk up in person, she couldn't help but find it cute as she raised her glass. Of course, being in a same-sex marriage played a part, but Yoo-jin's fame also had an influence.

During her time as a university student in Korea, Jae-hee focused solely on her studies and was unaware of the internet, social media, and gossip. However, Yoo-jin had been a standout since high school with her exceptional fashion sense and striking appearance.

"Your wife is totally hip*."

*stylish, fashionable, or trendy

"....Hip? Buttocks?"

*엉덩이 (eongdeong-i) same word is used to refer to both the butt and the hip in Korean.

Seeing Jae-hee's face stiffen as if her wife was being mocked in front of her, the college representative quickly corrected herself.

"Oh no, no! I mean she dresses really well! I've seen her pictures in magazines!"

"Ah, I see... She's known for having great taste."

"Haha, our esteemed professor. I know what you mean..."

Realizing that she couldn't keep up with the language and culture of the college students, Jae-hee chuckled awkwardly and added, "I guess I'm still just a studious person who only focuses on studying." She sighed in disappointment. Her mentor and superior, Professor Han, burst into laughter. Jae-hee, feeling a mix of confusion and awkwardness, forced a smile and replied.

"I do have some knowledge and experience when it comes to fashion."

"Do you also style outfits, Professor?"

"Well, since I mostly wear suits, there's no need for that..."

"Ei, both of you have great looks, so it would be nice if you're also into hip fashion."

In response to the representative's witty remark, Jae-hee recalled herself wearing Yoo-jin's clothes. Their fashion sense was completely opposite. Jae-hee thought of the glamorous Yoo-jin, who was known as a famous fashionista even among the chaebols. The term "hip" suited her well with her exceptional casual fashion sense. Moreover, with her striking appearance overshadowing her fashion sense, Jae-hee believed that even if she wore her own clothes, they would look good on her. A smile formed on Jae-hee's face, especially since she's also the CEO of the country's top department store, which is a fashion leader.

Wasn't it Yoo-jin who ranked fifth in the real-time search rankings with her stylish airport fashion on their return from their well-prepared honeymoon trip? At that time, Jae-hee remembered the related search terms that appeared, such as 'Ha Yoo-jin's wife in plaid' and 'Ha Yoo-jin's spouse, an engineering student,' and she smiled bitterly.

According to someone on a forum site, there was a question asking, "Why does Ha Yoo-jin's wife wear a plaid shirt buttoned up to the neck like a nerd? Is she an engineering student?" And there were responses like, "She may not be an engineering student, but she's a professor who focuses only on studying and seems to lack fashion sense," and "Looks like a complete nerd. Why does she dress like that?;; She should get rid of those geeky horn-rimmed glassesㅠ." It was said that Jae-hee, who prided herself on pursuing a clean and neat fashion style, couldn't help but laugh wistfully.

"Professor, is it true that you were a CC*?"

*Campus Couple 

With a curious tone, one person spoke up. Despite the hint from the representative, fueled by the alcohol, the person looked directly at Jae-hee without hesitation. It was a rather bold question, but sensing the curiosity in their eyes, Jae-hee nodded lightly.

"We weren't a CC in college, but we were a CC during graduate school."

"Woah!"

"Daebak*, daebak!"

*대박: amazing, an exclamation expressing excitement or astonishment

Was the student who asked the question also a CC? Their appearance as a couple seemed quite fitting. Despite the simple answer, Jae-hee couldn't help but smile at the enthusiastic reactions from the students. Being at an age where such stories are entertaining and knowing that it wasn't an officially disclosed matter, it was hard not to take an interest in the off-the-record anecdotes.

"Then where did you first meet?"

"First meeting, tell us a first meeting story~"

I remember when I was a student, there were no kids like these. Of course, Jae-hee's younger age might have made it easier for students to approach her, but faced with the direct question, she pondered on how to respond. Glancing at Professor Han sitting nearby, who subtly signaled to go ahead, she nodded lightly and began to share a story.

With a light-hearted gesture, Jae-hee raised her soju glass, and the observant representative of the department quickly refilled it. Taking a gulp of soju, she reminisced vividly, despite the passing years, and smiled warmly.

As Jae-hee's face lit up with a smile, as if recalling happy memories, some male students blushed. Her pretty face, which wouldn't be out of place among celebrities, was adorned with a refreshing smile, devoid of any discomfort.

"The first meeting... Well, it happened at the university library."

As Jae-hee mentioned the library as their first meeting place, the department representative, who had attended Professor Seon's classes throughout two semesters, couldn't help but slightly grimace. It was a first meeting that befitted a professor known for bombarding students with assignments.

"On that day, I wanted to read something other than educational books... So, I was wandering aimlessly. I found myself slowly browsing through the humanities section, and there, in a corner, was a petite Korean person."

As Jae-hee reminisced about Yoo-jin, who was shorter than her by about a head, a smile formed on her face.

"Usually, there would be a temporary ladder or stairs nearby, but of course, there was none around, so this person was struggling, hopping on tiptoes to reach a book. It was adorable. I wanted to help, so I approached..."

The sunlight was pouring down, making her eyes squint. When Jae-hee reached out and pulled out the book the person was struggling to reach, she turned around to look at her.

"When I handed her the book, I realized she was Korean. She had black hair and eyes, but what stood out more was the book she held in her hands, something like a guidebook for Koreans. And as soon as I saw her, I fell in love at first sight."

Upon hearing the phrase "fell in love at first sight," some of the classmates nodded their heads. Just by typing the name "Ha Yoo-jin" on a popular online portal, numerous photos of her, which were even more beautiful than those of celebrities, appears. The public opinion overwhelmingly favored the idea that Yoo-jin would be better off as a department store model rather than an entertainer, so it was understandable that Jae-hee had fallen in love at first sight.

"Did you ask for her phone number?"

"No, I didn't. I had a feeling that someone with such captivating looks must have been asked that question countless times, so I asked something else."

"About what...?"

"While asking when she should return the book, she asked me to return it on her behalf. And then I gave her my phone number."

She can clearly see Yoo-jin's panicked face as she fumbles her name and number into the notebook she's holding.

"Heol*, daebak. Professor Seon is hard at work."

*헐, an exclamation expressing surprise or disbelief 

"Wow, you've got great intuition. How did you think of giving your number first?"

"I can only control my own feelings of interest, I can't know how she feels. So I gave her the choice to contact me. If she doesn't want to, there's nothing I can do about it. I didn't want to force anything."

Excited voices of admiration erupted from various people around. A student who was engrossed in the story asked Jae-hee:

"So did she contact you?"

"Well we're here now... she became my wife. That person."

Jae-hee chuckled as she observed some students squirming in response to the sweetness overload. Even though it was a faded memory, it was still heartwarming to be able to bring excitement to someone's life. Jae-hee raised her glass, which shimmered with the half-filled alcohol.

"So, did you meet, receive the book, and go on a date?"

"Um..."

Jae-hee thought of Yoo-jin. More than the image of her being hurt and wounded, she still cherished the youthful and lovely image of Yoo-jin from that day. Even if someone else's feelings may not have been genuine, the memories of that day held sincerity for Jae-hee. It wasn't something she could easily discard based on a few words from Yoo-jin. Slowly sipping her drink, Jae-hee replied.

"That's a secret~"

With a smile that seemed to convey the preciousness of the memory, Jae-hee laughed. Despite it being autumn, a distinct scent of spring lingered in the air, and Jae-hee brushed her hair back as if embracing its refreshing essence. Witnessing this, the students blushed, regardless of their gender.

 *   *   *

Professor Han, who came out to get some fresh air, glanced back at Jae-hee, who had followed, and said,

"It's fascinating how Professor Seon seems like someone who is experienced in relationships."

"Is that so?"

Professor Han burst into a hearty laughter and pulled out a cigarette from his pocket. Swiftly, Jae-hee, took out a Zippo lighter from her pocket and lit the cigarette for Professor Han. Professor Han silently looked at Jae-hee. It was an old-fashioned habit to carry a lighter even though she had quit smoking. It was an unusual trait that didn't conform to the current norms. Although it was a questionable practice, in a graduate school where hierarchical relationships were clearly defined, those who excelled in such "social skills" tended to survive longer.

Jae-hee was a student who had a maturity beyond her age. Just a few years ago, Professor Han, who used to teach Jae-hee in the classroom, now found himself unable to hide his proud feelings as he looked at her, his former student, standing beside him as a colleague professor.

"Jae-hee."

"...yes, Professor."

"At that time, there were many eyes around us, so I couldn't talk about it, but I genuinely congratulate you on your marriage."

"...thank you."

Professor Han opened his mouth, which had been closed for a while, as he watched Jae-hee, who stood out among the students he had raised, displaying her presence at academic conferences and revealing her remarkable abilities.

"I still understand very well the noises that you hear from your surroundings. In fact, I'm not sure if those noises will ever cease in the future. As someone who has walked a very typical and universal path, it is challenging for me to fully understand you, let alone offer advice that could be helpful. I've been silent all this time because I could only offer the most obvious words: Be strong, things will work out, I support you. I'm sure you have heard those same words from many people around you."

Jae-hee looked up at the sky following Professor Han's gaze. Being outside of the city, the stars were much more visible than in the urban area.

"...I occasionally enjoy going on drives to the outskirts with my wife. On days when she is exhausted from work, I take her hand and we go out to the less crowded parks in the suburbs for a walk. Walking in the quiet park, away from the fatigue of people, we sometimes have conversations we couldn't have as a couple before... or sometimes we share a deeper connection just by walking without saying a word."

"...Is that so?"

"I don't think I continue an ideal married life. We argue and hurt each other. But the fact that we can still have a marriage where the path of conversation remains open, even as we grow older, is because we still cherish and love each other just as much."

Jae-hee, who knew Professor Han's temperament well, nodded slowly. Professor Han's wife, who occasionally visited S University, was a familiar face to Jae-hee as well. Among those who witnessed Professor Han the most, walking arm in arm around the campus, was Jae-hee herself, who had struggled with the assignments given by him and had been shuttling between the library and the dormitory. Back then, some thought of him as a wicked person who piled up assignments and went on dates alone. Reflecting on her immature thoughts, Jae-hee chuckled.

"As I listened to your story just now, I thought... that you can love and stay together for a long time like us married couple. I didn't think so before, but today I feel certain."

Professor Han looked at his former student, who had entered into an ordinary romance and an ordinary marriage like many others.

"Congratulations on your marriage."

"...thank you, Professor."

Professor Han flicked the cigarette butt into the outdoor ashtray and gently tapped Jae-hee's shoulder a couple of times before entering the room first. Watching the back of Professor Han, Jae-hee crossed her arms and leaned against the wall.

'Perhaps the kind of couple that the professor envisions may not be the case.'

Even if I don't understand love, we can still stay together for a long time, right? Even if I become so lonely that I can't feel the reality of being married, as long as I can endure it on my own. We can still be together for a long time.

Embracing a small and desolate heart, she could only gaze at the back of that person. Still unable to believe it, yearning for the affectionate side of that person. Even though each day feels exhausting and burdensome.

If I can remain by the side of that person, who is insanely beautiful even in the moments that inflicted lifelong wounds upon me.

I don't think there's anything wrong with mortgaging my life.

*   *   *

As the drinking session grew rowdy, with new students collapsing and falling, the professors glanced at each other, preparing to leave first. Professor Han, the department head, was the first to rise from his seat, followed slowly by the rest of the professors. The students pretended to be disappointed and clung to the professors one by one, but Jae-hee quietly chuckled as she watched the new students singing raucously behind the professors. They were an honest bunch.

"Well, it's about time the old folks leave."

"Ei, Professor Han, why would you say that?"

"Let the students have fun among themselves. It's obvious that having professors around would make them uncomfortable."

"Professor Seon, please don't go..."

Jae-hee turned away without any regrets, witnessing Professor Han confidently handing his card to the pretending disappointed students. He must be really drunk.

Since the professors had booked a hotel with their own funds, the place they stayed was much better than a regular guesthouse where undergraduate students would pass out. Jae-hee draped her coat over herself and lay on the neatly arranged bed, picking up her phone. Then, she gazed silently at the number saved as 'Wife.' After contemplating, Jae-hee made the call. After a couple of rings, someone answered the phone.

"Hello."

"…uh, it's me."

Her name would have popped up on the phone anyway, but Jae-hee dared to say it was 'me'. There was silence. It was Yoo-jin who spoke first.

"Mm...Did you arrive at the hotel?"

"...are you home?"

"Still at work. Things keep happening."

"Don't overwork yourself. Go home and get some rest. No one's going to appreciate your hard work anyway."

Jae-hee regretted her unnecessary meddling and biting remark. The other end remained silent. Since the party, they hadn't shown their true feelings, but there was an underlying tension. Had Jae-hee gone too far in trying to take care of things? Did she cross a line? She constantly agonized over it.

"... okay."

"..."

Jae-hee pursed her lips at the unexpected response. The compliant "okay" didn't sound pleasing to her ears. She would have preferred a sharp retort in return. While speaking words she didn't truly feel to Yoo-jin, Jae-hee couldn't hide her complex emotions and let out a sigh.

"Dad suggested having a meal together next week. Is that okay?"

"...Mm, I'll make time for it."

"You must have had a lot to drink. You must be tired."

"I should go to sleep now..."

Yoo-jin pressed her dry lips together and gazed out of the office window. As she looked at the twinkling city lights, she felt a strange sensation. Yoo-jin had a feeling that Jae-hee would say her nightly farewell. There was no reason for Jae-hee to call at this hour except for one.

"...sleep well, honey."

"Mm, Jae-hee too, sleep well."

Silence fill the air as the call was disconnected. Yoo-jin stared at the blank screen, then out the window. She was supposed to be a bitch, a bitch, a bitch, but it wasn't easy because...Jae Hee was still there. Jae-hee, who had been sweet throughout their relationship, had changed Yoo-jin who had vowed never to marry.

Unbeknownst to herself, Yoo-jin always felt that Jae-hee understood her emotions, like a ghostly presence that could perceive them. Jae-hee consistently did their best to make Yoo-jin happy, showering her with an unconditional and unwavering love. How could anyone not love someone like Jae-hee?

'...Mm, I don't love her. It's a loveless marriage.'

Yoo-jin mused over her own words, coming to the conclusion that the relationship with Jae-hee couldn't be salvaged. No matter what she said, Jae-hee wouldn't accept it. And... she didn't want to say it.

'Love? You think I love her?'

Why do I keep feeling regret? Why are there tears on Jae-hee's face shimmering like that?

"...how could someone like me love anyone?"

Yoo-jin gently caressed the wedding ring on her left ring finger. Being someone who feeds off others and was born a parasite, how can I deserve to love? Someone like me.

 *   *   *

"Right, how is the research coming along?"

"Thanks to your concerns, it's progressing smoothly without any difficulties."

"There are high expectations."

"Thank you."

Cheon-woo's voice carried a sense of pressure, but Jae-hee's voice exuded confidence. Cheon-woo held up his chopsticks and spoke while looking at Jae-hee.

"We had some trouble recently with Won Seong-hyeok causing a commotion at the capital university... but thanks to you, it passed smoothly."

"No, it's not because of me. It's because Father* is exceptional. And wasn't that negativity from the opposition?"

*아버님 (abeonim) a respectful way of addressing someone else's father, it can also be used to address a father-in-law. Yoo-jin calls her father 아버지 (abeoji) when talking to someone else and 아빠 (appa) (less formal) when talking to her father

Cheon-woo nodded in approval of Jae-hee's response. With his distinguished presence befitting the name of a three-term congressman and a potential presidential candidate, his white hair exuded a certain dignity. With a voice that resonated like a typical politician, Jae-hee stood up straight and looked at Cheon-woo, appearing more tense than when she was with Yoo-jin.

"People criticize me for accepting a daughter-in-law who isn't from a political background... But I don't think that way. It's even more beneficial to have a scholar like you joining us. Living strictly according to conventions is impossible."

What is a marriage that aligns with conventions, and what is a marriage that doesn't? Jae-hee managed to suppress the turmoil within while maintaining a polite smile.

"...that's right."

"In politics, everything..."

While Yoo-jin averted her gaze from her father, who was delivering a long speech, she observed Jae-hee's reaction. Seeing Jae-hee responding to Cheon-woo's words with a forced smile, Yoo-jin felt uncomfortable. She had married Jae-hee to screw her father over, but instead of being screwed, Cheon-woo had used it to further strengthen his own political position.

Yoo-jin felt a sense of hatred towards Cheon-woo, who raised his approval rating through a tearful press conference officially admitting her marriage to Jae-hee. Yoo-jin hated her father for pouring out rude words at Jae-hee.

'...Dad'

'...'

'Dad'

With indifferent and cold eyes, you ignored me and walked ahead. Yoojin couldn't forget that scene. It was repulsive to see him now pretending to be a warm father figure.

"...jin, Yoo-jin."

"...yes?"

"Why are you so absent-minded during the meal?"

Yoo-jin bit her lip and lowered her head at Cheon-woo's cold remark. His sharp gaze was fixed on her. Jae-hee, too, put down her chopsticks and gave a cautious smile, sensing the awkwardness.

"I'm sorry."

"Tsk…forget it."

Watching Cheon-woo click his tongue disapprovingly, Yoo-jin felt her stomach churn. At that time, Jae-hee wrapped Yoo-jin's hand under the table. Jae-hee smiled at Cheon-woo as if nothing had happened, and although he said that she was her daughter-in-law, they just met, Cheon-woo, who was in a formal setting, cleared his throat and changed the subject.

"Did you say there's a recital at brother-in-law's place next week?"

"Oh, yes. Aunt* extended the invitation."

*외숙모(wesokmo) maternal uncle's wife.

"We can go with Father."

"Yeah, it seems to fit the occasion and it should be nice. By the way, what about the superintendent yesterday..."

I really hate this. Yoo-jin frowned as she watched her father bring up work topics even at the dining table. Despite that, she couldn't help but feel amazed at Jae-hee's shamelessness as she laughed and interacted with her father.

"Don't you have any sense of propriety? Why are you just standing there and listening to those words?"

"Well... I can't say he's wrong."

Yoo-jin felt frustrated by Jae-hee's indifferent demeanor. Although she couldn't fully focus on her as she was looking ahead, Yoo-jin sensed that something was amiss from her seemingly unaffected face.

"Weren't you bothered? You could have argued back, but why are you just standing there and listening? Anyone can see that he's belittling you, disrespecting you. Why are you just standing there, smiling and listening to everything?"

"Yoo-jin."

"It's frustrating. You're not someone who would let others disrespect you elsewhere. Why is it only in front of my Dad...!"

"...Weren't you the one who told me to work hard while receiving Father's support?"

Yoo-jin tightly pressed her lips together at Jae-hee's subdued voice. 'We're in a contract marriage, doing things your way, so why are you questioning me like that?' Yoo-jin gripped the steering wheel tightly, even though she couldn't contain her anger. Nevertheless, Yoo-jin couldn't resist and started speaking her mind.

Jae-hee decided to keep her mouth shut until Yoo-jin finished speaking. Yoo-jin could get carried away when she is upset, especially when it came to her father. Jae-hee looked out of the car window with blurry eyes, thinking that she shouldn't provoke her. Whenever she saw Yoo-jin explode with anger like that, old memories kept resurfacing. There was never any good in trying to reason with an enraged Yoo-jin.

'Ah, those bastards!'

'Yoo-jin, calm down.'

‘Did you see them flying cuckoo* at us?  How can you bear it?!'

*뻐큐 날리다 (ppeokyu nallida), flipping or giving someone derogatory looks or remarks

It was a struggle to restrain Yoo-jin, who was jumping with anger, as she watched the passing white people, tearing her eyes and cursing under her breath. To quiet down the spirited Yoo-jin, how could Jae-hee make her close her mouth?... Jae-hee reached out and overlapped her hand with Yoo-jin's, which was perched on the edge.

"Why do you keep..."

As Jae-hee held her hand, Yoo-jin's words trailed off. Jae-hee looked at her like that and then shifted her gaze forward.

"I'm listening. Go on."

"...nevermind."

"Yoo-jin."

"What?"

A silence fell. Unable to ignite her anger again, Yoo-jin responded in a nervous tone, focusing on driving. Jae-hee gently brushed her hand against her cold hand. Yoo-jin couldn't contain her anger when it boiled over, and Jae-hee, who waited for her like that, was still the same. Grumbling, getting angry, Jae-hee took the brunt of Yoo-jin's tantrums without holding back her pride when it came to the most painful subject of all: her father.

Jae-hee chuckled bitterly. I know Yoo-jin so well, so... She must have wanted to marry me. Even if she didn't love me as a romantic partner, I was the partner she "needed." I knew better than anyone else how to calm her down, what she needed the most when she was feeling anxious. Jae-Hee felt a pang of sadness, but she didn't let it show, and to change the subject, she recalled something that had happened recently.

"...I heard during the field trip a few days ago that you are so 'hip'."

"How did you know about that word? You're not interested in SNS*."

*social networking sites

"Oh...You know what that means?

And then Jae-hee realized. Unlike her, who was just focused on studying and considered a nerd, Yoo-jin is a fashionista and a trendsetter

"They tried to make the department store marketing more hip this time. A lot of young employees gave their opinions. But me, hip?"

"...I saw a photo article, that surprised me because you were the complete opposite of me. Well, it wouldn't be right for both of us to be wearing geeky shirts like engineering students. The department store's sales would plummet."

If it was a photo article, it was probably taken during their recent honeymoon trip back home... Yoo-jin softly observed Jae-hee, who recited the words that had appeared as related search terms.

"Well, there's nothing wrong with your checkered shirt. You only wear suits…but you look neat and good in them too."

"Fashion people like you, can't keep up."

As Jae-hee spoke, Yoo-jin's gaze kept drifting towards her: she has a good figure, and any clothes suits her well… should she care about that? Yoo-jin recalled the search history on Jae-hee's computer in the living room, which contained phrases like 'Ha Yoo-jin's wife, geeky shirts' and 'Ha Yoo-jin's wife, engineering student'. Timid Jae-hee must have surely read all the comments related to that.

However, Jae-hee was a person with a beautiful figure that suited the suit well. It was just that the shirt didn't go well with her, but Jae-hee's frame was quite decent. Without knowing Yoo-jin's thoughts, Jae-hee kept talking, hoping Yoo-jin would feel better.

'...you said you'll make my life miserable.'

Looking at Jae-hee trying to comfort her as she used to, Yoo-jin tightly gripped the steering wheel. Jae-hee, who must have been hurt the most, didn't even consider her own feelings. Although Yoo-jin felt suffocated, she didn't show it. Jae-hee was always like that. She only cared about Yoo-jin and didn't pay any attention to her own pain.

Therefore, Yoo-jin thought that she could close her eyes once again and rely on Jae-hee's kindness. With a selfish mindset, Yoo-jin listened attentively to her busy words, trying to comfort herself.

  *   *   *

"Secretary Choi."

"Yes, CEO."

Yoo-jin glanced around the private room filled with top-class brands among the tenant brands. It wasn't unusual for her to visit this place under the pretext of irregularly inspecting the quality of services and products. However, today, Yoo-jin's gaze seemed more like 'exploration' rather than an inspection. It resembled the gaze of Yoo-jin while shopping, and Secretary Choi hesitated before speaking up.

"...CEO, is there something you're looking for?"

"No, it's not that."

Yoo-jin glanced over the section filled with abundant collections for the current season and then looked at Secretary Choi. Is it contradictory for someone who claims not to love to even care about clothes? Still, they are a married couple, so it should be okay to coordinate their outfits to some extent. They are a show-window couple, so they should care about their outward appearance too, right? Yoo-jin knew it was unreasonable, but she rationalized it to herself and spoke.

"...isn't it one of the virtues of a couple to coordinate outfits for each other?"

"...pardon?"

"Although my case is a bit different, usually... after getting married, the wife takes care of the husband's clothes. She also helps with styling."

"Yes, that's usually the case."

After saying that, Yoo-jin quietly gazed at the clothes. Secretary Choi didn't know what was making Yoo-jin hesitate, but she made up her mind to advise Yoo-jin to fulfill her role as a secretary.

"My mother also takes care of coordinating my father's outfits. Although the dynamics may be different when it comes to a marriage between two women, I don't think it's unreasonable for couples to pay attention to each other's clothing."

"... that may be true, but it could still make someone uncomfortable."

"What... Ah."

Soo-yeong recalled the information that was cautiously provided to her in the PR Strategy Department. Searching with the title of the wife of the top domestic department store CEO, associated search terms such as 'nerdy shirts,' 'fashion terrorist,' and 'worst dresser' appeared. The PR Strategy Department couldn't help but feel greatly perplexed. They couldn't report that information directly to their boss, but they couldn't keep it hidden either, so they handed it over to Soo-yeong on their behalf.

The document, clearly reflecting the awkward situation, contained tearful pleas, asking the CEO for advice on how to handle the situation.

Although Soo-yeong considered it a matter between the couple and initially dismissed the document, thinking she couldn't casually intervene, she cautiously added another remark, thinking that if it were Jae-hee, a well-known name, she would readily accept Yoo-jin's styling.

"And also, since she cares a lot about you, I believe Madam would appreciate it if you coordinate outfits."

"...is that so?"

Will Jae-hee appreciate it? Will she be happy to receive what I give? Yoo-jin felt skeptical, but gradually, her heart began to lean towards Soo-yeong's words. Especially when she recalled Jae-hee, who mentioned the "nerdy shirts" three times with a sorrowful smile, she couldn't help but pay attention.

"Jae-hee... I mean, that person really looks good in a suit. Despite the strange article photo, she has a beautiful face and a well-proportioned figure..."

"Yes, that's true."

"She only wears suits for work, but it's like the reporters think they've caught a big story... She's not a public figure, and they shouldn't write hurtful articles about her."

"Yes, you're right."

"That person is tall and has a good proportion... Do you remember seeing her at the wedding? If she wears heels, she's about a hand taller than me. Honestly, it's not easy for a suit to look good on her."

"You make a valid point."

Soo-yeong responded with a pleased smile, feeling gratified by Yoo-jin's words. Her superior, who always appeared cold and composed, only seemed to relax when mentioning her wife. Seeing her boss, who normally praised her own wife without realizing it, with sparkling eyes, Soo-yeong felt a warm emotion.

Yoo-jin realized that she had spoken too much and hurriedly adjusted her expression. Ahem, she cleared her throat and refined her tone, but it seemed too late. Soo-yeong had no intention of erasing her contented smile.

"So, what I mean is..."

"Yes, CEO."

"...from here to there, pay for everything in my name."

"Yes, understood."

Jae-hee, with long legs like a model, looked great in elegant two-pieces and suits. Yoo-jin knew better than anyone how beautiful Jae-hee's body was. She recalled the graceful neckline that had captivated her gaze just a few days ago.

While a dress that exposed the neck would also be fine, Yoo-jin didn't pay much attention to dresses. She shifted her focus to daring outfits that showcased the slender neckline and sharp collarbones, knowing how sexy they would look on Jae-hee's provocative body.

'It's only natural for a wife to take care of her partner's clothes. This should be fine. Ah, after all, how one appears to the outside world is so important.'

Rationalizing her actions, Yoo-jin convinced herself that what she was doing was justified and natural, and she continued walking with a confident stride.

 *   *   *

As there was no morning lecture, Jae-hee, who rarely slept in and tossed around in bed, struggled to get up. After having only one two-hour lecture in the afternoon and planning to meet with friends she studied abroad with, Jae-hee ran a hand through her disheveled hair and drifted off. Since starting her studies and becoming a professor, she had gained a bit of leisure. Last night, she stayed up late revising a paper, and she was still lying in bed, unable to shake off the lingering fatigue. Jae-hee strained her blurry eyes, focusing and laboriously getting up.

With a creaking sound coming from her sore lower back, which had been aching since last night, Jae-hee wondered if she should undergo physical therapy as she lightly stretched. About to go to the bathroom to freshen up, Jae-hee glanced at something hanging in the closet and raised her eyebrows.

"...what is this?"

Jae-hee, who usually didn't hang anything in the closet, was taken aback and stopped in her tracks before approaching it.

"What is this...?"

Hanging there were clothes, neatly stacked and wrapped in a well-kept garment bag. There was only one person in our house who would hang these. Jae-hee gazed at the dust bag, where the name of a famous brand was boldly printed. Was it a trench coat? Holding up the shirt and slacks, Jae-hee examined them closely and then looked around. There was a sticky note attached to the side of the closet.

[Don't button up all the way to the top, leave about three buttons undone from the top, and wear the shoes placed outside.]

Rather than wondering why suddenly, Jae-hee gently smiled at the message written on the sticky note.

[Don't be out too late.]

Isn't this a cute handwriting for a bad person? Jae-hee swept away the sticky note. She found it adorable to imagine Yoo-jin, who usually goes to work earlier, sneaking into this room to hang the clothes and leave a note. Jae-hee is a light sleeper and would wake up easily even to minor noises. However, the fact that she didn't wake up meant that Yoo-jin had been very careful while entering… It was hard to imagine such a scene.

Jae-hee leaned against the desk and looked out the window. The sky was filled with heavy clouds, as if it was about to pour rain. Was that why the trench coat was prepared?

"If you're going to be cold-hearted, do it until the end… What do you want me to do?"

Even saying that, Jae-hee couldn't wipe the smile off her face. It felt good to start the day like this, thanks to Yoo-jin's small actions. Jae-hee knew she was being foolish and gullible. Despite pushing her away, hurting her, and stabbing her with a dagger, she wags her tail happily when Yoo-jin showed some kindness.

Knowing it was pathetic and stupid, Jae-hee couldn't let go of her affection for Yoo-jin. Even if it was considered lingering, it didn't matter. She loved Yoo-jin enough to cherish even the word "hate."

"...so annoying, really."

While uttering words of annoyance, Jae-hee laughed like a fool.

 *   *   *

At a boisterous samgyeopsal* restaurant. Although they rented a room, it was noisy because it was a meat restaurant  with drunk old voices in the next room that came and went outside. Jae-hee glanced around. It was a long-awaited reunion with friends from their study-abroad days. Moreover, it was their first meeting since Jae-hee's wedding. In the awkward atmosphere, Tae-ho, who gave off a somewhat meek impression, poured a generous amount of soju** into Jae-hee's glass.

*popular Korean dish consisting of grilled pork belly. Samgyeopsal is typically served with various accompaniments such as lettuce leaves, kimchi, pickled radishes, garlic, and ssamjang (a spicy dipping sauce). 

**Soju is a clear distilled alcoholic beverage that originated in Korea

"Our Dr. Seon*, getting married and not even sending out wedding invitations for a once-in-a-century wedding, huh?"

*collegiate doctor 

"Oh, oppa. We hurriedly arranged the wedding, I'm sorry. The reporters were flocking too."

"Ho-won Group, the mayoral family... Hey, we've known Yoo-jin for so long, and we didn't know about that either."

Yoo-jin had been a prominent chaebol since her teenage years, but she had meticulously concealed her status to the point where not even these five friends knew. Even though they were called studious individuals, it was an impressive feat to completely deceive them, who occasionally watched the news and kept up with homeland updates.

"Yoo-jin... as you know, it's not like things were pleasant between her and her father, so she escaped by going abroad to study. That's the truth. You all know. We lived together."

"That may be true, but..."

"...I know everyone will be surprised, but... even I found out right before my wedding."

They thought of Jae-hee and Yoo-jin, who were the youngest among the study-abroad group. They had gone through hardships together, gathering in the challenging Ivy League environment where finding fellow Koreans was quite difficult. They were not unaware of the heartfelt love story between the two. Hearing that even Jae-hee found out right before the wedding, they gradually eased their sense of betrayal. Sang-woo tried to lighten the mood and said,

"Forget it, guys. There must be reasons."

"Really, I'm truly sorry. I'll make sure Yoo-jin attends the next gathering."

"Oh, right, Ha Yoo-jin! Why didn't she come?"

"You should have brought Yoo-jin unnie too!"

"Hey, now Yoo-jin is someone who can't easily join us. She must be incredibly busy."

"No, it's not like that. She wanted to come along, but I stopped her. Today is the day I treat you all."

"The wife of the owner of Ho-won Department Store is treating samgyeopsal! Shouldn’t you treat us with beef?

Yoo-jin is the CEO, so ask her to buy it, Jeong Tae-hee. I'm just a day-to-day assistant professor."

"What day-to-day? Soo-jin said you're full of energy. She said among the undergraduate students, you're called the farmer. She even mentioned that you sow seeds."

"Kids these days aren't studying much, so that's why. I just give them appropriate grades."

"'Kids these days'? Haah, even the renowned Seon Jae-hee has become a Kkondae* in the end."

*Korean slang term used to describe someone who is considered old-fashioned, rigid, or conservative in their thinking or behavior, particularly towards younger generations. 

While observing Shi-yeon's ostentatious behavior, Jae-hee awkwardly smiled. Tae-ho made a malicious expression and jokingly said.

"Yo-yo, well-behaved kids climb the stove* first. Calling Seon Jae-hee a thief bride**. This bastard is awesome."

*얌전한 애들이 부뚜막 먼저 오르지 (yamjeonhan edeuli buttumak meonjeo oreuji) This is an idiom implying that those who are modest and well-behaved often achieve success or gain recognition.

**도둑장가 (doduk jangga) is a figurative expression used to mock someone who gets ahead or achieves success in a clever or unexpected way, often implying that they don't deserve it or that they took advantage of others.

"Anyway, congratulations on your wedding, Jaehee."

"Congratulations, Seon Jae-hee."

"Thank you, thank you."

Jae-hee smiled awkwardly and thanked them for their wedding congratulations, then accepted a drink.  Since she was with them when she was studying abroad, they know better than anyone how she fell in love with Yoo-jin. The topic of Jae-hee's marriage quickly moved on to another topic, disregarding the word "marriage" that the public paid attention to.

"By the way, Dr. Seon is participating in Professor Han’s project this time?"

"I guess I should. The offer came in first."

The academic conference, which had been fuzzy at the department meeting, proceeded simply, and in the end, Professor Han, who received research funds from the research foundation, proposed a joint research to Jae-hee.  It was not easy for her to accept the proposal from the head of the department, and Jae-hee, who had similar research backgrounds, accepted the offer she could not refuse.

"Professor Han?"

"Yes."

Throughout the gathering, Sang-woo sat quietly, restraining his words, and showed signs of discomfort while continuously drinking in response to Jae-hee's answer. Shortly after, he excused himself, saying he would go smoke a cigarette, and got up from his seat. Tae-ho, who had been observant, followed him. Sensing the uneasy atmosphere, Jae-hee glanced at Tae-hee and Shi-yeon.

"...what's going on?"

"...This time, Dr. Kim was eager and excited to participate in Professor Han's project, but since the professor didn't select him, what else can he do? There's also a difference in research backgrounds, and Dr. Kim is already too busy as a part-time lecturer... Professor Han called him and politely declined, but I guess it hurt his pride."

"Sang-woo oppa's major is not related, so there isn't much he can contribute to this research..."

Jae-hee trailed off at the end of her sentence. Professor Han would have made an effort to respond without breaking his disciple's pride, and her words would have actually hurt Sang-woo instead.

"He must have been ambitious. Professor Han has a good reputation, and everyone knows it... Especially since Dr. Kim is close to Professor Han, didn't participate, it must have been a letdown for him. He pushed himselfvforward. It's because when someone with such a high status is disappointed, the sense of loss is even greater..."

"Especially when you got involved... I heard that even master's students are participating, but it must have hurt his pride."

Jae-hee felt uneasy as she listened to Shi-yeon and Tae-ho's explanations. Even though it wasn't her fault, she couldn't help but be concerned about Sang-woo. He was the one who supported her more than anyone else when she was dating Yoo-jin. She remembered how, when he didn't know Yoo Jin was a chaebol, Sang-woo had freaked out and taken her to a Korean restaurant after seeing her eat the cheapest chicken noodle soup from a street food truck two days in a row. Sang-woo, who was poor and had to pay for school alone, had taken care of the two of them, saying they were his younger siblings. The reason why he was sitting here without saying anything was because he wanted to get an explanation from them directly.

Jae-hee felt a bitter taste in her mouth as she tried to brush off the explanation that didn't sit well with her. She thought of Sang-woo, who would have tried to laugh it off despite feeling hurt. It wasn't just her who had been hurt by Yoo-jin. And the fact that she had become Yoo-jin's spouse meant that she had to share the burden of her mistakes and lies. It felt confusing and complicated. Despite choosing her own path, Jae-hee couldn't express her complex feelings. Seeing Jae-hee's expression stiffening, Shi-yeon quickly changed the topic.

"Ah, right, is Soo-jin also participating?"

"Yes, unnie. Soo-jin is known for working diligently... Professor Han takes good care of the master's students. It seems like she's part of it this time too."

"By the way, I heard that her master's thesis is highly anticipated. They said she has already been through eight revisions. There must be a reason why Professor Han insists on such thorough modifications."

"Yes, unnie. Even though it's just a master's thesis, she seems really intelligent. How does she come up with such research topics?"

"Do you remember? When we were undergraduates, Jung Tae-hee worked on her graduation thesis while complaining endlessly."

"Oh, unnie, please forget about that."

"Unnie, aside from that... Do you remember when Jung Tae-hee said she could get an A if she pulled an all-nighter during her freshman year, and ended up retaking three major courses because she failed?"

"Guaaagh! Let's just drink, drink!"

Tae-hee cried out at the dark history that kept being listed, and Shi-yeon laughed at Tae-hee. Jae-hee, who was laughing together, glanced at Sang-woo and Tae-ho, who were smoking cigarettes with distraught faces through the window of the shop. Without delving deeper into her thoughts, Jae-hee tilted her glass and drank.

"Are you that amazing?! Are you really that amazing... Some people struggle even with an impressive portfolio, while others rely on their connections with influential market leaders... marrying into a chaebol family to get in..."

"..."

"Hey, fuck! Feeling all superior while deceiving me? Where does a low-class bastard like you get the audacity to look down on someone with a silver spoon... Oh? Just the two of you... I wonder how contemptuously you both must have regarded me."

"Hey, Kim Sangwoo, you’re drunk."

"Hey, let go! I'm the one who took care of you while scraping together whatever little money I had. I'm the superior one here. I'm the one who thought you were pitiful, who went through hardships even in a foreign country. Got it?"

"Oppa, you should use an umbrella."

Jae-hee held out an umbrella towards Sang-woo, who was shouting in the pouring rain. However, Sang-woo swatted away the umbrella Jae-hee offered. Both Jae-hee and Sang-woo's clothes quickly became soaked. Jae-hee couldn't hide the bitter feeling as the clothes Yoo-jin had prepared became wet.

The chilly autumn rain was cold, but Jae-hee did not think of picking up an umbrella again. Tae-ho shouted as he hugged Sang-woo from behind, who couldn't control her body and was spouting gibberish in anger.

"Kim Sang-woo! Hey, what's wrong with you on such a beautiful day? Calm down!"

"Oppa, you seem really drunk... You should go inside..."

Tae-hee spoke anxiously to Sang-woo, but he shouted as if he didn't care at all.

"I, with what kind of heart did I bow my head... Seon Jae-hee, you will never understand. How could a privileged woman like you ever know? I crawled up from the bottom, someone like me, but what do you know?"

The falling rain made Sang-woo's appearance even more pitiful. Jae-hee silently listened to his words. It was true that Yoo-jin was wealthy, but nothing had changed about Jae-hee herself. Sang-woo had lost his discernment and spat out his words. She waited until his words were over. Then she picked up her discarded umbrella and shook off the water from the plain black umbrella before handing it to Shi-yeon.

"Unnie, please cover Sang-woo oppa."

As Tae-ho tried to calm down the sobbing Sang-woo, Jae-hee spoke to Shi-yeon and Tae-hee, offering words of comfort by her side.

"It seems like... it wouldn't be right if I stayed any longer. Tae-ho oppa, please take care of Sang-woo oppa. I'll leave first."

"Huh uh, you're leaving? I'm really sorry."

"There's nothing for you to apologize for, oppa. I'll go ahead, I'm sorry, everyone. I'll take care of the bill."

"Ah, no, even then we should split…”

"This is to pay off my debt of not being able to invite you to the wedding. I'll buy beef next time."

Jae-hee entered the store like a rat soaked in the rain, finished her checkout and left the store.  Jae-hee waved her hand at her group and ran back to the car. The driver who was waiting in her car, watching her, started her car as soon as she got in.  Jae-hee's expression darkened as she crossed her legs and looked out of her car window.

'Leave the good mayor's craftsman behind… and the chaebol's wife behind...'

'A guy like me who climbed up from the bottom...’

The good mayor puts his daughter and daughter-in-law's happiness on the back burner, uses them for political gain, and disrespects his daughter-in-law relentlessly. The chaebol's wife claimed that their romance was a charade, a lie, and that it was a contract marriage, which was later discovered… The chaebol's wife revealed that their love affair was a sham, and that it was a contract marriage.

'I'm not as good a wife as oppa thinks.'

Coincidentally, Jae-hee was a person similar to Sang-woo. Therefore, she could somewhat understand his sense of inferiority. Jae-hee recalled the time when she left home after graduating from high school and attended university in Korea. During her study abroad, Sang-woo took care of her, understanding and empathizing with her financial struggles more than anyone else.

She genuinely liked Sang-woo as a friend, knowing that he is also a dragon in a small pond*.The feeling of betrayal must have been profound for someone who had spent nearly a decade together. Though the arrow was aimed at Yoo-jin, who had married Jae-hee, it also struck at Jae-hee herself. She understood Sang-woo's words, despite knowing it stemmed from his own deep-rooted insecurity. As a respected senior, his words deeply wounded Jae-hee's heart.

*개천 용 (gaecheon yong) person who possesses exceptional talent or abilities despite coming from a humble or ordinary background

Although he had ruined the atmosphere with his disruptive behavior, it wasn't just his annoyance that bothered her, but rather the sense of misery and betrayal she felt from him. Alongside her own anger, Jae-hee let out a sigh filled with remorse. The young proxy driver, who had been observing Jae-hee's demeanor, proceeded to pass through the gate of Jae-hee's house, heavily guarded by a security company, and entered the parking lot.

"We're here."

"Thank you."

The young man quickly bowed deeply towards Jae-hee, who had generously provided him with a generous tip. Jae-hee acknowledged his gesture and slowly made her way towards the elevator. She didn't want to go home.

The house was quiet. She still hasn't arrived, huh? Who was it that said not to be out too late? Jae-hee forced a bitter smile and slowly entered the interior. As thunder rumbled with a rumbling sound, she glanced at her phone, but there were no incoming messages or calls. With each step, water dripped off Jae-hee, completely soaked.

"...figure it out on her own."

Since she has a car, well, she would figure it out on her own. Jae-hee let out a bitter smile. If she thought about it, despite it being a gathering that turned into a dispute because of Yoo-jin, she found herself more concerned about Yoo-jin than being angry at her. What a pushover I am. She made her way to the study, haphazardly removing her soaked clothes and heading into the bathroom. Water poured from the showerhead like rain, as if there were holes in the sky.

Jae-hee thought of her wife, the one she had met during her study abroad days, the one she had spent difficult times with and returned to propose to. Her wife, who had whispered love to her, claiming that their love was a lie. Yoo-jin, who used to joke about the myth of Icarus.

‘Sunshine~’

‘What sunshine. Could it be...because I'm Seon?'

Jae-hee, who had been nicknamed Sun throughout her school years because of her last name, gave Yoo-jin a bewildered look. Yoo-jin responded with a playful smile.

'Oh my, I've been caught.'

"You're killing my senses, really."

Jae-hee couldn't contain her laughter as she spread her arms towards Yoo-jin, who had a despairing expression on her face. Brightly smiling, she said,

'Fine, come to the sunshine. Come this way."'

'I'm going to fly. Will you catch me?'

'Is that you, Icarus?'

Recalling the story of Icarus, who flew too close to the sun and fell, Jae-hee playfully remarked, and Yoo-jin playfully countered by embracing Jae-hee in her arms.

'Even if I have to burn, I want to be by your side.'

Jae-hee, who had playfully teased Yoo-jin by tickling her hair, now curled up her body, and Yoo-jin, who used to shower kisses on Jae-hee's cheek, was no longer there. That small and precious presence that filled her being was now gone.

As water poured down on her, Jae-hee thought of Icarus from the Greek mythology, who flew close to the sun, melting his wings of wax, and plummeted into the sea. What had plummeted was me, not into the sea but into the never-ending abyss of constraints. I was not the sun. The sun, my sunshine, belonged solely to me.

Jae-hee dried her hair with a towel and emerged from the bathroom. Despite the dimly lit room, she didn't turn on the lights and instead sat down on a chair. Rumble, bang. Amidst the fierce lightning and thunder that shook the sky, Jae-hee thought of Zeus. Perhaps it was because she had been thinking of Icarus. Was being a wanderer bad? Was being a trickster bad? Lost in pointless thoughts, Jae-hee found herself thinking of Yoo-jin. Should she reach out and contact her? Secretary Choi was there, so there shouldn't be any major issues... With the clue of "even so" Jae-hee couldn't stop worrying.

With eyes accustomed to the long darkness, Jae-hee glanced around and casually hung the towel on the chair before sitting on the bed. Though her slightly damp hair bothered her a little, she was too tired from drinking to pay much attention to it. Jae-hee lay down on the bed but suddenly sat up straight.

"…?"

"...sorry."

"...you."

"..."

Suddenly, the image of Yoo-jin, who used to be afraid of thunder, came to Jae-hee's mind. When did she enter the room? Since when were they together? Jae-hee tried to calm her startled heart. Yoo-jin grasped her left arm and sat up, revealing her bare skin through the opening of her evening gown. Jae-hee turned off the air conditioner that she had set due to her tendency to feel hot. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she offered her back to Yoo-jin.

"You smell like alcohol."

"It's okay."

"They wanted to see you, everyone did."

They were people Yoo-jin also knew well, as they had experienced highs and lows together in the United States. After rolling her eyes for a moment, Yoo-jin leaned against Jae-hee's back. Feeling the warmth from her back, Jae-hee was immersed in old memories that she had deemed unnecessary to remember.

"...you're still afraid, huh?"

"...well, that wasn't a lie."

During a hurricane that caused a campus-wide closure, Jae-hee called Yoo-jin out of concern from the blackout in the dormitory, but Yoo-jin didn't answer. Jae-hee was someone who took action rather than just thinking, so she left her room and went to Yoo-jin's room, knocking on the door. Yoo-jin opened the door with a pale expression and Jae-hee embraced and reassured her.

Yoo-jin was afraid of thunder and lightning. She recalled how, during her mother's funeral, it rained so heavily that thunder struck violently. Yoo-jin reached out her hand to her father by her side, but he walked away with a photograph of the deceased without ever looking back at her. As a young child, Yoo-jin had no one to rely on. It was later revealed that Jae-joon had tried to comfort her among the adults, but it was clear that the incident had become a trauma for young Yoo-jin.

"Childish, right?"

"Not at all."

Every time you do this, your words that said our love was a lie seem like lies.  Your habits make the memories of you and me linger. The memories of you still seem to say that you and I are in love. Jae-hee swallowed the words that rose up in her throat with great effort.

If it's okay to have illusions, then I can do a little more. Because I am someone you need, I can act the way I used to in order to console you. Jae-hee comforted herself and reached out her hand, overlapping it with Yoo-jin's hand. As the thunder rumbled, Yoo-jin's hand trembled slightly. Yoo-jin recalled the day when her mother's funeral took place, accompanied by heavy rain and thunder. It was the only vivid memory from her childhood. The image of her father, who didn't shed a single tear despite her mother's death, was frightening.

Yoo-jin was led by her father's hand, who didn't explain where her mother had gone, and attended the funeral. Throughout the funeral, heavy rain poured down incessantly. On the last day, amidst a storm with thunder and lightning, Yoo-jin wore a hairpin with a delicate white ribbon resembling a butterfly and silently followed her father from behind. As the thunder rumbled, she reached out her hand to her father, hoping for comfort, but he didn't look back at her.

'Dad…’

'...'

'Dad…'

The cold gaze lingered briefly on Yoo-jin before departing. The downpour rendered umbrellas useless. Amidst the raindrops scattering in all directions, there were whispers of pity mixed with criticism, the sole kin's indifference, and thunderous sounds that felt like the sky was collapsing.

'Who would have expected Sook-hee to die like that.'

'It's all because of having a child. It only devours a weak body that was already fragile.'

'Her husband, not shedding a single tear. He's a heartless human being, I tell you.'

'Do you think being a politician is just for show?'

'She lost her precious life for nothing. Just because she had the foolish idea of having a child... Tsk.'

The words that had pierced young Yoo-jin like thorns floated around her. The image of the relatives murmuring in such a manner would remain unforgettable until her death. Carelessly gossiping as if it were someone else's business, their voices swirled around without knowing who they were reaching, taunting like vultures. Their words were soon drowned out by the downpour and thunder.

Yoo-jin recalled a memory from a little earlier. The memory of the day when she had nestled in her mother's arms, falling into a peaceful sleep.

'Baby, Mommy is sorry.'

Even though they had fallen asleep together, Yoo-jin, who couldn't hear that voice, dreamed of holding hands with her recovered mother and stoic father, going to the amusement park. And then, and then...

'Hnng... Daddy, where did Mommy go?'

When she opened her eyes again, on the bed where her mother had been lying, Yoo-jin saw Cheon-woo sitting with his back turned, not uttering a word. She clung to him, desperately seeking his attention, but Cheon-woo didn't even flinch.

'Daddy, where did Mommy go?'

Though she was very young, Yoo-jin, consumed by an odd sense of unease, shook Cheon-woo and clung to him. Young Yoo-jin, who longed to see her mother, kept repeating the parrot-like question of where her mother was, while Cheon-woo lowered his head as if he couldn't hear her. The cold words that drifted in from outside the door.

'Aigo*, what should we do with that young one...?'

*아이고 (aigo)/or 아이구 (aigoo) is an exclamation in Korean that is used to express a variety of emotions such as surprise, admiration, sympathy, or exasperation. It is similar to expressions like "Oh my!" or "Oh dear!" in English. The exact meaning and tone can vary depending on the context and the way it is spoken.

'Only Yoo-jin has become so pitiful.'

At a very young age, Yoo-jin instinctively realized the implications of their distress. Ah, her mother had gone to a place where they could never see her again. The fact that the dream she had was nothing more than a mere dream. Yoo-jin experienced her first encounter with death in the cruelest manner possible. Perhaps that's why Yoo-jin became afraid of sleeping. Sleep took away the most precious thing from her.

Therefore, during her childhood, there were many days when she couldn't fall asleep and struggled relentlessly. Yoo-jin's agitation prompted intensive treatment from the family's main doctor, but there was no improvement, and eventually, she suffered from insomnia. In the case of the Ho-won Group, Yoo-jin's uncle and Sook-hee's older brother, Woo-hyung, invited renowned psychiatrists and attached child psychology experts for the sole purpose of helping his only niece, but the symptoms did not improve. As a result, Yoo-jin started relying on sleep-inducing medication during her teenage years. However, it was Jae-hee who eventually convinced her to quit the medication, even though she couldn't break free from it until their time studying abroad.

Jae-hee, who shared the nights with Yoo-jin, showed her that sleep was not something to be feared. Even when Yoo-jin cried or disturbed their sleep by waking up, Jae-hee never showed any annoyance. Jae-hee comforted and put Yoo-jin to sleep like an adult caring for a child. Yoo-jin overcame her severe insomnia after meeting Jae-hee.

At that time, Jae-hee, who had the image of Yoo-jin suffering deeply engraved in her mind, took meticulous care of her even in the smallest gestures, like saying goodnight. No matter how much she resented her, she was willing to do anything if it meant that the woman she loved could have a peaceful night. It was something she could do because she was determined. 

"Yoo-jin, rest. Shh. It's okay. I'm here by your side."

"...you won't leave me, right? You won't leave me behind...?"

"...I'll always be by your side. Jin-ah, let's go to sleep."

"Jae-hee..."

Thunder was a trigger that stimulated Yoo-jin's wounds, her most painful memories. Jae-hee knew that fact, and it saddened her because she knew it was one thing that was not false. She couldn't distinguish between what was real and what was false anymore. What was true and what was false no longer mattered.

Jae-hee felt a strange mix of reliance on herself due to Yoo-jin relying on her in this situation. She resented her own slightly excited feelings. She suddenly questioned whether the emotion she held for Yoo-jin was truly "love." If it was love, she should wish for her not to suffer, but Jae-hee wanted Yoo-jin to keep hurting. That way, she would continue to rely on her. That way, she would continue to be needed.

Boom! lightning struck accompanied by thunder that made the sky feel like it was collapsing. Jae-hee instinctively stood up, and Yoo-jin reached out, grabbing Jae-hee's wrist. She urgently spoke to Jae-hee.

"Where are you going...?"

Her trembling voice felt heartbreaking. Jae-hee extended her hand and gently stroked Yoo-jin's head, as if tidying it up. Her warm hand was soothing as it caressed Yoo-jin's hair.

"Nowhere. Just for a moment."

Yoo-jin let go of Jae-hee's hand. Jae-hee went to the corner of the study where the audio player was located. She played her favorite piano piece, softly and peacefully. It filled the air without being too loud. Yoo-jin found comfort in the familiar melody, and her breathing gradually eased. The music softly spread throughout the room. Jae-hee returned to Yoo-jin's side, offering her presence once again. Yoo-jin leaned against Jae-hee's back, her hand gently smoothing Jae-hee's slightly damp hair.

"...was it fun?"

"...It's been a long time since we've all seen each other. It was nice."

"...as long as you enjoyed it."

"Yoo-jin-ah."

"..."

"... nevermind.

The name I used to call out until my lips wore out during our dating days, why does it feel so unfamiliar now? Have I become immersed in old emotions? Did I love, no, was I loved? What are my feelings now? What am I, who still loves you despite you calling our past love a lie? Jae-hee wrapped her hands around her waist. The sound of thunder was drowned out by the piano.

"...I'm sorry."

"..."

"...sorry for using you, only using you."

"..."

"...I can't be without you."

I'm the one who's drunk, so why are you the one causing the disturbance? Speaking so honestly without filter is something only you do when you're drunk. Jae-hee slowly turned her body. She pressed her forehead against Yoo-jin's lowered forehead. Feeling the rough breath due to tears, Jae-hee held Yoo-jin's hand.

"Have sweet dreams."

Jae-hee slowly lay down, embracing Yoo-jin who followed suit and nestled in her arms. The sound of rain could be heard. Yoo-jin whimpered silently. Jae-hee gently patted her trembling back.

Autumn rain was cruel, Yoo-jin was fragile, and Jae-hee had to be strong. Jae-hee, who thought it would pass by like a passing shower, didn't leave. Despite putting up a futile front, she stayed by Yoo-jin's side and comforted her. Yoo-jin, who was grateful couldn't understand Jae-hee's sincerity, but she simply hoped that Jae-hee's heart would never change.