"She has a bad cold. Due to exhaustion and overlapping conditions, her condition worsened, and she passed out. I think she just needs some rest. I'll leave the medicine, so please take care of her in time."

"Thank you."

"You can rest now too, Miss"

The attending physician looked at Yoo-jin with a concerned gaze and added. Yoo-jin nodded quietly. The doctor, who had been an attending physician at Howon Group for a long time, knew well about Yoo-jin's anxiety disorder. He had prescribed her tranquilizers and sleep inducers before.

The term 'anxiety' was often associated with people in high positions. Dealing with overwhelming responsibilities and managing massive businesses exposed them frequently to the media, leading to public criticism and harsh judgments. Naturally, without proper medication, they could easily develop severe anxiety to the point of being unable to sleep. The attending physician often witnessed such mechanisms. Yoo-jin, who had been in the spotlight since birth, was even more susceptible to severe anxiety.

However, surprisingly, in recent years, he couldn't observe any symptoms of anxiety in her. The reason was none other than Yoo-jin's remarkable ability to conceal those symptoms thoroughly, even to the extent that the attending physician, despite being a professional, couldn't perceive it. It wasn't always like this for Yoo-jin. During her childhood, her symptoms were severe enough to be noticeable to non-medical professionals, indicating intense anxiety.

But at some point, and the attending physician couldn't remember the exact moment, from that 'moment' onwards, even to him, Yoo-jin began hiding her true self. Perhaps it started during her adolescence. Initially, it was considered a temporary 'repression' due to puberty, but the behavior continued until now as if she was pathologically concealing her true self as if revealing it to someone was not allowed.

However, even someone who went to such lengths to hide her true self and maintained a defensive posture towards others, like a cold 'young lady', now greeted him, tearful and trembling, as if she would collapse unless supported. This 'young lady', who seemed on the verge of collapsing if not for his support, weakly guided him to the 'host' room. Her desperate voice explained the host's symptoms in a manner that was distressing to witness. Throughout the examination, Yoo-jin's gaze was fixed on the 'host'. It was truly an astonishing sight.

After the first article about same-sex marriage was published, he had initially thought that the 'young lady' couldn't possibly be involved. However, today, he corrected his thoughts. Perhaps the 'young lady' had truly found a wonderful partner to spend her life with. Otherwise, her peculiar behavior couldn't be explained.

With a deep bow to Yoo-jin, he left her house. Yoo-jin cautiously opened the door to her bedroom, which was the couple's bedroom but only used by Yoo-jin. Jae-hee was lying there. Yoo-jin sat down by her side. Although her fever seemed to have subsided a bit, she still looked worse than earlier. The fever had gone down after the injection, but the worried expression on her face was heartbreaking.

Yoo-jin gazed at Jae-hee's face, a rare instance for her, as she hesitated to judge others' appearances. At first sight, Jae-hee was so beautiful that Yoo-jin couldn't help but fall for her. She gently placed her hand on Jae-hee's almost translucent cheeks. Her cheeks felt warm due to the fever.

Jae-joon immediately contacted the family physician after hearing Yoo-jin's rambling. Thanks to Jae-joon's calm reassurance, Yoo-jin was able to compose herself, and she moved the fallen Jae-hee to her room.

Jae-hee was heavier than expected. Despite her slender figure, Jae-hee's body, maintained by regular exercise, was tough for Yoo-jin, who had no muscle mass. Moreover, she was one inch taller than Yoo-jin, making it even more challenging to support her. Yoo-jin was surprised by how effortlessly Jae-hee had carried her on her back back then. While wiping the sweat off Jae-hee's cheek as she slept, Yoo-jin remembered their previous conversation.

'I spent a whole week in a hotel room with a girl who is prettier and more charming than you.'

'Her moans were incredible. She kept calling my name as if she couldn't get enough.'

'At least... she seemed more sincere than anyone else…so you should be able to tolerate this.'

I never thought that of all people Seon Jae-hee would say that she slept with someone other than me. When she told Jae-hee that she could have a lover, she said it because she knew that if it were Seon Jaehee, she wouldn't do it. She could still see Seon Jae-hee smeared with the scent of another woman and provoking her outrageously. The intimidating voice of her deadly face still rang in her ears.

'It seems I'm not the only one who is still in love.'

'Otherwise, this obsession doesn't make sense.'

'There's no reason to be shaken by my words.'

She felt ashamed as if she had exposed her bare body to the naked eye. Every single word made Yoo-jin's head complicated and her chest torn apart. Seon Jae-hee touched Yoo-jin's insides with just a few words. And the most shocking of all, the driving question.

'…Yoo-jin, do you love me?'

It was a question so dizzying that it took her breath away. What the heck happened over a week? How could that person who was friendly until a few days ago...turn so cold?

Yoo-jin remembered Jae-hee, who pressured her with a gentle voice. She used to think that Jae-hee looked best when laughing foolishly, but ironically, Jae-hee turned out to be more suited for the 'dominant' role. Even Jae-hee's touch, which felt like it could consume her, kept her trapped, making it impossible to escape.

There were so many things Yoo-jin wanted to ask and clarify, but she decided not to disturb the hurt Jae-hee. She brushed off Jae-hee's hair and tidied things up. Jae-hee's scent lingered on her fingertips. Because she liked it, Yoo-jin gently passed her hand over Jae-hee's hair. First, healing was the priority. She cautiously left the room so that Jae-hee could rest comfortably. As Yoo-jin entered the study to tidy up the place where Jae-hee had fallen, she looked at the bag Jae-hee had placed on the desk.

Even though suspicion and obsession between spouses were forbidden, Yoo-jin still slowly took her steps.

'Is it the Pandora's box?'

Yoo-jin wiped off Jae-hee's bag. If anyone saw her, they might think she had OCD... But her priority was to relieve her immediate anxiety. Her heart pounded. Various signs of infidelity swirled in her mind. What if a condom came out? What if there were other women's underwear... What should I do? Yoo-jin closed her eyes and opened Jae-hee's bag with all her strength.

Cautiously lowering her head, Yoo-jin shifted her gaze into the bag. The brown envelope was inside, unsealed, along with neatly arranged piles of papers. Yoo-jin took them out.

"Ah..."

The piles of paper were research papers related to the subject Jae-hee was studying. When she opened the brown envelope, exam papers with scores marked in red pen came out. It's the exam period. So... that's why she came home late. Looking at the answer sheets carefully checked by Jae-hee, Yoo-jin realized why there were no replies to her messages.

Even when Jae-hee was a teacher in the United States for about a year, she meticulously graded papers, just as she does now. When she was engrossed in her work, Jae-hee probably didn't even look at her phone except when saying goodnight. Yoo-jin recalled the messages Jae-hee had sent over the past week.

[The weather has big temperature fluctuations. Be careful of catching a cold. Sleep well.]

[Don't forget to take care of your meals. Have sweet dreams.]

[Don't drink too much coffee. Caffeine is not good for your body. Have a good night.]

[Are you taking your supplements? Take them before going to bed and after waking up. Have a restful night.]

[If you can't sleep, there's chamomile tea in the cupboard. Brew and drink it, you like it. Sleep well.]

[It will be windy tomorrow. Dress warmly. Cover yourself with a blanket when sleeping. I wish you sweet dreams.]

[There's a book in my room titled 'Changes in the Korean Education Curriculum.' If you can't sleep, read it once. It will help you fall asleep quickly. Have good dreams.]

The text messages contained Jae-hee's affectionate and caring nature. Each message was filled with worries and concerns for Yoo-jin. In response to every message, Yoo-jin acted accordingly. On days with significant temperature fluctuations, she wore thick clothes. She even skipped meals and, while working, sometimes asked Secretary Choi to order lunchboxes for her. On days when Jae-hee told her not to drink coffee, she drank green tea instead. When reminded to take her supplements, she made sure to take the ones she had forgotten. Yoo-jin found her favorite brand of chamomile tea from her study abroad days in the cupboard and drank it before going into deep sleep. While reading the thick book titled 'Changes in the Korean Education Curriculum,' she fell asleep after just three pages.

Jae-hee was someone who knew so well what Yoo-jin needed, and she conveyed it in her own gentle way. As a result, Yoo-jin could sleep throughout the entire week without needing any 'medicine', thanks to Jae-hee. Even though Yoo-jin couldn't bring herself to express her gratitude to Jae-hee, who casually but affectionately exchanged nighttime greetings, how hurt must Jae-hee have felt? Jae-hee expressed her feelings by not sulking and not responding at all.

"...I'm a trash."

Yoo-jin, who had an overly imaginative imagination, seemed relieved to see her, then relaxed, and sat back on Jae-hee's chair on the side. Only the ticking of the clock rang silently. Jae-hee, who likes analog things, puts an analog wall clock instead of an electronic clock in her room. This was the only room in Yoo-jin's custom-decorated newlyweds' home that has Jae-hee's color buried here.

Yoo-jin looked around the desk and spotted a fountain pen hanging on a dedicated stand, ready for use at any time. It was the one she had given at Jae-hee's doctoral degree awarding ceremony. It was a present prepared for Jae-hee, who loved studying and made the pursuit of truth her life's goal. The fountain pen, engraved with Jae-hee's name, had traces of handprints on it.

"...you still have it."

Yoo-jin looked at it blankly. She had used it diligently. Jae-hee treasured everything she gave, or rather, she treasured her, which is why he cherished everything about Yoo-jin.

'It's all because of me that our relationship collapsed.'

Yoo-jin ran her hand through her hair and leaned back in her chair. After that day, Jae-hee, who had been persistently trying to annoy and hurt her, embraced her as if it were the most natural thing when the rainy day came. She knew she was someone who would do that, which was why she chose her... but thinking back, it was something she shouldn't have done to Jae-hee, and Yoo-jin let out a sigh of regret.

Moreover, the way she looked just now. Even though she couldn't decipher the exact meaning, Yoo-jin realized that Jae-hee deliberately said those words to provoke her. While she would need more information to understand her intent, she entertained the futile thought that if her goal was to provoke her, she had succeeded remarkably. How she had managed to turn someone so innocent and affectionate, oblivious to the ways of the world, into this. A sadness washed over her.

'How hurt your heart must be... to treat me with a mask that doesn't suit you.'

If I'm going to be mean, I have to be mean until the end. It's what I've always done, and it's what I've always been good at, but why does it become so difficult when I'm in front of Seon Jae-hee? She's someone I'm not going to have in my life anyway. She's someone I shouldn't have. What's wrong with me, why do I keep...keep having regrets? The thought of endlessly obsessing over it tormented Yoo-jin.

"...hoo."

Yoo-jin put down the fountain pen and stood up from the chair. She left the room filled with Jae-hee's scent and headed to the kitchen. If she was going to give her medicine, she might as well prepare something like porridge. Yoo-jin began to cook Jae-hee's favorite porridge. She couldn't fathom why, but Jae-hee loved plain white rice porridge without any additional ingredients. As she rinsed the rice, Yoo-jin got lost in old memories. Walking together at night, Jae-hee had taken off her cardigan to keep Yoo-jin warm and flashed a reassuring smile. The next day, she ended up with a severe cold.

'Seon Jae-hee's body is like the sun, so it's okay because I have a lot of warmth.'

'...'

'Yes, it is like the sun. Feel. the. fever.'

'...this is a fever of love... a longing sickness that arose because my love... doesn't look at me....'

'When did I stop looking at you?'

'When you're sleeping?'

Watching Jae-hee spout nonsense without saying a word, Yoo-jin asked what she wanted to eat, thinking that it truly must hurt. Despite her tight financial situation, she was willing to dip into her emergency fund, which Jae-joon had given her, for the sake of the suffering Jae-hee. She had brushed off Yoo-jin's question, telling her not to worry and that porridge would do. At first, Yoo-jin thought she was being considerate of her financial situation, but when she insisted she gave her a serious answer and she nonchalantly replied that it could be plain white rice porridge, Yoo-jin rinsed the rice and started cooking. Yoo-jin couldn't even believe it when she brought the porridge to Jae-hee with a bowl, full of disbelief at that very moment. This is what you wanted to eat?

'Do you like this the most?'

'Yeah, It's gotta be rice porridge when you're sick.'

As she said so, she scooped a large spoonful and ate it with relish, her appearance was incredibly adorable. Occasionally, Yoo-jin would finely tear up some kimchi and place it on Jae-hee's spoon, and she would happily take it in one bite with a satisfied expression. Yoo-jin said with a teasing look on her face.

'...I told you it's okay even if it's expensive.'

'I can't taste anything anyway because I'm sick.'

'So my porridge doesn't have a taste?'

'How can that be? The rice porridge you made is as delicious as the death row inmate's last meal on Earth'

'...I don't know if it's a compliment or not "

'It's a compliment!'

Jae-hee made snorting noises and gave her thumbs up for the best porridge she'd ever made. Her words were as refreshing as a mountain spring, really.

With a faint smile, Yoo-jin stirred the porridge with a wooden spoon for a while. When the phone rang, fearing that Jae-hee might wake up, she lowered the flame and hurriedly went to get Jae-hee's mobile phone. She lowered the ringtone volume of the phone on the side table and checked the caller ID, her face stiffening.

[Soo-jin]

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