****
“…Ha.”
Cheon-woo let out a sigh and picked up the letter. He had heard that a visa was issued, but he thought Yoo-jin would take a short trip with Soo-hyun or Jae-joon. Who would’ve thought she would just leave a letter telling she would study abroad. The rushed handwriting held no emotion at all. After reading the notice-like letter, no different from a utility bill, Cheon-woo muttered in self-mockery.
“Does she resemble me, or that person?”
Just like the night Cheon-woo and Sook-hee eloped, Yoo-jin left to study abroad without anyone knowing. He could have asked around through the embassy, but Cheon-woo gave up. He understood Yoo-jin’s wish to get that far away from his arms. He found himself disgusting, so how would his child feel seeing that? Cheon-woo called Jae-joon.
“Go and meet Yoo-jin. I’ll provide support.”
“Shouldn’t you be the one to go find her?”
His tone carried a tinge of irritation. It sounded more like his grandfather than his father Woo-hyung. Jae-joon couldn't accept why Cheon-woo didn't go himself and instead called a cousin.
“She wouldn’t like that.”
“…”
“If I go myself, to a child who ran away because she hates me.”
“You’re always irresponsible, Uncle.”
“Irresponsible?”
“Yes, irresponsible. You’re someone who makes your daughter’s life miserable just because your own life is miserable.”
“…”
“She’s only twenty-four. She just graduated college. And she ran away from home. Don’t you see how serious this is? She ran from the place that should feel safest. And the parent won’t even go look for her!”
Cheon-woo watched Jae-joon’s twisted face calmly, just like the days he listened to his father-in-law without emotion.
“Just because your life was unhappy, does Yoo-jin’s life also have to be unhappy. After Aunt passed away, as hard as it was for you, it was just as hard for Yoo-jin. If you’re an adult, if you’re a parent, shouldn’t you think of your child first?”
“You’re arrogant.”
“…What?”
“Don’t judge so carelessly.”
“…”
Cheon-woo stood up. Even though it was his own house, he stood on the stairs like a guest.
“Get rid of useless competitiveness. The higher you go, the more you should reduce anger.”
Jae-joon glared at Cheon-woo’s back.
“Damn it.”
He cursed, grabbed his jacket, and left the mansion.
****
The advantage of a private university in the US was scholarships and dorm support, but part-time work was a must to survive. Unlike Korea, where anything became headlines, it was nice that no one recognized her, but that also meant suffering like a dog.
From the moment she stepped into the airport, Yoo-jin felt vague fear. She had visited the US many times, but living here was different. She unpacked in the dorm, but everything felt unfamiliar. Classes, part-time work, even culture.
For Yoo-jin, who lived a trapped life, all of this was strange. She had taken one-on-one classes with foreigners before, but graduate classes demanded a different level of knowledge and endurance. After just one week, Yoo-jin desperately wanted to go back.
“…I want to go home.”
She said it without thinking and slapped her own mouth. Rather than going back to that horrible place, she told herself this was heaven. Instead of thinking of Cheon-woo, who she should miss the most, she hardened her resolve not to return. Never going back to Korea.
If she ever returned, it would be after she could stand on her own and be independent. She could inherit her mother’s legacy and enter management, but she wanted to touch it only after she truly earned the right.
Working day after day, Yoo-jin’s dark circles deepened. She left Korea boldly, saying life was solo play, but getting tired was unavoidable. Facing racists, drug addicts, and rude people, she learned how harsh and awful the world was.
She knew she was treated well because of wealth and her father’s shadow, but now with only the name Ha Yoo-jin left, it shocked her how small she could be. She clenched her teeth. You think I’ll lose here. I survived that house with sheer grit. You think I’ll fall here.
Her twisted personality shone in crisis. On the eighth day in the US, she went to the library to catch her breath and headed to the humanities section. She stopped at a faded book with a peeling gold title in large capital letters. Fine, it's you then. She reached for it, but it was very high.
Shit. It’s really high. Where’s the ladder?
She stretched but couldn’t reach. Squinting in the bright sunlight, someone approached and pulled out the book for her.
“…You were looking for this, right?”
“…Ah, thank you.”
She swallowed English and answered in Korean. A Korean. Very pretty. That soft voice was gentle.
“When will you return it?”
“…Huh?”
“…I want to see* too.”
*the phrase used was ë³´ê³ ì‹¶ì–´ì„œìš” (bogo sip-eoseoyo) in Korean means ‘want to see’ (the subject is dropped so the meaning could be misinterpreted as wanting to see her, instead of the book). ë³´ê³ ì‹¶ì–´ì„œìš” can also mean ‘to miss someone’
The word ‘see’ sounded strange. She said she wanted to see it, not read it. The woman smiled slightly, pulled out a notebook, scribbled something, and handed it over. It was a phone number.
“After you finish, will you contact me?”
“…Okay.”
Yoo-jin escaped like she was running away. Trustworthy face, crazy looks. She peeked at the note. Neat handwriting despite being rushed. Her personality must be good too.
After work, lying on the small dorm bed, Yoo-jin stared at the crumpled note in her hand. A ten-digit number, unlike Korea. She had looked at it so many times she nearly memorized it. Thinking again, that person seemed interested in her.
“…Can a woman love another woman?”
Yoo-jin once dreamed of fiery love. She read romance novels and talked about dramas with Soo-hyun. It was a tiny interest she later dropped. The love she knew was only between men and women. She thought of her father’s party that treated homosexuality as a disease.
“…”
If I become gay, would that be a blow to him? Thinking useless thoughts, she sat at the desk. She kept thinking of that woman’s face. She read the name under the number.
“…Seon Jae-hee.”
Three Korean characters, not English. Neat handwriting. Was she a Korean exchange student? Undergraduate or graduate student? Curiosity grew. The Greek and Roman biography in front of her had long lost her interest.
“She really was… very pretty.”
She thought of the many men who approached her. Leaving aside money and status, Yoo-jin herself was attractive. But their faces were blurry. They never gave her strong feelings. Handsome, pretty, cute, beautiful. Simple words could describe that woman. Seon Jae-hee.
“…”
Even the way she gave her number showed care. Bold interest, beautiful looks, and natural kindness.
“…”
Yoo-jin glanced at her phone. She came all the way to America for freedom. The freedom to enjoy life. Couldn’t she have at least that? She held her phone tightly over the unread book and began typing a message.
****
Sipping the cheapest Americano at the campus cafe, Yoo-jin waited for Jae-hee. It tasted amazing. Better than the Americano made by the barista at Howon Hotel. Watching a brown-haired Hispanic student, Yoo-jin briefly thought about telling Jae-joon to scout her. Then she saw a woman in a sweatshirt with the school logo walking over.
“Her face is fashion.”
Her clothes were bad, but her face was fashionable. Seeing Jae-hee smiling brightly and waving, Yoo-jin waved back without realizing it.
“Thank you for contacting me.”
“No, it’s nothing.”
“Still, as thanks, I wanted to buy you coffee… but you’re already drinking.”
Watching her roll her eyes in thought, Yoo-jin smiled. She’s cute even when flustered.
“Want to have lunch with me? I’ll pay.”
“I have work.”
“…Oh.”
The sigh of disappointment felt real. Out of all the people who approached her, this woman who gave her number and left felt different. She seemed to know nothing about Yoo-jin. Not pity, not shallow interest. Just pure curiosity.
“I finish work at eight.”
“What?”
“Want to grab a drink together?”
“…Yes!”
Jae-hee answered brightly after staring at Yoo-jin with a dazed face.
….
Seeing Jae-hee walk into the bar near the university like she was used to it, Yoo-jin was a little surprised. She looks like she cannot drink at all. Like a regular, Jae-hee greeted the blonde bartender naturally.
“Would you like a cocktail?”
“…I will have a Florida.” [Florida: a cocktail with orange juice, lemon juice, and about ten drops of Angostura bitters. It is close to non-alcoholic.
Jae-hee smiled and nodded. Then she ordered her own drink like she was used to it. The bartender took out a bottle from behind the counter that was about half empty and started making an on the rocks drink. What, she has a bottle kept just for her? Not even a cocktail. Golden whiskey came out on the rocks.
“…You must drink well.”
“Not really well. I think I just enjoy it.”
They sat down in a quiet spot, and Jae-hee looked at Yoo-jin and smiled softly with her eyes. Even though Yoo-jin was the one who suggested drinking first, she looked nervous. It seemed like this was her first time. Seeing Yoo-jin order a near non-alcoholic cocktail, Jae-hee only smiled.
After some short talk, Yoo-jin learned an unexpected fact about Jae-hee.
“…You are American, but you graduated from S University? Why?”
“There are many reasons, but I wanted to live in Korea.”
It was hard to believe. Someone smart enough to enter S University easily, and then go on to an Ivy League graduate school, chose S University on purpose. They were under the same city sky until one year ago.
“Because you are Korean?”
“My nationality is American, but I still have Korean blood. I was just curious. What Korea is like. So I went to the most famous university there.”
“…That's interesting.”
“Interesting?”
Jae-hee took a sip of her drink and smiled gently. Looking closely, she really smiles beautifully. Or maybe she just looks pretty, so her smile is pretty too. The hand casually shaking the glass of golden liquid looked quite large.
“…So how was your four years living in Korea?”
“Can I be honest?”
“Of course.”
“It was fucking hard.”
With such an innocent face that looked like she would never swear, she dropped a curse. Yoo-jin burst out laughing. Jae-hee found Yoo-jin cute as she blinked and laughed brightly.
“What was hard?”
“Tuition and dorm fees were covered by scholarships and international student support, but living expenses were the problem. Loans were hard to get, so I worked part-time like crazy. Academy jobs, tutoring, serving. I did everything. I'm Korean, but English was more natural to me, and my Korean was awkward, so people looked at me strangely. Cultural differences were big too.”
What Jae-hee described was exactly what Yoo-jin was going through now. That made it easier to relate. She looks like someone who never suffered, though. Yoo-jin chimed in and talked about her own struggles. Jae-hee listened and agreed with small responses.
“…So even though it had not been long since I came, I thought about going home. No, going back to Korea.”
“I thought that so many times too. When I first came, all that ambition and will disappeared, and I just wanted to go back. That vague feeling.”
“Jae-hee, then how did you get through it?”
“…Hmm.”
She put the glass down and rested her chin slowly. Then she smiled, folding her pretty eyes.
“Friends.”
“…Friends?”
“The four who came with me all the way to grad school, and one friend who stayed in Korea. Five in total. Because of them, I think I can stay here.”
“…Your college classmates?”
“Yes. Different ages and totally different backgrounds. But they are really… people I'm grateful for. They stay by my side when it is hard, and double my happiness when things are good. Sometimes they act silly, and sometimes childish, but to me, they are like family. Because of them, I could overcome difficulties and adapt.”
“…I'm jealous.”
“Jealous?”
“Ah… well.”
Yoo-jin was not completely without friends. But only her cousin Kim Jae-joon, and Soo-hyun, whom she had known since childhood. That was the problem. Watching Yoo-jin hesitate, Jae-hee spoke.
“Do you want to meet them?”
“…What?”
“They will like you.”
“…No, it’s fine. Why would I...”
“They are the type who only study, so they might not be fun. But if you feel like it, tell me.”
“Yes.”
She was a really strange person. Yoo-jin hated having her life talked about carelessly, so she was the type to hold back. But somehow, with Jae-hee, she was talking freely. It was hard to blame it on alcohol alone. Seon Jae-hee’s presence was too strong. Feeling too good and talking excitedly, Yoo-jin picked up Jae-hee’s glass with the golden liquid and drank it in one go. Jae-hee looked at her in shock. That was as far as Yoo-jin’s consciousness went. Like a blown fuse, everything went dark.
Jae-hee shook Yoo-jin to wake her, but the passed out Yoo-jin didn't move. Seeing her completely still, Jae-hee panicked. She guessed Yoo-jin couldn't drink from the start, but she never expected her to mistake the whiskey for the Florida and drink it all at once. Jae-hee carefully placed a finger under Yoo-jin’s nose to check her breathing. She felt shallow breaths. Thank goodness. She was just drunk and out.
After paying, Jae-hee packed Yoo-jin’s things and her own carefully, then struggled to carry Yoo-jin on her back. Jae-hee trained her stamina with morning jogging, but a limp person was very heavy. Still, she didn't show it. Leaving the bar, she sighed while looking at the campus, and walked quietly toward the school.
“…Hic, huu.”
Because Yoo-jin suddenly started crying, Jae-hee stopped. She adjusted Yoo-jin on her back and soothed her like a baby.
“Hey, Yoo-jin. Why are you crying? Come on, stop.”
“Hic, huu…I miss my mom…hic!”
“…You miss your mom. Me too.”
“I feel so lonely I could go crazy. Why am I always alone? …hic.”
“It is very lonely being alone.”
“Hic, huu…I want to go to Korea…”
Seeing Yoo-jin mumble and look for her mom made Jae-hee’s heart ache. She remembered the home she ran away from. I miss my mom too, Yoo-jin. Jae-hee murmured while calming her. After a while, when they reached the campus entrance, Yoo-jin suddenly spoke seriously.
“…Hey.”
“…Yes?”
“We are the same age. Why are you using polite speech? You said you want to be close to me. Then why are you drawing lines?”
“Uh… Can I really drop…honorifics…?”
“Is that not obvious? Are you messing with me right now?”
“No, no.”
“Oh? No again?”
“No, no!”
“Good job! If you use polite speech again, I’ll will kill you.”
Slurring but fluently saying she would kill her, Yoo-jin raised a fist like a cotton hammer. Jae-hee almost laughed but barely held it in and went into campus. Then Yoo-jin started causing trouble, hitting Jae-hee’s shoulders and yelling to be put down.
“Hey, put me dooown!!!”
“W-wait!!! You are choking my neck…cough!”
Yoo-jin finally escaped from Jae-hee’s back and started roaming the campus, swinging her arms. Jae-hee rubbed her sore neck and battered shoulder, then ran toward Yoo-jin in shock, seeing her act like a runaway colt. Yoo-jin noticed Jae-hee chasing her and burst into innocent laughter, then ran faster like a racehorse possessed. Jae-hee ended up in a late-night chase and showed off the running skills she trained during morning jogs. Good at everything, Jae-hee caught Yoo-jin after about ten minutes. Yoo-jin, who ran like a poor gazelle chased by a leopard on the Serengeti, smiled with her eyes and hugged Jae-hee.
“…I cannot even get mad.”
“Mm, are you mad?”
“…No.”
She was so tired, she felt like dying while chasing her, and she was angry, but Yoo-jin’s smiling eyes melted it away. Since meeting Yoo-jin, she had not seen that smile many times, but now, with her completely drunk, she saw it the most. Jae-hee knelt again and offered her back. Maybe she was finally tired, because Yoo-jin climbed on energetically. Jae-hee almost fell from the impact but barely kept balance and headed to the dorm. Not knowing which room Yoo-jin lived in, Jae-hee secretly brought her to her own room, sighed in relief, and laid her on the bed. Then.
“…Urgh!”
….
Jae-hee’s sweatshirt was soaked with vomit. After emptying her stomach cleanly, Yoo-jin passed out on the bed. Staring blankly at the warmth on her clothes, Jae-hee turned to look at Yoo-jin’s face. Crying, running, vomiting. A perfect trinity of drinking habits. If it were someone else, she would never let it slide.
“…She’s really pretty.”
Why does she look like an angel when sleeping too? Jae-hee chose to laugh instead of sigh. She chuckled lightly, took off her messy clothes, pulled out tissues, and carefully wiped Yoo-jin’s mouth. She also took off the blouse that had some vomit on it. Good thing she is wearing a sleeveless top. Worried she might catch a cold, Jae-hee tucked the blanket up to Yoo-jin’s neck and started cleaning up her traces.
….
“…Ugh…”
Making a strange sound, Yoo-jin opened her eyes and pushed herself up. She looked for water.
“…Waaater...”
She thought she left water on the nightstand. Where did it go? Spotting a plastic bottle on the desk, Yoo-jin struggled up and drank. Her throat burned.
“…?”
Where is this? Yoo-jin snapped fully awake from the unfamiliar feeling. The room layout was similar, but it was not her room. She looked down at herself. The blouse she wore was gone, and only a thin sleeveless top remained. Thud. Dropping the empty bottle, Yoo-jin collapsed in shock.
“…I'm screwed.”
Broken pieces of memory floated up. Crying on Jae-hee’s back, saying nonsense. Escaping from her back and running around campus like a crazy woman, causing a late-night chase. After arriving here, saying she felt sick and throwing up all over Jae-hee’s back.
Remembering herself like a runaway colt, Yoo-jin’s face turned pale. This never happened once in Korea. She came to America for freedom, enjoyed it, and then learned how scary responsibility is. She felt fear over what she did. What should she do. Did she say something crazy. Anxiety swallowed her. And vomiting, too. Yoo-jin sat blankly, unable to think. Then the door burst open. It was Jae-hee.
“…Oh? You are up?”
Yoo-jin didn't even question the casual speech. Jae-hee walked over holding something. She checked Yoo-jin’s face and took items out of a bag.
“…This is medicine for esophagitis. And this is hangover relief. And this is vitamins to take together.”
……
“Do you remember yesterday?”
Hearing the scariest words, Yoo-jin flinched and bowed her head deeply, then nodded weakly.
“I'm sorry.”
Seeing the once confident person so deflated was cute. Jae-hee burst out laughing.
“What are you sorry for? And we agreed to speak casually from yesterday. You don't remember?”
“…Where are the clothes I threw up on…? I will pay for them. I'm really sorry.”
“I took care of everything, so do not worry. Some got on the blouse too, so I washed it together.”
She placed the medicine in Yoo-jin’s hand and spoke gently.
“Your esophagus must be really hurt from throwing up. Make sure to take it, and drink the hangover relief too.”
“…Thank you.”
Her voice was weak. Jae-hee stood up, put the checkered shirt she was wearing over Yoo-jin, and rummaged through the closet for other clothes.
“…But… why are you… so nice to me?”
A stranger did something crazy, so why treat her so warmly. At Yoo-jin’s sincere question, Jae-hee laughed loudly.
“I know, right.”
“…?”
“I'm not usually like this, but for some reason, I'm not mad, and I feel good. I do not know why.”
Unable to understand the vague answer, Yoo-jin carefully asked one more thing.
“…I didn't say anything crazy, right?”
“…Hmm, what crazy things?”
“…I didn't say anything?”
“No. You just cried.”
Hearing the firm tone, Yoo-jin finally relaxed and quietly stood behind Jae-hee.
“Ah, my friends asked to eat together outside. Is that okay?”
“…It's okay.”
“Liar~ Your stomach must be empty.”
Hit right on the mark, Yoo-jin lowered her head. Jae-hee took out the cleanest blouse and handed it to her.
“You feel sorry to me, right?”
“…Yes.”
Seeing Yoo-jin answer with her head down and a small voice, Jae-hee smiled. She brushed aside Yoo-jin’s long hair, revealed her pretty face, tapped her shoulder, and said.
“Just eat one meal with me. Then I will let it go.”
“…Really?”
“Yes, really.”
Seeing Jae-hee answer like a promise, Yoo-jin’s shaking eyes slowly calmed.
“You need to eat and then take the medicine. You cannot take it on an empty stomach.”
“…Thank you. Really.”
Jae-hee smiled and messed up Yoo-jin’s hair again.
“I will be outside. Come out soon.”
The people Jae-hee introduced welcomed Yoo-jin in their own ways. Tae-ho with a gentle smile. Sang-woo offered a handshake first. Shi-yeon greeted kindly. Tae-hee greeted with cute charm.
“Hey, get the spoons. You idiot.”
“Stop talking nonsense. Kim Sang-woo, just serve the rice.”
“You are so mean, seriously!”
“Yoo-jin, sit here.”
“It’s rare for Seon Jae-hee to say she wants to get close to someone. Where did you first meet?”
Behind their easy treatment of the awkward Yoo-jin was consideration. It could have made her feel left out, but they warmly welcomed her. Since coming to America, Yoo-jin had her first proper meal while feeling faith in humanity.
****
NEXT>>