"…How did you find out and come?"
"I told you. I’ll follow you anywhere you go."
"I didn’t know you meant even crossing the Pacific Ocean to chase me."
Jae-hee took out orange juice from the fridge and handed it over. There was no need to ask about preferences. She knew very well.
As soon as she took the juice Jae-hee gave her, she opened the bottle and gulped it down.
"Ah, so refreshing."
"So, why’d you come?"
"Just like I said. ’Cause I missed you."
"…You expect me to believe that?"
At Jae-hee's sharp tone, she held a bitter smile on her lips and looked at her. Jae-hee was trying to act tough, but her eyes were shaking. Seeing how obviously shaken she was, she spoke honestly, just as Jae-hee wanted. A little, in a scolding tone.
"I missed my sister, who caused such a fa~mous scandal in Korea, even got married, yet never once contacted her family. I wanted to see that kind of sister, so I came."
At the word "family," Jae-hee couldn't calm her pounding heart. Her palms kept sweating, so she clenched her fists. It felt like tears would start leaking out any second. Avoiding the gaze that was scanning her as if observing, she quickly changed the subject.
"Do Mom and Dad know you’re here?"
"They know I came to Korea, but they don’t know I came to see you."
"…Why’d you come? To congratulate me on my marriage?"
"That too, while I’m at it."
Jae-hee tried to regain her composure, but with this woman in front of her, it wasn’t easy. Thump, thump—her heart pounded. When she was struggling to the point of wanting to die, this was one of the faces she had engraved in her mind thousands, no, tens of thousands of times. A face she recalled with laughter but could only end with tears.
She had slimmed down now, but back then, she had chubby cheeks Jae-hee used to cover with kisses. She was the child Jae-hee carried on her back, proudly showing off.
"…Jae-yeon."
A lovable little sister. Out of all the faces that came to mind when leaving everything behind and walking out of the house, hers was the saddest.
The little sister who made Jae-hee stop in her tracks because all she could picture was her crying as if the sky had collapsed—Seon Jae-yeon.
The once-baby-faced girl was gone, now standing before her with a mature face. She didn’t look like Jae-hee, but she was still her lovable little sister.
Meeting those eyes filled with longing, Jae-hee called her name once more.
"Jae-yeon."
"Unnie, I really missed you."
"..."
"Didn’t you miss me?"
How could that be possible?
In Jae-hee’s memory, Jae-yeon had been a full two handspans shorter. But now, they stood at almost the same eye level. The innocent eyes of a child were gone, replaced with the maturity of an adult. Her baby fat had disappeared, leaving her face slim. The short hair she once had was now grown out, just like Jae-hee’s, flowing beautifully.
She was definitely Jae-yeon, yet she didn’t feel like Jae-yeon. Unable to take it, Jae-hee finally turned her head away and stood up. No matter how hard she tried to hold back, she didn’t want to show her tears. She had always wanted to be a cool, dependable older sister in front of her. That was Jae-hee’s pride.
She bit her lips tightly. She struggled to recall the reason why, no matter how unbearable it got, she never returned home. She tried to control her emotions. But it was impossible. With Jae-yeon right in front of her, how could it be?
Jae-hee braced herself against the desk and stood firm.
Jae-yeon watched her for a moment, then stood up and hugged her from behind.
"…Unnie, are you crying?"
Jae-hee couldn’t bring herself to deny it when Jae-yeon saw right through her tears and shared her warmth. She could have pushed Jae-yeon away with a lie, but seeing her come all this way, she couldn’t say anything cruel.
At last, she let out the words she had repeated to herself countless times.
"…I missed you."
"…That’s a relief."
The silent sobbing was heartbreaking.
Her sister never made a sound when she cried. Even as she covered her mouth and swallowed her sobs, she never let out a single noise. It would have been easier to just cry out loud, but Jae-hee was the kind of person who held it all in, thinking about how her family would feel if they heard her cry.
Back when Jae-yeon was too young to understand anything, all she could do was watch that lonely back. Now, she hugged Jae-hee as tightly as she could.
"I was scared… that you wouldn’t miss me anymore… or Mom, or Dad…"
"…Hhic, ungh."
"…From the beginning until now, there hasn’t been a single moment when we didn’t miss you, Unnie."
Tears poured down uncontrollably.
She had sworn she would never go back. She was the one who had left because she couldn’t endure it, the one who couldn’t repay the overwhelming love she had received. She had convinced herself over and over that she had no right to return.
But now, the very embrace she had vowed never to return to had come searching for her.
"It’s okay to cry, Unnie."
A sorrowful wail broke free.
Jae-hee had buried it deep inside, thinking she would never see her sister again. But in the warmth of Jae-yeon’s arms, she gave up holding back her tears.
Jae-yeon held her close, soothing her with affectionate hands. Her own tears welled up, but she swallowed them down.
If she cried too, who would comfort her sister?
If she cried, Jae-hee would only end up trying to comfort her instead.
She had never once truly been there for Jae-hee.
The only thing she could do now was hold back her own tears for the sister who was hurting more.
"…Unnie, you’ve turned into such a crybaby now."
"You are asking for trouble, Seon Jae-yeon!"
"Hehe~"
Swallowing her embarrassment, Jae-hee quickly wiped away her tears. Her face was flushed red, and her eyes were swollen. She was relieved that she didn’t have any more lectures today. She grabbed Jae-yeon’s cheeks, pulling them as the younger girl clung tightly to her.
"Ahhh! Unnie, that hurts!"
"Where did all your baby fat go? At least you used to be cute. Now you just look weird."
"What do you mean weird! Do you even know how popular I was? I could probably fill Yankee Stadium with all the people who hit on me."
"…So, did you date? How many? What kind of people?"
Jae-hee, who had always cherished Jae-yeon dearly, was so shocked by her words that she quickly asked. It was obvious that there was some exaggeration, but she still felt worried. Seeing Jae-hee's pale face, Jae-yeon grinned brightly.
Silly Jae-hee, you have not changed at all, huh?
Jae-yeon watched her sister's face turn white and spoke playfully.
"Hmm~ Secret?"
"You know I hate it when you hide things like this, right? Tell me the truth, now!"
"Nooo! You have to tell me about your love life first. My one and only sister got a wife, so does the little sister not have the right to know? In Korean… what was it again? Olke*?"
*올케 (olke), the Korean word for "sister-in-law" (used by a younger sister to refer to her older brother's wife).
Watching Jae-yeon struggle with the pronunciation—awkwardly saying "Olke? Olkie? Olkwe?"—Jae-hee felt a headache coming. How was she supposed to introduce Yoo-jin to her bold little sister? Their relationship was only just starting to recover. How could she even begin to explain it?
Knock, knock—
The door suddenly opened before Jae-hee could respond. She and Jae-yeon both turned to look at it. Jae-hee assumed it must be Soo-jin and was just about to figure out how to introduce Jae-yeon when—
Before she could answer, someone pushed the door open without waiting.
"Ahhh, Yoo-jin unnie, you should not just open the door like that..."
"…Huh?"
"Who are you?"
"That is what I should be asking."
Click, click.
Jae-hee had seen Yoo-jin approach with such an intense gaze and mesmerizing movements before. It reminded her of that time—a Spanish man had been blatantly flirting with her, and Yoo-jin had strode over with burning eyes, wrapped an arm around Jae-hee’s waist, and coolly raised her long middle finger at him. The same shiver ran down her spine now.
Why Yoo-jin was here did not matter. What mattered was the radiant smile that was almost terrifyingly bright.
"What is your relationship with my wife?"
Screech—Bang.
Soo-jin's dynamic expression was left behind as the heavy iron door of the lab slammed shut. Jae-hee’s brain short-circuited.
Blinded by jealousy, Yoo-jin was seconds away from tearing Jae-yeon apart.
The sharp air was suffocating. Yoo-jin had stepped right up to Jae-yeon, her eyes flashing murderously at the hands wrapped around Jae-hee’s waist, as if she was about to snap Jae-yeon’s wrist on the spot.
Seeing this, Jae-hee hurriedly wedged herself between them.
"W-Wait a second!"
The look in Yoo-jin’s eyes demanded an explanation—it was the kind of gaze one had right before losing control.
Seeing that Yoo-jin was seconds away from exploding, Jae-hee finally squeezed her eyes shut and shouted at her.
"She is my sister!"
"…What?"
Jae-yeon, who had been quietly observing the scene with amusement, waved at Yoo-jin from over Jae-hee’s shoulder.
"Can I call you Olke?"
"…?"
Yoo-jin’s lips curled into an exaggerated, artificial smile at Jae-yeon’s casual and unconcerned tone.
"…Honey."
"…Yes?"
"Shall we talk a little?"
At Jae-hee’s request to take Jae-yeon on a campus tour without asking any questions, Soo-jin nodded enthusiastically, grabbed Jae-yeon, and disappeared.
Leaving behind Soo-jin’s face, which looked like she’d just been granted a special pardon, Jae-hee closed the door and locked it.
Yoo-jin, looking extremely displeased, sat on the sofa with her legs crossed.
“...How did you get here? Didn’t you say you were busy today?”
“Is that what matters?”
Jae-hee wasn’t sure if she should be happy or worried about Yoo-jin’s obsession with her.
Worried about what would happen next, she fiddled with her fingertips and asked again.
“Are you sure you should be here?”
“...I wrapped things up before coming. Don’t worry.”
In reality, she hadn’t wrapped up anything—she’d rushed out in a hurry. But she couldn’t say that.
Storming into her spouse’s workplace over a single phone call, Yoo-jin knew she was being excessive, but she couldn’t help herself.
The absurdity of her own jealousy made her let out a hollow laugh.
Seeing that, Jae-hee tensed up.
“I don’t remember you ever telling me you had a sibling.”
Yoo-jin, who carried her own wounds regarding family, had never pried into Jae-hee’s.
She hadn’t asked because she knew Jae-hee, looking like she was about to collapse at any moment, had no intention of seeing them again.
“...I… That is…”
“...Why are you just standing there?”
“Huh?”
“Sit.”
Despite the tension in the air, Yoo-jin’s voice was calm.
Caught off guard, Jae-hee nodded and sat down across from her.
Their eyes met.
“…Did you cry?”
“…Just… a little.”
“I don’t think it was just a little.”
Jae-hee was once again amazed at how quickly Yoo-jin figured out she had cried her eyes out.
How did she know?
Does my face get messed up when I cry too much?
Pushing aside her confusion, Jae-hee rubbed her eyes with her sleeve.
“…Haa.”
Yoo-jin’s sigh made her heart shrink again.
Yoo-jin suddenly stood up and looked down at Jae-hee.
Feeling like her heart had shrunk to the size of a bean, Jae-hee shrank back and lowered her gaze.
Yoo-jin grabbed a tissue from Jae-hee’s desk, sat down beside her, and carefully wiped away the lingering tears at the corner of her eyes.
“I won’t get mad. So, explain it to me calmly.”
“…You’re not mad?”
“…I’m not mad at you.”
I was mad at the fact that you were with a pretty woman, not at you.
But now that I know that pretty woman is your sister, I can’t even say that.
So Yoo-jin beat around the bush.
“That’s why… I want you to tell me yourself. What’s going on here?”
“…It might be a long story.”
“I’m ready to listen.”
Jae-hee looked at Yoo-jin.
In the past, having a conversation like this wouldn’t have been possible.
She would’ve lashed out and shattered Jae-hee’s mental state with harsh words, or worse, done something to Jae-yeon.
But she didn’t.
It was a clear sign of change.
Jae-hee engraved that into her mind and cleared her throat.
How much should I say?
Can I say it without crying?
She never meant to hide it, but now, it feels like it’s too late to tell. Even though it wasn’t her fault, Jae-hee trembled, feeling terrified, like a guilty person confessing a crime.
Seeing Jae-hee shrink back like that overlapped with Yoo-jin’s own childhood self, small and cowering.
Yoo-jin bit her lip.
Then, she recalled how Jae-hee had once reached out to her when she was hurting.
Slowly, Yoo-jin reached out and took Jae-hee’s hand.
Her stiff gaze was fixed on the table, not on Jae-hee.
Rather than ‘holding’ her hand, it was more like ‘grabbing’ it, but even that clumsy warmth was enough.
I probably can’t hold your hand as gently and perfectly as you did when I first told you my story.
But I won’t abandon you after hearing yours.
I just want to understand you.
I hope that reaches you.
With that thought, Yoo-jin listened to Jae-hee’s story.
The reason Jae-hee had never spoken about it before was because even putting it into words was unbearable.
She lacked the courage to voice wounds that had never healed, so she had stayed silent.
Now, thinking about speaking those lingering wounds aloud made her vision go dark, but she forced herself to open her mouth.
“…Jae-yeon is my younger sister, five years apart. Since there was a bit of an age gap…I adored her so much. I always wanted a big family. My Mom, my Dad—I loved them both, but… I wished for more warmth, more noise.
So… when my Mom was pregnant with Jae-yeon, I heard that I was really happy. I barely remember it myself, but my parents told me. It’s probably true.
Even after she was born, I cherished her so much. Spending time with her never felt like a waste, not even for a second…I truly loved her.”
"My parents… I cut ties with them, but they were really good people. You know how people say that when a second child is born, parents tend to pour all their love into them and neglect the firstborn?
But… not once did I ever feel that way. You would think I’d have felt left out at least once, but my parents never let me feel that. Whether Jae-yeon was born or not, they always loved me the same.
Since babies need more attention, I once told my parents that it was okay to focus on Jae-yeon more. I had already received plenty of love for five years, so I wanted Jae-yeon to have the same.
But my Dad said, ‘You’re our child too. Why would you think that?’ He told me that while having a mature daughter was nice, they actually preferred it when I whined and acted like a child."
As Jae-hee spoke, it seemed like she was recalling something deeply nostalgic. Her eyes were filled with longing. She smiled, but it was not a smile of the present. It was the smile of someone reminiscing about a time long past.
However, the happiness in that smile was so genuine that Yoo-jin could not bring herself to point it out. She simply stared at Jae-hee's face in silence. Their eyes were meeting, but Jae-hee was seeing something Yoo-jin could not.
"…I once wrote an essay when I was a child. I even won an award for it at school. It was about my beloved family. It was a perfect topic for a child growing up in love. My near-perfect family. My dear Mom and Dad. And Jae-yeon.
For a child, 'family' is both a haven and a fence… something they want to protect."
"Before stepping into society, family is the very first relationship we form, and it probably lasts until we die. It influences our entire lives. I was incredibly lucky to have been in the best possible position within that relationship. If a little kid could write something like that, just imagine how wonderful my family must have been."
So, Jae-hee was brilliant from a young age. Learning things about Jae-hee that she had never known before was enjoyable for Yoo-jin. But she could not ignore the way Jae-hee was speaking about it as if it were someone else’s story.
"That warm and happy family… the one that little kid so desperately wanted to protect… there was a time when it all collapsed."
"…When?"
"…When I met my grandmother. My paternal grandmother."
The happiness on Jae-hee’s face vanished in an instant. She did not offer any further explanation, but it was not difficult to see that she did not have good feelings toward her paternal family.
"My grandfather passed away early, so I do not really know what he was like… but my grandmother disliked me."
Jae-hee had heard plenty about her grandfather’s reputation. Among the Koreans who had settled in America chasing the American Dream, her grandfather was the most successful.
A war hero who had served as an officer in World War II and achieved a remarkable victory without any casualties. Although he had been injured in the process and discharged early, he was a man who had received a medal that even Americans rarely earned—at a time when immigrants were treated the worst.
Jae-hee had no memory of seeing her grandfather’s face in person. However, a visit to the war history museum was enough to see his face and achievements in the clearest detail. Even in neighborhoods where white supremacy was rampant, his name was spoken with respect.
For Jae-hee, who had been mocked countless times simply for being Asian, her grandfather’s reputation was something to admire. She couldn't see the struggles he had faced firsthand, but it was obvious they must have been grueling. People said that behind his success stood her grandmother. That made Jae-hee respect both of them even more… and that was why she could never forget the day she met her grandmother for the first time.
A voice screaming so loudly it felt like it would tear through the air—Jae-hee could hear the raw hatred in it. The way it rejected her was so blatant that even as a child, she could understand it instantly. A clear boundary drawn between "us" and "you." It was drawn so cruelly, so unfairly, that it made Jae-hee feel like she did not belong.
In that once warm and loving family, she was suddenly the only one who was not part of "us." At just five years old—an age far too young to face such a cruel reality—Jae-hee was forced into the role of an outsider. And in her heart, a seed of anxiety began to grow.
"…Lowly wench, ill-mannered brat, wretched girl."
"…."
"Every time I went to that house, that was what they called me."
"…Why? Why on earth? Why would they—!"
Without realizing it, Yoo-jin raised her voice in anger, but she quickly bit her lip. Did she even have the right to be this angry? Was it her place to feel this way? Could someone like her, who had given Jae-hee love so recklessly, even think like this?
Seeing Jae-hee lower her head with a sorrowful smile, Yoo-jin felt her chest tighten painfully.
"…Exactly."
Jae-hee spoke in a bitter voice, as if she were genuinely curious.
"Really… I wonder. Just how unbearable must a grandchild be for her to say such things…?"
"…"
"A harmonious family, loving parents, a cherished younger sibling… But even they could only offer so much comfort. That is why I had no choice but to leave that house."
Something about Jae-hee’s voice gave Yoo-jin a strange sense of unease. Someone claiming to be curious should not sound like they already knew the answer. Her eyes, clouded with resignation, looked as if she had long accepted something she could not change.
And to leave home because of her grandmother’s hatred alone—it did not seem convincing. There had to be more to it. Yet, Jae-hee seemed afraid to bring it up.
Yoo-jin decided not to voice her doubts. Being hated by someone was overwhelming even for a grown adult. Her dry eyes grew damp again. It felt like pouring salt on an unhealed wound.
Without a word, she gripped Jae-hee’s hand once more.
"Stop."
"…What?"
"…This is enough for now."
"Yoo-jin, you do not have to think about me. I…"
"Don't."
Jae-hee flinched at Yoo-jin’s firm words. The cold expression, the way she cut her off—it reminded her of the time Yoo-jin had pushed her away. But she quickly erased that thought.
It was different now. Yoo-jin’s eyes weren’t empty like before. There was certainty in them, and warmth remained. Her sharp gaze held no sharpness toward Jae-hee at all.
"…For now, this is all I want to hear."
"…"
"I'll listen when I want to. But for today, this is enough."
"…But."
"Don't just spill everything on your own terms. I'll listen when I want to."
She could've said it more gently, but her sharp tongue got ahead of her, laced with a tone that could only hurt. Yoo-jin regretted it the moment the words left her mouth.
She had cut Jae-hee off not because she wasn't ready to listen, but because she realized Jae-hee wasn't ready to talk. She could have said it kindly, but her useless pride wouldn't let her take it back. Yoo-jin bit her lip.
"…Okay."
"…"
"Alright, Yoo-jin."
There wasn’t a trace of hurt in her voice. Yoo-jin, puzzled, asked again when she saw Jae-hee smile. She had every reason to be upset, so why…
"…Why are you laughing?"
"…I wonder."
The person who had just worn the saddest face in the world was now slowly curving her lips into a smile. It pushed its way out until she couldn't hold it back anymore. When laughter finally escaped her, Yoo-jin's expression twisted strangely.
Seeing that, Jae-hee burst out laughing.
"Hahaha!"
Watching Jae-hee laugh so loudly, Yoo-jin frowned.
"What. Why."
"Nothing, haha… just because~"
Just, she can't help laughing. The harsh tone slipped out, surprising her, but that worried look in Yoo-jin’s eyes was unexpected. If you were really that cruel, you wouldn’t have waited for me to open my mouth to speak. You would have tried to force an answer out of me. You're trying so awkwardly to care for me. This was a genuine, "Yoo-jin-style" worry, and it made all the tension fade away.
Jae-hee then leaned her head on Yoo-jin's shoulder and giggled. Grabbing the hem of Yoo-jin's jacket, she stopped laughing and whispered.
"I'll tell you when you want to hear it."
"... It's upsetting."
"Do you really feel bad?"
It was a teasing tone. A soft, gentle voice, as if soothing a child who was clumsy at expressing emotions. Yoo-jin bit her lip again. Could it be... does she know how I feel and is doing this on purpose? Is that why she's laughing like that...? Frustrated that her feelings had been exposed, Yoo-jin pushed Jae-hee's shoulder with all her might.
"...You're so annoying, you."
“Pfft, am I really annoying? Truly?"
Looking at Jae-hee, who was smiling brilliantly with her eyes curving in a radiant, almost enchanting way, Yoo-jin's face gradually turned red. Like cherry blossoms, her pale face flushed with a light pink hue, and seeing that, Jae-hee's heart, which had been in turmoil, slowly calmed down.
Blinded by jealousy, Yoo-jin had even come to school to find her, listened calmly to her story, and even showed consideration by saying she would wait to hear the hard-to-share things later. Just like the day Jae-hee had fallen for her at first sight, she felt her heart racing with excitement.
'My eyes weren't wrong.'
Even though it was winter, why did it feel like spring? Jae-hee felt an inexplicable warmth as she looked at Yoo-jin. She might be clumsy, and more accustomed to hurting others... but she tried to be kind, pretended to give in, and knew how to wait. That's why she couldn't help but love her.
"Yoo-jin."
"…Mm."
"I'm glad that you're my wife, that the person by my side is you..."
Where could there be such a bad wife like me? As Yoo-jin was about to argue, Jae-hee cut her off, saying once again as if to seal her lips.
"Thank you for letting me love you."
****