****

Since that day, it has been a cold war.  

Jae-hee acted well so it wouldn't show to Jae-yeon, but maybe it still showed, because Jae-yeon carefully asked if something was wrong. Jae-hee had nothing to say, so she only said it was nothing and sent Jae-yeon away.  

She understood Yoo-jin’s broken heart. How betrayed and upset she must feel.  

But if Jae-hee didn't match Cheon-woo’s will, she worried that Cheon-woo’s anger would fall on Yoo-jin instead of herself. Every time Yoo-jin came back from that house, she was already so anxious. Jae-hee thought it might be better if that anger hit her instead, so she answered too quickly. That was the mistake. 

Because of the four more days added, she worried about Yoo-jin again. She feared Yoo-jin might touch the medicine again. She feared Yoo-jin might swallow a handful of pills and fall asleep again.  

A bitter laugh came out.  

Even after getting such wounds, she still worried about that person. She truly had no pride. Well, maybe she still had some honor? To worry about the one who tore her heart into thousands of pieces, it was laughable. But even if it was laughable, her heart didn't change. She would rather throw away all pride and beg Ha Yoo-jin than to lose her. 

Her wound could just be buried. As always, she could swallow her tears alone and press down her feelings. As long as she endured, it was fine. Not knowing that this way was eating her from inside, Jae-hee buried her wound and worried for Yoo-jin.  

How could she ease Yoo-jin’s heart? She thought and thought alone, but no answer came. The worries chased one another endlessly. Even when she checked her script for the conference, even during a department meeting, even when she discussed schedules with Professor Han, her thoughts slipped back to Yoo-jin. Unable to watch anymore, Professor Han waved his hand before Jae-hee’s face.  

“Professor Seon!”  

“Ye-yes…! S-sorry!”

“I was wondering why you gave no answer. Is something wrong?”  

When Jae-hee only gave a faint smile without replying, Professor Han picked up a water bottle from the corner and handed it over.  

“Take a break while you work.”  

“…I’m sorry.”  

“Look in the mirror once. Your dark circles have come down… I know you are having a hard time with more than just the presentation, but keep your mind together.”  

“…Yes.”  

Jae-hee opened the bottle and turned her head to drink the water in big gulps. That sight was unusual, so Professor Han added one more word. 

“Is it that hard?”  

“…Everything else is fine. It is just that the business trip got longer…”  

“Why is that a problem…? When you work for the Mayor, you can rest well, can't you? It must be the first time going in a while, you could even do some sightseeing.”  

“…Well, leaving my wife alone makes me uneasy.”  

“…You really are something.”  

Professor Han burst out laughing. He knew they were a loving couple, but it seemed the honeymoon was truly the honeymoon.  

“You can't bear being apart even for a moment, can you? Hm? Well, I never thought I would hear Professor Seon talk like this, hahaha!”  

The meaning seemed a little off, but Jae-hee awkwardly went along with the laugh. 

Professor Han laughed heartily until wrinkles gathered at his eyes.  

“If you feel this way, then your wife must feel even more.”  

“…It’s just… like that.”

“What do you mean just like that? At times like this, the one leaving must do better. How about giving her some kind of event before you go?”  

“Event?”  

“You’re a woman too, so you should know well. Give her even a single flower to lighten her mood.”  

“Flower?”  

Flower. Yoo-jin didn’t like flowers much. Jae-hee remembered the days when she, not knowing that Yoo-jin didn’t place much meaning on them, brought flowers all year long. She shook her head.  

“Or a doll, something like that is good too. My wife likes making Teddy… bear? Something like that.”  

“Ah… right. Madam has great skill with her hands.”  

Wasn't she a Hanbok* designer? When Jae-hee and her college classmates visited Professor Han’s home, one side of the room was full of dolls his wife had made herself. Jae-hee, who could only mend a torn sock, had stared at that shelf with so much envy.  

*Traditional S.Korean clothing 

“It may seem childish, but sometimes childish things work.”  

“Thank you for the advice.”  

Jae-hee slowly smiled as Yoo-jin came to mind. A doll, huh. She put down the water bottle and spoke to Professor Han.  

“Alright, let’s start again.”

****

Until the very moment of departure, Jae-hee and Yoo-jin never managed to have a proper talk.  

Of all times, the department store confirmed overtime for all executives because they were preparing to launch a new brand aiming at the e-commerce market, so they could not see each other until the very last moment before parting.  

With a slightly sullen face, Jae-hee left a message saying she was leaving and turned off her phone. After passing through the pouring flashes of cameras and finishing all the departure procedures, she sat in the business seat with a tired face. Cheon-woo, sitting beside her, opened his mouth.  

“Then will you be staying at the hotel the whole time?”  

“Yes. I also need to finish the presentation, and I have to keep reviewing the exchange project agreement.”  

“…After the schedule ends, let’s have dinner together at least.”  

“Yes, understood.”  

“…What about Yoo-jin?”  

“…She went into an all-night shift for the launch project.”  

“…Hm.”  

“You don’t have to worry.”  

“…”  

Heavy silence sank between them.  

It was the first time Jae-hee was alone with her father-in-law. The first time sitting in business class, yet the mood was so awkward and heavy. Feeling uneasy, Jae-hee kept glancing around.  

The school’s travel budget could never cover this seat, but thanks to Yoo-jin asking Secretary Choi to book it, she was able to sit here. Since that day, Jae-hee and Yoo-jin had saved their words, only speaking through someone else.  

“…I have never heard about your parents.”  

“…My parents…”  

Jae-hee trailed off. Now that Jae-yeon knew about her, she thought she could not hide her parents forever. But she did not expect him to ask first.  

“…As I told you, after I left home, I never contacted them.”  

“Were you not on good terms?”  

“That is not it… They strongly opposed my studies. They also opposed me coming to Korea.”  

“…I see.”  

She thought he would press more, but he closed his mouth and stared out the window instead. That was unexpected. He looked so different from how he was with Yoo-jin that Jae-hee carefully decided to ask a question herself.  

“…Father, why did you agree to our marriage?”  

It was the wrong question. Realizing her mistake, Jae-hee panicked and tried to correct her words.  

“Um, I mean, that is, well—”  

“Are you curious?”  

“…Well…”

Cheon-woo had a reputation for stopping at nothing when it came to political interests, so Jae-hee believed there had to be a reason he allowed the marriage. She naturally thought it was for a political title, to be known as a “politician who supports same-sex marriage” and a “politician with a child in a same-sex marriage.”  

But something about that conclusion never sat right with her. It was hard to accept that he would decide the most important rite of life, his own daughter’s marriage, only for political gain. Especially on the wedding day, when Jae-hee saw Cheon-woo’s face, she felt that could not be the whole truth.  

“…My wife said the marriage should follow Yoo-jin’s will.”  

“Mother-in-law said that?”  

“I only agreed with her words.”

With those words, Cheon-woo leaned back and closed his eyes, showing he would allow no more talk.  

Right after his last words, Jae-hee was startled to see, for a brief moment on his side profile, the same pitiful look Yoo-jin once gave her.  

Cheon-woo had never once spoken to her about Yoo-jin’s mother. Yoo-jin also held back her words on that matter, so Jae-hee’s head grew dizzy. But it felt like she had just heard something very important, so she kept glancing at Cheon-woo.  

It gave her a strange feeling, seeing a man who seemed like he would never think of Yoo-jin actually act in a way that seemed to consider her.

****

Close to two o’clock, Yoo-jin finally came home from work, dragging her feet like a worn-out rag. Even if she went to sleep right away, she still had to prepare to leave again at dawn. Leaning weakly against the kitchen counter, she drank a tonic, wishing the business would end soon. Just then, Jae-yeon came down from the second floor.  

“Eolke~”  

“…Yes, Agassi.”  

“You must feel lonely, right? It’s your honeymoon, but she’s away on a business trip. That must be upsetting.”  

“No, not really… It’s all just work.”  

“Eh, really?”  

“…I do feel a little lonely.”  

“Hehe, I knew it! That’s why Unnie prepared something for you!”  

Yoo-jin tilted her head. Jae-yeon pulled something out from her pocket.  

“…A key?”  

“This is the key to the study. She told me to give it to you.”  

“…Jae-hee did?”  

“Yes!”

It seemed Jae-yeon was only in charge of delivering it, because as soon as she handed it over, she quickly ran back upstairs to the guest room.  

What’s this? Yoo-jin held the key and looked at the study. That room was filled only with Jae-hee’s taste. In this big house, the one place where Jae-hee could breathe freely was there alone. Just what could be inside…?  

Yoo-jin slowly walked over to the study. She slid the key in and unlocked the door. With a click, the lock opened with a light sound. Carefully gripping the doorknob, she pushed the door open.  

Inside, there were eleven shopping bags neatly lined up.  

“…Dates?”  

From today, the day Jae-hee left, until the date she was scheduled to return. Each bag had a date written on it with care.  

Staring at the bulging bags, Yoo-jin reached for the one marked with today’s date and stepped out of the study. Then she locked the door again, making sure only she could open it, and walked back to the master bedroom with quicker steps.  

Her cheeks flushed, like a child excited to open a gift from Santa Claus. It looked like Jae-hee had prepared something. Yoo-jin hurriedly opened the bag.  

“…A doll?”

It was a cute stuffed crocodile doll. Its big mouth could open, and inside was a tiny pink tongue. Covered in green, the crocodile’s eyes sparkled brightly.  

What, did she think a doll would make my anger go away? Yoo-jin thought so, but she felt annoyed that her heart was already softening. She threw the doll down.  

“…Mm-mm, ah-ah. Hello. My name’s Aksoon!”  

“W-what the—?”  

The altered voice was Jae-hee’s. Jae-hee’s voice was coming from inside the crocodile doll.  

“I’ll stay by your side while Jae-hee’s away! How about putting a bath bomb in and taking a bath before bed tonight? If you bathe, you’ll sleep well. Sleep tight, Yoo-jin!”  

“…Seriously, Seon Jae-hee.”  

Yoo-jin pressed down on the doll’s body again. The voice played back like a machine.  

“Mm-mm, ah-ah. Hello. My name’s Aksoon! I’ll stay by your side while Jae-hee’s away! How about putting a bath bomb in and taking a bath before bed tonight? If you bathe, you’ll sleep well. Sleep tight, Yoo-jin!”  

It was only a mechanical recording, but for some reason, she felt like crying.  

At the bottom of the shopping bag, there was a bath bomb from a brand Yoo-jin liked.  

“…Really, such a fool… Why are you so good to me… you idiot.”

She was happy, really happy, but tears came. It wasn’t tears of thanks, but tears of anger at herself for saying words that pushed Jaehee into despair. 

Someone like me, I don't even deserve this kind of love. To someone like me, you should have cursed, you should have hit me. Why are you so good to me? Why are you such a good person? I’m the worst woman in the world, but why, when I stand by your side, do I become the most precious person in the world?  

How could someone like me accept a love too much for me? I cannot return anything to your love, but why do you give it without condition? Maybe I should leave you, so you can be happy.  

“Hhic, hic… hhhup.”  

The tears didn't stop. I did not even give a proper apology, I did not even give a proper send-off, and just let you go like that. With what heart did you prepare this?  She thought of Jae-hee, who must have carefully picked up the torn pieces of her heart.  

“Hhic, sorry… Jae-hee, I’m sorry… I’m… so sorry.”

The words of apology, scattered meaninglessly with no one left to receive them. Yoo-jin hugged the crocodile doll with Jae-hee’s voice tight, as if it were Jae-hee herself.  

The machine-like voice came out. Wrapped around her was the warm love Jae-hee had prepared with care, thinking Yoo-jin could not fall asleep alone without her.

****