Chapter 87: Glimpse

No one knew how long it had been. On the bed, Xiao Moyan slowly showed some response. She gently pushed the quilt aside and sat up. Leaning on the headboard, she pressed her dry lips from the alcohol, her eyes dazed as she stared outside the door, a trace of pain flashing in them.  

Ruoxi, what I owe you, in this life I can't repay. I'm sorry...  

Letting out a sigh, she lifted the quilt and got up from the bed. She pulled open the drawer, ready to take a cigarette, but by accident, she caught a glimpse of the phone by the table glowing with faint blue light. She froze, stretched out her right hand, and picked it up.  

The phone was still in call state. Xiao Moyan frowned, realizing something was wrong. With her left hand she pressed hard on her philtrum, trying to make herself awake. She looked closely, and her whole body stiffened.  

The call time on the screen was still ticking, second by second. Yet the name of the caller stabbed deeply into Xiao Moyan’s eyes.  

Slowly lifting the phone to her ear, her lips trembled but no words came out. Only her hurried breathing revealed the panic in her heart.  

Though she had a clear conscience, Fang Ruoxi was her first love. Xia Linying had long held this in her heart. How much had she heard? From when had she been listening? Xiao Moyan didn't know at all. How to explain, how to explain...  

The sound of rapid breathing crossed the ocean through the phone to the other side. The person there clearly reacted. Her voice was a little hoarse, but without any emotion.  

“Xiao...”  

Xiao Moyan bit her lower lip, not knowing how to answer.

"Is that you, Xiao?"  

Softly repeated, Xia Linying’s voice was still calm, without the jealousy and anger of the past, so plain it left people at a loss.  

"It’s me."  

Those two words, almost spoken through her nose, carried so much sadness in Xiao Moyan’s heart. For the first time in her life, she deeply blamed herself for that rotten past of hers.  

She had lost count of how many times Xia Linying had been hurt and heartbroken because of the women around her. It wasn’t that she didn’t know. It wasn’t that she couldn’t avoid it. She just habitually ignored it, like all those fleeting loves in the past she never cared about. But Xiao Moyan should’ve known, now she wasn’t alone. She had Xia Linying, she had a lover. She should’ve thought for her, cared about her feelings.  

A long silence replaced the longing that should’ve been there. The fingers of her right hand gripping the phone turned pale. Xiao Moyan hesitated, then finally spoke.  

"Xiaxia, I—"  

"I know, I believe you."  

Xia Linying cut off Xiao Moyan’s words. But her voice was no longer calm. It carried the sorrow Xiao Moyan least wanted to hear, drifting into her ear and stabbing her heart.  

"I know, you won’t fail me, you won’t..."  

Xia Linying murmured softly, speaking to Xiao Moyan, but it sounded more like she was speaking to herself.  

"Xiaxia, don’t be like this..."  

Xia Linying’s incoherent words made Xiao Moyan’s heart ache. She shook her head and explained in a low voice.

"I didn't know she would appear in my room. I know Fang Ruoxi's nature too well. If I drove her out directly, she would not give up, she would keep forcing me. I could only, only do this..."

"I know, I know..."

Xia Linying spoke in a low voice. Her voice trembled a little, with a heavy nasal sound.

"Xiao, listen to me. I don't mean to blame you. I'm sad, not because I think you and Fang Ruoxi have something, really not."

"Then why?"

Xiao Moyan felt a little anxious. Keeping words inside is the biggest taboo between lovers. She doesn't allow such a thing to happen between her and Xia Linying.

"Xiao, I only feel pain for you."

That one sentence cut Xiao Moyan's heart to pieces. The bitterness and hard work of the past month seemed to be released at this moment. No matter what, Xiaxia understands her, doesn't she? Like this... everything is worth it, worth it... Xiao Moyan held the phone, held it tightly, only wanting to be closer to Xia Linying, closer to her woman.

"Xiao, I don't want anything, I only want you alone. Don't fight anymore, alright? Don't make yourself this tired anymore, alright? Give up Tianhuang, let's leave together, go to Australia you love most. Go there and plant the blue enchantress you love most, alright? Xiao, don't fight anymore. I'm afraid, so afraid. I'm afraid we'll also separate because of others, afraid of those misunderstandings that can't be untied, afraid of that hatred that would only keep tangling tighter and tighter..."

Xia Linying spoke with difficulty. At this moment, she only wanted to hold Xiao Moyan, hold that woman with an exhausted body and mind, kiss her forehead, and smooth her frowning brows.  

Xiao Moyan bit her lower lip hard. Her face had no color from the alcohol. She held the phone, looked at her messy self in the mirror, and shook her head.  

"I won't give up."  

"Xiao..."  

Xia Linying's voice carried a trace of pleading. Xiao Moyan pressed her chest, shaking her head hard.  

"Xiaxia, what I want is very simple, fairness, only fairness. I can't, can't let her in the underworld hold hatred, I can't..."  

The call was cut off harshly. Xiao Moyan held the phone, stood up, crossed her arms in front of her chest, and stared blankly at the already pitch-black window. Warm tears slid slowly down her pale cheeks, dripping on the red carpet, and vanished in an instant.

****

Mrs. Xu carefully held the porridge and secretly looked at Xia Lingying. She saw the faint dark circles under her eyes. She sighed and shook her head.  

Last night, when Fang Ruoxi called Xia Lingying, Mrs. Xu was right there. She was happily talking to Xia Lingying about Xiao Moyan’s funny childhood stories. But one call broke all the cheerful mood. Not much was said, but from Xia Lingying’s tense face, Mrs. Xu could see something. The broken bits of talk after that made her understand more or less. She wanted to comfort Xiaxia and tell her that Miss’s stubborn temper was not made in one or two days. But when the words came to her mouth, in the end, she didn’t say them.  

It was the matter of the two of them. What use was it for her to step in?  

After only a few sips of porridge, Xia Lingying put down her chopsticks. She raised her head and forced a small smile at Mrs. Xu.  

“Mrs. Xu, I’m done. The station has a big program change today. I might come back late.”  

Mrs. Xu looked at the porridge in her bowl and the untouched flaky cake. She sighed and said nothing.  

After parking the car, Xia Lingying opened the door absentmindedly. Her long legs stepped out. Because she was distracted, she didn’t notice a few-meter-long brown cement rod left from the unfinished construction on the side. Her right leg was tripped hard. The sharp pain spread in a flash from her calf through her whole body. She held her calf tight and squatted down from the pain, sucking in cold air with big breaths.  

She slowly rolled up her pant leg. The purple bruise on her pale calf was clear. Xia Lingying frowned as she looked. She rested for a while and then, bearing the pain, she held the car and slowly tried to stand. But she couldn’t stand the throbbing pain. She fell back to the ground at once.

The empty parking lot. The cold air. She sat weakly on the icy cement ground. Looking at the scary wound on her leg, Xia Lingying’s eyes slowly filled with mist. It wasn’t fear of pain, it was grievance. Grievance because she wasn’t by her side. Grievance because she hung up on her last night.  

She only wanted steady love. Was that wrong? Xiao Moyan wanted to avenge her mother, but that meant hurting her own mother. No matter how much she loved Xiao Moyan, she couldn’t just watch her hurt her mother. Blood was thicker than water. No matter what Qiu Muying had done wrong, she carried her for ten months and gave birth to her through hardship. She couldn’t, she couldn’t be unfilial. She couldn’t…  

“Xiaxia—”  

Out of nowhere, a very familiar voice came into her ear. Xia Lingying froze. She held her leg and raised her head. Not far across from the car, the long missing Lan Chen was standing there in a cap, looking at her with no expression.  

Memories rose. A bad feeling poured into her chest. Xia Lingying clenched her teeth, held onto the car, and stood up with effort. By now, Lan Chen had already walked up to her side. He reached out, wanting to help her, but Xia Lingying dodged fast.  

“What are you doing here?”  

Xia Lingying stepped back and looked coldly at Lan Chen. She didn’t know why, but this Lan Chen always gave her strong pressure. Her sharp side profile no longer had the youth from before. The black hat covering her eyes and the dark clothes on her body only added to her menace.  

Lan Chen quietly looked at Xia Lingying. She looked at her hand tightly holding her leg. She gave a cold laugh.  

“It seems, Xiaxia, is really not living well,just as I guessed.”  

“It’s none of your business.”

Coldly snapping back, Xia Lingying turned and slowly walked forward. She didn’t want to see Lan Chen. She didn’t want to see the woman who deepened the hatred in Xiao Moyan’s heart. She didn’t want to see the woman who once deeply hurt Mrs. Xu.  

With her hands in her pockets, Lan Chen followed Xia Lingying at an easy pace. Her tone was casual as she said,  

“Xiaxia, I’ve been gone for so long. Don’t you want to know what I’ve been doing?”  

Xia Lingying pressed her lips and stayed silent. She didn’t want to waste words on someone like her.  

Lan Chen didn’t care. She let out a light scoff and went on,  

“Even if you’re not interested in me, you’d still want to know how much Xia Ran did back then, for the sake of returning, for taking Tianhuang back. How many things against his conscience he did, and how much proof fell into my hands, right?”  

Her body froze where she stood. Xia Lingying slowly turned back, staring at Lan Chen in disbelief.  

“He was good to you. How could you—”  

Lan Chen met Xia Lingying’s gaze. Her eyes were full of hatred. Her clenched fists grew tighter. She sneered coldly,  

“Good to me? Xia Lingying, wake up. Xia Ran is no longer the one who loved you, cherished you, and held you in his palm. To protect Xiao Nian, how many people did he harm? I gave him my loyalty and worked for him with all my life. And what did I get in the end? Doubt, suspicion, even an attempt to silence me with death.”  

Lan Chen’s words made Xia Lingying’s body grow colder and colder. She raised her head, staring at Lan Chen, saying nothing.  

Seeing the doubt in Xia Lingying’s eyes, Lan Chen gave a low laugh. Slowly, she took off her cap. In that instant, Xia Lingying’s eyes widened. She stared at her, unblinking.

Author’s Note:

^_^ Today Yezi made a bet with someone, saying I’ll update daily until “Unspoken Rules” is finished. I got a fierce counterattack instead.  

See, some people are just this twisted!  

But I believe you all will believe Yezi, ~\(≧▽≦)/~