****
Sook-hee’s illness got worse, so she was admitted to a VIP room at a hospital under the Howon Group. There was no hope left. She refused hospitalization until the very end, but when even Cheon-woo persuaded her, Sook-hee had no choice but to give in. After that, Yoo-jin did not go to kindergarten and spent all her time with Sook-hee.
Today was an ordinary day, no different from any other. Yoo-jin was unusually tired. Sook-hee held Yoo-jin in her arms and gently patted her.
“Mom… when I wake up, let’s eat together. Dad told me to make sure you take your medicine.”
“Mm, he did. Okay. Sleep now. When you wake up, we’ll do that.”
“…And… draw pictures… too.”
“Mm, we have to draw too.”
“…Together…”
After mumbling a few words, Yoo-jin fell asleep. Holding the sleeping child in her arms, Sook-hee cried.
“Baby, Mom is sorry.”
All she could give was an apology. She asked forgiveness for not being able to stay by her side for half a lifetime, and for not being able to be with her through all the days ahead.
He knew too well that this was the place to give her final words, so he didn't want to go. She was the one he had clung to, confessing awkward though sincere that for them there would be eternity, never an end. She was the one who had shown him that such fierce emotions could be held for another, the one he wanted to devote everything to protect. He did not want to be at her end. It felt as though it would be like placing a final period.
With such thoughts, he ran to her side. He ran until he could hardly breathe, until it would not have been strange if his breath gave out, until he finally reached her.
At last, when they managed to clasp hands and push back the crowd of medical staff so they could be alone together. She was still beautiful, just like the first time she smiled at him.
“…Don’t cry. You’re a strong person.”
“…”
At the words telling him not to cry, he swallowed his tears. His eyes, with broken blood vessels, were full of emotions that could overflow at any moment. At Sook-hee’s words, Cheon-woo did not shed a single tear, and he did not let out a single groan. Still, he looked pitiful, like a howling beast. Seeing Cheon-woo like a screaming animal, Sook-hee smiled sadly. Leaving behind this childlike man, and leaving Yoo-jin, who was even more of a child than him, felt too cruel.
“…You, go all the way. See the ending you want. Go to the very top in this country. Do everything you want to do, and protect Yoo-jin well so she is not lonely. Let Yoo-jin meet someone she loves and live well. Finish everything you want to do, and then come to me.”
“...”
“And when Yoo-jin gets married, don’t oppose it like my father did. Okay?”
“…I promise I will keep it.”
“Hngh… ah….”
He took in even the sight of her letting out a groan. Her once gentle voice had grown rough after a long illness, and her clear breathing became harsh. Even so, she was still beautiful and lovely. The last moment of the one he staked his life on loving, the moment he so desperately wished not to hold, was carved into his heart.
“…Thank you for becoming my person, for being my husband, and for being my daughter’s father.”
“…Sook-hee, I love you.”
The machine sounds became irregular. Her clear eyes slowly lost their light. He kept whispering, saying ‘I love you’, like a confession. Medical staff surrounded them. It was hard to tell whether the cries around them were from family or from beasts. The strength vanished from the hand he had been holding. The strong woman who had tightly gripped his large, straight hand, saying she would never let go, slowly lost her grip.
In a dry voice, death was declared. With just one sentence, this beautiful person’s life ended. He had not finished saying I love you. He had not apologized for not being able to stay with her. He had not told her how he would live with Yoo-jin.
Their joined hands fell apart. He was not ready yet. He was not ready to face a life without her. He wanted to see her face longer. He was not ready to let her go. A white cloth separated the dead from the living.
As of today, his life collapsed.
****
‘Baby, Mom is sorry.’
Though she had fallen asleep together with her mother, Yoo-jin did not hear that voice. In the slowly cooling embrace of her mother, she dreamed of going to an amusement park, holding the hands of a healthy mother and a taciturn father. And only after her mother had departed from the world did she finally open her eyes.
“Uung… Dad, where did Mom go?”
When she opened her eyes again, Cheon-woo was sitting with his back turned on the bed where her mom had been lying. He did not answer. Yoo-jin clung to him because he would not turn around, but Cheon-woo did not move. Though he was quiet, he had always been warm. Now he just held his forehead and stayed silent.
“Dad, where did Mom go?”
Though she was very young, Yoo-jin felt strange fear and shook Cheon-woo as she clung to him. Missing her mom, she repeated the same question like a parrot. Cheon-woo lowered his head as if he could not hear her. Cold words from outside the door stabbed into his chest like knives.
“Aigo, what will happen to such a young child…”
“Only Yoo-jin is pitiful now.”
Cheap pity was no different from blame. Yoo-jin soon burst into tears. Seeing Yoo-jin, who looked like both himself and Sook-hee, Cheon-woo pulled the child into his arms.
Yoo-jin was led by her father, who did not explain where her mother went, and attended the funeral. Heavy rain poured the entire time. On the last day, under thunder and lightning, Yoo-jin wore a hairpin with a butterfly-like white ribbon and only followed Cheon-woo’s back. At the frightening sound of thunder, she reached out to her father, but he did not turn around.
“Dad…”
“…”
“Dad…!”
The empty eyes of someone whose life had collapsed rested on Yoo-jin for a brief moment, then left. The downpour made umbrellas useless. Between splashing raindrops came blame disguised as pity, the cold shoulder of her only family, and thunder that felt like the sky was falling.
“Who knew Sook-hee would die like that.”
“This is all because she got pregnant. She insisted on having a child and ate away her already weak body.”
“That husband didn't even shed a tear. He is truly a cold man.”
“He is a politician for a reason.”
“Such a waste of a life. Eloping and getting pregnant for nothing… tsk.”
The words floated around and stuck into young Yoo-jin like thorns. She would never forget the whispering faces of those relatives. Not knowing who their voices were reaching, they spoke freely like spectators. Their words were soon buried under rain and thunder.
****
After Sook-hee’s death, Cheon-woo told everyone in the house that no one was allowed to enter Sook-hee’s room. Yoo-jin was no exception. Still, driven by instinctive longing, she secretly entered the room with Jae-joon and was caught. Enraged, Cheon-woo shouted.
“Do not ever enter this room again.”
“…Uncle!”
“Get out now.”
“No, I will not go out. This is my mom’s room. You go out. You go out.”
“Uncle, Yoo-jin just misses Aunt...”
“Secretary Kim. Take the kids out.”
Yoo-jin struggled as she was dragged out by the secretary. Leaving behind the exhausted child crying, Jae-joon looked at Cheon-woo in panic. The eyes that looked down on everyone soon disappeared behind the closing door.
“Brother-in-law, what did Yoo-jin do wrong? I will scold Jae-joon, so at least Yoo-jin...”
“Please don’t interfere. She is my daughter.”
“…”
“Please leave, brother.”
Woo-hyung sighed and left the room filled with Sook-hee’s scent. No words would reach him now. The door creaked shut, and Cheon-woo locked it. Then he slowly collapsed to the floor. He closed his eyes and breathed in. The place once filled with Sook-hee’s scent was now stained with unfamiliar ones.
“…”
Tears spread. He grew up hearing that his emotions were dry, so he cried silently. There was no one to hold him even if he cried in front of them, so he chose to cry alone. Crying out loud was a luxury. Grabbing his own hair, he cried for the one who left.
The man pointed as a cold politician, as someone without blood or tears, cried silently and pitifully. With no one to listen, he could not cry out loud. He wailed as the familiar scent slowly faded.
Yoo-jin came to mind. Yoo-jin, who looked like him and like Sook-hee, crying in a fit. He should have held her like Sook-hee did, but he did not want to accept Sook-hee’s death. It felt like admitting that Sook-hee, who would scold him and hold Yoo-jin, no longer existed. From his filthy mouth came only trash words that hurt a child.
“…I have to accept it.”
His voice, mixed with tears, sounded pitiful.
“…I have to let you go now.”
His voice cracked like his dead wife’s.
“…Now I have to love you.”
Putting aside the grief of losing his wife, he now had to love Yoo-jin. He had to cherish his daughter. His world had collapsed, and every breath hurt. He hated the scent fading with time. He was drowning in this sorrow and could not escape. Sook-hee, what should I do? What am I supposed to do?
Dragged out while having a fit from Cheon-woo’s shouting, Yoo-jin fainted. After that, she developed aphasia. She refused all communication and shut herself off from the world.
Yoo-jin’s room, filled with traces of her mother, was always tightly closed. Everyone felt sorry for her cut off relationships, but Yoo-jin liked the closed room best. It smelled faintly of her mom, and it held memories of being together. Inside this room, it felt like being with her mom.
With attachment broken, family bonds twisted, and social ties collapsed, anxiety was only natural for a child. Just stepping outside the room deepened her fear, so she did not go to kindergarten and stayed inside. At times, psychologists and doctors invited by Woo-hyung and Yoo-jin’s grandparents visited, but only for short moments.
Yoo-jin played alone with the dolls she once played with Sook-hee and fell asleep from exhaustion. Only then could Cheon-woo enter the room. He picked up Yoo-jin from the floor and soothed her.
“…Mom…”
At the sorrowful sleep talk, Cheon-woo awkwardly patted Yoo-jin’s back. I'm in this much pain, so how must you feel, my little one. His weak hand carried clumsy affection. People said Sook-hee died because she had you, but Sook-hee told me never to listen to that.
At first, I blamed myself, thinking maybe they were right. But I'm Sook-hee’s husband and Yoo-jin’s father, so I stopped caring about such words. I was thankful I could hold you.
“…What should I do to ease your heart?”
The one who shared worries with me is gone now, so I must think about everything alone. I'm scared that my clumsy self will make even worse choices. I have already made many mistakes with you. Can I be a good father to you?
“…Sleep well.”
All I can give is a good night greeting, so I’m sorry. Sleep well, my daughter. After laying Yoo-jin on the bed and pulling the blanket up to her neck, Cheon-woo watched her for a long time before leaving the room. A faint smile rested on Yoo-jin’s lips.
****
Woo-hyung struggled with all his strength for his niece, and Yoo-jin’s grandparents also tried, but Yoo-jin’s closed heart did not open. Just seeing Cheon-woo caused her to have seizures, and the father-daughter relationship slowly began to collapse. After seeing Yoo-jin become drained and sick all day whenever she had a seizure, Cheon-woo chose to keep his distance.
While busy with political activities, Cheon-woo tried to talk to Yoo-jin, but her closed heart did not open easily. Unable to calm his own wounded heart, Cheon-woo buried himself in work to fill the grief. During that time, Yoo-jin’s grandparents passed away one by one. Before the pain of loss could heal, Yoo-jin lost close family again, and her personality grew sharp and irritable.
Speech therapists and child psychology specialists stayed by Yoo-jin’s side in real time, but no one could treat Yoo-jin, whose distrust of people had reached the extreme. The death of her mother, who formed her strongest bond, her father’s cold treatment, and the early deaths of relatives were too much for a young Yoo-jin to bear.
At that time, media attention shot through the roof, and reporters disguised as paparazzi followed young Yoo-jin. Even assigning bodyguards was useless. Whenever Yoo-jin stepped outside, reporters clung to her fiercely because she would inherit Sook-hee’s shares in the Howon Group. Because of that, Yoo-jin became afraid of going outside at all.
Only after Cheon-woo officially filed lawsuits and the Howon Group took firm action could Yoo-jin live something close to a normal life. From then on, her aphasia eased, and she could attend school. Even so, yellow journalism and trash reporters chasing third rate stories followed Yoo-jin. Relying on bodyguards to go to school, Yoo-jin was avoided by classmates.
To an elementary school child, bodyguards were just intimidating men. By middle and high school, she had to face admiration, envy, and jealousy toward a rich family’s daughter. There were no true friends. Cheap pity and shameless attempts to latch on both felt disgusting.
“You’ve had it really hard, right?”
“Since you were young… pitiful. You must have suffered like hell. What a shame.”
“Do rich people really pile up gold and stuff?”
“Hey, I saw a photo of your cousin yesterday. He’s really handsome. Can you introduce him to me?”
Yoo-jin did not want either type as friends. So she gave up on making friends and focused on studying. She coldly pushed away anyone who approached. Without saying much, just staring at them with aloof and empty eyes was enough to make them back off. They judged and belittled her however they wanted, saying she grew up without a mother and did not know her place, or that this is why rich kids are no good. She acted like she did not care, but every word flew into her heart like a knife.
Those words mixed with what relatives whispered with “concerned” voices whenever they saw Yoo-jin and Cheon-woo, and with the gossip of spectators. Motherless child, woman who killed her mother, heir who stepped on her mother’s corpse. With such filthy wordplay, Yoo-jin came to think of herself as a child who devoured her own mother. Insomnia, anxiety disorder, emotional instability. All of it became painfully familiar to Yoo-jin.
When the label ‘rude brat’ naturally stuck in front of the name Ha Yoo-jin, Yoo-jin entered the prestigious Y University, one of the top schools in the country. College life was just so-so. Still, because she entered the business administration department with many undergraduates, few people knew who she was, so she could live something like a normal college life. The one problem that remained was her relationship with her father.
“Why are you coming in now?”
“I had plans.”
“…Watch your behavior. You should focus more on studying….”
“I’m an adult. It’s eleven o’clock.”
“So what, are you going to live however you want?”
“…”
“You think it’s your life so it doesn’t matter, right? Have you ever thought about what your father does, or what your mother’s family does, and how you should act properly?”
“…Ha.”
At Cheon-woo’s words, Yoo-jin snorted. Behavior? Whose behavior was he blaming? Irritation rose, and the same river shaped wrinkle appeared between Yoo-jin’s brows, just like Cheon-woo’s.
“Because appearances matter to others, you don’t care what your child thinks or feels, right?”
“…Watch your mouth.”
“Oh, you do care. You secretly send people to spy and make sure I don’t do anything that blocks your path. That dirty kind of con—”
Pa. A heavy slapping sound rang out. Even after striking her, Cheon-woo flinched and stepped back in shock. Holding her swelling cheek, Yoo-jin snorted once more.
“Now you’re even hitting me.”
“…”
“Have you ever shown proper concern even once? Have you ever wondered what I want to do, what makes me suffer, what worries I have?”
“…”
There was no warmth in the eyes of the father and daughter staring at each other. Only deep hatred, resentment, and silence. Cheon-woo clenched his fist.
“…Come home early.”
“No.”
Yoo-jin glared at Cheon-woo with sharp eyes. His eyebrow twitched, a clear sign his emotions were badly hurt.
“I’ll live however I want now, so do whatever you like, assign people or not.”
After pouring out her words, Yoo-jin irritably flung the door open and went out again. Unable to stop her, Cheon-woo let out a long sigh as the door slammed shut. He pressed his temple and leaned against the wall.
“…Where did it all go wrong...”
Cheon-woo knew the answer himself, but it could not be undone. Yoo-jin’s heart had already been shredded, and though he did not mean to, Cheon-woo was no different from someone who took part in it. He could not become a firm support for his child. He failed to keep what he swore and promised to Sook-hee. How could he ever face her again? Cheon-woo mocked himself.
Assigning people to watch Yoo-jin, whose heart was closed, might be criticized as wrong, but to Cheon-woo, it was the last option left. It was fine if she rebelled against him. But anything happening outside could leave scars on Yoo-jin’s future. Yoo-jin thought even that was only for her father’s dignity, but…
In Cheon-woo’s view, Yoo-jin was someone who was destined to be the next heir of Howon Department Store and a member of the Howon Group. Though his father-in-law hated him deeply, the man cherished Yoo-jin because she resembled his daughter, his decision showed it clearly. The department store that was Sook-hee’s share went to Yoo-jin. He also heard that Woo-hyung recommended business studies to Yoo-jin and sometimes explained how the company worked.
This country loved to take interest in others. Even more so with figures from politics and business who were always in the spotlight. As Cheon-woo climbed higher to challenge for the presidency, just as Sook-hee wished and said, he grew lonelier. And political enemies appeared. Those enemies did not aim arrows only at him. Their arrows turned toward his daughter and his wife’s family.
For Yoo-jin, who had already been hurt enough, another scandal was no different from holding a knife to her throat. To prevent that in advance, Cheon-woo chose to be hated and assigned people to her. He thought staying silent was best. This was Cheon-woo’s way of protecting his daughter, his person, his child.
****