Chapter 30: The Person Who Took The Photo Also Stayed In The Photo

Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=5310224
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com

After getting off work, Ji Lianxing didn’t go to Jiang Shu’s house. She went to Song Homes 3rd Courtyard to pack her things and get ready to leave the next day.

The next morning, it was still raining. Ji  Lianxing got up early and rushed to the station.

Her hometown was a small county not far from N City. The high-speed train took about two hours.

It was her first time going back in three years. After her junior year in college, she never went back again. There were two reasons: she had to work part-time during summer to make money, and during winter break, Ji Siyu’s mother never showed her a good face. After a while, Ji Lianxing simply stopped going home.

On the way, the train passed through another city. Its medical conditions were not much different from N City. This was where her uncle had been treated before. Now, he had given up on treatment and gone back home. It was just like what Ji Siyu said—he wouldn't hold on much longer.

Thinking of this made Ji Lianxing feel suffocated.

Two hours later, the train stopped at Luo’er County. Ji Lianxing walked out of the station and found that the small county hadn’t changed much in these few years.

Most buildings were still old. The main district had started building new ones. There were still small stalls on the streets. The noodle shop was still the same noodle shop. The old road was still the same old road. Only now, a park was under construction. She heard that next year Luo’er County would go through a big renovation, and many places would probably be demolished then.

But right now, it is still a relatively poor county.

Ji Lianxing flagged down a tricycle, and it was still a pedal tricycle.

“Sir, how much to Feiqian Village?”

The driver looked kind and made a “5” gesture with his fingers.

Ji Lianxing got on and sat in the back seat. When she was little, her mother liked to take her on these tricycles when they went shopping.

Back then, she always liked staring at the driver’s legs while sitting on the tricycle. Because of years of pedaling, almost every driver’s calves were thick and strong.

This time was no different. Ji Lianxing stared at his legs in a daze. She noticed that the tricycle driver was already old. He panted heavily while pedaling and seemed to struggle a bit.

Ten minutes later.

“Miss, we’re here.” He wiped the sweat from his face, looked at Ji Lianxing carefully, and asked, “Where are you coming back from?”

“N City.” Ji Lianxing took out a banknote and handed it to him.

“Not bad, not bad. Back from the big city.”

“Thank you, sir. You worked hard.” Ji Lianxing didn’t chat with him. She hurried home.

After entering the village, the aunties and grandmas looked at her with curious eyes. They were always like this. A new young face would make their curiosity reach its peak.

“Is that Ji Fatty?” one auntie said in dialect, very excited.

“Yes, yes, yes! She looks so pretty now, it must be her!!!”

“The little girl isn’t fat anymore, why are you all still calling her that?” A few aunties looked at Ji Lianxing with smiling faces. Their eyes seemed to say: she hasn’t been back for three years, and she’s grown so pretty.

Ji Lianxing could only force herself to greet them. She knew all these people: Aunt Zhao Si, Aunt Wang Er, Aunt Fang — all of them had witnessed just how chubby she used to be when she was little.

“Hello, aunties.” Ji Lianxing replied in dialect.

“Aiya.” Aunt Fang showed a distressed look and said, “You came back because of your uncle’s matters, didn’t you? That brother of yours really doesn’t care about anything. Always acting like some useless loafer.”  

(She meant someone who’s idle and fooling around all day.)

It had been so long since she returned. Hearing the local dialect again, Ji Lianxing felt a mix of familiarity and strangeness. People in her hometown were much more warm and friendly, reminding her of childhood days when she would visit neighbors from house to house.

“He’s always like that. There’s nothing I can do.”

After a few polite words, Ji Lianxing slipped away from their concern.

Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=5310224
This translation was originally posted on https://love4baihe.blogspot.com

She accepted their kindness, but there was no point in talking too much.

Ji Lianxing walked toward her uncle’s house. It was a courtyard. The yard looked a bit shabby, with wild grass growing everywhere like an old man who hadn’t shaved for a long time.

Though rundown, the place was quite spacious. If someone tidied it up a bit, it could actually be pretty nice.

The house was the common tiled-roof style. Ji Lianxing stepped into the yard and almost slipped on some moss after just a few steps.

The door was open. There was no electric light inside. Even though it was daytime, it was still a bit dark.

“Ji Siyu...” Ji Lianxing called into the house.

She called again for Ji Siyu’s mother: “Auntie, I’m back.”

A woman walked out from inside the house. She was about 1.6 meters tall, with a mean face and sallow skin. Time had already taken away her youth and beauty, leaving only a few obvious wrinkles.

She was holding a bowl of porridge, glanced at Ji Lianxing, and said unhappily, “You’re back, so what are you shouting for? Don't you know how to come in by yourself?”

Ji Lianxing walked into the house and asked her, “Is Uncle in his room?”

“Now you know to come back? He is about to die, you really are a white-eyed wolf*.”

*白眼狼 (báiyǎnláng) - ungrateful person

As expected, this was how it always felt when she came home.

Ji Siyu’s mother was named Wang Xiaoli. Her sharp tongue could tear anyone down to nothing, except for her precious son.

When Wang Xiaoli said this to Ji Lianxing, she felt nothing wrong at all. She seemed to have forgotten that she was scolding the only person in the village who had been admitted to a top university, the one who was the most promising and the least deserving to be called ungrateful, because Ji Lianxing was far better than Ji Siyu, her own son.

“I—” Ji Lianxing wanted to speak but swallowed her words. Forget it, what was there to argue with her for? Wang Xiaoli and her uncle had been married through an arranged marriage. They never got along, and the relationship between husband and wife had always been bad.

Under Wang Xiaoli’s gaze, Ji Lianxing walked toward the bedroom.

Standing at the door, Ji Lianxing took a deep breath. She was afraid she wouldn't be able to handle seeing her uncle’s current state.

“Uncle, I’m back.” She spoke first, then entered the room.

The room was dimly lit. A skinny man was lying on the bed. Due to chemotherapy, his hair had fallen out. He was skin and bones, with protruding cheekbones and tired eyes. His appearance was in stark contrast to the one in Ji Lianxing's memory.

But it had only been four months, and the illness had already turned him from a strong middle-aged man into someone extremely weak. He had lost at least 30 pounds.

His breathing had become very weak, but his chest still rose and fell. The rhythm of his breath was so slow that it made people feel like he couldn't catch his breath.

Ji Lianxing's eyes turned red. They clearly had said he was getting better before. When they spoke on the phone, he had also said he was slowly recovering.

"Uncle..." Ji Lianxing walked to the bedside, and her tears fell like a stream, dripping onto the pillow with a patter.

She saw that his hand was so thin that only bones were left. One hand could hold it completely, and the back of his hand was full of veins.

His eyelids were closed, but his fingers were moving. He mumbled a few words, but nobody knew what he was saying.

"Uncle, I’m back." Ji Lianxing held his hand and repeated this sentence by his ear.

"Eh, good girl, Little Fatty." His voice was muddy, and his eyes wanted to open but couldn't. Ji Lianxing couldn't bear to watch and turned around to wipe her tears.

"Don't cry." Her uncle reached out a hand and gently patted the back of Ji Lianxing's hand. "Good Little Fatty, go, go take some candy to eat, inside the box."

When she heard "take some candy to eat," Ji Lianxing couldn't hold it in anymore. Tears kept falling, and her vision became blurry. Her uncle's figure became fuzzy.

The candy box was always her uncle's surprise for her when she was little. As long as she was unhappy, she could open that box, and there would always be sweet candy inside.

"I’m sorry, it’s my fault, I’m unfilial, it’s my fault, Uncle, I’m a white-eyed wolf, I should’ve come back a long time ago." Ji Lianxing’s shoulders were trembling hard. It hurt deep inside when she cried. She regretted not coming home on the weekends to see him. She shouldn’t have refused to come back just because she didn’t want to see Wang Xiaoli.

She should’ve seen him more, seen him while he was still healthy. Wouldn’t that have been great?

The quilt still carried a strong smell of medicine, and also a kind of stench coming out from his body, from his skin, his organs, and his soul that was about to wither.

Her uncle understood Ji Lianxing’s words. He kept shaking his head, using what little strength he had left to pat Ji Lianxing’s arm.

"No, no, it’s not your fault. No, I don’t blame you. Candy, candy box, good girl." Her uncle took a breath, rested for a while, then said again, "In the box, there’s a letter, go, go take a look."

There was a letter in the candy box. Ji Lianxing understood.

In the narrow, shabby house, the light was dim. On top of the old wardrobe sat a tin box. Ten years ago, that box was full of candies Ji Lianxing loved to eat.

White peach flavor, corn flavor, green apple flavor...

Now there were two more flavors. One was the smell of medicine, and the other was the smell of rot coming from his body.

In the dim light, Ji Lianxing unfolded the yellowish-white letter. It was written by her uncle. Thirty years ago, he was also a cultured man.

[Little Ji Fatty, if you’re seeing this letter, it means I’m not far from Yama*. When I wrote this, I had just gotten the test results. The hospital said it’s late stage. I’ll have to do chemotherapy. Well, so be it. Today I stared in the mirror for half an hour and talked to my hair, because I have to say goodbye to them too.

*god of death/god of the underworld in Chinese mythology and Buddhism 

Actually, death isn’t scary. When your mom passed away, I told you this before. Now I’ll say it again. Even if we leave, we’re still with you.

Little Ji Fatty good child, your burden is too heavy. Some things shouldn’t be carried by you. Studying isn’t wrong. If you don’t study, it’s easy to end up like Ji Siyu.

The 300,000 yuan from six years ago, that wasn’t a loan. Your mom was my family too. You can’t call it a loan, it was a gift. I was willing to give it.

There’s still 30,000 yuan in the box’s card. 5,000 yuan of it is from the scholarship money you sent me during college. The remaining 25,000 is your dowry. I originally wanted to save up more for you, but I couldn't save enough before I leave.

I probably won’t get to see you get married. You must be happy.]

On the back of the envelope, it said:

[Cremate me. Keep half of my ashes, and scatter the other half into Jin’e River. I’m going to find your dad to play chess.]

Instead of a name, at the end was another line:

[I still have something to give you, but I can’t tell you yet. Remember: after you get that thing, don’t go soft-hearted. It belongs to you.]

Tears gushed from Ji Lianxing's eyes, streaming down uncontrollably. He had actually written this letter a few months ago.

And the 8,000 yuan she had gotten from her university scholarship, she had sent him 5,000 yuan, telling him to buy clothes, buy cigarettes, do whatever he wanted. She hadn't thought too much, she just wanted to repay him in the most direct way.

In the end, he didn't even have enough money for his own treatment, yet he still managed to squeeze out another 25,000 yuan as her dowry.

He really was her only family. Ji Lianxing cried so hard that even her breathing became difficult. She was being pulled into the deep sea, falling endlessly, almost suffocating.

Why must the people who were good to her all leave?

Her father had fallen into the river while fishing when she was six years old and never came up again. Clearly, everyone said he could swim.

Her mother had gotten leukemia in the year of her college entrance exam, and she also left just like that.

Now that she had just turned twenty-four, she thought life could finally set sail. At least in her future plans, her uncle was supposed to be the one enjoying a good life.

"Are you really in that much of a hurry?" Ji Lianxing lay on the bedside, wailing, "If you leave, what am I going to do? No one will love me, care for me, or spoil me anymore."

"Little Fatty, I cannot wait anymore." Her uncle looked at Ji Lianxing and breathed out his last breath, saying, "Maybe this time, it really is, really is, the end."

His breath was weak, a very gentle breath came out from his nose and drifted away. There was nothing left.

The room was very quiet. Ji Lianxing lowered her head and didn't let go of his hand.

In the candy box beside her, it was filled with white peach flavor, corn flavor, and green apple flavor candies. There was also a bank card and a photo of Ji Lianxing when she was little.

He was a literary youth of that era and owned a vintage camera.

Fifteen years ago, on that day when Ji Lianxing had cried looking for her father, Uncle had brought her to stand under the cherry tree in the village and said to her:

"Ji Fatty, I’m your father’s older brother. Don’t be afraid, I’m your uncle, and I’m also your father."

"Come, let me take a photo of you."

"Your mom bought you such pretty little leather shoes. If you smile, you’ll look even cuter."

"I’ll teach you, say ‘eggplant’*."

*茄子 (qiézǐ) - Chinese version of ‘say Cheese’

"Eggplant——" The young Ji Lianxing grinned, raised her hand, and made a peace sign.

Her little red leather shoes stayed in the photo, and the person who took the photo also stayed in the photo.